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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 18 2013 11:35 Wombat_NI wrote:
As long as you're not a complete idiot about expressing your passions, I find from personal experience that girls prefer guys who have some kind of interest or hobby, over those who don't, even if they don't share the interest.
The thing is that very few girls are incredibly picky about hobbies. They tend to want the guy to have them, and if the guy has anything else they want, the point becomes an added bonus. In some cases shared interests through hobbies will win the day, but in a lot of cases, it only really takes one shared interest to get the ball rolling. For me, I did debate, met my gf doing debate, we couldn't be more different when it came to hobbies and lifestyles, but we just clicked like that. So long as you, as the guy, don't say, "yeah, my hobby is having a 7:1 kd on *insert x popular shooter (or really any hobby at all, just using shooter here)* under the name XxCunt_Destroy3rxX and another at like 4:1 on my main, I fuckin shit on these noobs all day long, yo, like I don't know why you don't wanna jump down my pants hella bad chica," you are close to in the clear.
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Pretty good, I think I am quite good with women, thanks for asking.
Worst date I ever been on was with this crazy chick sophmore year of college that ended up stalking me for a month after.
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Northern Ireland27350 Posts
Brb, changing my Bnet name to XxCunt_Destroy3rxX
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^ You mean, like in American Psycho? That's disgusting!
I am making my own social experiment about nerdiness right now with that online-dating stuff. As these sites don't give you the chance to express your hobbies that much if not writing about it in your summary-stuff, most profiles sound pretty much the same. Everyone does sports, loves movies, cooking and going out with friends.
I am gonna keep track how often a girl looses every interest the second i mention that i do roleplaying and videogames ADDITIONALLY to playing Volleyball on an advanced level, playing soccer, being intersted in cooking, nature, foreign and old cultures and being kind of funny.
Currently:
1/1
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
A girl will also lose interest if you spell lose 'loose'. Friendly warning ^_^
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Northern Ireland27350 Posts
On June 18 2013 18:43 Broetchenholer wrote:
^ You mean, like in American Psycho? That's disgusting!
I am making my own social experiment about nerdiness right now with that online-dating stuff. As these sites don't give you the chance to express your hobbies that much if not writing about it in your summary-stuff, most profiles sound pretty much the same. Everyone does sports, loves movies, cooking and going out with friends.
I am gonna keep track how often a girl looses every interest the second i mention that i do roleplaying and videogames ADDITIONALLY to playing Volleyball on an advanced level, playing soccer, being intersted in cooking, nature, foreign and old cultures and being kind of funny.
Currently:
1/1
Please keep us updated!
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Why can't you meet with girls that play volleyball?
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Because those in the girls team of my club are all already taken ;D Also, i am really shy and like to know people a little better before i make moves. Maybe i will overcome this at some time, but right now, there are no social circles left where i could befriend girls in the first place. So i thought, i will give online-dating a try. That way, i will get a bit more experienced around first encounters, if not actually meeting someone intersting.
Those girls should better appreciated that i actually have some flaws except being completely perfect, like spelling lose loose. Makes me more human!
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There will be new girls joining the club every year though.
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And maybe i will even approach them :D After all, Volleyball-girls tend to be above-average in my book. But why would i want to wait until a girl magically appears in my world. You wouldn't do as well, right?
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On June 18 2013 19:19 Broetchenholer wrote:
Because those in the girls team of my club are all already taken ;D Also, i am really shy and like to know people a little better before i make moves. Maybe i will overcome this at some time, but right now, there are no social circles left where i could befriend girls in the first place. So i thought, i will give online-dating a try. That way, i will get a bit more experienced around first encounters, if not actually meeting someone intersting.
Those girls should better appreciated that i actually have some flaws except being completely perfect, like spelling lose loose. Makes me more human!
I was only teasing <3
My experience of online dating websites is that people tend to find weird interests and hobbies pretty interesting. Most interesting conversations I ever had on them were because I or the other person had some different-from-usual tidbit on their profile
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On June 18 2013 19:35 Broetchenholer wrote:
And maybe i will even approach them :D After all, Volleyball-girls tend to be above-average in my book. But why would i want to wait until a girl magically appears in my world. You wouldn't do as well, right?
Well, do you have a long-term plan to overcome shyness?
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Um, no. It's part of the person i am. Maybe i will at some time leave it behind me and just flirt with girls. But it's already a huge change for me to make an effort in looking for them girls, i don't want to bend my personality too hard.
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On June 18 2013 21:15 Broetchenholer wrote:
Um, no. It's part of the person i am. Maybe i will at some time leave it behind me and just flirt with girls. But it's already a huge change for me to make an effort in looking for them girls, i don't want to bend my personality too hard.
I don't think that excessive shyness is so much a personality trait as a personality weakness, so I don't think seeking to overcome it should be framed as compromising your personality, it should rather mean you are trying to improving yourself. I myself am very shy, to my detriment, so I try to be on the lookout for ways to not have it affect my life too significantly. That's not to say you should go clubbing and approaching people in singles bars, but wouldn't it be nice if you could approach people that you like?
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
Did Broetchenholer say he was "excessively" shy? I just read shy.
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On June 18 2013 21:34 marvellosity wrote:
Did Broetchenholer say he was "excessively" shy? I just read shy.
Mno, but I was just describing a general tendency that he might see some of himself in. I was mostly talking about myself, since I'm kinda excessively shy. >.>
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On June 18 2013 21:55 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2013 21:34 marvellosity wrote:
Did Broetchenholer say he was "excessively" shy? I just read shy. Mno, but I was just describing a general tendency that he might see some of himself in. I was mostly talking about myself, since I'm kinda excessively shy. >.>
It's a kinda interesting conversation, because how shy is too shy? I've never been one to initiate with other people, but I carry myself with confidence and that always seems to have done the trick for me.
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On June 18 2013 22:01 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On June 18 2013 21:55 Grumbels wrote:On June 18 2013 21:34 marvellosity wrote:
Did Broetchenholer say he was "excessively" shy? I just read shy. Mno, but I was just describing a general tendency that he might see some of himself in. I was mostly talking about myself, since I'm kinda excessively shy. >.> It's a kinda interesting conversation, because how shy is too shy? I've never been one to initiate with other people, but I carry myself with confidence and that always seems to have done the trick for me.
I think in the context of dating it seems to me that being afraid to approach a girl that you like is clearly a weakness. I think shyness is different from being introverted.
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I do believe that there are levels of shy that are a weakness. If you have a mad crush on a girl but can't force yourself to approach her at all, yeah, then maybe you sould work on your shyness.
I can approach people that i like. However, i cannot find out whether i might like people in the first place. Once i am in a group of people that i know and that know me, i am cracking jokes. However, i would never approach a girl that looks attractive and start a conversation because i might like her. So yeah, maybe in 7 months that new girl joins my club and i get to see her from time to time after games together with my teammates and her teammates. And then i realize that she might be worth a try. I am confident that i would approach her.
So, yeah, i don't think that shyness is my weakness, it's more that i don't have a lot of opportunities to meet new people or, more precisely, don't force myself to meet new people. The biggest spike in the dating-profile of this date-site is "more introverted".
Edit: Fuck no, it's "more sloppy". That is bad!
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On June 18 2013 22:24 Broetchenholer wrote:
I do believe that there are levels of shy that are a weakness. If you have a mad crush on a girl but can't force yourself to approach her at all, yeah, then maybe you sould work on your shyness.
How about I cant approach her because i went on a date with her sister? Feels kinda wierd, pro tip, dont go out with your best friends sister.
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EPT
