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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 17 2013 00:21 Pulselol wrote:Show nested quote +On June 16 2013 22:51 Diavolo222 wrote:
My last experience with a girl was when she told me she doesnt have time for a "this".( tho in my language is sounds a bit more abrasive than this ). Then 1 month later I see she posted new photos on facebook with her and her new boyfriend eating one another's faces. have you ever stopped to think that perhaps you're just not attractive at all and probably need to change the way you are entirely, and not just for women? personally that's a huge red flag to me, just from reading your post.
I usually don't post in here, I just read and try to learn more about different people but I feel that nobody else might ask this question and I don't want to wait.
Could you please explain to me why this quoted part is a red flag to you? From what I understand some girl wasn't interested in OP and she told him some silly excuse instead of telling him directly that she is not interested. And if I got it right up to this point it's just what happens, a girl is not interested in a boy and she doesn't tell him that directly. How can you make a heavy assumption at this point that there's something wrong with the boy?
I told you how I understand (or don't understand) just to make sure that you are able to give me proper explanation, thanks in advance.
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On June 16 2013 13:52 sambo400 wrote:
It seems like every girl I want doesn't want me, and every girl that wants me, I don't want.
Sigh
It's funny how that the last two girls I had an interest in (one last year, one this year) who turned me down have turned around now and expressed interest, with the first one showing regret that she just wanted to "stay friends". And now I don't really have any interest in them.
Have a date with a girl today (not the two mentioned above). It's funny, cause I was going to spend all day with my dad, but he somehow found out about her through my sister, and told me, "just play golf with me next week; go get her, son."
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Step 1:Are you after a relationship or sex?
If you answered sex, proceed to and finish at step 2, otherwise go to 3.
Step 2: Being a pretty boy, or masculine (muscles and strong personality frame) is important when taking this route, take your pick depending on your personality and physique and go to places where there are horny lonely women, work, clubs, dating sites all work. Should be pretty straight forward from here.
Step 3: This is by far the most important step in a relationship, you have to make sure that the female not only enjoys being with you beyond attraction but you also enjoy being around her even when not boning her with your mind. Sure way to find out this is to spend time with her immediately after masturbating, if you are bored shitless or generally don't respect her as a human being then abandon ship. Beware if pursuing rebounds, if your strategy is to befriend a girl and use breakup techniques in the hope that you can take the place of her previous BF be very very careful as its recipe for disaster.
Step 4: You have to move fairly quickly from here, do not pretend to be something you are not. No shit like "You are like a sister to me BFFs forever homie!" that's a sure way to get your ass friendzoned and you do not want that. Judge whether she likes you as more than a friend or not - tells are if she appears relaxed around you, cares a lot about her appearance around you, laughs at your jokes, attempts at bodily contact or if pupils are massive when around you (assuming she isn't drunk or a druggie). If she has a BF at this point things are more difficult, you don't want to make her unconformable with your advances but nor do you want to give her the impression you don't really give a shit about her life. In my experience the more overt breakup techniques don't work as well. Treat her like you would any of your male friends with the exception of making sure she knows you find her attractive, do not put the pussy on the pedestal, if you are a white knight kill that desire ASAP it will get you nowhere.
Step 5: If successful in step 4 then you both are well aware that you like eachother as more than friends, start normal couple things and if you work out, great! Best advice I can give here is be honest, I know its cliche but if you are playing games with each others emotions then your relationship has an expiry date. If unsuccessful in step 4 you can try waiting for a rebound and hope for the best but I wouldn't recommend it, best course of action is normally to just distance yourself. If she misses you she will reach out AND be aware of your feelings for her if she doesn't reach out do your best to move on.
Hope this helps anyone and goodluck!
P.S stay away from dating sites unless desperate all sorts of crazy there.
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Northern Ireland26422 Posts
On June 17 2013 00:43 Chaosu wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2013 00:21 Pulselol wrote:On June 16 2013 22:51 Diavolo222 wrote:
My last experience with a girl was when she told me she doesnt have time for a "this".( tho in my language is sounds a bit more abrasive than this ). Then 1 month later I see she posted new photos on facebook with her and her new boyfriend eating one another's faces. have you ever stopped to think that perhaps you're just not attractive at all and probably need to change the way you are entirely, and not just for women? personally that's a huge red flag to me, just from reading your post. I usually don't post in here, I just read and try to learn more about different people but I feel that nobody else might ask this question and I don't want to wait. Could you please explain to me why this quoted part is a red flag to you? From what I understand some girl wasn't interested in OP and she told him some silly excuse instead of telling him directly that she is not interested. And if I got it right up to this point it's just what happens, a girl is not interested in a boy and she doesn't tell him that directly. How can you make a heavy assumption at this point that there's something wrong with the boy? I told you how I understand (or don't understand) just to make sure that you are able to give me proper explanation, thanks in advance.
Yeah I didn't see much objectionable stuff in his post overall, maybe a bit too much bitterness but definitely nothing untoward from the quoted section there.
Silly excuses rather than honesty piss me off close to more than anything in the world. I have no problem with rejection. I've heard some posit dishonesty and subterfuge as acceptable because some guys get aggressive or abusive when turned down, so I do sympathise with girls who are worried about that I guess
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I am starting to try out the online-dating thing and NOOOOOOOOOOOO i got rejected. How could that have been possible. She had so many compatibility points with me but once i said i do play video-games and do nerdy things with my frieds, she was gone. I knew her for 30 minutes.
I kid.
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Get woken up at 1:30am to let in some friends who are drunk and have no place to stay and they are almost out of gas. I have to work at 10am so I'm hesitant because I really need some sleep and can't be up for hours entertaining 4 drunk people.
I know 2 of the girls and neither of the guys. They stay for like an hour before leaving because one of the guys was actually appreciative and realized I was only going to get like 6hours of sleep at the pace they were going and decided for them to leave.
Anyway 1 of the chicks is kinda meh, but she's really clingy and really likes me. She's always touching my beard and trying to tickle me (not ticklish at all) and she gets really annoying after awhile. The other chick is super hot with red hair and black hipster glasses lol. She was the one that called me up and was the one wanting to crash for awhile.
Kept getting vibe she likes me. Said I was a very rare person who gives great hugs and wanted to get more, was constantly tripping and kept grabbing onto me and basically passing out in my arms for a few seconds, grabbed and held my hand as she got stuff out of the fridge and asked if I could specifically carry her down the stairs back to their van when they left (she came with 2 other guys who were all leaving at the same time, why make me leave my apt and not have both those guys do it lol).
Albeit she was completely smashed, maybe she's like that with everyone lol. Only met like 3 times through mutual friends.
Feel like I'm just reading too much into it. Just found out like an hour ago she's in a <month old relationship and is under 18, so I'm probably just gonna forget everything and chalk it up to her being drunk. God damn jailbait.
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On June 16 2013 13:11 Wombat_NI wrote:
I think many of the problems people have with girls stems from them being well, girls.
With members of your own gender (unless you are homosexual), you tend to be a lot more laissez-faire in striking up friendships. Interactions never have that added element of sexual attraction among the gender you're not attracted to!
I find a lot of my friends and people I know really overvalue girls based on nothing in particular. My attitude is more 'if they were a guy, would we be friends?', and if the answer is no I never really cared. There are definitely people I know who are 'friends' with girls as either keeping them in their social circle for a future hooking up, or by having them be a gateway to knowing more girls, good luck getting people to admit that though. Sometimes I'm thought a bit aloof, but a fringe benefit to that is that a bit of aloofness doesn't exactly harm your chances with the ladies.
Very accurate, if I applied that to my current friends I would have very few female friends...they just aren't that interesting besides their sexual attraction.
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I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.-
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On June 17 2013 08:58 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.-
Indeed, it's sad that in our culture people still try to hide anything game related from their social lives. Even though there is an increase in people that play video games, it's still very difficult to get anyone to admit it which makes finding gaming counterparts quite hard to find unless you go out of your way to find them at specific events and such.
A lot of girls play games out there so don't give up, but it will be hard to find any that actually admit to it..
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On June 17 2013 09:02 VayneAuthority wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2013 08:58 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.- Indeed, it's sad that in our culture people still try to hide anything game related from their social lives. Even though there is an increase in people that play video games, it's still very difficult to get anyone to admit it which makes finding gaming counterparts quite hard to find unless you go out of your way to find them at specific events and such. A lot of girls play games out there so don't give up, but it will be hard to find any that actually admit to it..
About 2 years ago I was at a friends house & she NEVER brought up or mentioned gaming. She'd get awkward when I brought it up. We were over at her place one day & I noticed she had a 360. I asked her if I could fire it up & she said sure I never touch it, it was my ex-boyfriends.
Gamertag started with PMS & she had ~10,000GS.
Really sad indeed how so many people are ashamed/embarrassed of their gaming habits.
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On June 17 2013 08:58 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.-
If you're willing to lower your standards to them "having just an interest in games," then it shouldn't be too hard. There are a lot of girls interested in JRPGs for instance. (Just throwing out a popular genre.) Most don't tend to be hardcore gamers.
It also matters what age group you're looking into. As people get older, interest in games tend to fade. Or rather, they simply get too busy to deal with games.
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On June 17 2013 09:06 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2013 08:58 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.- If you're willing to lower your standards to them "having just an interest in games," then it shouldn't be too hard. There are a lot of girls interested in JRPGs for instance. (Just throwing out a popular genre.) Most don't tend to be hardcore gamers. It also matters what age group you're looking into. As people get older, interest in games tend to fade. Or rather, they simply get too busy to deal with games.
Still hard to meet these people, especially of the female variety. My freshman year in college I dated a girl for 2 years. We played games & studied together all day every day. We never argued or anything. She ended up transferring.
Would probably be married to her right now. :/
There should be a single gamer directory. Maybe I'm being lazy.
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On June 17 2013 09:16 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2013 09:06 babylon wrote:On June 17 2013 08:58 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
I have zero luck with dating. Finding a lesbian who isn't taken & plays Starcraft, DotA, DayZ, or CS:GO is nigh impossible. I'd honestly be fine with them just having an interest in games, but even that is hard enough to find.
This thread is filled with nothing but hopes & dreams for someone like me. -.- If you're willing to lower your standards to them "having just an interest in games," then it shouldn't be too hard. There are a lot of girls interested in JRPGs for instance. (Just throwing out a popular genre.) Most don't tend to be hardcore gamers. It also matters what age group you're looking into. As people get older, interest in games tend to fade. Or rather, they simply get too busy to deal with games. Still hard to meet these people, especially of the female variety. My freshman year in college I dated a girl for 2 years. We played games & studied together all day every day. We never argued or anything. She ended up transferring. Would probably be married to her right now. :/ There should be a single gamer directory. Maybe I'm being lazy.
I must be fortunate or something. Quite a few of my female roommates have turned out to be gamers. One was a major gamer. Brought a TV to college to play her PS2 a ton; lots of Final Fantasy, Shadow of the Colossus, and Okami. Other one used to play more in the past, but she's a big fan of Diablo II (though she's never played RTS much at all). Both queer.
Also there were a lot of girls in my dorm who regularly played in the SSBB tourneys we had going on in the lounge.
Sorry to hear about your ex. Sucks.  Maybe you can reconnect?
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Northern Ireland26422 Posts
I find a lot of girls are very reticent to reveal anything that is 'quirky', not necessarily gaming. I just find it sad that there is this expectation of what girls are supposed to be interested in. The gaming habit shame is especially ridiculous, it's oft slagged off as being a 'waste of time' by people who do nothing but edit their social networking profiles and watch TV, two things I consider a lot less engaging to the grey matter.
That said, I'd prefer a girl ashamed of her gaming habits than a 'gamergurl' 
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Gamer girls are overrated. Not sure how it works out if you are lesbian but they get way too much attention and that's annoying.
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On June 17 2013 10:31 aTnClouD wrote:
Gamer girls are overrated. Not sure how it works out if you are lesbian but they get way too much attention and that's annoying.
That's definitely just your opinion. Dating someone who has the same interests as you isn't overrated, it's normal.
On June 08 2013 20:32 aTnClouD wrote:
You have to learn how to control them emotionally or you will always be viewed as a tool by them.
If that's your view on women no wonder you think that though.
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On June 16 2013 13:52 sambo400 wrote:
It seems like every girl I want doesn't want me, and every girl that wants me, I don't want.
Sigh
It seems like every girl I want doesn't want me, and every girl that I don't want also doesn't want me
Sigh
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Northern Ireland26422 Posts
On June 17 2013 10:45 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2013 10:31 aTnClouD wrote:
Gamer girls are overrated. Not sure how it works out if you are lesbian but they get way too much attention and that's annoying. That's definitely just your opinion. Dating someone who has the same interests as you isn't overrated, it's normal. Show nested quote +On June 08 2013 20:32 aTnClouD wrote:
You have to learn how to control them emotionally or you will always be viewed as a tool by them. If that's your view on women no wonder you think that though.
'Gaming' isn't really an interest though, it's very game-dependent, at least to me. Gaming is such a huge medium with so many titles and so many differing motivations for playing. I for one am really into the competitive side of gaming and the E-sports scene, not a lot of other games of late.
I mean, most people like films, but a lot of people have such differing tastes in films that it doesn't necessarily mean it'll be a point where interest sharing can necessarily occur.
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1019 Posts
lol at all of you rushing to defend gaming as a legitimate hobby. Debating whether it's "legitimate" or not is useless because it's a matter of personal opinion. You may think gaming is constructive while watching TV shows is BS; another person will flip that opinion 180 degrees. It's personal opinion. The truth is, some people think gaming is a waste of time...why you let them affect you makes no sense to me..
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On June 16 2013 23:36 levelping wrote:Show nested quote +On June 16 2013 21:24 goody153 wrote:On June 16 2013 20:47 levelping wrote:
I told a close friend that I like her. She said she'll think about it. She's not a very forthcoming person so I elected that. That said, how should one go about hastening a reply (it's been a few days)? While part of me is content to letting her think, Im not going to wait forever. have faith my brother .. we the same situation right now... and for me its been a month .. she still wont answer me T_T.. im in no position to give advice but im gonna give you the advice that all my friends gave me .. this situation should be dealt with care .. dont stay away .. keep a close distance but dont force her to answer you .. keep the pressure but not too close they tend to be repulsed when they are held on the neck .. you get what i meant right? My good sir, While I certainly hope nothing but the best of fortune in your endeavours, one whole month might just be slightly excessive. Perhaps you should take a more confrontational stance? I am of the opinion that if she does not realize that a decision is expected from her, she will not take any action. After all, she now enjoys your company as a close friend, but none of the commitment that comes with a relationship. Indulging in this might lead to the rather perilous position whereby she only sees you in a commitment-free light. That said, you would be best positioned to know what she is like, and I only make this small comment as a helpful point of consideration. Myself, I would think 2 weeks would be as far as I go. Thereafter I am going to try to ask her for dinner and then invite her to give an answer.
Sir,
I appreciate what your trying to say . Uhm she knows that a decision is expected of her . She just doesn't want to make one and she does not care to make a decision. .. i think it would be wise to follow the "confront her" action although whenever we talk about it she tries to dodges it or ends the conversation about it but we still spend time together since im she is comfortable being with me .. so thank you sir
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