EPTaustralias got a defacto relationship visa which isnt that hard to get honestly and obviously doesnt require you to make a commitment to marriage
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 1043
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8940 Posts
australias got a defacto relationship visa which isnt that hard to get honestly and obviously doesnt require you to make a commitment to marriage | ||
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Zambrah
United States7393 Posts
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Regarding the timer, I sort of agree. She tells me she would drop all the other relationships immediately when I return. But maybe some of you would agree with my impression that it is harder said then done. That's something I wouldn't want to trust. When the others say that you should take a break, I don't think they necessarily mean forever. It's more like, if you're still available after 3 years when you two are living close by, then try start dating again (i think is what they mean). But there is a huge difference between she promising you that after lets say 3 years she would drop all other relationships for you? To be fair, that's a pretty sketchy thing to say. At that point she could have gotten over you and completely fallen for someone else. How realistic is it that she would diss her new love for you? While she might actually delude herself that she will do it in her current state, I think there is about 0% of that happening in reality. | ||
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
On March 19 2019 02:18 Artisreal wrote: Marrying in the US is about as committal as a rental agreement so why not. oh is it different in germany? | ||
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mahrgell
Germany3943 Posts
Yeah, rental agreements are not that easy to end compared to the US, at least for the land lord. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Divorce rate in Germany is 10 to 15%lower than in the US | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18487 Posts
On March 19 2019 02:18 Artisreal wrote: Marrying in the US is about as committal as a rental agreement so why not. Marriage might mean more to individuals than it does to the system. For instance, it means very little to me, but to my fiancé it means a lot. So my proposing and getting married is a big deal, even if as far as I'm concerned there is no functional difference in our relationship. And as far as the state is concerned we we were already a de facto couple, so I don't think much changes at all (maybe for joint home ownership or so, but we don't own a home, so /shrug). As for the "visa abuse" thing: if you are getting married to give your relationship a real go, that is not abuse of the visa system. If you are using the relationship as an excuse to get into the country, and in a few months break up, but don't divorce, and act as if you're still together towards immigration services, then that is obviously abusing the visa system. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On March 18 2019 21:06 papapanda wrote: Hey, thanks everyone! I am way more tolerant with how the whole long distance relationship thing is working out so far, compared to her. But she's also sacrificing committing to this long distance relationship; which is why I also chose to step back a little from my position on open relationships. She wouldn't do something behind my back, and she wants this to work as desperately as I do, so I do think we have the ingredients to make the open relationship work. I kind of wish someone can just slap me with a "Silly, open relationships are awesome... here's why...!" If only it is easy to break up with someone you still love! But if that's what's best for both of us, then I really have to consider it. I think we'd definitely still be something along the lines of "best friend" if we did. Yup, visa problems! We did talk about marriage, but it'd feel like a shotgun marriage. Maybe it's not pragmatic enough, but neither of us could shake the feeling that it'd be the wrong decision to "use" the system like that. Actually, I'd like to go to grad school, so if nothing else that's lined up in the next few years. Professionally I'm not ready to go back to school yet though (financially not ready either). I'll mull it over! Still would love to hear more on people's experiences with long distance or open relationships. Edit: Regarding the timer, I sort of agree. She tells me she would drop all the other relationships immediately when I return. But maybe some of you would agree with my impression that it is harder said then done. I was in a LTR with my gf for 6 months. She never bring up doing other dudes, neither I brought up doing other girls. It was hard at times, we missed each other, but we weren't looking around and trusted each other 100%. Also I guess I'm old fashioned because my gf doing other people is a deal breaker. Historically, Men went to war or other voyagues for YEARS and their woman weren't doing other dudes in town because they "felt lonely", even though sometimes they weren't even sure the dude was still alive. I think people have gotten too cynical; if she can't wait for you wathever it takes because you have to basically go to war (you can't die, but have to forcefully relocate), then there is no real love and find someone else. | ||
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mahrgell
Germany3943 Posts
On March 19 2019 03:07 GoTuNk! wrote: Historically, Men went to war or other voyagues for YEARS and their woman weren't doing other dudes in town because they "felt lonely", even though sometimes they weren't even sure the dude was still alive. I think people have gotten too cynical; if she can't wait for you wathever it takes because you have to basically go to war (you can't die, but have to forcefully relocate), then there is no real love and find someone else. source? | ||
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
WWII, WWI, or however back you want to go in history (I'm sure there were exceptions) | ||
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Ryzel
United States568 Posts
On March 19 2019 21:42 GoTuNk! wrote: WWII, WWI, or however back you want to go in history (I'm sure there were exceptions) I think he’s looking more for actual statistics on how many wives/girlfriends were actually faithful while husbands/boyfriends were away at wars/voyages...which of course is bullshit because only a small percentage of women who were unfaithful will report so. TLDR; there’s no way any evidence other than anecdotal exists to back up your claim. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
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Harris1st
Germany7437 Posts
Because there weren't any dudes to do, cause they were at war as well?  Can't cheat if there is no opportunity to do so | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On March 19 2019 23:12 Ryzel wrote: I think he’s looking more for actual statistics on how many wives/girlfriends were actually faithful while husbands/boyfriends were away at wars/voyages...which of course is bullshit because only a small percentage of women who were unfaithful will report so. TLDR; there’s no way any evidence other than anecdotal exists to back up your claim. Asking for statistics on this kind of stuff is just stupidity or thinly veiled trolling. Who cares how many woman stayed faithful percentage wise, many did and that's what you expect from a loving partner. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
I'd also eventually like to move back to Seattle while she never wants to go back. I think my lack of wanting to have kids stem from the following: 1. Being young and having a hard time imagining having kids 2. Lack of free time having kids, affordability 3. No strong desire to have kids at the current time | ||
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SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
On March 20 2019 06:41 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Signing a new lease with the gf the end of this week. I need to bring up the kids issue again before we have a 12 month lease together. Currently I'm on the fence with kids when she wants to be a full-time sahm with three kids. I'm closer to 1 maybe in a couple of years and if that goes very very well maybe maybe 2... I'll be turning 25 and she 24 for context. I'd also eventually like to move back to Seattle while she never wants to go back. I think my lack of wanting to have kids stem from the following: 1. Being young and having a hard time imagining having kids 2. Lack of free time having kids, affordability 3. No strong desire to have kids at the current time Is there a lot of pressure from her on to you to have kids? She clearly wants children as you stated but is she pressuring you about it? | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8940 Posts
On March 20 2019 06:41 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Signing a new lease with the gf the end of this week. I need to bring up the kids issue again before we have a 12 month lease together. Currently I'm on the fence with kids when she wants to be a full-time sahm with three kids. I'm closer to 1 maybe in a couple of years and if that goes very very well maybe maybe 2... I'll be turning 25 and she 24 for context. I'd also eventually like to move back to Seattle while she never wants to go back. I think my lack of wanting to have kids stem from the following: 1. Being young and having a hard time imagining having kids 2. Lack of free time having kids, affordability 3. No strong desire to have kids at the current time 25? i totally understand your lack of desire to have kids at this point. i know 25 isnt that uncommon an age to have kids; even late if we look at men historically but nowadays having kids before 30 is really fucking hard. lack of maturity is a massive issue, lack of financial security is another issue, and due to the lack of financial security you have a lack of free time to do your own shit because you need to bust your ass at work to make a living. take your time. honestly if your gf is a sensible person i dont see why she couldnt see it from your point of view. its not unusual for people of our generation to get married or have kids in their 30s. some people have kids in their late 30s even because theyre just not ready mentally or financially. the only upside to having kids really early, other than the fact that you spend more of your life with your kids is that your body is in a better physical condition and you cope with fatigue better lol | ||
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