"Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the b all washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez''s scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez''s scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to le ave the course. NOTE: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it."

Discuss.

TeCh)PsylO

United States3552 Posts

October 09 2004 12:15 GMT

O dear, that was hard to get through. Geaze...

RushTHElarvA

449 Posts

October 09 2004 12:15 GMT

haha, wat the hell?....im pretty sure that Sanchez guy is gonna be sore with his friend for a while...

Jamers

Israel1327 Posts

October 09 2004 12:16 GMT

Ya me and my package got pretty close while reading that.

Abang_Zealot

Indonesia866 Posts

October 09 2004 12:17 GMT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!~~~
OUOOOUUUUUUCH...............
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

What the hell is this.................. even if it's fake ..... - -;;;
I can't imagine anyone not dying from this...... O_O

Jamers

Israel1327 Posts

October 09 2004 12:18 GMT

I doubt it's fake, it's from the Darwin Awards site, and they usually research stuff.

eternalbliss

United States1035 Posts

October 09 2004 12:20 GMT

heard that along time ago, but that guy is a fucking retard

karelen

Sweden2407 Posts

October 09 2004 12:22 GMT

thats just a.. well.. ehrm.. painful read..

Deleted User 3420

24492 Posts

October 09 2004 12:27 GMT

ive got the book
lol

baal

10540 Posts

October 09 2004 12:28 GMT

#10

my godness

Hautamaki

Canada1311 Posts

October 09 2004 12:40 GMT

#11

don't dangle your junk in ball washers. Does this need to be put on a sign in every golf course?

FunFluffyBunny

Sweden1696 Posts

October 10 2004 01:03 GMT

#12

I believe this is the second time they've "awarded" someone that didn't die. I've read one where this guy was trying to steal a lobster and decided to try to sneak them out in his pants. When he was about to exit the store he passed out from pain since the lobsters had cut his balls clean of.

pheered.user

United States2603 Posts

October 10 2004 01:10 GMT

#13

i think my balls hid in my stomach while i read that seriously, it was all i could do to read that.

STIMEY d okgm fish

Canada6140 Posts

October 10 2004 02:55 GMT

#14

deez nutz...

why do u all care about ur balls so much? u want to get girls pregnant? u want to get cancer of the ass? no? well remove 'em. u ve had enough hormonez. snip snip.

pheered.user

United States2603 Posts

October 10 2004 03:03 GMT

#15

stimey i think its our natural instincts to protect our balls more than any other object on our body because they are what we have to have to pass on our genes and in the real life all we are here for is to pass on genes not live a glamorous life.

STIMEY d okgm fish

Canada6140 Posts

October 10 2004 03:05 GMT

#16

its ur natural instnact to smash things and drag women by the hair too, i dont see anyone doing that now do i? i dont see u running around hunting and gathering either. ur not a naturalist, u have a brain, so dont be silly. odds are ur genes dont matter, and are insignificant. if u really care about ur genes being passed on uve been fooled

Roman

United States2595 Posts

October 10 2004 11:06 GMT

#17

On October 10 2004 11:55 STIMEY d okgm fish wrote:
deez nutz...

why do u all care about ur balls so much? u want to get girls pregnant? u want to get cancer of the ass? no? well remove 'em. u ve had enough hormonez. snip snip.

mystery solved.

As for the original post, I think that that is by far the dumbest thing ive ever heard someone do. Where can I find more of these "Darwin awards"?

karelen

Sweden2407 Posts

October 10 2004 11:16 GMT

#18

On October 10 2004 20:06 Roman wrote:

Show nested quote +

mystery solved.

As for the original post, I think that that is by far the dumbest thing ive ever heard someone do. Where can I find more of these "Darwin awards"?

its called G-O-O-G-L-E, try it now