EPTMy name is Adam. I'm the retard that created/maintained Zia's persona online. Someone said I'm 23, but I'm 22. I turn 23 in October. Technically, November 1, but I tortured my mom through Halloween before I was born, so that's what we celebrate it on. I go to school at Chattanooga State Technical Community College (because I'm too poor at the moment to afford the University I want). I'm a journalism major, formerly psychology. I'm taking a break from school at the moment in order to persue a new job and move out with 3 of my friends. I really am the final fantasy geek and metal nerd I made Zia out to be. I am a guitarist/bassist, but not quite as good as I made her out to be. I recently acquired a very expensive GuitarRig program though, so sooner or later, those of you who were interested can hear my material. For those of you who don't care ... sorry you had to read those lines. Anyways, I'm about to get a job at T-Mobile, making enough money to hopefully pull me out of debt for school and bills, where I'll be working 40+ hours a week (well at least I'm praying for overtime). I'll be working as a customer service representative because hey, I know how to work people. I lead a rather normal but boring life. There's nothing particularly exciting about it.
Why did I create Zia? What was the purpose behind it? What fueled me? Why in the world would I go out of my way to do something like this? Well ... the answer is pretty boring. Depression. Extreme depression. In my case, depression fuels creativity. The majority of you will admit that Zia was too good to be true. A lot of people would say the same thing about God. I'm, in no way, comparing Zia to God, so I'm sorry for the horrible analogy, but it's all I could think of at the moment. She was created in January of 2001 (I think), so I was 17 years old then. Her life was modeled after several different people and 2 different things. The picture (listen closely Rek/Baal) is my real life friend who wishes to remain nameless. Yes, she knew I was doing this and just thought it was funny and silly. Several people contributed to her uniqueness in several different ways (some of those people are still unaware), but I was in direct control of her, her development, her background, her attitude, etc. A lot of her character development, background, and attitude was based on real life events, but honestly, a lot of it was bullshit because I thought I was slick enough to tie in some impossible scenarios and make them work. Not slick enough apparantly.
But don't look at me as an animal or a heartless creep. I'm really not. Seeking attention when you're depressed is human nature. It's how we work. Some of us seek it in a much more extreme way. Some of us just do strange things for no reason at all. Some of us don't even do it for attention, but for other purposes. I'm not saying I just desperately wanted attention and that's the sole reason why I kept her around, but I should definitely say that's part of it. Other people do crazy things when they get into certain mindsets or situations. Even our good friend Manifesto7:
Trevor - Manifesto7 says:
Trevor - Manifesto7 says:
i can, but you have to understand it was never a fair "fight" between you and me
Trevor - Manifesto7 says:
did you know I once posed as a girl on the internet
Trevor - Manifesto7 says:
and used the rape story too?
Trevor - Manifesto7 says:
first year psychology paper
His reasoning was different and his longevity was different, and that may very well be all the difference in the world to most of you, but to those of you who are exclusively focused on the gender bending idea, could you really think low of Mani7 right now? I certainly hope not.
For that matter, I could really knock on some posters, admins, and big-named players. This is not a threat in any way, so please do not take it as such, but those of you who know who you are, you know you've done/said things just as sick and beyond. I'm not trying to use this to justify my actions in any way, and I'm not trying to put the spotlight on others for their mistakes.
But anyways, I'm going to start out fresh. I do wish to continue posting on tl.net because I love the community, regardless of my extreme criticism. I'm sure no one will take me in, but I'm here anyways. I haven't decided exactly what I'm going to do yet, but whatever it is, it won't include messing with anyone's heads. You'll just get simple plain boring Adam. I have made my rounds of apologies, and I'm sure I've missed some people. I was going to completely change my msn, but a lot of people seem to want to keep contact with me. Since that's the case, I've decided not to change it. Therefore, if any of you wish to maintain contact with me or gain a new acquaintance (I guess the 2nd would be the most appropriate for the situation), PM me and I will give you msn. I am genuinely sorry for the deception, and I know that in some cases, there will never be enough apologies or long threads to make up for it.
