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My brother was like STOP USING TL USE BLOGGER. So, as a test, I copy pasted my first blog entry into blogger. Its been ten hours and no views.. Blogger may be a good idea once people subscribe but until then TL is the way to go, because I want people to actually read my blog and comment.
Today is official boyfriend description day thing(so scientific, I know). So, I'm going to describe my (gay) boyfriend. (I didn't think it was necesarry to say this until now, since someone failed, but I'm gay. Which means I'm male.
Before he was my boyfriend he was my best friend. Hunter(and yes that is his name) has been my friend since sixth grade. He's shorter than me by a bit, and his hair is just amazing(ly greasy sometimes). It all comes out from basically a central point so more or less if he doesn't do anything to it it looks ok. I've never seen his hair any other way. Its greasy most of the time, so if he just shakes his head it all falls perfectly back in place. Its getting pretty bad grease wise, its hella greasy and its causing his acne to go mad. He's quite a bookworm which is annoying because I have to wake him up to talk to him. Half the time he goes back to reading. He's also a boy scout. Which makes his room a REALLY weird place to be. There's a whole wikipedia article about boyscouts and conflicts with gays. And his walls are plastered in photos and other boy scout pictures. And he has the scout credo on his wall. Supposedly he's bisexual, personally, I'm not completely convinced. But whatever.
Relationship wise, things are... awkward beyond belief. I'm the submissive half while he's the aggressive half, despite you would swear it was the other way around. It gets a bit annoying that despite the fact that whenever I'm with him alone I have to practically push him off, otherwise there is nothing going on between us. He toned down his horny remarks and now there's nothing. I feel kind of alone right now, because he's of at boy scout camp for the week. I really miss him a lot. I have no idea why I love the guy, half the time he's pushing me away, occasionally practically smothering me in love, and otherwise ignoring me.
In other new, his father knows something is up. Do I care? Not really. Will Hunter care... oh god yes. Supposedly his parents can't take gays. His father is on his facebook account right now. I know its him because my friend is at camp (which is true, another guy in his troop told me the same thing).I've warned him he'll have to tell his parents eventually, and he'll have to tell them about us, but he insists everything will turn out fine.We'll have to see, but I'm pretty sure his parents are lying to him about stuff. His father works for, bayer a company that is having severe money problems, and is randomly shutting down factories to evade tax laws... RIGHT.
We'll have to see how it goes once he gets back. He's been feeling pretty down lately, since his father is on a business trip this summer, and they're very close. Hopefully, we can get together again. Because regardless of what I think of him, I still love him.
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On June 15 2011 09:58 Zim23 wrote:
How old are you?
lolz
User was warned for this post
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Here's me every time a girl tells me she's been best friends with her boyfriend since she was little:
"Oh..."
Here's me when her boyfriend starts doing crack (inevitably) and complains:
"You should probably leave him."
"I know, but he's my best friend!"
"Oh..."
Well, hopefully your boyfriend doesn't start doing crack.
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On June 15 2011 10:09 Chef wrote:
Here's me every time a girl tells me she's been best friends with her boyfriend since she was little:
"Oh..."
Here's me when her boyfriend starts doing crack (inevitably) and complains:
"You should probably leave him."
"I know, but he's my best friend!"
"Oh..."
Well, hopefully your boyfriend doesn't start doing crack.
Isn't OP a boy?
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On June 15 2011 10:17 ch33psh33p wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 10:09 Chef wrote:
Here's me every time a girl tells me she's been best friends with her boyfriend since she was little:
"Oh..."
Here's me when her boyfriend starts doing crack (inevitably) and complains:
"You should probably leave him."
"I know, but he's my best friend!"
"Oh..."
Well, hopefully your boyfriend doesn't start doing crack. Isn't OP a boy?
FAILURE. Let me edit in I'm gay for people who are skimming. Um not really. But I'll make this more clear. I'm gay. And I'm a freshman next year.
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On June 15 2011 10:27 Aqueos wrote:
FAILURE. Let me edit in I'm gay for you ignorant people. Um not really. But I'll make this more clear. I'm gay. And I'm a freshman next year.
So 13-14 right? Yeah.
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You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird.
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On June 15 2011 10:31 Aqueos wrote:
You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird.
You're 14, I highly doubt you know what you are, let alone what you want.
My advice? Relax on all this relationship stuff until you're older, I know it's probably common advice, but it's the truth.
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On June 15 2011 10:50 TadH wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 10:31 Aqueos wrote:
You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird. You're 14, I highly doubt you know what you are, let alone what you want. My advice? Relax on all this relationship stuff until you're older, I know it's probably common advice, but it's the truth.
gay people know they are gay from a very young age.
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On June 15 2011 10:50 TadH wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 10:31 Aqueos wrote:
You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird. You're 14, I highly doubt you know what you are, let alone what you want. My advice? Relax on all this relationship stuff until you're older, I know it's probably common advice, but it's the truth.
Yeah, it has been forced on me in a way. It might be a good idea to dump him and be on my way. I need to think this over more. I'm pretty sure I felt love though. We'll have to see. (Though I have been having gay sexual dreams O.o)
On June 15 2011 10:59 Coagulation wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 10:50 TadH wrote:On June 15 2011 10:31 Aqueos wrote:
You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird. You're 14, I highly doubt you know what you are, let alone what you want. My advice? Relax on all this relationship stuff until you're older, I know it's probably common advice, but it's the truth. gay people know they are gay from a very young age.
I've heard that too. So more or less its me listening to the straight and then gay factions. Seriously, it would be nice to know when people normally find out. Based on stuff I read when I was trying to figure this out, eighth grade to tenth grade seems to be the general range. Any longer and you basically rejected who you are/
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well gl on everything Aquenos, just be sure not to pressure your bf into outing himself as much because that should be something that he chooses to do. You both are still young so maybe for him, it will take a bit longer to figure things out, so until then, just be safe.
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Ehh yeah. I should pressure him less.
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On June 15 2011 11:07 Masamune wrote:
well gl on everything Aquenos, just be sure not to pressure your bf into outing himself as much because that should be something that he chooses to do. You both are still young so maybe for him, it will take a bit longer to figure things out, so until then, just be safe.
At the same time, I think Aquenos would definitely be justified in breaking up with his BF if his BF doesn't want to be out.
Having a relationship with someone who can never display any amount of affection or closeness towards except in complete privacy sounds pretty damn terrible.
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On June 15 2011 10:59 Coagulation wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 10:50 TadH wrote:On June 15 2011 10:31 Aqueos wrote:
You lose. High school. And 14. I wouldn't be so sure about the whole gay bit, but I've always acted gay, all my relationships with girls never managed to get to a girlfriend level(because I just felt awkward, because it seemed there was nowhere to go), and everyone and their mother think's I'm gay, and I just fell in love with a guy. If that's not proof, I'm not sure what is. Though really, in standard relationships, I'm really the "girl" in this, since I'm kind of the prize to be won. Which is weird. You're 14, I highly doubt you know what you are, let alone what you want. My advice? Relax on all this relationship stuff until you're older, I know it's probably common advice, but it's the truth. gay people know they are gay from a very young age.
Actually sexual preference is probably more scaled then most people think. Just because you are attracted to men doesn't mean that you are gay, bisexualism is fairly common. It is also something some people are just curious about, so it is not necessarily true that you know you're gay and that is that.
Being a teenager sucks. Trying to find your place in the world is never fun and throwing in raging hormones and confusion around sexuality it is no surprise that his boyfriend is having trouble coming out.
On June 15 2011 10:59 Aqueos wrote:
I've heard that too. So more or less its me listening to the straight and then gay factions. Seriously, it would be nice to know when people normally find out. Based on stuff I read when I was trying to figure this out, eighth grade to tenth grade seems to be the general range. Any longer and you basically rejected who you are/
This is not only to do with sexuality, teenagers are also confronting independence and rebellion from their parents. Even straight guys have issues with identity, sexual preference adds more confusion. I would suggest giving the boy time. It is his choice to come out or not and pressuring him does nothing but make him feel more alone. You know his secret and he is allowing you to see who he really is, that is special.
If you are going to dump him be careful and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.
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wait, how exactly does someone know they are gay? (serious question)
Do they look at guys and are aroused? And no temptations when looking at girls?
I would like to know, not that I'm leaning towards that aspect, but how does one's experiences lead up to suddenly feeling something like that? o_o
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On June 15 2011 12:08 itachisan wrote:
wait, how exactly does someone know they are gay? (serious question)
Do they look at guys and are aroused? And no temptations when looking at girls?
I would like to know, not that I'm leaning towards that aspect, but how does one's experiences lead up to suddenly feeling something like that? o_o
Well, I was awakened by my friend being sexually aroused by me, then physically groping me. Odd story. First blog entry, named my life unravels explains it.
First of all, I am aroused by guys (though its difficult, since skimpy clothing and guys mix like oil and water.) However, its not always, similar to how if you look at a girl, ninety nine percent of the time your fine. There are no temptations when looking at girls, similar to how if you look at a guy, you're fine. I fortunately, seem to have taken the short cut path to finding out. Most guys have to struggle to figure this out, while I was more or less broadsided, and figure it out in three days. It took about that time until now for me to start to get used to it. As for know, its more of a figure out. I seriously believe its genetic, since I can't think of a single person who would want to be gay on purpose. More or less, its more of a discovery that you don't really fit the norm. Its hard to put in words, though that trapped in a closet thing is pretty similar. In my opinion you don't only come out to people around you. You come out to yourself.
On June 15 2011 11:21 APurpleCow wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 11:07 Masamune wrote:
well gl on everything Aquenos, just be sure not to pressure your bf into outing himself as much because that should be something that he chooses to do. You both are still young so maybe for him, it will take a bit longer to figure things out, so until then, just be safe. At the same time, I think Aquenos would definitely be justified in breaking up with his BF if his BF doesn't want to be out. Having a relationship with someone who can never display any amount of affection or closeness towards except in complete privacy sounds pretty damn terrible.
It is. On the other hand, most gay guys don't even have a boyfriend till after college, so in that regard I'm lucky. Even though there might be a gay sitting seats from you, you'd have to know, or be attracted to each other to the point of insanity to have a relationship spring up. Its easier to stay in a closet. But then you're stuck in a closet.
User was banned for this post.
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On June 15 2011 12:08 itachisan wrote:
wait, how exactly does someone know they are gay? (serious question)
Do they look at guys and are aroused? And no temptations when looking at girls?
Many of my gay friends describe having that experience. Of course, there are also people who are straight-leaning bisexuals who have a strong attraction to someone of the same sex once in a while but not as a rule.
Like one of the previous posters said, there is a scale, and probably a pretty broad one. You don't necessarily need to rush to slap a label on yourself unless it feels like the right choice to make. Many people do just because they're pretty certain how they feel about it, but that's not the only way to approach it.
Edit: For the OP, the most important thing is that you recognize that your friend may have no clue where he is on that spectrum. I'd say it's valuable to give him space to decide without pushing him to declare where he stands to his family, or, for that matter, to you.
I have a good female friend who fell in love with a lesbian woman in college -- their relationship went from experimentation to a committed thing, and they wound up married (no, not legally, but they did have a ceremony attended by their friends and their families, and they made a commitment.) They were very close and for a long time it went quite well.
Several years later, they broke up, and my friend wound up dating and then marrying a man with whom we went to college. They just had their first child.
My point being, to this day (and she's in her late 30s) she's never felt like committing, within herself, to be gay or straight for life was a meaningful choice to make. She's made her choices based on her emotional connections and what worked for her.
Hope that helps a little bit to put things in perspective. Bottom line is: best thing you can do for your friend is to accept him however he wants to be. That might change over the short or long term. For yourself, I'd prepare yourself for a recognition that he may make choices that don't line up with your desires or interests, and decide how much you can accept that.
Edit 2: Your comment that you don't quite believe him when he says he's bisexual is a common reaction, but what you need to understand is that people, particularly men, who are bisexual hear that all the time, from gay and straight people. There's a presumption that bisexual men are just not yet ready to admit that they're gay, and it's an unsupportive and ultimately probably harmful attitude that they get from pretty much everyone.
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On June 15 2011 12:18 Aqueos wrote:
It is. On the other hand, most gay guys don't even have a boyfriend till after college, so in that regard I'm lucky. Even though there might be a gay sitting seats from you, you'd have to know, or be attracted to each other to the point of insanity to have a relationship spring up. Its easier to stay in a closet. But then you're stuck in a closet.
Where did you get THAT statistic?! When you move away from home you tend to let a lot of things slip - hiding your sexuality tends to be one of them. I worked in a freshman (in college) hall for years and without fail no less than 5 people were out of the closet very soon into college life. Sure, there are plenty who wait a while, and some come out to a few people and keep the rest quiet. It all depends on the atmosphere, really. I was in Michigan for undergrad and the general consensus was very accepting. Now I'm in grad school in Louisiana and it is a lot less so. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of any of my gay or lesbian friends that didn't date someone in college, but I guess it depends on the area, availability of singles, etc.
I was going to originally comment on how your "relationship" sounds like a bunch of hormone-crazed middle schoolers going at each other when their parents aren't home. And then I saw your age and realized that this is probably closer to the truth. Maturity is perhaps too much to ask of a 14-year-old (and yes, both parties need this trait), so you're probably doomed to have the thing fizzle out or explode. When it all comes down to it - have fun, be safe, and don't do anything stupid!
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On June 15 2011 12:37 Lysenko wrote:
Like one of the previous posters said, there is a scale, and probably a pretty broad one. You don't necessarily need to rush to slap a label on yourself unless it feels like the right choice to make. Many people do just because they're pretty certain how they feel about it, but that's not the only way to approach it.
I had a friend several years ago who came out as bisexual. In her 'coming out' one of the things she did was talk to a priest. She described how she threw the label on herself because she was attracted to some girls and felt it was right. The priest then surprised her by stating that sexuality was a lot less black and white than people make it seem and that "no one is 100% of anything".
That's how my ex-girlfriend was, too. She came out as bisexual 6 months before we met. She said she was attracted to girls, but besides making out with a few of them at parties it went nowhere. Shortly after breaking up she dated a lesbian for a couple of weeks, but that essentially went nowhere and she wound up with another guy a month later. Sometimes I wondered if she called herself bisexual for the attention, but there were times where she seemed to have the genuine desire.
Funny story: I went out of town about 5 weeks after we started dating. It was the first time we'd been apart for a single night, let alone several days. I got a text message the second night saying she was drunk at a party and wanted to kiss a female friend to prove a point. While some guys would scream "JACKPOT!" part of it didn't feel right. I mean, we're both attracted to women, but if I acted on it then I would be cheating, so I told her I wasn't comfortable with the idea. She complained, so out of nowhere I think up a GENIUS compromise: You can make out with any girl you want, but that means I get to make out with her right after you!
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On June 15 2011 12:44 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 12:18 Aqueos wrote:
It is. On the other hand, most gay guys don't even have a boyfriend till after college, so in that regard I'm lucky. Even though there might be a gay sitting seats from you, you'd have to know, or be attracted to each other to the point of insanity to have a relationship spring up. Its easier to stay in a closet. But then you're stuck in a closet. Where did you get THAT statistic?! When you move away from home you tend to let a lot of things slip - hiding your sexuality tends to be one of them. I worked in a freshman (in college) hall for years and without fail no less than 5 people were out of the closet very soon into college life. Sure, there are plenty who wait a while, and some come out to a few people and keep the rest quiet. It all depends on the atmosphere, really. I was in Michigan for undergrad and the general consensus was very accepting. Now I'm in grad school in Louisiana and it is a lot less so. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of any of my gay or lesbian friends that didn't date someone in college, but I guess it depends on the area, availability of singles, etc. I was going to originally comment on how your "relationship" sounds like a bunch of hormone-crazed middle schoolers going at each other when their parents aren't home. And then I saw your age and realized that this is probably closer to the truth. Maturity is perhaps too much to ask of a 14-year-old (and yes, both parties need this trait), so you're probably doomed to have the thing fizzle out or explode. When it all comes down to it - have fun, be safe, and don't do anything stupid!
I meant during sorry. I was going to write till after high school, but I decided during college was a better way to put it. And yup thats what it is. Though ummm thats what I've predicted as well. I am desperately trying to avoid stupid, while he kinda forces it upon me. But raging hormones don't make resisting him easy. I'd say its only a relationship because... well that's about as close as I've been able to get.
On June 15 2011 12:37 Lysenko wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2011 12:08 itachisan wrote:
wait, how exactly does someone know they are gay? (serious question)
Do they look at guys and are aroused? And no temptations when looking at girls? Many of my gay friends describe having that experience. Of course, there are also people who are straight-leaning bisexuals who have a strong attraction to someone of the same sex once in a while but not as a rule. Like one of the previous posters said, there is a scale, and probably a pretty broad one. You don't necessarily need to rush to slap a label on yourself unless it feels like the right choice to make. Many people do just because they're pretty certain how they feel about it, but that's not the only way to approach it. Edit: For the OP, the most important thing is that you recognize that your friend may have no clue where he is on that spectrum. I'd say it's valuable to give him space to decide without pushing him to declare where he stands to his family, or, for that matter, to you. I have a good female friend who fell in love with a lesbian woman in college -- their relationship went from experimentation to a committed thing, and they wound up married (no, not legally, but they did have a ceremony attended by their friends and their families, and they made a commitment.) They were very close and for a long time it went quite well. Several years later, they broke up, and my friend wound up dating and then marrying a man with whom we went to college. They just had their first child. My point being, to this day (and she's in her late 30s) she's never felt like committing, within herself, to be gay or straight for life was a meaningful choice to make. She's made her choices based on her emotional connections and what worked for her. Hope that helps a little bit to put things in perspective. Bottom line is: best thing you can do for your friend is to accept him however he wants to be. That might change over the short or long term. For yourself, I'd prepare yourself for a recognition that he may make choices that don't line up with your desires or interests, and decide how much you can accept that. Edit 2: Your comment that you don't quite believe him when he says he's bisexual is a common reaction, but what you need to understand is that people, particularly men, who are bisexual hear that all the time, from gay and straight people. There's a presumption that bisexual men are just not yet ready to admit that they're gay, and it's an unsupportive and ultimately probably harmful attitude that they get from pretty much everyone.
I should really. And I should stop slapping labels on myself. The main reason I'm kind of keen to do is the reaction from most wouldn't exist. Most people think I'm gay to begin with, so I'd probably get a I told you so and nothing more.
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Calgary26003 Posts
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