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The Final Debate

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Post a Reply
Brotkrumen
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany193 Posts
April 22 2011 11:09 GMT
#1
Dear Liquids,

I today come before you to solve the greatest controversy that has plagued mankind since the invention of papyrus:

[image loading]

As can be seen here, common wisdom is, that the paper should "flow" over the body of the roll "as a waterfall would". This would increase "tissue viewage" and decrease the "spilled paper on the floor" effect. Of course these issues have to be considered when coming to a conclusion and are in fact great advantages when it comes to toilet paper.

I shall propose a more pragmatic approach though:
I claim that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who are ardent supporters of the "over-the-top" mentality and those who do not care, the egalitarians.

Those "over-the-toppers" make a normative claim: as per all its advantages, one ought exert great care and attention to always have the toilet paper the right way. They train themselves to pay attention to where the paper is and shun no effort to make the egalitarians act according to their normative views.

Now, egalitarians are in a difficult position: they can defend the egality of both paper ways of life, as many of them chose to do despite the fact that they do not care, or they can just do as the toppers want to avoid social unrest.

I argue though, that they should stay true to their egalitarian principles for one simple reason: The time the brain needs to use to compute all the difficult manipulation of your average toilet roll to put it just the right way is wasted.
Potentially, this split second of our lives, could be the exact moment such an egalitarian makes the first decision, or has the first idea, to solve the energy crisis, save the environment and/or cure cancer.
If by social pressure his mind is occupied with the wasteful business of toilet paper placement, he will not have that idea or decide to go this or that way in life. A great savior and hero of mankind has been literally extinguished from our midst.
By this reasoning, those who make the claim that over-the-top should always be the style of paper hanging, must accept that they value this over the cure of cancer and aids, the environment and our wealth.

Of course, ardently toppers will now claim that the egalitarians that fight for the right to have the paper go under are also wasting time, time that could be spent saving humanity and surely if only the toppers were fighting it would be preferable in net brain power terms for the egalitarians not to fight.
But, I say, if those heroic egalitarians do not fight the good fight, those few toppers will always suppress all egalitarians. If only a few egalitarians fight, they provide the freedom for the majority of non-fighting egalitarians to spend their brainpower to save humanity.

I now conclude, that there should be no attention paid to what style the toilet paper is arranged in accordance to or else we all have to suffer the consequences.

Egalitarians, fight the good fight. All others, save us.
frontline
Profile Joined July 2010
United States57 Posts
April 22 2011 11:15 GMT
#2
I'm guessing I am an egalitarian since I don't even look at the toilet paper until I have to wipe.



Was it actually necessary to make a thread about such a pointless topic ?
Daigomi
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
South Africa4316 Posts
April 22 2011 11:18 GMT
#3
On April 22 2011 20:15 frontline wrote:
I'm guessing I am an egalitarian since I don't even look at the toilet paper until I have to wipe.



Was it actually necessary to make a thread about such a pointless topic ?

There's a very long thread on this topic already, which is also why I closed this one.
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