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A genie grants you one wish but... - Page 26

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GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
February 06 2011 07:45 GMT
#501
On February 06 2011 16:39 Muntock wrote:
I WISH TO DIE IMMEDIATELY

Someone else resolved that earlier, you die for 15 seconds (full cardiac arrest is essentially death), wake up to discover you are in a coma but fully physically conscious and in agonizing pain, this goes on for a good 30-40 years.
Moderator
GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-06 07:49:45
February 06 2011 07:47 GMT
#502
On February 06 2011 15:39 The_LiNk wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


I wish to replace boxer and the two others males with myself.


Granted, have fun being trapped in a 2 dimensional picture for all eternity

EDIT: in retrospect there is an edit button, apologies for triple posting, I forgot I could do this after spending too long in the mafia subforum
Moderator
thekibk
Profile Joined April 2010
United States116 Posts
February 06 2011 07:47 GMT
#503
On February 06 2011 16:19 Karliath wrote:
I wish that myself and everyone I love are happy for the rest of our normal, otherwise unaltered lives.


it's hard to make this ironic, so I'll just add a bunch of random crap.

1. He makes you incapable of love, and places you alone in a place, unaffected by the misfortunes of life, so you ar happy.

2. All the people you love become succesful and abandon you, but are happy, while you are a homeless, STD infected, hobo in bronze league, but hey, at least you're happy! Nobody talks to you.

3. He convinces all the governments to nuke each other, and the world ends. Your life wasn't "unaltered directly". w/e. sux fo u. your dead... but happy!
Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!
IKenshinI
Profile Joined April 2010
United States132 Posts
February 06 2011 07:54 GMT
#504
I wish the genie can be happy
A cat is fine too
igotmyown
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States4291 Posts
February 06 2011 07:59 GMT
#505
On February 06 2011 16:47 thekibk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2011 16:19 Karliath wrote:
I wish that myself and everyone I love are happy for the rest of our normal, otherwise unaltered lives.


it's hard to make this ironic, so I'll just add a bunch of random crap.

1. He makes you incapable of love, and places you alone in a place, unaffected by the misfortunes of life, so you ar happy.

2. All the people you love become succesful and abandon you, but are happy, while you are a homeless, STD infected, hobo in bronze league, but hey, at least you're happy! Nobody talks to you.

3. He convinces all the governments to nuke each other, and the world ends. Your life wasn't "unaltered directly". w/e. sux fo u. your dead... but happy!


But he could do #3 with every wish, so it's not really corrupting the wish. You could say it's a given that he'll try to kill/torture everything to make you unhappy regardless of your wish, so the wish is still a relative positive.
Sceptor87
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada266 Posts
February 06 2011 08:01 GMT
#506
My first wish is to wish for the proper 3 wishes that a Genie is supposed to grant. He can quit being a fucking cheapskate.

Then for my first wish of those three I wish that no force at all could interfere with the repercussions of the wishes that I wish for, no matter how powerful it is. I get my wishes and that's it. End of story.

Other than that probably a load of money, say 10 billion, and a lifetime supply of ExtenZe, just for shits and giggles.
Standard,
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
February 06 2011 08:01 GMT
#507
On February 06 2011 16:43 GMarshal wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2011 16:01 d3_crescentia wrote:
I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And... and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?


Of course, your sandwich immediately materializes in the puddle in front of you, this is a puddle of the foulest substances imaginable of course. Also the mustard is poisoned, (thats not a weird surprise, its a regular one)

I'm sad you didn't get that reference.
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
YoungNeil
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada328 Posts
February 06 2011 08:02 GMT
#508
On February 06 2011 16:54 IKenshinI wrote:
I wish the genie can be happy

The genie...dislikes you. He takes measures to make himself happy, at your expense.
GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-06 08:10:21
February 06 2011 08:04 GMT
#509
On February 06 2011 17:01 d3_crescentia wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2011 16:43 GMarshal wrote:
On February 06 2011 16:01 d3_crescentia wrote:
I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And... and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?


Of course, your sandwich immediately materializes in the puddle in front of you, this is a puddle of the foulest substances imaginable of course. Also the mustard is poisoned, (thats not a weird surprise, its a regular one)

I'm sad you didn't get that reference.


I got it (the Simpsons, {Treehouse of Horror I think it was?}) but I felt it was my duty to properly corrupt it anyway

EDIT: Would you have liked it better if I said that the turkey is a little dry?
Moderator
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
February 06 2011 08:12 GMT
#510
i wish to become a human that doesn't lose libido and only fuck the most beautiful women in the planet (I will also detail that they are real beautiful women not trannies) .. now what could go wrong?
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
SpiritoftheTunA
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States20903 Posts
February 06 2011 08:16 GMT
#511
On February 06 2011 17:12 Licmyobelisk wrote:
i wish to become a human that doesn't lose libido and only fuck the most beautiful women in the planet (I will also detail that they are real beautiful women not trannies) .. now what could go wrong?

"only fuck" rather than "fuck only" implies that the only thing you're able to do is fuck women. you die pretty soon of asphyxiation, not being able to breathe.
posting on liquid sites in current year
gongryong
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Korea (South)1430 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-06 08:19:40
February 06 2011 08:19 GMT
#512
[image loading]

Licmyobelisk Philippines. February 06 2011 17:12
i wish to become a human that doesn't lose libido and only fuck the most beautiful women in the planet (I will also detail that they are real beautiful women not trannies) .. now what could go wrong?


BAM! You are a human with unlimited sex appetite. Since I like you, I'll give you a bonus - I'll give you a 15 inch dick and a long life of 100 years more from now. Now you get to fuck all day and all night nonstop all the beautiful women dogs, elephants, cows, hens, rats, geese, spiders, crocodiles, gorrillas, all all other beautiful women animals.
JAEDONG ÜBERBONJWA!
igotmyown
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States4291 Posts
February 06 2011 08:29 GMT
#513
On February 06 2011 17:12 Licmyobelisk wrote:
i wish to become a human that doesn't lose libido and only fuck the most beautiful women in the planet (I will also detail that they are real beautiful women not trannies) .. now what could go wrong?

For the rest of your life, there are only ugly girls around you (they magically move away from a huge radius of you). Since you only fuck the most beautiful women, you can't have sex. Your libido grows exponentially and painfully, worse than the worst blue balls in history.
Moody
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States750 Posts
February 06 2011 08:31 GMT
#514
I wish the Rift Beta would download faster. (I just got my key)
A marine walks into a bar and asks, "Where's the counter?"
peidongyang
Profile Joined January 2009
Canada2084 Posts
February 06 2011 08:34 GMT
#515
INFINITE POWER!!!!
the throws never bothered me anyway
nOia.pod
Profile Joined May 2010
Hungary263 Posts
February 06 2011 08:43 GMT
#516
On February 06 2011 17:31 Moody wrote:
I wish the Rift Beta would download faster. (I just got my key)


Rift beta instantly downloads, but the genie cuts your fingers and you are not able to enter the beta key.
You see? The Drone became an extractor!
thekibk
Profile Joined April 2010
United States116 Posts
February 06 2011 08:47 GMT
#517
On February 06 2011 16:59 igotmyown wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2011 16:47 thekibk wrote:
On February 06 2011 16:19 Karliath wrote:
I wish that myself and everyone I love are happy for the rest of our normal, otherwise unaltered lives.


it's hard to make this ironic, so I'll just add a bunch of random crap.

1. He makes you incapable of love, and places you alone in a place, unaffected by the misfortunes of life, so you ar happy.

2. All the people you love become succesful and abandon you, but are happy, while you are a homeless, STD infected, hobo in bronze league, but hey, at least you're happy! Nobody talks to you.

3. He convinces all the governments to nuke each other, and the world ends. Your life wasn't "unaltered directly". w/e. sux fo u. your dead... but happy!


But he could do #3 with every wish, so it's not really corrupting the wish. You could say it's a given that he'll try to kill/torture everything to make you unhappy regardless of your wish, so the wish is still a relative positive.


yeah I was just being annoying. technically the genie can always find a way to kill you. I don't like when people wish for stuff and say, I can't be harmed. the evil genie is supposed to find ironic deaths.

On February 06 2011 17:01 Sceptor87 wrote:
My first wish is to wish for the proper 3 wishes that a Genie is supposed to grant. He can quit being a fucking cheapskate.

Then for my first wish of those three I wish that no force at all could interfere with the repercussions of the wishes that I wish for, no matter how powerful it is. I get my wishes and that's it. End of story.

Other than that probably a load of money, say 10 billion, and a lifetime supply of ExtenZe, just for shits and giggles.


genie, in 1000 years, will give you your 3 wishes

On February 06 2011 17:12 Licmyobelisk wrote:
i wish to become a human that doesn't lose libido and only fuck the most beautiful women in the planet (I will also detail that they are real beautiful women not trannies) .. now what could go wrong?


1. You are placed on a planet with only men.

2. He turns you into a girl

3. Cuts off your penis.

4. They are beautiful on the inside. (<--stupid)

5. Syphilis? Gonorrhea? etc.

6. He makes you gay.

On February 06 2011 17:34 peidongyang wrote:
INFINITE POWER!!!!


You turn into a meme on the internet. Punishment? not sure if this qualifies. enjoy 4chan!
Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!
Roblin
Profile Joined April 2010
Sweden948 Posts
February 06 2011 08:54 GMT
#518
On February 06 2011 05:04 suxN wrote:
Nnnooo, this thread isnt the same without Roblin.

I wish i had x-ray vision, i wish i wasnt ginger, i wish i was great at basketball, i wish you wouldnt stop posting :C

awww, how cute
wish granted, you now have an extremely powerful x-ray machine replace your eyes, so everyone you look at is sprayed by so much atomic particles they will certainly develop a great number of tumors
your hair can no longer be coloured to any shade of ginger no matter how hard you try and your. natural haircolour is the same colour as baby beel in belzebub, aka, green.
you are now great at basketball, pity you can barely see the field due to your x-ray vision.

I am now posting in this thread, to everyones happiness and despair!.
I'm better today than I was yesterday!
English
Profile Joined April 2010
United States475 Posts
February 06 2011 08:56 GMT
#519
sounds like bedazzled
Roblin
Profile Joined April 2010
Sweden948 Posts
February 06 2011 09:03 GMT
#520
On February 06 2011 05:43 Coutcha wrote:
I wish for something awesome :D you choose genie

breakdown of awesome:
awe-some:
something that one can awe.

the genie thinks: surely everyone must awe the power of the sun, so he gives you a star, it is thirty feet to your right.
I'm better today than I was yesterday!
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