OSL begins on March 31st - Page 5

Okay, so like... Bisu, man. Stomps through his prelims and into the ODT, crushes his group 2-0. Flattens his Ro16 3-0, kills Shine badly somewhere along the line (possibly in ODT and in the groups) before dropping Flash 2-0 in the Ro8. He then mauls Jaedong 3-0 in horribly lopsided games, before advancing to face Killer in the finals. Killer's had a yawn of a tournament, besting names like Soo, Hydra, and EffOrt - it's KvZ, so nobody's really surprised or expecting much.

This is Bisu's OSL, right? The fans show up in droves, everyone's expecting it to happen.

Killer is no Jaedong and he falls easily to a cannon rush in game 1. Bisu even has free time to build a heart out of pylons in the middle of the map.

Onto game 2, and Bisu again shows his supreme prowess at everything ever. He gets so bored that he queues up some dark templars and leaves his booth to arrange an impromptu meeting with his fangirls. Every five minutes or so he briefly retreats back to his booth to queue up some more DTs.

Game three and Killer still doesn't stand a chance. As Bisu orders his units into Killer's base to deliver the killing blow, he hits enter and types GG, and waits. He waits patiently, watching the zealots tear through Killer's defenses, waiting for that moment when he is to be crowned OSL champion. As Killer frantically goes to pull his last 3 drones to kill Bisu's 25 zealots, he notices his mouse isn't working. He types out "pp" and having learned his lesson, he waits for the refs to pause the game. Bisu, hearing the incoming chat noise and seeing the two little characters appear on screen, instantly slams his enter key and leaves the game. He bursts out of his booth triumphantly, as Killer sees "Congratulations! You are victorious!" on his screen. KeSPA rules that Bisu GG'd and left, so Killer was clearly the victory.

Game four is on Blood Bath, and Killer 4pools. Bisu loses ezpz.

Game five, Killer breaks out the dreaded hydra bust. Bisu cannot hold.

An outpouring of rage erupts across the internet as Bisu fans express their displeasure and dismay. Team Liquid is instantly drowned in the shitstorm and goes down. Every attempt to restore the website is immediately swamped in an unceasing torrent of anger. Eventually attempts are given up, and Team Liquid shuts down. In fact, every website shuts down as Bisu fans rage across the entirety of the internet. Meanwhile in Seoul (and, let's face it, everywhere else!) there is rioting in the streets. An angry mob attempts to literally tear Killer apart, but Jaedong arrives just in time to death stare them all away and escort Killer back to the KeSPA house.

The consequences of this new internetless age ripple through society, but fortunately there's still television, and BW does have lan support. Bisu will try again in the next OSL. One unfortunate casualty is that of Jaedong's career, for he now must be present at all official matches as a bodyguard to keep the fans in order. Still, with no internet people suddenly have a lot more free time on their hands to watch StarCraft, and this OSL is eventually heralded as a revitalization of professional Brood War.

In my dreams