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Thank you for changing your argument for the sole purpose of disagreeing with me =\
First you say big words are depressing. Then after I point out an example where big words are not depressing, you say they're not all bad unless they detract from "flow" as someone managed to call it, as if I didn't realize that.
It's late and I'm cranky. Time to go to bed
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BinaryStar, my predicted grades are +40, somewhere 6-7 in English B HL. I guess this discussion won't get any further, thus my suggestion would be to stop write in this thread.
I AM NOT TFEIGN!
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On December 18 2004 02:34 radar14 wrote: Well, "big words" as you call them aren't necessarily bad. If they make you feel inferior that's really your problem. Just look at mensrea's posts...don't tell me you think all his posts are depressing to read.
That said, tfeign's "revisions" aren't great, but it's not because he uses "big words." They're bad because his diction is off. For example, as Faksteve pointed out, "speculate" is not used properly. The word he's probably looking for is "discern." His sentences certainly seem more professional in a glance, but there certainly are glaring mistakes that are obvious to a more critical eye.
And more exasperating than that his arrogance. Really, I think that's what pissing people off even if they don't mention it. Stuff like, "listen to me and you'll ace your presentation." There are only a few people on this site smart enough to say stuff like that seriously (certainly not tfeign or me), and even they never need to say it.
I'll show all the arrogance I want to those who make ignorant posts. In case you haven't yet noticed, I haven't responded to 1 single post which thoughtfully tried to criticize my paragraph. But if you make stupid ignorant posts with the intent to piss me off then seriously 
Here's a classic example:
On December 11 2004 09:31 FrozenArbiter wrote: Yeah tfeign was just showing off xD
Nice try at putting words in my mouth. Congratulations. You earn the gold award for the post with the most obvious intent to piss me off. 
On December 17 2004 16:52 MiniRoman wrote:I think feign made a second account so he can have one person on his side 
On December 17 2004 17:58 Night2o1 wrote:Yah from the first post I saw from grady I was like "Why did tfeign make a new account?"  He talks like him, too.
Stupid ignorant assumptions. Yes? Some people can't accept the idea that there are people who like my style, and has to stoop this low to do it.
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In case you haven't noticed Tfeign, you only replied to his last pragraph, but to the other 2, which held the constructive criticism you value so much, you didn't even care to respond.
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On December 18 2004 14:51 Orome wrote: In case you haven't noticed Tfeign, you only replied to his last pragraph, but to the other 2, which held the constructive criticism you value so much, you didn't even care to respond.
Umm..what exactly do you want me to reply to the posts with constructive criticism? I don't get it. I don't respond as a way to say that I can accept the difference of opinion. There are at least 10 posts with that in this thread, all of which was okay with me. Littered among these, however (as I have specifically pointed out), are posts that attempted to either piss me off or stoop down real low to make an argument that I'm wrong.
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Oh, I misread something, but still, if you're so sure about you style, why not discuss? The majority seems to feel that your version is worse than the original one, but is it not that way? Tell me, I'd like to know.
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I can see where most of these criticisms come from. I'll make a few edits here and there, for ex. as radar14 pointed out, I would choose "discrrn" over "speculate" (you can also say "look" and it won't make a difference) -- as well as others. The errors in figures will be cleared up. But I'd keep the structure as it is. When I present, I'm pretty sure I'm able to make it flow. It's all up to how to the way you talk and express yourself, pause at the right moments, do things to keep the audience interested.
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From your business thread I take it that you're a business man...
If you were talking to managers I'd say your wording would be good (always assuming that you can make it flow, as you state), but in this particular situation:
He's still in school, so assume he's 14-18 or something
I'm 15 myself and I'm the only one in my class who can speak english properly and trust me, when the others talk it just sounds awful...
When you're at that english stage you make mistakes pretty often.
Because you're trying to prevent any mistakes from your side, you keep the language as simple as possible -> You don't use fancy words. You try to keep the sentences as short as possible.
If he uses your version it would be so obvious he got help from another source and that's not going to help him, especially because he won't be able to make such a text flow and it won't sound natural from him.
My opinion...
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That should win the gold award for the most convincing post I've seen so far. The idea behind presentation is to write down a formal presentation, but when you present, never read off what you wrote down. For ex. I may have written those down on paper, but when I present I would never read exactly what I have written down.
I always do presentations over powerpoint. With the written materials posted on the slides, but the actual presentation is always never reading off exactly what is on the slides. But I guess at where he is, this probably won't be the case. If you're not comfortable doing so (as it also seems), a simpler structure is most likely best.
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You still haven't addressed the logical/grammatical inconsistencies and other flat-out wrong choices. I get the feeling you won't be doing that anyway.
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Sweden33723 Posts
On December 18 2004 14:43 tfeign wrote:Show nested quote +On December 18 2004 02:34 radar14 wrote: Well, "big words" as you call them aren't necessarily bad. If they make you feel inferior that's really your problem. Just look at mensrea's posts...don't tell me you think all his posts are depressing to read.
That said, tfeign's "revisions" aren't great, but it's not because he uses "big words." They're bad because his diction is off. For example, as Faksteve pointed out, "speculate" is not used properly. The word he's probably looking for is "discern." His sentences certainly seem more professional in a glance, but there certainly are glaring mistakes that are obvious to a more critical eye.
And more exasperating than that his arrogance. Really, I think that's what pissing people off even if they don't mention it. Stuff like, "listen to me and you'll ace your presentation." There are only a few people on this site smart enough to say stuff like that seriously (certainly not tfeign or me), and even they never need to say it. I'll show all the arrogance I want to those who make ignorant posts. In case you haven't yet noticed, I haven't responded to 1 single post which thoughtfully tried to criticize my paragraph. But if you make stupid ignorant posts with the intent to piss me off then seriously  Here's a classic example: Show nested quote +On December 11 2004 09:31 FrozenArbiter wrote: Yeah tfeign was just showing off xD Nice try at putting words in my mouth. Congratulations. You earn the gold award for the post with the most obvious intent to piss me off.  Show nested quote +On December 17 2004 16:52 MiniRoman wrote:I think feign made a second account so he can have one person on his side  Show nested quote +On December 17 2004 17:58 Night2o1 wrote:Yah from the first post I saw from grady I was like "Why did tfeign make a new account?"  He talks like him, too. Stupid ignorant assumptions. Yes? Some people can't accept the idea that there are people who like my style, and has to stoop this low to do it. No, I thought you were trying to show off .. Because what you wrote was ridiculous --;
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Sweden33723 Posts
Also, yes, some of what he wrote sounds like he was doing a buisness related presentation but other parts just sound fucking ridiculous.
"See if you are able to speculate"
.. He hasn't even replied to this --;; Nor to splinters posts. I mean seriously, the 'replies made to piss you off' came about only when you wouldn't reply to their real posts.
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gl with the paper, my english isnt so great either all the time so i cant help
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17082 Posts
See if you are able to speculate.
No, I'm a stroke victim who's drunk. I am, unfortunately, unable to speculate ;/
Seriosuly, tfeign, I know some elementary school students who know that your definition for "half a billion" is wayyyyy off -_- Please stop trying to show off your mad dictionary skills and please write something that's actually sensible
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On December 19 2004 03:27 FrozenArbiter wrote: Also, yes, some of what he wrote sounds like he was doing a buisness related presentation but other parts just sound fucking ridiculous.
"See if you are able to speculate"
.. He hasn't even replied to this --;; Nor to splinters posts. I mean seriously, the 'replies made to piss you off' came about only when you wouldn't reply to their real posts.
wtf. Have you even bothered to read the thread? I think I'll just quote myself for my sake of time
On December 18 2004 14:51 tfeign wrote: Umm..what exactly do you want me to reply to the posts with constructive criticism? I don't get it. I don't respond as a way to say that I can accept the difference of opinion. There are at least 10 posts with that in this thread, all of which was okay with me. Littered among these, however (as I have specifically pointed out), are posts that attempted to either piss me off or stoop down real low to make an argument that I'm wrong.
On December 19 2004 18:36 This-is-not-a-smurf wrote:See if you are able to speculate. No, I'm a stroke victim who's drunk. I am, unfortunately, unable to speculate ;/ Seriosuly, tfeign, I know some elementary school students who know that your definition for "half a billion" is wayyyyy off -_- Please stop trying to show off your mad dictionary skills and please write something that's actually sensible 
Please stop trying to act smart and actually contribute something new to the thread instead of saying the same shit that has been repeated twenty fucking times?
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We just want you to admit that you suck at writing, that's all.
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Sweden33723 Posts
On December 19 2004 19:23 tfeign wrote:Show nested quote +On December 19 2004 03:27 FrozenArbiter wrote: Also, yes, some of what he wrote sounds like he was doing a buisness related presentation but other parts just sound fucking ridiculous.
"See if you are able to speculate"
.. He hasn't even replied to this --;; Nor to splinters posts. I mean seriously, the 'replies made to piss you off' came about only when you wouldn't reply to their real posts.
wtf. Have you even bothered to read the thread? I think I'll just quote myself for my sake of time Show nested quote +On December 18 2004 14:51 tfeign wrote: Umm..what exactly do you want me to reply to the posts with constructive criticism? I don't get it. I don't respond as a way to say that I can accept the difference of opinion. There are at least 10 posts with that in this thread, all of which was okay with me. Littered among these, however (as I have specifically pointed out), are posts that attempted to either piss me off or stoop down real low to make an argument that I'm wrong. Show nested quote +On December 19 2004 18:36 This-is-not-a-smurf wrote:See if you are able to speculate. No, I'm a stroke victim who's drunk. I am, unfortunately, unable to speculate ;/ Seriosuly, tfeign, I know some elementary school students who know that your definition for "half a billion" is wayyyyy off -_- Please stop trying to show off your mad dictionary skills and please write something that's actually sensible  Please stop trying to act smart and actually contribute something new to the thread instead of saying the same shit that has been repeated twenty fucking times? They obviously didnt' take it that way now did they?
And eh... You don't know how to reply to those posts? You are supposed to argue your cause..
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Sweden33723 Posts
I don't know? Tell them why you are right?
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On December 20 2004 13:08 FrozenArbiter wrote: I don't know? Tell them why you are right?
OMFG. Result of what happens when one fails to read before replying
On December 19 2004 19:23 tfeign wrote:
wtf. Have you even bothered to read the thread? I think I'll just quote myself for my sake of time
On December 18 2004 14:51 tfeign wrote: Umm..what exactly do you want me to reply to the posts with constructive criticism? I don't get it. I don't respond as a way to say that I can accept the difference of opinion. There are at least 10 posts with that in this thread, all of which was okay with me. Littered among these, however (as I have specifically pointed out), are posts that attempted to either piss me off or stoop down real low to make an argument that I'm wrong.
Read and understand
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