EPTHelp revise my texts, "progaming in Korea" - Page 3
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
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IB-Grabo.co
Sweden20 Posts
Moreover, Swedish and most other languages are not like the English language. The most common mistake that Swedes do, trying to express themselves in English is just to translate the Swedish text that they originally wrote. However, this mistake is one of the worst you can do, since the Swedish language is an "unformal" language while English is a "formal" one. Tfeign, you have found yourself a fan, keep up the good work. | ||
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Triton
Canada258 Posts
![[image loading]](http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-12/913059/tfeign.JPG) | ||
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IB-Grabo.co
Sweden20 Posts
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
On December 17 2004 10:19 IB-Grabo.co wrote: I can guarante you guys, that if I had used Tfeign's moderated version in a similar presentation at the International Baccalaureate - diploma program(that I am currently studying at) I would most likely achieve the highest possible grade at that assignment - which is 7 out of 1-7. The level of his writing is excellent and if the rest of you guys cannot appreciate a good text, then that is your problem. Of course I can see why you critize Tfeign's attempts to make the presentation more formal and some of you might think that his use of English and his complex sentence structure is a little bit to complicated, if that is the case, than you just need to improve your English. Moreover, Swedish and most other languages are not like the English language. The most common mistake that Swedes do, trying to express themselves in English is just to translate the Swedish text that they originally wrote. However, this mistake is one of the worst you can do, since the Swedish language is an "unformal" language while English is a "formal" one. Tfeign, you have found yourself a fan, keep up the good work. It is NOT a good text to read to an audience, it is also filled with errors (like the half a billion thing). I'm sure there are situations where his style of writing would fit right in, however, this is not one such situation -_- And like fakesteve pointed out, saying 'see if you are able to speculate' is a horrible sentance since you can't very well fail at speculating. Btw, I think in english, hell, I even translate from english to swedish when I do swedish essays -_- | ||
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
On December 17 2004 12:01 Triton wrote: Ghfdgoishg :D Rofl. Give him VOD access plz :D | ||
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Malmis
Sweden1569 Posts
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Queequeg
Germany263 Posts
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BinaryStar
Afghanistan669 Posts
On December 17 2004 10:19 IB-Grabo.co wrote: I can guarante you guys, that if I had used Tfeign's moderated version in a similar presentation at the International Baccalaureate - diploma program(that I am currently studying at) I would most likely achieve the highest possible grade at that assignment - which is 7 out of 1-7. The level of his writing is excellent and if the rest of you guys cannot appreciate a good text, then that is your problem. Of course I can see why you critize Tfeign's attempts to make the presentation more formal and some of you might think that his use of English and his complex sentence structure is a little bit to complicated, if that is the case, than you just need to improve your English. Moreover, Swedish and most other languages are not like the English language. The most common mistake that Swedes do, trying to express themselves in English is just to translate the Swedish text that they originally wrote. However, this mistake is one of the worst you can do, since the Swedish language is an "unformal" language while English is a "formal" one. Tfeign, you have found yourself a fan, keep up the good work. IB, huh? One question--what were your predicted scores? But to move on to the actual point--tfeign's writing would get hammered by any English teacher. One of the most important things in English is realizing that "less is more." Don't waste words and don't clutter up sentences. Often, tfeign's structure is unnecessarily complex; his word choice awkward; his usage incorrect. I provided some criticisms of his work (a small sample from a large pool), and neither of you have yet to respond: Flowery doesn't necessarily mean obscure diction. The way he had it was concise and simple; the way you have it is unnecessarily long and complex. -"First" is unnecessary. -"Most typical" is redundant. -Your second sentence should be rephrased; it's not very logical. -"..looks quite similar to the environment of a huge pop concert..." --> "looks like a huge pop concert." I'm sure there are situations where his style of writing would fit right in, however, this is not one such situation -_- Maybe if he were writing an essay for the Pseudo-Intellectual Pretentious Achievement Award... | ||
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
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MiniRoman
Canada3953 Posts
Big words are fine if they flow (like FA said) and suit the subject; however, your writing looks like you had a thesaurus add in the longest synonyms possible. Also you don't use transitional words/phrases which are the most vital part of any work written piece. As long as everything flows together the Kyoto Accord can seem to be interesting. | ||
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Casper...
Liberia4948 Posts
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Ace
United States16096 Posts
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Night2o1
315 Posts
 He talks like him, too. No offense of course--killing ahk-gosu was hilarious | ||
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tfeign
United States2980 Posts
 Seriously, On December 17 2004 16:52 MiniRoman wrote: I think feign made a second account so he can have one person on his side  x10Some of you should sit and hear me present this shit. And stop making stupid ignorant assumptions. Yah from the first post I saw from grady I was like "Why did tfeign make a new account?" 1. Read above 2. | ||
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BinaryStar
Afghanistan669 Posts
Some of you should sit and hear me present this shit. And stop making stupid ignorant assumptions. I guess it's harder to notice the grammatical/logical inconsistencies when you don't have the actual writing in front of you. | ||
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Stygg
Sweden1100 Posts
On December 17 2004 16:52 MiniRoman wrote: Big words are fine if they flow (like FA said) and suit the subject; however, your writing looks like you had a thesaurus add in the longest synonyms possible. Agreed. Texts with excessive use of big words are just depressing to read. I'm sure these people would make great politicians, but there's a reason why people in general don't understand what politicians mean when they speak. tfeign, I think you need to get to the point a lot smoother.. | ||
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radar14
United States1437 Posts
That said, tfeign's "revisions" aren't great, but it's not because he uses "big words." They're bad because his diction is off. For example, as Faksteve pointed out, "speculate" is not used properly. The word he's probably looking for is "discern." His sentences certainly seem more professional in a glance, but there certainly are glaring mistakes that are obvious to a more critical eye. And more exasperating than that his arrogance. Really, I think that's what pissing people off even if they don't mention it. Stuff like, "listen to me and you'll ace your presentation." There are only a few people on this site smart enough to say stuff like that seriously (certainly not tfeign or me), and even they never need to say it. | ||
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Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33723 Posts
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Stygg
Sweden1100 Posts
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