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Funny Quotes

Forum Index > Articles
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Normal
Pacifist
Profile Joined October 2003
Israel1683 Posts
December 15 2003 18:38 GMT
#1
anyone know any?
Riding a bike is overrated.
DeoDoubleG
Profile Joined January 2003
Philippines349 Posts
December 15 2003 19:21 GMT
#2
excellent smithers
z7-RaiN
Profile Joined January 2003
United States522 Posts
December 15 2003 19:22 GMT
#3
family guy:

paraody of NYPD Blue:

Sipowitz: are you gonna tell me who did it? or do i have to show you my ass!

guy being interrogated: I don't know who did it.

*sipowitz pulls down his pants and moons the guy

guy being interrogated: OK!!! I'LL TELL YOU!!
PokerStars.com, where dreams come true
DeoDoubleG
Profile Joined January 2003
Philippines349 Posts
December 15 2003 19:25 GMT
#4
heres another family guy:

how many apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

three; one to screw in the lightbult, and two to throw feces at each other.
chobopeon
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States7342 Posts
December 15 2003 19:38 GMT
#5
I dunno, I died when I saw this .. I was blazed, but still. (and it was just on again)

Kyle's cousin moved to South Park, and he's the stereotypical jew. So Kyle pays Cartman 40 bucks to not make fun of him.

All class his cousin is being retarded, and Cartman is shaking holding back.

Finally, his cousin is talking a lot in class. The teacher says "In my class you have to focus, so please stop talking." He says "Sorry, sometimes I have troubles concentrating."

"Maybe we should send him to a concentration camp.. OH SON OF BITCH!"



:O
sux2bme
Profile Joined August 2003
Canada390 Posts
December 15 2003 19:39 GMT
#6
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again
aBnarf
Profile Joined October 2002
Bangladesh314 Posts
December 15 2003 19:43 GMT
#7
friends dont let other friends play bgh
F10 P E S Q! lol
Orlandu
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
China2450 Posts
December 15 2003 19:46 GMT
#8
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


Ha ha I thought was pretty good, cause it's so damn true. Cept, I guarantee you there'd be some kind of American bashing somewhere in there too for some irrelevant reason.
We cant give up just because things arent the way we want them to be.
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 15 2003 19:47 GMT
#9
On December 16 2003 04:38 choboPEon wrote:
I dunno, I died when I saw this .. I was blazed, but still. (and it was just on again)

Kyle's cousin moved to South Park, and he's the stereotypical jew. So Kyle pays Cartman 40 bucks to not make fun of him.

All class his cousin is being retarded, and Cartman is shaking holding back.

Finally, his cousin is talking a lot in class. The teacher says "In my class you have to focus, so please stop talking." He says "Sorry, sometimes I have troubles concentrating."

"Maybe we should send him to a concentration camp.. OH SON OF BITCH!"




omg that is sooooo goood!!!
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
chobopeon
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States7342 Posts
December 15 2003 19:48 GMT
#10
On December 16 2003 04:46 Orlandu wrote:


Ha ha I thought was pretty good, cause it's so damn true. Cept, I guarantee you there'd be some kind of American bashing somewhere in there too for some irrelevant reason.


Yeah, tbh, I was looking for that.
:O
ChildOfBodom
Profile Joined November 2003
Belgium90 Posts
December 15 2003 22:22 GMT
#11
--- Nuked ---
Fuck you and your killing lies. I hate your pissing attitude. Why did you have to go so low?
Ao_Jun
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Denmark396 Posts
December 16 2003 05:49 GMT
#12
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare - Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

- Robert Wilensky
you are one of the least benigtedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
iD.Twisted
Profile Joined September 2002
Netherlands3102 Posts
December 16 2003 05:51 GMT
#13
Not another one of these
All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28665 Posts
December 16 2003 06:22 GMT
#14
ya chobopeon that one was so good my god

cartman is pretty much the entire reason why I watch southpark
Moderator
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 16 2003 06:37 GMT
#15
On December 16 2003 15:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:
ya chobopeon that one was so good my god

cartman is pretty much the entire reason why I watch southpark


Isn't he the reason everyone watches South Park?

If you've seen Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back you might remember this one, and why it's funny: "I don't know what the fuck you just said little kid... but you special, you touched me right here" (Places his fist to his heart).- Tracy Morgan
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
iD.Twisted
Profile Joined September 2002
Netherlands3102 Posts
December 16 2003 07:18 GMT
#16
Terrance and Phillip are also pwetty good ~_~
All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you
Telemako
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Spain1636 Posts
December 16 2003 07:32 GMT
#17
How many DragonBall Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1, but it will last 30 episodes
I've been around since it all started, and it feels good
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36375 Posts
December 16 2003 07:44 GMT
#18
15 to post how changing the lightbulb quicker does not necessarily mean changing it better, as useless unscrewing motions were probably used
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
bigMommA
Profile Joined March 2003
1985 Posts
December 16 2003 07:49 GMT
#19
On December 16 2003 15:22 Liquid`Drone wrote:
ya chobopeon that one was so good my god

cartman is pretty much the entire reason why I watch southpark


butters also my fav char now
lastas
Profile Joined May 2003
Sweden1219 Posts
December 16 2003 07:53 GMT
#20
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


made me lol
gg
Pacifist
Profile Joined October 2003
Israel1683 Posts
December 16 2003 22:43 GMT
#21
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


quite funny! :D
Riding a bike is overrated.
LoZeR-X
Profile Joined December 2003
United States11 Posts
December 16 2003 22:50 GMT
#22
I suppose it depends on if you like to macro or micro your lightbulbs.

Anyway, from the book cyptinomicon by neal stephenson,:

"When you ask a russian to invent a pair of shoes, they come up with something like the box they came in. But when it comes to something that kills germans, its like their Thomas Fucking Edison" - Bobby Shaftoe, A Marine in WW2 describing the wonders of russian araments.
I found that Wgtour is alot like putting your nuts in a vice, except you probably dont come back for more after the vice thing.
InFiNitY[pG]
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Germany3474 Posts
December 17 2003 00:27 GMT
#23
Maybe we should fake an own topic for funny cartman/southpark quotes

Last week i saw the one where they all make fun of Token for being so rich.

Token: "Here, the Lion King DVD"
Kyle: "What, DVD? Noone here has a DVD Player, that's way too new and too expensive."
Stan: "Obviously not for his family"
Cartman: "I'll bring it to the Enteprise and ask Captain Kirk to decode it for me"

Probably not too funny when you read it but i was laughing my ass off when i saw it
"I just pressed stimpack, and somehow I won the battle" -Flash
ZyPhReX
Profile Joined January 2003
1192 Posts
December 17 2003 00:28 GMT
#24
lol
Ghost Me
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
December 17 2003 00:49 GMT
#25
'Ralph how are the berries?'

'They taste like burning.'

Greatest-line-ever
HovZ
Profile Joined December 2002
United States1917 Posts
December 17 2003 00:52 GMT
#26
"im very close to boxer" - Vasmos
"hovz u faggot u probably live at home" - random newbie
"no i live not at home?" - Hovz

the ones in my sig
z7-Rain : D Block is a rly good rapper, cosmo : mobb deep is a rly good rapper, cosmo : that song notorious thugs by bone and andre nickatana is sick
Sliggy
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia797 Posts
December 17 2003 01:09 GMT
#27
"God told me I could either have a very long penis, or a very long memory, and to this day I still don't remember what I said."

- Me
Yes Im back to doing RWA. Most recent one: [GG99]Slayer vs NeO(E)sKy. Gogo http://sliggy.fwtf.com
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
December 17 2003 01:32 GMT
#28
thats actually pretty funny there sliggy
Maul_au
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia29 Posts
December 17 2003 04:22 GMT
#29
IRC quotes

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.


t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

<studdud> what the fuck is wtf

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph


www.bash.org
Your mum
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 17 2003 05:34 GMT
#30
From the last South Park episode:
"I'd rather be a crying pussy, than a faggy goth kid."- Butters
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
AgonyRush
Profile Joined January 2003
United States2540 Posts
December 17 2003 07:28 GMT
#31
bash.org is sooo golden-.-
A team is only as good as its worst lineup
Excalibur_Z
Profile Joined October 2002
United States12235 Posts
December 17 2003 07:39 GMT
#32
On December 16 2003 04:25 DeoDoubleG wrote:
heres another family guy:

how many apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

three; one to screw in the lightbult, and two to throw feces at each other.


I think it's relevant to point out the context of the joke. Peter was saying this while he was on the Planet of the Apes, inside a net, with the apes having guns aimed at him. hahahahah.
Moderator
Taguchi
Profile Joined February 2003
Greece1575 Posts
December 17 2003 07:53 GMT
#33
That was gold sux2bme
Great minds might think alike, but fastest hands rule the day~
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28665 Posts
December 17 2003 08:31 GMT
#34
from futurama

when fry is making an opera for leela

and then leela listens to it before it's done, and fry is like "leela, you shouldnt be listening, I don't want you to hear it until it's done." and then leela is like "but it's so beautiful." and then fry says
"so is a peacock, but you don't eat it until it's cooked"

so good
Moderator
Amnesty
Profile Joined April 2003
United States2054 Posts
December 17 2003 08:49 GMT
#35
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


Lmao each one i read was increasing funnier for some reason.
The sky just is, and goes on and on; and we play all our BW games beneath it.
LoZeR-X
Profile Joined December 2003
United States11 Posts
December 17 2003 09:11 GMT
#36
'I drive a small car to compensate for my large penis'
I found that Wgtour is alot like putting your nuts in a vice, except you probably dont come back for more after the vice thing.
EatTheIvY
Profile Joined December 2003
1 Post
December 17 2003 09:27 GMT
#37
Goth Kids: Kyle drink some coffe.
Kyle: I... I don't drink coffe.
Goth Kids: You can't be a non conformist if you don't drink coffe, Kyle.
Dick
Profile Joined October 2002
United States717 Posts
Last Edited: 2003-12-17 10:56:12
December 17 2003 10:55 GMT
#38
Phoebe Buffay: If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Boxer will be in the US on the 16th - perhaps to give advice to South Korean President Roh, who is on state visit to the US this week, on how to handle any surprise tank pushes by North Koreans
InFiNitY[pG]
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Germany3474 Posts
December 17 2003 11:37 GMT
#39
Fry: I'm glad global warming never happened
Leela: It did, fortunately nuclear winter canceled it out


Cpt Brannigan (after being kicked out of the army): ah Kif(spelling?), it's time to begin the life of civilians
*kif doesnt move*
Brannigan: "Thats an Order, Soldier"


Brannigan: "One day you are a decorated Space captain, the next day you blow up a 100 Billion Dollar space station and you're nothing. That makes you think."
Kif: "No it doesn't"


thos three came to my mind first but there are so many great futurama quotes
"I just pressed stimpack, and somehow I won the battle" -Flash
ZeItL
Profile Joined May 2003
Germany93 Posts
December 17 2003 11:44 GMT
#40
I, Rekrul, feel that several of those who have posted in this thread are what the we, upper eschelon of Brood War players, prefer to call "complete fucking jackasses." I, Rekrul, am not the type of person to name names, but I feel rereading the above posts may be a slight indicator to those who are one or two olives short of a salad nicoise. To discuss the original topic at hand, I, Rekrul, would like to mention that the entire WGTour ladder is filled with what we, the upper eschelon of Brood War players, prefer to call "complete fucking newbies." It would be a waste of mine, Rekrul's, time to compete amongst such newbies when I have at my, Rekrul's, disposal many top players from around the world to challenge the abilities I obviously possess, seeing as I, Rekrul, am a member of the upper eschelon of Brood War players. Recent discussions of top Korean players playing WGTour should be ignored, as some on this forum, grouped together with aforementioned generalized nomenclature, fail to realize that top Korean players are not playing WGTour for any sort of practice whatsoever, but merely to kill time and embarass the foreign Brood War community by demonstrating any Korean player near the top of their ranks can decimate the best Foreigner Brood War ladder with no effort in a couple of days.

In conclusion I, Rekrul, would like to apologize by being unavailable to respond right now, as I am in a transitionary period in my life. You as a community should not fret, however, as my weekend of transition is due to end today, Monday, September 22nd, or tomorrow, Tuesday, September 23rd, and my, Rekrul's, usual antics on this Internet Bulletin Board System will resume to their usual routine. Until then, though, I put complete trust of my thoughts and expressions in ilnp, the Ferrari of a vehicle through which my soul travels to you.

Thank You,
Rekrul[pG]

by Ilnp
I Am Become Death, Destroyer of Worlds
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 17 2003 12:08 GMT
#41
Ilnp's fake Rek post wasn't all that funny.
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
uK]MaDRiD
Profile Joined August 2003
United States199 Posts
December 17 2003 12:37 GMT
#42
not all that funny? It just plain wasn't funny at all.
If i eva gave a fuck, id shave my nuts, tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck - Em
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 17 2003 12:42 GMT
#43
You have a point.
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
Mora
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada5235 Posts
December 17 2003 12:52 GMT
#44
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


nicely done ``
Happiness only real when shared.
Mora
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada5235 Posts
December 17 2003 12:53 GMT
#45
On December 16 2003 04:46 Orlandu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


Ha ha I thought was pretty good, cause it's so damn true. Cept, I guarantee you there'd be some kind of American bashing somewhere in there too for some irrelevant reason.


lol, of course u think we're all out to get you, you're american. ;(
Happiness only real when shared.
rOm
Profile Joined December 2002
Latvia1208 Posts
December 17 2003 13:41 GMT
#46
lol
My RSX owns yours.
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 17 2003 13:44 GMT
#47
On December 17 2003 21:52 Teroru wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


nicely done ``


I don't get what is so funny about it. I understand the point, but don't see the humor.
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
MaxPepper
Profile Joined January 2003
Sri Lanka298 Posts
December 17 2003 13:50 GMT
#48
"No, I'm not gay" - Rekrul
Freedom is not something you live for, its something you die for.
Aukai
Profile Joined April 2003
United States1183 Posts
December 17 2003 13:59 GMT
#49
<Raiddx> you know what I realized last night
<Raiddx> that really pissed me off?
<Aukai)cK(> strictly plutonic love can exist between 2 grown men?
<Raiddx> naw, I don't believe so
<Raiddx> *Put's hand on your thigh*
<Raiddx> nothing plutonic here babe
There was one really amazing gal. She was one of the biggest chick i ever seen.
Oweo
Profile Joined October 2003
Sweden13 Posts
December 17 2003 14:49 GMT
#50
Teroru: lol, so true
NickDapaulo
Profile Joined October 2003
United States867 Posts
December 17 2003 15:07 GMT
#51
On December 17 2003 23:49 Oweo wrote:
Teroru: lol, so true


Heh, I read your name as "Oreo" for some reason.
Good God I look like an African tree.
Maul_au
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia29 Posts
December 17 2003 19:40 GMT
#52
Rekrul: "Haha... I didn't really say this... Maul's just making shit up again."
Your mum
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
December 18 2003 02:27 GMT
#53
Bash.org has some great quotes ^_^

#4848
<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK

#39803
(Sinada): you need to shut the fuck up. no one will flame you if don't say stupid shit. everyone says 'word'...so don't say 'thats my word!', however no one says twat waffle, so never say it again. Also: respect. respect those who deserve it and realize your place. You're annoying, most people in the chan, and those that are particularly respected, e.g. mods, voices, etc. think of you as a social parasite. So shut the fuck up and learn some goddam manners.
(robbie-a): holy shit
(robbie-a): im not fuckin readin all that

#106358
<Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs
<kessel> RL is good
<Pizza|> whats rl ?
<kessel> Real Life
<Pizza|> link ?
MaxPepper
Profile Joined January 2003
Sri Lanka298 Posts
December 18 2003 02:35 GMT
#54
Roffle my waffle
Freedom is not something you live for, its something you die for.
baal
Profile Joined March 2003
10541 Posts
December 18 2003 02:37 GMT
#55
On December 18 2003 11:27 Bill307 wrote:

#106358
<Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs
<kessel> RL is good
<Pizza|> whats rl ?
<kessel> Real Life
<Pizza|> link ?


LOL!
Im back, in pog form!
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
December 18 2003 04:52 GMT
#56
ROFL @ Sliggy from Tonga's Post
NoCleanFeed.com
ShAsTa
Profile Joined November 2002
Belgium2841 Posts
December 18 2003 04:53 GMT
#57
all 3 by bill were golden
If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Sliggy
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia797 Posts
December 18 2003 04:53 GMT
#58
On December 18 2003 13:52 NoRTyDoG wrote:
ROFL @ Sliggy from Tonga's Post
you are a fuckin jackass norty....
Yes Im back to doing RWA. Most recent one: [GG99]Slayer vs NeO(E)sKy. Gogo http://sliggy.fwtf.com
nortydog
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia3067 Posts
December 18 2003 04:54 GMT
#59
haha sliggy u lier
NoCleanFeed.com
Sliggy
Profile Joined December 2003
Australia797 Posts
December 18 2003 04:55 GMT
#60
nobody liked my penis joke :[
Yes Im back to doing RWA. Most recent one: [GG99]Slayer vs NeO(E)sKy. Gogo http://sliggy.fwtf.com
ShAsTa
Profile Joined November 2002
Belgium2841 Posts
December 18 2003 04:58 GMT
#61
I've heard it be4
If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 18 2003 08:42 GMT
#62
"You tried and failed miserably... The lesson is: never try."- Homer J. Simpson
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
Bridge
Profile Joined December 2002
United States380 Posts
December 18 2003 08:54 GMT
#63
LOL speaking of Homer, remember the episode where he has the pet monkey. the monkey gets so fat he's gasping for air. and also the one where homer just keeps getting fatter so he can stay at home and work. but the best one is the donut head homer(it's a halloween eopisode), and he takes a bite of himself.
You would hate you too if you saw what I see.
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
11739 Posts
December 18 2003 09:48 GMT
#64
But I'm so sweet, and tasty!

Those are great episodes.
I'm never gonna know you now \ But I'm gonna love you anyhow.
ShAsTa
Profile Joined November 2002
Belgium2841 Posts
Last Edited: 2003-12-18 11:54:02
December 18 2003 11:51 GMT
#65
heard this line on boy meets world today
"I hate when people say crap I don't get"
soooooo funny
If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
AgonyRush
Profile Joined January 2003
United States2540 Posts
December 18 2003 11:58 GMT
#66
AIM conversation.
Girl: so where are u from?
ShowMeMarines: I bet u dont know that place.
Girl: i happen to be good at geogaphy!
ShowMeMarines: Belarus
Girl: Oh, i dunno that one, gotta be some exotic country?
ShowMeMarines: hha, nah, former USSR republic
Girl: Wats USSR?
A team is only as good as its worst lineup
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 18 2003 12:05 GMT
#67
its 'ussr'.. the 'r' in 'ussr' stands for 'republic' so saying 'republic' after 'ussr' is ____________.
lol there is a word for this but i forgot
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
ShAsTa
Profile Joined November 2002
Belgium2841 Posts
December 18 2003 12:18 GMT
#68
wild guess but stupid?
If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
DV8
Profile Joined December 2002
United States1623 Posts
December 18 2003 12:18 GMT
#69
On December 18 2003 21:05 poland wrote:
its 'ussr'.. the 'r' in 'ussr' stands for 'republic' so saying 'republic' after 'ussr' is ____________.
lol there is a word for this but i forgot


I remember I found an error like that in my Networking class. It was like something something NIC card.
Orlandu
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
China2450 Posts
December 18 2003 12:36 GMT
#70
On December 17 2003 21:53 Teroru wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 16 2003 04:46 Orlandu wrote:
On December 16 2003 04:39 sux2bme wrote:
This is not a quote, but it's funny...

How many Teamliquid.net forumers does it take to to screw in a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term
is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the moderators complaining that they are in violation of
their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again


Ha ha I thought was pretty good, cause it's so damn true. Cept, I guarantee you there'd be some kind of American bashing somewhere in there too for some irrelevant reason.


lol, of course u think we're all out to get you, you're american. ;(


I think I've made my point =]
We cant give up just because things arent the way we want them to be.
AgonyRush
Profile Joined January 2003
United States2540 Posts
Last Edited: 2003-12-18 13:05:01
December 18 2003 12:51 GMT
#71
On December 18 2003 21:05 poland wrote:
its 'ussr'.. the 'r' in 'ussr' stands for 'republic' so saying 'republic' after 'ussr' is ____________.
lol there is a word for this but i forgot

its totally correct
example:
former US state
not former US.
A team is only as good as its worst lineup
Bridge
Profile Joined December 2002
United States380 Posts
December 18 2003 12:54 GMT
#72
they drink a lot of vodka, i saw it on the food channel =).
You would hate you too if you saw what I see.
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
Last Edited: 2003-12-18 13:16:51
December 18 2003 13:16 GMT
#73
redundant.... thats the word i was looking for. And i think that saying 'ussr republic' is redundant because it is actually saying 'united sovietsovereign republic republic'. Correct me if im wrong
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
AgonyRush
Profile Joined January 2003
United States2540 Posts
December 18 2003 13:17 GMT
#74
"former USSR" makes much less sense.
A team is only as good as its worst lineup
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 18 2003 13:18 GMT
#75
damn its 'united soviet socialist republic' right? not 'sovereign'.
damn i am sucking today
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 18 2003 13:20 GMT
#76
On December 18 2003 22:17 AgonyRush wrote:
"former USSR" makes much less sense.

just did a google search for 'former ussr republic' and in the results both 'former ussr republic' and 'former ussr' could be seen. I guess you werent wrong.
god fuckin damn it, i suck today!!!!
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
tEkK
Profile Joined December 2002
United States184 Posts
December 18 2003 13:27 GMT
#77
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

OMFG
du ma may
The0ne
Profile Joined April 2003
United States89 Posts
December 18 2003 13:31 GMT
#78
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

OMFG



hahahahahha thats awesome
wish i had a cool quote to go here =(
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 18 2003 13:32 GMT
#79
AIM gives me error "rate limiting occured during sign on. Try again later" when I try to sign on. Is that a problem with me or with aim's server or something else.?
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
Moth
Profile Joined November 2003
Sweden468 Posts
December 18 2003 13:33 GMT
#80
USSR = Union of Soviet Socialist RepublicS. It is therefore correct to say a republic of the ussr. Saying former ussr republic is also ok.
Its all about the Benjamins
poland
Profile Joined February 2003
Poland956 Posts
December 18 2003 13:35 GMT
#81
ok thx for saying that. i am wrong for the gagilienth time and i hate myself.
i dont believe in mimes... do u?
Krzych
Profile Joined July 2003
Poland693 Posts
December 18 2003 13:47 GMT
#82
ahh, too much hatred, calm down
Bridge
Profile Joined December 2002
United States380 Posts
December 18 2003 13:49 GMT
#83
who gives a fuck about political correctness, the worst characteristic of our generation. people should not "pussy-foot" around the subject, tell it like it is.
You would hate you too if you saw what I see.
MannerKiss
Profile Joined June 2003
United States2398 Posts
December 18 2003 14:34 GMT
#84
ahh isnt tl.net great
I want an igloo.
RoboSexuaL
Profile Joined May 2005
United States240 Posts
May 14 2005 18:00 GMT
#85
holy shit this thread is 2 years and 5 months old
I got a thirst for knowledge, but I hate waiting in line at the well.
RoboSexuaL
Profile Joined May 2005
United States240 Posts
May 14 2005 18:10 GMT
#86
On May 15 2005 03:00 RoboSexuaL wrote:
holy shit this thread is 2 years and 5 months old
pretty funny
I got a thirst for knowledge, but I hate waiting in line at the well.
1hp
Profile Joined January 2005
Korea (South)903 Posts
May 14 2005 18:13 GMT
#87
From South Park epidsode called 'Preschool'.

"Let's put out her fire, guys!"
Then Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Kenny unzip their pants and start pissing on their preschool teacher (who's on fire and on the ground practically dying). While they are doing all this they make fire truck siren sounds.
Legionnaire
Profile Joined January 2003
Australia4514 Posts
May 14 2005 18:22 GMT
#88
Bringing up old threads, its been happening a bit lately.

1 week ban for you and any others i find..
My hope is one day stupid people will feel the same pain when they talk, as the pain the rest of us feel when we hear them. Twitter: @Legionnaire_au
Keke[Faith]
Profile Joined January 2007
Canada27 Posts
January 23 2007 08:17 GMT
#89
Lol i also liked the Lightbulb joke..did you make that up yourself lol and cartman is a fatass;p
JulyZerg Looks Like A Pumpkin With Hair
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