what would you do?

On October 19 2008 11:39 Descent wrote:
[I would] give her support. Seriously, rape is understood as a crime, involving a criminal (or criminals) and a victim. If she's the victim, then I see no reason to victimize her further. If hope this is just a theoretical scenario, though~

On October 19 2008 11:39 Descent wrote:
[I would] give her support. Seriously, rape is understood as a crime, involving a criminal (or criminals) and a victim. If she's the victim, then I see no reason to victimize her further. If hope this is just a theoretical scenario, though~

On October 19 2008 11:36 YPang wrote:
er... Move on to a different girl. If I have multiple women in my life i wouldn't bother going through all that effort and emotional drama for this one single girl that isn't even honest. I'd probably even feel glad that i exposed her real self early, so i wouldn't of had to waste more time dating/figuring out who she was.

edit: easier said than done.

On October 19 2008 11:36 Falcynn wrote:
I wouldn't be angry, I mean being raped is an incredibly personal and emotionally damaging event. If she doesn't feel like telling anybody then you can't really blame her...

However I'd probably break it off, generally it's pretty hard to mend a relationship when either side has been exposed to something like that.

Edit: I can't tell how long this relationship's lasted, but if it's been really long, then maybe you should hang in there (assuming you're asking for advice and not asking a rhetorical question).

On October 19 2008 11:42 Archaic wrote:


I agree with this. She was raped, and if keeping her virginity was a serious issue in the relationship, how can you possibly hold that against her? Assuming this is theoretical... how did you come up with this? If it isn't, I'm sorry, man.

EDIT: Finishing the thought:
I wouldn't be angry at all. It is very common that they don't want to report it for a variety of reasons. In fact, I can't believe anyone who would be angry, unless they are completely oblivious to psychology learned in health class.

And about the relationship, I don't know if I would break it off or not. I know I wouldn't just remove her from my life though.

On October 19 2008 11:52 riptide wrote:
This is a tough call, and so I'm not going to answer your question.

All I'm going to say is that she NEEDS you right now, and even though you may be angry, you should realise that you've never been raped (I'm assuming here) and that you can't possibly know what that feels like. The rational thing here would be to report the crime. Then again, there are a lot of issues she's dealing with at the moment. Shock, fear, and a horde of other feelings.

So my suggestion is this - don't ask us whether we'd be angry. Put your anger aside for a second and be the friend this girl needs. Whether you decide to get into a relationship with her or not is your call man, but right now, you're above all a friend. Act like one.

I know you must be feeling angry, and sad about what happened to her, but be careful you don't misdirect this. None of this is her fault, and the fact that she doesn't want to report it is completely understandable. Instead of trying to go after the guy that did it (by making her report it), you should try your best to just _listen_ to what she has to say.

Eventually, she may find the courage to take action herself, but this is her battle, not yours. All you can do is give her the love, acceptance and support that will enable her to take action.

You both are in my prayers man. Take care.

On October 19 2008 12:38 Raithed wrote:
youre right, this isnt my battle at all. i dont know what you mean about take action herself, kind of got no evidence.. but this kid has done this to another friend of hers. but thank you all, i know what i must do now.

On October 19 2008 12:55 riptide wrote:


You don't need evidence to report a crime. IANAL, but as far as I know, you can report a crime, as in, tell the authorities what happened, without evidence. If, for example, both her and her friend come forward to testify about what this bastard did to them, there's a good chance of something happening to him. Again, not a lawyer, just sharing my limited layman's knowledge.