what would you do?

On October 19 2008 11:39 Descent wrote:
[I would] give her support. Seriously, rape is understood as a crime, involving a criminal (or criminals) and a victim. If she's the victim, then I see no reason to victimize her further. If hope this is just a theoretical scenario, though~

On October 19 2008 11:39 Descent wrote:
[I would] give her support. Seriously, rape is understood as a crime, involving a criminal (or criminals) and a victim. If she's the victim, then I see no reason to victimize her further. If hope this is just a theoretical scenario, though~

On October 19 2008 11:36 YPang wrote:
er... Move on to a different girl. If I have multiple women in my life i wouldn't bother going through all that effort and emotional drama for this one single girl that isn't even honest. I'd probably even feel glad that i exposed her real self early, so i wouldn't of had to waste more time dating/figuring out who she was.

edit: easier said than done.

On October 19 2008 11:36 Falcynn wrote:
I wouldn't be angry, I mean being raped is an incredibly personal and emotionally damaging event. If she doesn't feel like telling anybody then you can't really blame her...

However I'd probably break it off, generally it's pretty hard to mend a relationship when either side has been exposed to something like that.

Edit: I can't tell how long this relationship's lasted, but if it's been really long, then maybe you should hang in there (assuming you're asking for advice and not asking a rhetorical question).

On October 19 2008 11:42 Archaic wrote:


I agree with this. She was raped, and if keeping her virginity was a serious issue in the relationship, how can you possibly hold that against her? Assuming this is theoretical... how did you come up with this? If it isn't, I'm sorry, man.

EDIT: Finishing the thought:
I wouldn't be angry at all. It is very common that they don't want to report it for a variety of reasons. In fact, I can't believe anyone who would be angry, unless they are completely oblivious to psychology learned in health class.

And about the relationship, I don't know if I would break it off or not. I know I wouldn't just remove her from my life though.

On October 19 2008 11:52 riptide wrote:
This is a tough call, and so I'm not going to answer your question.

All I'm going to say is that she NEEDS you right now, and even though you may be angry, you should realise that you've never been raped (I'm assuming here) and that you can't possibly know what that feels like. The rational thing here would be to report the crime. Then again, there are a lot of issues she's dealing with at the moment. Shock, fear, and a horde of other feelings.

So my suggestion is this - don't ask us whether we'd be angry. Put your anger aside for a second and be the friend this girl needs. Whether you decide to get into a relationship with her or not is your call man, but right now, you're above all a friend. Act like one.

I know you must be feeling angry, and sad about what happened to her, but be careful you don't misdirect this. None of this is her fault, and the fact that she doesn't want to report it is completely understandable. Instead of trying to go after the guy that did it (by making her report it), you should try your best to just _listen_ to what she has to say.

Eventually, she may find the courage to take action herself, but this is her battle, not yours. All you can do is give her the love, acceptance and support that will enable her to take action.

You both are in my prayers man. Take care.

On October 19 2008 12:38 Raithed wrote:
youre right, this isnt my battle at all. i dont know what you mean about take action herself, kind of got no evidence.. but this kid has done this to another friend of hers. but thank you all, i know what i must do now.

On October 19 2008 12:55 riptide wrote:


You don't need evidence to report a crime. IANAL, but as far as I know, you can report a crime, as in, tell the authorities what happened, without evidence. If, for example, both her and her friend come forward to testify about what this bastard did to them, there's a good chance of something happening to him. Again, not a lawyer, just sharing my limited layman's knowledge.

On October 19 2008 15:01 AmericaN wrote:
I'd rape her. If she didn't report the first guy, why would she report you? Free rough anal sex.

On October 19 2008 13:56 Raithed wrote:
but tell me this, how come it took her months to tell me. is it because shes afraid of hurting me? i dont know, if that had happened to me i think i would tell right? i dont know, different people have different mindsets i guess.

On October 19 2008 15:01 AmericaN wrote:
I'd rape her. If she didn't report the first guy, why would she report you? Free rough anal sex.

On October 19 2008 23:08 Elvin_vn wrote:
How did she get raped?

If she flirted with the guy and got raped then she deserved it. Maybe that's why she didn't report it?

PS: Virginity is overrated and that kind of promise is corny. Best advise: stay away from emo girl.

On October 19 2008 11:34 Raithed wrote:
what would you do if you and this girl were in love but not dating anymore because you both have dated three times and this is going to be a long break instead of a short break. and during the course of the relationship, she says that she would keep her virginity to you and then was later raped by a guy but did not report it.

what would you do? would you be angry at the fact that she did not report it? imagine this was you.

On October 19 2008 22:52 Koldblooded wrote:
How are you in love if you can't stay together?

On October 20 2008 00:58 Fen wrote:
You dont know what shes going through. You are not qualified to tell her what to do. Get some advice from rape help groups and shit, not TL.

If your angry at her because she lost her virginity, then you are the worlds biggest asshole. If you cannot see why she might have hidden the fact from you, then you are the worlds biggest retard.

If you know who the guy is that raped her. Hunt that fucker down and chop his dick off.

On October 20 2008 00:43 ish0wstopper wrote:



nah i think its sweet

but why wouldn't she report it?

rape is not something small, its something that can mentally scar a person for life.
but i dont feel like i can make a judgment call for you cause i dont know your situation that well

On October 19 2008 23:08 Elvin_vn wrote:
How did she get raped?

If she flirted with the guy and got raped then she deserved it. Maybe that's why she didn't report it?

PS: Virginity is overrated and that kind of promise is corny. Best advise: stay away from emo girl.

On October 20 2008 02:23 Raithed wrote:
i dont know, i keep asking myself why she didnt report it but she said she didnt think there was any seriousness in it. i dont know how to make use out of that.. i mean, the guy already raped another girl but it wasnt rape? but she said it surely wasnt mutual, so it has to be? i dont know.

On October 19 2008 14:27 letsbefree wrote:
she got raped? holy shit ='(
personally i would find the guy and fucking rip his dick off

On October 20 2008 02:23 Raithed wrote:

you know, thats the funny thing. its not like we dont want to be together or anything, we just like breaks sometimes so we dont annoy the hell out of each other but we still love each other. the thing with us is that when we take breaks or long time of not talking to each other, we are more closer. i guess this kind of attributes to it somehow.

well of course im not qualified to tell her what to do, im not telling her what to do.

i dont know, i keep asking myself why she didnt report it but she said she didnt think there was any seriousness in it. i dont know how to make use out of that.. i mean, the guy already raped another girl but it wasnt rape? but she said it surely wasnt mutual, so it has to be? i dont know.

they hang out a lot, and as far as i know, he has a gf?

On October 20 2008 06:11 KlaCkoN wrote:


Ehm she got "raped" by a guy but is still friends with him? ......
And yes virginity is overrated I wouldn't care much about that specific part if I were you.

On October 20 2008 07:04 Raithed wrote:

i guess i didnt make sense since you did not understand, they were friends and hung out a lot. theyre not friends anymore.

On October 20 2008 07:18 artofmagic wrote:


hey man.. in my perspective.. she gave in to temptation since they know each other and hangout alot. unless she was totally drunk(very possible), drugged or physically forced(don't think that's possible).

the question is more like... will you still date a non-virgin girl or a girl who fucks another person when they're on break?

On October 20 2008 07:23 KlaCkoN wrote:
Ok makes more sense that way.
God it makes me mad thinking about this.
As a fellow human it's your responsibility to fuck him up imo. Police (best choice), shoot him, beat him up, whatever. Otherwise he will keep raping girls, perhaps even killing one of them one day.
On the other hand, your loyalty to her dictates that you are there for her, listens to her and don't do _anything_ without her consent.
Tough call really.
Have you asked her wether or not she would want to go after him? Maybe she just needs support for it.

On October 20 2008 07:34 Raithed wrote:

you know, shes really dodgy in terms that i would ask her something and i always have to change the subject because im random like that and she would just answer my random question instead of my question asking her about the subject. and i dont really know how to ask her about that, like, would i just go "would you and (the other girl) go to police about this?" i mean i asked her the night she told me and she said she didnt think of the seriousness of it.. WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

On October 20 2008 07:46 travis wrote:


When the things people say make no sense/are confusing like that, it's generally due to dishonesty.

On October 20 2008 08:07 KlaCkoN wrote:


Yea you have a point there. On the other hand though if she really wasn't raped it would make no sense whatsoever for her to tell anyone about this (least of all OP) in the first place.

On October 19 2008 23:08 Elvin_vn wrote:
If she flirted with the guy and got raped then she deserved it. Maybe that's why she didn't report it?

On October 20 2008 02:23 Raithed wrote:

well of course im not qualified to tell her what to do, im not telling her what to do.

On October 20 2008 10:01 Elvin_vn wrote:
fgsvsd here i give u a cyber cookie

On October 20 2008 07:46 travis wrote:


When the things people say make no sense/are confusing like that, it's generally due to dishonesty.

On October 20 2008 12:47 Raithed wrote:
nah i agree, shes fucking stupid for not reporting it but its not like im going to ache her into reporting it every fucking day. she doesnt like me mentioning about that to her.

On October 20 2008 15:01 yubee wrote:
umm is this the girl you're writing a song for?