• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 14:53
CET 20:53
KST 04:53
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12Intel X Team Liquid Seoul event: Showmatches and Meet the Pros10
Community News
BGE Stara Zagora 2026 announced12[BSL21] Ro.16 Group Stage (C->B->A->D)4Weekly Cups (Nov 17-23): Solar, MaxPax, Clem win3RSL Season 3: RO16 results & RO8 bracket13Weekly Cups (Nov 10-16): Reynor, Solar lead Zerg surge2
StarCraft 2
General
Information Request Regarding Chinese Ladder BGE Stara Zagora 2026 announced SC: Evo Complete - Ranked Ladder OPEN ALPHA When will we find out if there are more tournament Weekly Cups (Nov 17-23): Solar, MaxPax, Clem win
Tourneys
$5,000+ WardiTV 2025 Championship Constellation Cup - Main Event - Stellar Fest RSL Revival: Season 3 Tenacious Turtle Tussle [Alpha Pro Series] Nice vs Cure
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 502 Negative Reinforcement Mutation # 501 Price of Progress Mutation # 500 Fright night Mutation # 499 Chilling Adaptation
Brood War
General
FlaSh's Valkyrie Copium BW General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone Which season is the best in ASL?
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] RO16 Group B - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] RO16 Group C - Saturday 21:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Game Theory for Starcraft How to stay on top of macro? Current Meta PvZ map balance
Other Games
General Games
Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread The Perfect Game Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Beyond All Reason
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread The Big Programming Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Artificial Intelligence Thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2026 Football Thread NBA General Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023 TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Where to ask questions and add stream? The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Esports Earnings: Bigger Pri…
TrAiDoS
Thanks for the RSL
Hildegard
Saturation point
Uldridge
DnB/metal remix FFO Mick Go…
ImbaTosS
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1139 users

I'm a noob in the sack

Blogs > jjun212
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
jjun212
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada2208 Posts
July 30 2009 22:53 GMT
#1
I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

*****
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
July 30 2009 23:03 GMT
#2
rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Judicator
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States7270 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#3
I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.
Get it by your hands...
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#4
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
why so 진지해?
A3iL3r0n
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States2196 Posts
July 30 2009 23:11 GMT
#5
quality advice 5/5
My psychiatrist says I have deep-seated Ragneuroses :(
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:12 GMT
#6
rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#7
That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#8
Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.

I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 23:14 GMT
#9
omg lol 5/5
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
July 30 2009 23:16 GMT
#10
five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this is real
krazymunky
Profile Joined June 2008
United States727 Posts
July 30 2009 23:18 GMT
#11
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
ChaseR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Norway1004 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#12
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Life is not Fucking Fair and Society is not Fucking Logical - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#13
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
why so 진지해?
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9949 Posts
July 30 2009 23:21 GMT
#14
5/5

Honesty owns
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Pengu1n
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States552 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:25:08
July 30 2009 23:23 GMT
#15
haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.

also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.
Gliche
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States811 Posts
July 30 2009 23:28 GMT
#16
lol

Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!
KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
July 30 2009 23:29 GMT
#17
On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself



So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Clow
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Brazil880 Posts
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#18
I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5
(–_–) CJ Entusman #33
RushWifDietCoke
Profile Joined May 2008
United States488 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:33:58
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#19
1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.

Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.

Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally.
Nothing to it but to do it.
Mystlord *
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10264 Posts
July 30 2009 23:35 GMT
#20
Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail Just give up after the first failure.
It is impossible to be a citizen if you don't make an effort to understand the most basic activities of your government. It is very difficult to thrive in an increasingly competitive world if you're a nation of doods.
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 7m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
mouzHeroMarine 655
Livibee 136
JuggernautJason49
DisKSc2 26
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 4040
Shuttle 595
Dewaltoss 168
sas.Sziky 92
hero 85
Mong 43
ZZZero.O 42
Dota 2
Gorgc7304
singsing2767
syndereN253
Counter-Strike
fl0m5498
zeus1389
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu562
Other Games
Grubby5917
FrodaN3195
Mlord791
B2W.Neo639
Fuzer 161
ArmadaUGS140
mouzStarbuck127
QueenE62
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick11067
EGCTV1793
BasetradeTV75
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream52
StarCraft 2
angryscii 6
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 52
• HeavenSC 17
• Kozan
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• sooper7s
• Migwel
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• Ler145
League of Legends
• HappyZerGling135
Other Games
• imaqtpie1622
• Shiphtur355
• WagamamaTV339
Upcoming Events
BSL 21
7m
Hawk vs Kyrie
spx vs Cross
Replay Cast
4h 7m
Wardi Open
16h 7m
Monday Night Weeklies
21h 7m
StarCraft2.fi
21h 7m
Replay Cast
1d 4h
Wardi Open
1d 16h
StarCraft2.fi
1d 21h
PiGosaur Monday
2 days
Wardi Open
2 days
[ Show More ]
StarCraft2.fi
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Korean StarCraft League
5 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
SC Evo League
5 days
BSL 21
6 days
Sziky vs OyAji
Gypsy vs eOnzErG
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-11-28
RSL Revival: Season 3
Eternal Conflict S1

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 4
YSL S2
BSL Season 21
CSCL: Masked Kings S3
Slon Tour Season 2
META Madness #9
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2

Upcoming

BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
RSL Offline Finals
WardiTV 2025
Kuram Kup
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026: Closed Qualifier
eXTREMESLAND 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.