• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 12:55
CET 18:55
KST 02:55
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational7SC2 All-Star Invitational: Tournament Preview5RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0
Community News
Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win0BSL Season 2025 - Full Overview and Conclusion8Weekly Cups (Jan 5-11): Clem wins big offline, Trigger upsets4$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7)16Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns7
StarCraft 2
General
herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational Starcraft 2 will not be in the Esports World Cup PhD study /w SC2 - help with a survey! SC2 Spotted on the EWC 2026 list? When will we find out if there are more tournament
Tourneys
OSC Season 13 World Championship $70 Prize Pool Ladder Legends Academy Weekly Open! SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-18 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament SC2 AI Tournament 2026
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 509 Doomsday Report Mutation # 508 Violent Night Mutation # 507 Well Trained Mutation # 506 Warp Zone
Brood War
General
Which foreign pros are considered the best? [ASL21] Potential Map Candidates BW General Discussion BW AKA finder tool Gypsy to Korea
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10 Small VOD Thread 2.0 Azhi's Colosseum - Season 2
Strategy
Current Meta Simple Questions, Simple Answers Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2 Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Beyond All Reason Awesome Games Done Quick 2026!
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread NASA and the Private Sector Canadian Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club! The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Navigating the Risks and Rew…
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1848 users

I'm a noob in the sack

Blogs > jjun212
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
jjun212
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada2208 Posts
July 30 2009 22:53 GMT
#1
I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

*****
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
July 30 2009 23:03 GMT
#2
rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Judicator
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States7270 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#3
I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.
Get it by your hands...
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#4
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
why so 진지해?
A3iL3r0n
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States2196 Posts
July 30 2009 23:11 GMT
#5
quality advice 5/5
My psychiatrist says I have deep-seated Ragneuroses :(
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:12 GMT
#6
rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#7
That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#8
Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.

I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 23:14 GMT
#9
omg lol 5/5
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
July 30 2009 23:16 GMT
#10
five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this is real
krazymunky
Profile Joined June 2008
United States727 Posts
July 30 2009 23:18 GMT
#11
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
ChaseR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Norway1004 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#12
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Life is not Fucking Fair and Society is not Fucking Logical - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#13
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
why so 진지해?
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9949 Posts
July 30 2009 23:21 GMT
#14
5/5

Honesty owns
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Pengu1n
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States552 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:25:08
July 30 2009 23:23 GMT
#15
haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.

also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.
Gliche
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States811 Posts
July 30 2009 23:28 GMT
#16
lol

Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!
KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
July 30 2009 23:29 GMT
#17
On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself



So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Clow
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Brazil880 Posts
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#18
I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5
(–_–) CJ Entusman #33
RushWifDietCoke
Profile Joined May 2008
United States488 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:33:58
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#19
1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.

Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.

Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally.
Nothing to it but to do it.
Mystlord *
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10264 Posts
July 30 2009 23:35 GMT
#20
Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail Just give up after the first failure.
It is impossible to be a citizen if you don't make an effort to understand the most basic activities of your government. It is very difficult to thrive in an increasingly competitive world if you're a nation of doods.
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 17h 6m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Harstem 564
TKL 199
ProTech137
UpATreeSC 83
Livibee 78
BRAT_OK 77
SC2Nice 37
MindelVK 28
Rex 26
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 3105
actioN 160
Mong 129
Dewaltoss 110
Rock 44
Sexy 28
ajuk12(nOOB) 16
EffOrt 6
Dota 2
qojqva2816
Dendi701
420jenkins366
League of Legends
C9.Mang029
Counter-Strike
fl0m4795
byalli1066
x6flipin477
oskar166
Other Games
Grubby3323
B2W.Neo1092
FrodaN655
ceh9467
DeMusliM444
allub274
ArmadaUGS171
Fuzer 165
QueenE74
Mew2King39
Organizations
StarCraft 2
angryscii 27
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 18 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• poizon28 30
• HeavenSC 24
• StrangeGG 11
• IndyKCrew
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• sooper7s
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Laughngamez YouTube
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• FirePhoenix5
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 2893
League of Legends
• TFBlade908
Other Games
• Shiphtur205
Upcoming Events
RongYI Cup
17h 6m
ByuN vs TriGGeR
herO vs Rogue
OSC
17h 6m
RongYI Cup
1d 17h
Clem vs ShoWTimE
Zoun vs Bunny
Big Brain Bouts
1d 23h
Serral vs TBD
RongYI Cup
2 days
SHIN vs Creator
Classic vs Percival
OSC
2 days
BSL 21
2 days
RongYI Cup
3 days
Maru vs Cyan
Solar vs Krystianer
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
BSL 21
3 days
[ Show More ]
Wardi Open
4 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
OSC
5 days
WardiTV Invitational
5 days
WardiTV Invitational
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-01-20
SC2 All-Star Inv. 2025
NA Kuram Kup

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
OSC Championship Season 13
Underdog Cup #3
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W5
Acropolis #4 - TS4
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Rongyi Cup S3
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.