• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 15:34
CET 21:34
KST 05:34
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT29Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book19Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8
Community News
Team Liquid Map Contest - Preparation Notice6Weekly Cups (Feb 23-Mar 1): herO doubles, 2v2 bonanza1Weekly Cups (Feb 16-22): MaxPax doubles0Weekly Cups (Feb 9-15): herO doubles up2ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/0258
StarCraft 2
General
Vitality disbanding their sc2-team How do you think the 5.0.15 balance patch (Oct 2025) for StarCraft II has affected the game? Team Liquid Map Contest - Preparation Notice ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament $5,000 WardiTV Winter Championship 2026 RSL Season 4 announced for March-April Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Publishing has been re-enabled! [Feb 24th 2026] Map Editor closed ?
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 515 Together Forever Mutation # 514 Ulnar New Year Mutation # 513 Attrition Warfare
Brood War
General
BSL 22 Map Contest — Submissions OPEN to March 10 BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Gypsy to Korea Effort misses out on ASL S21 Recent recommended BW games
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL22] Open Qualifier #1 - Sunday 21:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0 BWCL Season 64 Announcement
Strategy
Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2 Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers Zealot bombing is no longer popular?
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Diablo 2 thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine YouTube Thread UK Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TL MMA Pick'em Pool 2013
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Laptop capable of using Photoshop Lightroom?
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Shocked by a laser…
Spydermine0240
Gaming-Related Deaths
TrAiDoS
ONE GREAT AMERICAN MARINE…
XenOsky
Unintentional protectionism…
Uldridge
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2167 users

I'm a noob in the sack

Blogs > jjun212
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
jjun212
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada2208 Posts
July 30 2009 22:53 GMT
#1
I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

*****
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
July 30 2009 23:03 GMT
#2
rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Judicator
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States7270 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#3
I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.
Get it by your hands...
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#4
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
why so 진지해?
A3iL3r0n
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States2196 Posts
July 30 2009 23:11 GMT
#5
quality advice 5/5
My psychiatrist says I have deep-seated Ragneuroses :(
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:12 GMT
#6
rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#7
That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#8
Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.

I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 23:14 GMT
#9
omg lol 5/5
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
July 30 2009 23:16 GMT
#10
five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this is real
krazymunky
Profile Joined June 2008
United States727 Posts
July 30 2009 23:18 GMT
#11
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
ChaseR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Norway1004 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#12
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Life is not Fucking Fair and Society is not Fucking Logical - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#13
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
why so 진지해?
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9950 Posts
July 30 2009 23:21 GMT
#14
5/5

Honesty owns
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Pengu1n
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States552 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:25:08
July 30 2009 23:23 GMT
#15
haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.

also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.
Gliche
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States811 Posts
July 30 2009 23:28 GMT
#16
lol

Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!
KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
July 30 2009 23:29 GMT
#17
On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself



So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Clow
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Brazil880 Posts
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#18
I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5
(–_–) CJ Entusman #33
RushWifDietCoke
Profile Joined May 2008
United States488 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:33:58
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#19
1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.

Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.

Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally.
Nothing to it but to do it.
Mystlord *
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10264 Posts
July 30 2009 23:35 GMT
#20
Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail Just give up after the first failure.
It is impossible to be a citizen if you don't make an effort to understand the most basic activities of your government. It is very difficult to thrive in an increasingly competitive world if you're a nation of doods.
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
OSC
18:00
OSC Elite Rising Star #18
SteadfastSC173
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Harstem 271
SteadfastSC 173
ProTech127
JuggernautJason105
EmSc Tv 23
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 23149
Britney 17562
firebathero 159
ggaemo 30
Counter-Strike
fl0m3659
Fnx 2566
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu346
Khaldor157
Other Games
gofns57525
tarik_tv17660
Grubby2470
summit1g2377
FrodaN2247
singsing1290
B2W.Neo599
Fuzer 125
C9.Mang0112
QueenE88
Trikslyr51
ToD42
capcasts34
Liquid`Ken1
Organizations
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 23
EmSc2Tv 23
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 20 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Adnapsc2 18
• intothetv
• IndyKCrew
• sooper7s
• Migwel
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Kozan
StarCraft: Brood War
• blackmanpl 44
• 80smullet 19
• FirePhoenix10
• Michael_bg 5
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• lizZardDota260
League of Legends
• Nemesis4198
• TFBlade1378
Other Games
• imaqtpie1026
• Shiphtur159
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
3h 26m
CranKy Ducklings
13h 26m
RSL Revival
13h 26m
WardiTV Winter Champion…
15h 26m
AI Arena Tournament
23h 26m
Replay Cast
1d 3h
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 13h
RSL Revival
1d 13h
WardiTV Winter Champion…
1d 15h
OSC
1d 15h
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Monday Night Weeklies
2 days
OSC
3 days
Replay Cast
5 days
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-03-05
PiG Sty Festival 7.0
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Jeongseon Sooper Cup
Spring Cup 2026
WardiTV Winter 2026
Nations Cup 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual

Upcoming

ASL Season 21: Qualifier #1
ASL Season 21: Qualifier #2
ASL Season 21
Acropolis #4 - TS6
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
CSLAN 4
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
NationLESS Cup
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.