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Active: 2573 users

I'm a noob in the sack

Blogs > jjun212
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
jjun212
Profile Joined December 2004
Canada2208 Posts
July 30 2009 22:53 GMT
#1
I admit it. Especially after last night.

The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.

At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\

*****
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
July 30 2009 23:03 GMT
#2
rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Judicator
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States7270 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#3
I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.
Get it by your hands...
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:10 GMT
#4
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
why so 진지해?
A3iL3r0n
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States2196 Posts
July 30 2009 23:11 GMT
#5
quality advice 5/5
My psychiatrist says I have deep-seated Ragneuroses :(
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:12 GMT
#6
rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#7
That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
July 30 2009 23:13 GMT
#8
Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.

I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 23:14 GMT
#9
omg lol 5/5
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
July 30 2009 23:16 GMT
#10
five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this is real
krazymunky
Profile Joined June 2008
United States727 Posts
July 30 2009 23:18 GMT
#11
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
ChaseR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Norway1004 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#12
On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Life is not Fucking Fair and Society is not Fucking Logical - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 30 2009 23:20 GMT
#13
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
why so 진지해?
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9950 Posts
July 30 2009 23:21 GMT
#14
5/5

Honesty owns
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
Pengu1n
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States552 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:25:08
July 30 2009 23:23 GMT
#15
haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.

also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.
Gliche
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States811 Posts
July 30 2009 23:28 GMT
#16
lol

Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!
KT fighting~!! | Designing things is fun!
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
July 30 2009 23:29 GMT
#17
On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself



So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Clow
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Brazil880 Posts
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#18
I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5
(–_–) CJ Entusman #33
RushWifDietCoke
Profile Joined May 2008
United States488 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 23:33:58
July 30 2009 23:32 GMT
#19
1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.

Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.

Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally.
Nothing to it but to do it.
Mystlord *
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10264 Posts
July 30 2009 23:35 GMT
#20
Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail Just give up after the first failure.
It is impossible to be a citizen if you don't make an effort to understand the most basic activities of your government. It is very difficult to thrive in an increasingly competitive world if you're a nation of doods.
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