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I admit it. Especially after last night.
The hottest girl I've ever been with and we ended up laughing and joking around instead of humping.
At first I couldn't even unhook her bra. Then I was talking aloud to myself in order to make sure I got the condom on correctly but then when it was on, I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.
FML
I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.
Anyway, for all you noobs out there. It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.
Because shit happens.. like it did to me =\
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rough, did you get anything or was the whole night bust?
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I am sorry but this is hilarious in the way you tell it.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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rofl
Shit happens. Now you know to plan ahead.
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That's brutal. Condoms are meant as one time use things, haha.
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Also don't reuse the condom if you've already put it on once.
I missed that the first time because I was laughing...sorry lol =/
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five out of five!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope this is real
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On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though
just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
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Belgium9949 Posts
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haha yeah same shit happened to me my first time but eventually u become pro and can unhook that crap in like 1 sec with 2 fingers.
also i sucked at putting on condoms when i used them i jus made my gf put them on for me lol she didnt mind. plus you cant really go soft while shes playing with your penis putting it on.
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lol
Yes we all go through that first time, but at least you're honest. Practice makes perfect!
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On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though
just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
So true haha. Those things are pieces of shit. The bra I mean
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I'm sorry about your night man.
Thanks for the advice. 5/5
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1. Thumb and pointer finger on the band (in the middle where it connects obviously)around her back.
2. Pinch fingers together.
Took me a while to figure out but it's like riding a bicycle, once you learn you'll never forget.
Edit: I've evolved into a zergling finally. 
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Good luck on round two, bud.
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Shit happens to everyone... just get back in the game bro.
5/5 i wouldnt have the balls to post that
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Also, you should practice unhooking bras until you can do it with one hand. Girls have told me this is a turn-on.
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LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Oh god I lol'd so hard.
Unclasping the bra isn't that hard when you realize they are generally just a hook....
but yea condoms suck... that really will never get better buddy.
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I haven't laughed that hard in some time. Maybe you like boys?
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
practice putting on a condom beforehand next time lmao.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
On July 31 2009 07:53 jjun212 wrote:
I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.
FML
I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.
Don't feel bad about this at all. It's happened to me before with far worse circumstances surrounding it lol....Being anxious, nervous etc will do it to your johnson - That's it that's all.
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you can get a bra and practice unclasping it.
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On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though
just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself
its a sliiiiiide of the fingers, kinda like a snap, but a slide. your method works surprisingly well too LOL.
@ op TT
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OP your honesty makes me smile.
GL with attempt #2.
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With the bra all you gotta do is pinch the connecting bit with ur forefinger and thumb and it should just click apart. Tada! gL
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It's simple.
You fast expanded without scouting, and and when you finally sent out a scout, there was a goon wall on the ramp. Unsuspecting, you plant down 4 more factories and research siege in preparation for 2 gate goon pressure. You then wonder why the timing is off so bad.
Then it clicked.
He's going for a reaver drop!
You say "lololol noob, reavers are gay"
In anticipation, you throw down an engineering bay and start your turrets as soon as it finishes. You also throw an academy down to get your admittedly late scanners. Your economy kicks in as you fall into a sense of security. You begin macroing.
Your scanners finish. You scan the main. You see a fleet beacon
"Oh shi-"
Suddenly, 40 scouts appear out of nowhere behind an arbiter and takes out all of your turrets. A battlecruiser makes an appearance. As you begin to flounder in the complete hopelessness and complete confusion of the situation (C'mon man, a Battlecruiser?), you make a decision.
Goliaths, and lots of them. You start an armory on the far side of the map with your initial scout...
Only to find that your scout is missing.
Only then you type "Wtf BCs?"
"Dumbass, I mc'd your scout and expanded all over the map while you were busy typing 'noob'".
You say, "Orly? Share vision?"
And the map suddenly lights up. You now see the folly, the source, of all your tribulations.
You didn't scout.
It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.
It's not lame to scout in Starcraft.
Since you're so bad in bed, relate it to Starcraft next time.
You may find the answers on how to research stim for your manhood reaver in section 1.9
Props to GrandInquisitor for the guide.
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I can see it already haha 40 year old virgin
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I'll pray for your cock.
(:
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3861 Posts
it's it bad that this post made me go "AWWWWWW" ~~~
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HAHAHAHA the way you told this made it 10x funnier, sorry, i feel for you man.
Good luck the next night =)
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My first time it also went soft but my then gf shouted at it and it got up...
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HonestTea
5007 Posts
Just remember - always more than one condom.
You can't 'reattach' a open condom. McGuyver can't even do that. It's impossible.
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On July 31 2009 11:15 prOxi.swAMi wrote:
With the bra all you gotta do is pinch the connecting bit with ur forefinger and thumb and it should just click apart. Tada! gL
works everytime.
And yeah always practice up with that condom thing, if you take too long of course it's going to go soft on you.
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LOL props for blogging about it on the internets. 5/5
next time remember to bring scissors!
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5/5
Sex is overrated anyway.
On July 31 2009 08:35 Mystlord wrote:Lol. If you fail once, you'll continuously fail Just give up after the first failure.
But don't listen to this! Keep trying, especially if she's as hot as you say ^^
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On July 31 2009 08:10 Rekrul wrote:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
my sentiments exactly
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EPT
