• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 23:12
CEST 05:12
KST 12:12
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 244ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3
Community News
Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)8Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over2New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!40Weekly Cups (August 17-23): Zerg dominate the week6Weekly Cups (August 10-16): SHIN doubles4
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (August 10-16): SHIN doubles Nexon wins bid to develop StarCraft IP content, distribute Overwatch mobile game SC4ALL II: SC2 Player Announcement 6/8 - Maru Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over How would you feel about frequent/monthly balance patches for SC2?
Tourneys
2026 GSTL Announcement Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20) PIG STY FESTIVAL 8.0! (13 - 23 August) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament IntoTheTV X SOOP SC2 League : Weekly & Monthly
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 541 Binary Choice The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 540 Dodge This Mutation # 539 Thunder Dome
Brood War
General
ASL22 General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion [Personal Project Share] Terran Defense v0.60 XUN appreciation thread
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues BSL LAN Party - Kraków 29-30 August - OPEN SIGNUPS [ASL22] Ro24 Group F Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Game Theory for Starcraft Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Fighting Spirit mining rates
Other Games
General Games
[Maplestory Hardcore] Let's Play~!! General RTS Discussion Thread Stratus: Battle for the sky now on steam Early acc Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Canadian Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
Regacy Esports: The Bh…
regacyesports
Violent Games and Crime Rate…
TrAiDoS
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Cathedral Of CS And NY pizza a…
FuDDx
Please support my new stand…
Peanutsc
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 3875 users

I'm a noob in the sack - Page 2

Blogs > jjun212
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 Next All
TheMusiC
Profile Joined January 2004
United States1054 Posts
July 30 2009 23:36 GMT
#21
5/5 what an awesome blog
Sky
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Jordan812 Posts
July 30 2009 23:46 GMT
#22
Good luck on round two, bud.
...jumping into cold water whenever I get the chance.
DeathByMonkeys
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States742 Posts
July 30 2009 23:46 GMT
#23
Shit happens to everyone... just get back in the game bro.

5/5 i wouldnt have the balls to post that
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 30 2009 23:48 GMT
#24
Also, you should practice unhooking bras until you can do it with one hand. Girls have told me this is a turn-on.
Jayme
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States5866 Posts
July 30 2009 23:50 GMT
#25
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Oh god I lol'd so hard.

Unclasping the bra isn't that hard when you realize they are generally just a hook....

but yea condoms suck... that really will never get better buddy.
Python is garbage, number 1 advocate of getting rid of it.
prOxi.swAMi
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3091 Posts
July 31 2009 00:08 GMT
#26
I haven't laughed that hard in some time. Maybe you like boys?
Oh no
King K. Rool
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada4408 Posts
July 31 2009 00:25 GMT
#27
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

practice putting on a condom beforehand next time lmao.
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
July 31 2009 00:31 GMT
#28
On July 31 2009 07:53 jjun212 wrote:
I think the blood flow down south stopped and it got all soft and wouldn't even go in.

FML

I got so frustrated that I took the condom off and threw it aside. Once I got hard again, I couldn't put that condom back on. WTF, I didn't know it was so difficult to put back on an opened condom.

Don't feel bad about this at all. It's happened to me before with far worse circumstances surrounding it lol....Being anxious, nervous etc will do it to your johnson - That's it that's all.
Methos
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States206 Posts
July 31 2009 00:33 GMT
#29
you can get a bra and practice unclasping it.
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
July 31 2009 01:11 GMT
#30
On July 31 2009 08:20 Rekrul wrote:
nothing wrong with being unable to unhook a bra though

just be like WHAT THE FUCK then she'll laugh and do it herself


its a sliiiiiide of the fingers, kinda like a snap, but a slide. your method works surprisingly well too LOL.

@ op TT
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
July 31 2009 01:55 GMT
#31
OP your honesty makes me smile.

GL with attempt #2.
prOxi.swAMi
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Australia3091 Posts
July 31 2009 02:15 GMT
#32
With the bra all you gotta do is pinch the connecting bit with ur forefinger and thumb and it should just click apart. Tada! gL
Oh no
saritenite
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Singapore1680 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-31 03:26:53
July 31 2009 03:23 GMT
#33
It's simple.

You fast expanded without scouting, and and when you finally sent out a scout, there was a goon wall on the ramp. Unsuspecting, you plant down 4 more factories and research siege in preparation for 2 gate goon pressure. You then wonder why the timing is off so bad.

Then it clicked.

He's going for a reaver drop!
You say "lololol noob, reavers are gay"

In anticipation, you throw down an engineering bay and start your turrets as soon as it finishes. You also throw an academy down to get your admittedly late scanners. Your economy kicks in as you fall into a sense of security. You begin macroing.

Your scanners finish. You scan the main. You see a fleet beacon
"Oh shi-"

Suddenly, 40 scouts appear out of nowhere behind an arbiter and takes out all of your turrets. A battlecruiser makes an appearance. As you begin to flounder in the complete hopelessness and complete confusion of the situation (C'mon man, a Battlecruiser?), you make a decision.

Goliaths, and lots of them. You start an armory on the far side of the map with your initial scout...
Only to find that your scout is missing.

Only then you type "Wtf BCs?"

"Dumbass, I mc'd your scout and expanded all over the map while you were busy typing 'noob'".

You say, "Orly? Share vision?"
And the map suddenly lights up. You now see the folly, the source, of all your tribulations.

You didn't scout.

It may seem lame to plan ahead, but fucking plan ahead.

It's not lame to scout in Starcraft.

Since you're so bad in bed, relate it to Starcraft next time.

You cannot just 1a2a3a your way into the vajayjay.
+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=95315


You may find the answers on how to research stim for your manhood reaver in section 1.9

Props to GrandInquisitor for the guide.
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
July 31 2009 03:50 GMT
#34
I can see it already haha 40 year old virgin
Jangbi storms!!!
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
July 31 2009 04:47 GMT
#35
I'll pray for your cock.

(:
Hello
lilsusie
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
3861 Posts
July 31 2009 04:49 GMT
#36
it's it bad that this post made me go "AWWWWWW" ~~~
Follow me on Twitter for pictures of cute gamers and food! https://twitter.com/lilsusie
Sigh
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2433 Posts
July 31 2009 04:52 GMT
#37
HAHAHAHA the way you told this made it 10x funnier, sorry, i feel for you man.
Good luck the next night =)
NaDa/Flash/Thorzain Fan
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
July 31 2009 06:26 GMT
#38
My first time it also went soft but my then gf shouted at it and it got up...
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
HonestTea *
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
5007 Posts
July 31 2009 06:53 GMT
#39
Just remember - always more than one condom.

You can't 'reattach' a open condom. McGuyver can't even do that. It's impossible.
returns upon momentous occasions.
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
July 31 2009 07:07 GMT
#40
On July 31 2009 11:15 prOxi.swAMi wrote:
With the bra all you gotta do is pinch the connecting bit with ur forefinger and thumb and it should just click apart. Tada! gL


works everytime.

And yeah always practice up with that condom thing, if you take too long of course it's going to go soft on you.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
Prev 1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
2026 GSTL: Main Stage Day 4
CranKy Ducklings140
Discussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
WinterStarcraft520
RuFF_SC2 179
ProTech128
ViBE108
StarCraft: Brood War
Rain 2337
GuemChi 1904
sSak 61
Noble 7
Dota 2
NeuroSwarm192
LuMiX0
League of Legends
JimRising 682
Counter-Strike
summit1g6129
minikerr43
Coldzera 0
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King96
Other Games
XaKoH 369
PiGStarcraft241
Sick159
C9.Mang0150
Livibee122
Maynarde115
[ Show 12 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• davetesta39
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• RayReign 19
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Lourlo841
Other Games
• Scarra905
Upcoming Events
The PondCast
6h 48m
OSC
19h 18m
IntoTheTV X SOOP
1d 7h
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
OSC
3 days
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
3 days
Mixu vs TBD
Spirit vs TBD
Clem vs TBD
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
Soma vs Shuttle
BeSt vs Rush
WardiTV Weekly
4 days
Afreeca Starleague
5 days
Leta vs ggaemo
Jaedong vs Queen
[ Show More ]
GSL
5 days
PiGosaur Cup
5 days
Kung Fu Cup
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-02
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Light Tournament 2026

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
RSL Revival: Season 6
Calamity Invitational
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
Esports World Cup 2026: LCQ
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026

Upcoming

Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - TRS
Escore Tournament S3: King of Kings
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.