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On July 09 2009 12:51 So no fek wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2009 12:46 MetalMarine wrote:On July 09 2009 12:42 So no fek wrote:
That sucks. I always resented my dad growing up, but I knew he loved me. He and my sister (along with my brother's ex wife) basically drove our family into the ground with drugs and such. Then he died when I was 11. On a day to day basis, I don't miss him, but I think that if he had been around a few years longer, and maybe restructured his life towards the end, that I'd be in a better position than I am now.
My sister on the other hand... I could say a lot about her, but the words would be so harsh, that if a mod read it, I'd be taking an extended trip to Disneyland. Basically the most selfish, lazy, and downright disgusting person you will ever meet. Your sister never had a good male role model that's why she is like that. If you are her big bro, you're suppose to take care of that role cause your dad wasn't there. If you're the little bro, then your sister is pretty much FUCKED unless she finds a good boyfriend or something My sister is 34, I'm 19. Edit: She has a boyfriend that she intends to marry. He's in prison, doing 2-10 for GTA, or something.
HAHAHHAHAH oh man... i bid good luck to your sister man.. that laugh is not meant for me to seem like an asshole, but damn .... how does your mom feel about your sis, i'm sure she either gave up on your sis or pretends she doesn't even have one? I mean a mother is suppose to love her kids ... but from what you said about your sister.. i dunno man
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On July 09 2009 12:55 AzureEye wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2009 12:51 So no fek wrote:On July 09 2009 12:46 MetalMarine wrote:On July 09 2009 12:42 So no fek wrote:
That sucks. I always resented my dad growing up, but I knew he loved me. He and my sister (along with my brother's ex wife) basically drove our family into the ground with drugs and such. Then he died when I was 11. On a day to day basis, I don't miss him, but I think that if he had been around a few years longer, and maybe restructured his life towards the end, that I'd be in a better position than I am now.
My sister on the other hand... I could say a lot about her, but the words would be so harsh, that if a mod read it, I'd be taking an extended trip to Disneyland. Basically the most selfish, lazy, and downright disgusting person you will ever meet. Your sister never had a good male role model that's why she is like that. If you are her big bro, you're suppose to take care of that role cause your dad wasn't there. If you're the little bro, then your sister is pretty much FUCKED unless she finds a good boyfriend or something My sister is 34, I'm 19. Edit: She has a boyfriend that she intends to marry. He's in prison, doing 2-10 for GTA, or something. It sounds like you really want to let out your stress. Make a blog about it, I'll listen to you
yea if u wanna let out some stress PM me or something man, I don't even know you, but i feel bad for what shit you have to put up with.
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Voted Yes- On the surface there are no problems since no one talks about anything. But on the rare occasions that someone decides to talk about their feelings or vent stuff out, sigh. It's not pretty.
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On July 09 2009 12:57 MetalMarine wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2009 12:55 AzureEye wrote:On July 09 2009 12:51 So no fek wrote:On July 09 2009 12:46 MetalMarine wrote:On July 09 2009 12:42 So no fek wrote:
That sucks. I always resented my dad growing up, but I knew he loved me. He and my sister (along with my brother's ex wife) basically drove our family into the ground with drugs and such. Then he died when I was 11. On a day to day basis, I don't miss him, but I think that if he had been around a few years longer, and maybe restructured his life towards the end, that I'd be in a better position than I am now.
My sister on the other hand... I could say a lot about her, but the words would be so harsh, that if a mod read it, I'd be taking an extended trip to Disneyland. Basically the most selfish, lazy, and downright disgusting person you will ever meet. Your sister never had a good male role model that's why she is like that. If you are her big bro, you're suppose to take care of that role cause your dad wasn't there. If you're the little bro, then your sister is pretty much FUCKED unless she finds a good boyfriend or something My sister is 34, I'm 19. Edit: She has a boyfriend that she intends to marry. He's in prison, doing 2-10 for GTA, or something. It sounds like you really want to let out your stress. Make a blog about it, I'll listen to you yea if u wanna let out some stress PM me or something man, I don't even know you, but i feel bad for what shit you have to put up with.
Maybe some day I'll take you up on that, but if I were to cover every single thing she's done, it would probably take me a few hours to type it up. Seriously. 
As for your previous post, here's the kicker and where it gets worse. I still live at home with my mom. My sister lives with us. We live in a 1000 (something) sq. ft. two bedroom trailer.
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Men are supposed to be the distant providers and authority figure.
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On July 09 2009 12:39 Xusneb wrote:
your father will never show affection but he still loves you! ... or something.
Hahahaha sorry this is just too funny... haha or something
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After reading the OP I thought the tl;dr would be "I need to buy my dad booze more often".
On-topic though, I almost guarantee you I have more family problems.
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Clazz, we understand your frustration, but it is pretty obvious that your father loves you and wants you to be the absolute best person you can be, ( possibly something he was not able to achieve) and he is trying to do it the only way he knows how, just try to reach an understanding with him, sit him down and talk everything through, or not
On July 09 2009 13:17 Grobyc wrote:
After reading the OP I thought the tl;dr would be "I need to buy my dad booze more often".
On-topic though, I almost guarantee you I have more family problems.
lol if you don`t feel loved enough take grobyc`s advice.
and @ Grobyc this isn`t about who has the most fucked up family.
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On July 09 2009 13:08 ghostWriter wrote:
Asian dads are supposed to be the distant providers and authority figure.
Fixed.
@OP: I feel your pain; I'm in my second year at university and I get grilled constantly by my dad about not working or whatever. What's worse than being compared to your peers is the "when I was your age..." comparison.  Not to marginalize your problem or anything like that, but I think this is pretty common in Asian families.
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Yeah, I hate the comparison thing - it's probably what ticks me off the most.
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It's like when they're reading the Korean papers they see a smart Korean prodigy with a 2400 on the SAT's and got accepted to Harvard and then tell me why the fuck I can't be like him. 
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Smix
United States4549 Posts
Comparing against other 'better' sons/daughters is one thing that really bothers me as well.. but I think this is true with most Asian families. Standards/rankings/grades/manners; the list never ends. =/
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On July 09 2009 12:54 konadora wrote:
Sounds like my family!
Except it's both LOL
But they just let you go get rip roaring drunk last week.
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On July 09 2009 13:27 Etherone wrote:Clazz, we understand your frustration, but it is pretty obvious that your father loves you and wants you to be the absolute best person you can be, ( possibly something he was not able to achieve) and he is trying to do it the only way he knows how, just try to reach an understanding with him, sit him down and talk everything through, or not Show nested quote +On July 09 2009 13:17 Grobyc wrote:
After reading the OP I thought the tl;dr would be "I need to buy my dad booze more often".
On-topic though, I almost guarantee you I have more family problems. lol if you don`t feel loved enough take grobyc`s advice. and @ Grobyc this isn`t about who has the most fucked up family.
Trying to make him feel better in comparison
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yeah, my parents are sweet but i dislike my dad (and sometimes my mom) anyway for similar communication issues as in the OP and the fact that he never listens to me and such. sometimes its a language barrier issue, and that annoys me too, but i know that's not their fault, but sometimes my dad just gets on my nerves soo much.
meh, hopefully it'll go away when i grow up a bit more.
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On July 09 2009 15:36 Smix wrote:
Comparing against other 'better' sons/daughters is one thing that really bothers me as well.. but I think this is true with most Asian families. Standards/rankings/grades/manners; the list never ends. =/
That sounds horrible. I knew asian parents were more fussed about grades, but comparing your children to some perceived 'model' child and blaming them for not being as good as them doesn't sound like very good parenting.
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Have you tried telling your dad that you'd talk to mom later about it?
After a while (15 years or so), I got tired of my mom yelling at me so much so I started just walking away and saying I'd talk to my dad later. Of course it didn't work well at first, but in the long run, it saved me alot of trouble getting yelled at (although now she just yells at my brother all day...)
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Similar situation with me except add on the pressure of having 2 brothers in medical school, one just finishing up residency and going into a fellowship and the other just starting med school. And what you have is me the middle child.
Clazz are you from NJ? I thought I remember something about NJ.
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It's pretty common I'm sure, in fact your dad sounds pretty much exactly like my dad (except replace "drunk" with "high" at the end of your post). Although my mom passed away four years ago and I don't have any siblings, so I don't have anyone to hear my side of any of our arguments. As a result I've learned to just let my dad "win" all of our arguments so I don't have to put up with as many complaints.
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Tell your dad to be thankful that you are even in college and he will live longer. Its proven that people who practice gratitude live an average of 5-7 years longer than those who don't.
Tell him to stop complaining because you could run away and be some druggy on the street in a snap.
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EPT
