You Have Been Deserted XII [6001]

fanatacist

10319 Posts

May 11 2009 23:50 GMT

You have chosen to engage the unknown beast behind the door by picking up Raithed, using him as a meatshield and deterrent, with gun in hand. You have eaten Raithed's arms and brain, who knows what adverse effects there are?

You also realized that you were Asian:

Note: This was supposed to be my 6000th post but I fucked up. Enjoy bitches~

Also, please don't ban me ):

Chapter XII
The TL Staff Edition, Part 1

You walk back to Raithed's smoldering corpse and think of the Harold and Kumar line "it smells like burnt asshole," as you cautiously approach the epitome of what you loath most in the world, mediocrity. You use your sleeves to cover your hands to have at least some defense against the plethora of fucked up things that are related to Raithed as you hoist him up and don him like a shield. You notice that everything around you is starting to get brighter, the lights pulsate, and the water falling on your skin tastes like chocolate sprinkles. You take out your gun and have one good look at yourself before you barge into the dangerous unknown.

You bust down the door and to your horror/pleasure you see the decapitated and defiled body of strat forum newbie, scwizard. His corpse has feces on it and the signs of torture before and after his demise. There can only be one monster so offended by his strategic ignorance, his abominable posts in the strat forum... There can only be one creature responsible for this horror...

THE CHILLDRALISK!!!

The vicious beast attacks with all the rage an aggravated forum moderator with a case of the Napoleonic complex can muster. He slashes at you, you deftly dodge the blow and put the putrid Raithed corpse in the way of his blade-like claw. The hit connects, and the Chilldralisk quickly realizes the impact of what just happened: he has Raithed all over his claw! The expression on his face makes it evident to you that you have a second to take him by surprise and finally subdue the feared Chilldralisk.

You decide to save bullets and in a flash of ingenuity that you trained by finding ways to stay up past 9 pm and play Brood War without your asshole doctor parents finding out you use the ultimate weapon.

"PROTOSS IS THE HARDEST RACE TO PLAY BECAUSE THE UNITS COME OUT SO MUCH SLOWER AND ARE SOOO EXPENSIVE, ZERG IS THE EASY RACE BECAUSE YOU CAN WIN PRETTY MUCH EVERY GAME WITH ZERGLINGS AGAINST ANY RACE!"

You shout this at the top of you lungs. The effect is immediate - seizing and convulsing on the floor, the Chilldralisk foams at the mouth for a few minutes until its head explodes.

Although the strat forum will go to shit now, it was a matter of life and death. You take a moment to pay your respects to the ~~shortest staffmember~~powerful Chilldralisk and explore the room.

You find 2 other doors - Room 69 with an "L. Susie" insignia on it, and Room 666 with two signs; one says "DANGER! TROLLS AHEAD!" while the other has a graffiti tag saying "HAWT_BIDZ WUS HURR."

Poll: You decide to...
(Vote): Enter the lair of "L. Susie"
(Vote): Enter the troll cave of "Hawt_Bidz"

~~VOTING ENDS: 0:01 KST FRIDAY, MAY 15TH~~

VOTING CLOSED!

L. SUSIE'S LAIR!

WHEN?! ~~TBD.~~

Chapter XIII
The TL Staff Edition, Part 2
Coming Saturday KST