How I Believe in God - Page 12

On March 29 2009 13:06 GrayArea wrote:
How I believe in God

Many people, especially on this forum, do not believe in God. After all, there is no proof, no actual evidence. Christians have the Bible which talks about Jesus and his life, Muslims have the Quran, Jews have the Hebrew Bible. Is what is stated in these books enough to justify the belief, the acceptance that some omniscient being exists in this universe who created us and watches over us?

Some people say seeing is believing. In my case, hearing was believing.
I will never forget this day in my entire life, it was the day God spoke to me.

In ninth grade, a new girl joined our class. She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. Our high school was relatively small (about 1000 people), so I knew she was new immediately and I would often see her around campus. I didn't have any classes with her, and whenever I saw her, I would just admire everything about her beauty. It was a typical high school crush. She never talked to me, and I never said a word to her that year.

Fastforward a year to tenth grade. I walked into first period Health class with my best friend, sat down, looked around, didn't notice anyone in particular and went through the class. The second day, as I walked into the room I noticed her sitting in the class and realized that I must have not noticed her on the first day. Naturally my heart jumped, I became super self-conscious, did I look cool? Was every single movement I did perfect? etc etc.

We still never talked, I would sometimes look at her and then when she turn her head to me I would suddenly look away to pretend I was looking at something else (lol, I would cringe on the inside and hope she didn't notice I was looking at her, so stupid). When we would pass in the hall, I would look at her also and sometimes she would notice me. I think she saw in my eyes that I liked her or something, don't know, don't care.

It was in 10th grade that I began to question life. "What is the purpose of life?" was a question that was incessantly bothering me so deeply for such a long time. I would ask my friends what the purpose of life was, and they would respond with "I don't know" "To die" "I haven't thought about it yet" etc. I wasn't satisfied. I come from a religious family, so the fact that God exists was a possibility.

One day, during one of my deep reflections, I was contemplating Gods existence. I closed my eyes and prayed/said to myself that if God really did exist, then tomorrow that girl would say "Hi" to me at school. Basically I was offering a test to God, if God existed he would make this near impossible thing happen.

Next day was a hearing/vision test at school. They test the hearing and vision of every student and determine whether or not that student has any weaknesses. It was during first period health class that we had our test. Along with several other classes, we went to line up outside the trailer where they would test our hearing. Finally, when my turn came, a group of us students went in (like 11 of us). In that group was her. Because it was in the trailer type of thing, the seats were faced such that two rows were facing each other and each seat had side panels (like a booth). I was at the second seat from the end of one row, she was at the opposite row at the end (so like 4 seats distance). We were waiting for the test to begin. Some of the students were talking with each other. I was just sitting forward in my seat. Randomly, from the right, I hear "Hey GrayArea." I didn't look at her, nor did I say anything or make any change in my expression. Again I hear, "Hey GrayArea, did you really have an A in Hilmerson?"I turned my head to face her, saw she was looking to me, and then I turned my face back straight without saying anything and sat back in my chair so she couldn't see me. She asked the question again, this time I told her yes.

After the hearing test was the vision test. Our group was the last group to go in for the vision test. For some reason, mine and her tests took longer than the other peoples'. Because of this we were the only two still taking the test while everyone else went back to class. Finally, my test finished before hers, and I walked out and was heading back to class. Suddenly I hear, "Hey GrayArea, wait for me!" I looked around and noticed her running towards me as she tried to catch up. I slowed down so she could reach me, and we walked back to class together. I asked her if what grade she had in Hilmerson (Hilmerson is the name of a really hard English teacher that taught 10th grade). She said she had a B. That was all we said to each other, but for some reason I felt my attraction to her go away. I had gotten my impossible answer from God and was blown away.

Why was it that over the period of 1 and half years that this girl didn't say one single word to me, that on this very day she said Hey to me? Why was it that on she happened to talk to me on the very day that I had asked God to make her talk to me? Coincidence? Maybe. Culmination of all the times I looked at her and she noticed? Maybe. Luck? Perhaps. I don't know. What I do know is that from this day I realized God had responded to me, and that somehow, somewhere I knew someone/something heard me.

I don't consider this event to be the sole experience which verified to me that God existed. That would be pure stupidity. After all, like I said, it could have been coincidence. But, it provided for me the stepping stone I needed to take the leap of faith of believing in God. Whenever I prayed, I prayed with a sense of knowing someone was listening. I could feel something inside which felt as though God was within me. Every time I would close my eyes and pray to God, some energy would burst from within me filling me with this warmth.

Why? Because I prayed with the genuine belief that I knew God existed. Prior to that, I would pray with some uncertainty. Was anyone listening to me? Was I just wasting my time? There was no strong, central belief that allowed me to pray with my full heart.

What is God? Is God some external being that exists somewhere far away in space and is viewing the world somehow? Does he exist in heaven (where is heaven though in space?)? Is God some kind of essence that resides within our bodies? Is God just an idea created by our minds in order to help make us feel as though we have a purpose and place in this world and that someone is watching over us?

I can't answer any of these questions. What I can tell you though is that God to me is someone who is the source of that energy I feel when I pray, listens to me, and has an effect on my life and the world around me.

this is one of the stupidest things I've ever read. You believe in something that is part god part genie.