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My Confession [Starcraft]

Blogs > G.s)NarutO
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1 2 Next All
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
March 04 2009 09:47 GMT
#1
Could be a pretty long post and also for some people probably "ridiculous" but thats just how it is


This is my confession

First of all - no, I don't hack and never hacked before. You didn't expect that - did you?
Its more like a confession to myself. Starcraft is a game we all love, we share the same passion and I'm really glad that you can make friends and have fun just because of a "game".
It was a great experience meeting people from Teamliquid and other community sites in Paris at Blizzard World Wide Invitational 2008 or in Cologne at WCG 2008.

I loved playing Broodwar from the beginning and I still love it, but right now I'm going through a time where I'm a little bit more known, a little bit better than I used to be when I started obviously and that is exactly what makes me struggle.
When I play on iccup - knowing that I'm a good player since I can beat A- players in practice games - it just seems that I cannot maintain what I have learned.

Its like I completely lose my confidence in a ladder game which results in me doing either non common builds or builds which are easy to counter. I'm not confident in my standard game anymore which results in losing a lot of games against inferior opponents and since I'm really eager and passionate I'll get angry and lose even more.

I always force myself to play as much standard as possible with a few variations in my game that I'm not too predictable. I always get told that you get worse before you get better, but right now I'm feeling like I just have a mindblockade.

Its not even my attitude. I'm trying to start the game with "yes, you will beat him or at least put up a decent fight". I really don't care if my opponent has 40-0 or 20-20 and I really don't know what keeps me from playing standard.

My friends told me that I'm probably no ladder-player even though I love to play as much as possible. Its probably really hard to imagine for you guys that you want to play like a fast expansion but you just do a 2 factory build, because you are not confident at all.

Also I'm too eager and take the game too serious which results in me insulting players which totally don't deserve it. Obviously I know its wrong and I should just gg and quit, maybe take a break etc. But I just can't take a break when losing.

I want to use this thread to apologise to all people I've ever insulted. I know its not right and its nothing personally. (latest incident was Shauni if I remember correct - sorry.)

I beg of you to not flame or trashtalk in this thread.
Do you have anything that bothers you when playing? Anything that totally screws your mind and makes you struggle?


***
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
foodontable
Profile Joined June 2006
China341 Posts
March 04 2009 09:50 GMT
#2
Take a short break. Do something else. Come back to it when you are more calm.
AttackZerg
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
United States7699 Posts
March 04 2009 09:55 GMT
#3
Bro. Its called terran rage. Every terran player that starts to get good becomes a moody bastard at least some of the time.

By remember just because your good doesn't make someone else bad. Shauni as far as most communites are concerned is better then you. Why wouldn't you rather get raped standard then doing some shit that even if you win, you won't feel that great.

Your TvP and TvZ are fucking great. You need to just be a god damn man and force yourself to play your standard game. Your only handing out free wins when you do anything else.
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
March 04 2009 09:58 GMT
#4
On March 04 2009 18:55 AttackZerg wrote:
Bro. Its called terran rage. Every terran player that starts to get good becomes a moody bastard at least some of the time.

By remember just because your good doesn't make someone else bad. Shauni as far as most communites are concerned is better then you. Why wouldn't you rather get raped standard then doing some shit that even if you win, you won't feel that great.

Your TvP and TvZ are fucking great. You need to just be a god damn man and force yourself to play your standard game. Your only handing out free wins when you do anything else.



I didn't say Shauni was bad, but he won with I suppose 10/15 gate and I insulted him, thats why I apologised. T_T Thanks for your support Bro!
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
hymn
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Bulgaria832 Posts
March 04 2009 10:10 GMT
#5
On March 04 2009 18:47 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Do you have anything that bothers you when playing? Anything that totally screws your mind and makes you struggle?

When the Zerg denies me scouting while I do the 4 gate 2 archon with speedzeal push. I usually end up raped by quick hydras. After a game like this I end up tilting and proxy 9/9 gates in the middle of the map for 2-3 games just so I can calm down.

And if you're enraged sometimes it's OK. I mean no one expects you to have Jaedong's killer face after a humiliating defeat and we all have those defeats sometimes. I guess that's especially true to very good terrans losing to inferior protoss executing the 10/15 gates build properly.

Indeed take a break for a few days IMO.
azk he is the north american player but the titan he is the french stars
Biff The Understudy
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
France8222 Posts
March 04 2009 10:12 GMT
#6
Play for fun.

Seems you completely lose the fun of this game while laddering. The objective while playing starcraft is to have fun, not to win at any price. Nobody care about you being A- or D+. Anyway, only player who really enjoy the game are succesfull.

Be imaginative, do funny strats, innovate, enjoy. Developate your own builds. Play with style. Play against players who are not always over-challenging for you. Go battlecruiser against zerg, nuke against toss and loackdown against dragoons.

And when you feel ready not to take the result too seriously, go back to ladders.

That's my 2 cents.
The fellow who is out to burn things up is the counterpart of the fool who thinks he can save the world. The world needs neither to be burned up nor to be saved. The world is, we are. Transients, if we buck it; here to stay if we accept it. ~H.Miller
AttackZerg
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
United States7699 Posts
March 04 2009 10:17 GMT
#7
bifftheunderstudy, wise advice.

I keep at all times accounts in the C-/C range so I can just have fun and relax!

VIB
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Brazil3567 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-04 10:23:36
March 04 2009 10:22 GMT
#8
Try to stop playing for 2 weeks or 3, then come back. You'll have a fresh mind with fresh ideas, and your subconscious will proly have forgotten about your problems of the past (much of it might have to do with your "finger memory" or whatever you call it, just being used to do the same thing over and over). Worked for me once ^^
Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.
Ellis
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
247 Posts
March 04 2009 13:02 GMT
#9
For some odd reason, I used to get nervous and strange about playing ladder games. This happened really recently. It just makes me not want to play, as if there's no point and I won't enjoy it. Then I force myself to play a few games and I have fun.

But yeah, take a break for a while.
Liquid`Ret
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Netherlands4540 Posts
March 04 2009 13:24 GMT
#10
it makes me struggle when newbies try really hard to micro wraiths and pick off as many drones as possible when I know I'm about to roll them over 2 minutes later cuz they didn't macro and only micro'ed their idiot wraiths
Team Liquid
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
March 04 2009 13:25 GMT
#11
On March 04 2009 22:24 ret wrote:
it makes me struggle when newbies try really hard to micro wraiths and pick off as many drones as possible when I know I'm about to roll them over 2 minutes later cuz they didn't macro and only micro'ed their idiot wraiths


You are so mean hahaha! Looking forward to friday and meet you :D
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26004 Posts
March 04 2009 13:32 GMT
#12
Play the game as it is, not as you want it to be.

On March 04 2009 22:24 ret wrote:
it makes me struggle when newbies try really hard to micro wraiths and pick off as many drones as possible when I know I'm about to roll them over 2 minutes later cuz they didn't macro and only micro'ed their idiot wraiths

Yes I laugh at this situation a lot.
Moderator
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-04 13:53:43
March 04 2009 13:51 GMT
#13
There's absolutely nothing wrong with BM. Anger is a natural thing, and repressing it can only hurt you.

It's up to the other player to not take it personally and realize that you're just in fact angry with yourself.

I've mostly been to gm, but I realize it's sometimes better just to cuss for a minute and then get over it.

P.S. My theory is that the authentic good mannered players don't get angry, that's why they're good mannered. It's not like this is a competition: Who can repress their anger best?
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
March 04 2009 14:06 GMT
#14
nerd rage is a strong force my young friend
Malongo
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Chile3479 Posts
March 04 2009 14:27 GMT
#15
Baller confesion. It takes balls from relatively known player to admit bm. But its not too bad, i guess most of the people have done it (ok me too ) and those who havent done it dont bother too much anyways (but obviously there is something wrong about that, blaming your apponent about a competition is stupid if the competition is fair).

What you need to regain your confidence: Anger management, experience and over anything: wish. Wish to become better player, wish to accomplish a selfimposed goal, that is what you should be looking for.
Put yourself a goal, a small one. You have problems about a BO when playing ladder? goal: keep the BO up to 10 minutes mark, forget about the game itself. Ten minutes is too much you made silly mistakes? make it less: 5 minutes against the same opponent or similar situation.

The experience grows always the same way, and experience is the only way to become better (and this is about anything in life). The only thing you cant see is that as the level increases it becomes harder and harder to do it better, so you are aiming too high when you want to win a game directly as you are reaching you limits. Lets say it took you 10 games to pass from D to D+. Or 50 to become B->B+ or wichever rank you are. Its just a matter of fact that it will take 100 or more to reach A-. You are now fighting for smaller goals/gains than a game and should be focusing everytime in more details.

What i see from your post is that you lost your confidence because you cant win, and you cant win games you took for granted before. Just stop aiming to win directly, aim to get better at small steps, just like the beggining when you started learning a BO.
Help me! im still improving my English. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. M. G.
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-04 16:08:07
March 04 2009 16:04 GMT
#16
fly to korea imo

save 5k before

1 year clan house gogo

only way to make it right !


edit : won is actually so dirty cheap right now, with a few euros, you'd be close to the wealth of Saudi Prince over the clan house >.>

FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
March 04 2009 16:24 GMT
#17
actively seek out players you know will fucking destroy you

go into the matches with no intentions but to learn from how you lose

from there you will improve just like you improved to the point you're at now. it's all relative, and stagnation will fuck anyone if it's bad enough
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
Nyovne
Profile Joined March 2006
Netherlands19141 Posts
March 04 2009 17:11 GMT
#18
On March 04 2009 22:24 ret wrote:
it makes me struggle when newbies try really hard to micro wraiths and pick off as many drones as possible when I know I'm about to roll them over 2 minutes later cuz they didn't macro and only micro'ed their idiot wraiths

*waves*

Thats me

I come with a 3 rax mnm followup right after and hope I did enough dmg so theyre kinda stuck on a hydras with not too many sunks or with muta scourge to combat the wraiths .

After that Im pretty much fucked, my followthroughs are terrible :D.
ModeratorFor remember, that in the end, some are born to live, others born to die. I belong to those last, born to burn, born to cry. For I shall remain alone... forsaken.
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
March 04 2009 17:42 GMT
#19
On March 04 2009 22:24 ret wrote:
it makes me struggle when newbies try really hard to micro wraiths and pick off as many drones as possible when I know I'm about to roll them over 2 minutes later cuz they didn't macro and only micro'ed their idiot wraiths


OMG yes that makes me mad as fuck... played some game like that yesterday. This terran was trying everything he could possibly do, running vults around and microing like his life depended on it, dropping me, etc.

Meanwhile he has only 1 expand and I Have 4 base and 4439x units than him T___T!

(this is at D level though, )
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
eXigent.
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada2419 Posts
March 04 2009 18:06 GMT
#20
I always found you to be a great player naruto. I hope whatever stress you are feeling goes away, and you can get back to enjoying the game more. Personally, if I were to hit the B/B+ level and was able to maintain such a ranking, I would stop playing foreigners and concentrate on playing pure koreans with the hope to take my game to the next level. (Seeing as how last season and this season are hands down the best time in bw history to practice and learn from top korean semi-pros etc).
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