Often the steps we take to avoid destiny lead us to it. ~ Turtle, Kung Fu Panda.
I have been thinking a lot lately at what stage my life is at currently and what I should do about it, should I do something drastic and hope for the best, try my hardest to start focusing on the positives instead of the negatives even though it seems the cons always outnumber pros.
I have been diabetic for almost nine years, I constantly think what would my life be like if I wasn't diagnosed with Diabetes, I could have joined the Navy which would have been a gateway to see the world and get an education with great benefits to boot, but I remind myself if I did not have diabetes I may or may not have joined the Navy, I am just thinking of what if's too much. Nor will I be able to Scuba Dive which is something I have always wanted to do.
My dream since I can remember is too see the world, the Pyramids, The Great Wall, the Amazon, London, Tokyo, Paris, even follow the route of Marco Polo. All the while Writing, being a Photographer. Each day it seems more like a pipe dream. I find myself cynical towards people who are able to travel with no care in the world, it pisses me off that some people can just ask mom and dad for cash so they can go to Spain etc, all the while having a great time here at home as well. I wonder what the fuck is wrong with the world sometimes, or it's just me.
I have been told all my life that at 30 it is pretty much certain that where I am in life is what I will be expecting for the remainder of said life. Settle down, get married etc at this time of life. My family has pretty much followed this course give or take a few years. I am 23, seven years left and the farthest I have been is California and that was when I was 12 or something with my Grandparents meeting other family members. Still in college, and not a fucking cent to my name. Only had one credit card and well, read and look and see how I fucked that up. Seems like my shitty judgment, or just something keeps setting me back.
As well with my Grandfather's death I don't feel like anything is holding me down, or even here for me anymore.
I have often thought of what it would take if one day after a good week and nice check from work I just gassed up and drove off to the ocean and looked for a job and tried to settle down wherever I ended up. Or even more ambitious try and save up $2,000 or get a loan, extremely unlikely, from a family member. Fly to say Galway, Ireland and see if I could get a job there. I have always wanted to see Europe, why not start in Ireland? I remember actually spotting a vacation deal on Travelocity for around 900 bucks. But who is to know how that would work out? I can't just assume luck would be on my side when past events have shown that that pretty much isn't the case. Then again, how would I settle down, license to drive and so forth, work permit, visa, and millions of other details, not counting furthering my education which is something I eagerly want to do. That is if I could find a job!
What I don't want to do is find myself still in a city that I have lived in since I was three, still not knowing what could have been and god knows wondering what would be like if I was ambitious enough to try something crazy like living overseas or something of that nature.
I just feel like life is passing me by, and there is no time left if I even tried. I have got to do something. If only life could be like the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and know that there is some sort of happy ending, it still sucks that he never saw the world. I also don't think Frank Capra is anywhere near to being a religious deity just yet.
7 years isn't a small amount of time. Things can easily change if you put your heart into it. I'm more of an optimist nowadays so I don't believe in the notion that where you are at 30 means you are stuck there for the rest of your life. Maybe if you have that mindset.
Also, fate controlling your lives only works if you are missing limbs, have a fatal illness, or you are in a children's animated cartoon movie starring a kung fu panda.
I also recommend staying in college because opportunity is a lot greater with a degree rather than simply a high school diploma.
This is a pretty lame quote but I saw it on the wall of my gym
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do"
you sir, are a coward. if you believe yourself intelligent enough and competent enough to survive overseas and deal with trouble, then by god get off your ass. you dont seem like a person who die due to starvation while still in society, so you must be afraid to go. you hold yourself back with excuses. there are options, if there weren't, you wouldn't have a computer to post this.
if realism is what it takes for you to achieve your goal of seeing the world, then go do it. which is worse, working your back off now for that money you need to accomplish what you define your life as, or the pain you burden for years being the person that you hate the most.
life is short, its shorter if you live in fantasy of your desire. go where you desire with our best wishes behind you, just repay them with your stories.
well, it certainly does make life interesting to just up and move somewhere on a whim, but it's not a light decision made from watching movies and buying into that 'follow your heart' stuff. depending on your financial situation and priorities this can either be the event that defines/starts the rest of your life or a total disaster that sets you back a few years. perhaps a bit like poker, in that for every single person who pulls this off there are countless more who have failed.
be honest with your reasons. do you really think this is an environment you can succeed in, or just a passing fancy? will you be able to put the effort in, and not just pray for some magical change in self? do not be doing something like this out of desperation or frustration, it will be a pure waste of time. keep a level head. do your research, probably go visit (or at least look up stuff and accounts that are more descriptive and deeper than those of the touristy nature), and list out the jobs you would be applying for, ways of spending your free time. get started on visas and blah blah blah early because those things may take a while. it is definitely a lot of work.
to balance out the practical tone, the quotes 'how you spend your days is how you spend your life' and 'it is better to regret something you've done than something you didn't do' come to mind. take what you will from them.
just free yourself of those adjectives that you surround yourself and go out and explore the world. If you don't have money, work hard and earn that money (jobs// pokar lol) and follow your dreams. Don't fall into despair, that's the worst thing of all.
Think of someone you respect or even yourself and imagine them standing behind you every second of every day. What would they have to say to you after watching you for a week or so, knowing your dreams and aspirations? Would they say that you've tried your hardest, done your best, and this is as far as you can go? Or would they say you can do better.
Few people can honestly say they gave it their all to pursue their dream, forgoing short term gain and instant gratification for the strength required to attain what they really want. I'm confident most people that have it in them to do this do eventually get what they want. If you want to see the world as much as you say you do, it's your dream, then do what is needed. Try writing up a list of everything you do and the time intervals you do them in, you'd be surprised how much useless stuff most people do. Often spending most of their time lamenting that they don't have the time to accomplish what they want.
I'm in the exact same position that you're in right now. I'm trying my best to stay focus on school work and such, but I find it harder and harder to do so. I also see the world somewhat similar to you... suffocating, not letting you breath or act on the things you would rather be doing.
Don't know how much advice I can honestly give you seeing that I'm three years younger than you are. But for what its worth I think we all come to a point that reflects the state your in right now. Wondering what were going to do with our lives and is this all life really has to offer. People want to act on instinct and do the things that will give you pleasure now and not think about long term. Reminds me of a movie I saw, I think it was "Fuck Amal" where a teenage girl having trouble in school says to her dad, "I don't care about being happy later on in life, I want to be happy now". But what we do now adversely affects the things we can do later.
Kinda of went off in a tangent, but honestly weigh your options if you truly feel suffocated take a semester off to do what you want to. I think your in grad school or med school seeing that you've said you work in a hospital, but if your almost done with school I say finish it. But if you have a lot more to go take a semester off, but make sure to think about what your going to do. Your "new" life can suck as much as your old one if not be worse. Good luck to you.
On March 02 2009 20:43 PH wrote: A good friend of mine was in the Navy for three years. He just got out. He hated it. Don't join the Navy.
I was in the Navy for six years. I left service last August. I've been to over ten different countries, lived abroad for two years, and now get paid $1,782.00/monthly just to attend college full-time.
The Navy is what you make it.
(This is not to say, however, that I wasn't miserable at times. But in retrospect, I would do it all over again because of the huge opportunities made available to me. I've seen more of the world than any of my friends and I'm not, nor will I ever be, knee-deep in educational debt thanks to the G.I. bill).
On March 03 2009 06:29 BuGzlToOnl wrote: I'm in the exact same position that you're in right now. I'm trying my best to stay focus on school work and such, but I find it harder and harder to do so. I also see the world somewhat similar to you... suffocating, not letting you breath or act on the things you would rather be doing.
Don't know how much advice I can honestly give you seeing that I'm three years younger than you are. But for what its worth I think we all come to a point that reflects the state your in right now. Wondering what were going to do with our lives and is this all life really has to offer. People want to act on instinct and do the things that will give you pleasure now and not think about long term. Reminds me of a movie I saw, I think it was "Fuck Amal" where a teenage girl having trouble in school says to her dad, "I don't care about being happy later on in life, I want to be happy now". But what we do now adversely affects the things we can do later.
Kinda of went off in a tangent, but honestly weigh your options if you truly feel suffocated take a semester off to do what you want to. I think your in grad school or med school seeing that you've said you work in a hospital, but if your almost done with school I say finish it. But if you have a lot more to go take a semester off, but make sure to think about what your going to do. Your "new" life can suck as much as your old one if not be worse. Good luck to you.
My work at the Hospital was straight up Admissions/Customer Service, I now work at UPS. I wish I was in med or grad school. Working on my Associate, go ahead laugh.
Also the though of joining the Navy is just that, a thought, I'm diabetic the military does not take Diabetics.
I'm turning 31 this year, and nothing is fixed in life if you don't want it to be. Just a month ago I crossed another thing off my to-do list in life which was going into the Sahara desert on a camel. The next two are visiting the South Pole and going into space. Those will happen too. Somehow.
At 23 you're just barely getting started.
I know some people really liked this (as it pertains to goals):
EPT
Just chill and have fun tbh
