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So I've been up all night, reading stories... watching youtube, listening to music... killing time (sadly)
Then I ran by some old blogging Korean site where this girl I was in love with still has her page. I checked it out and haven't really been in contact with her for 3 years and suddenly, looking at her pictures, it brought back all those memories of love and despair. (Was one sided... very one sided)
I believe it to be one of those "love" moments that every person remembers in their life, and for most guys, something that causes them to really stiffen up or to man-up.
Because of the girl I was in love with, I've changed a lot of things in my life. But long story short, I just can't look at any girl in terms of "love" ever... I mean I still see A LOT of hot ass girls on campus and am able to go out on dates and even tried to get serious with one girl but broke up because I could just never commit fully.
I blame this on myself comparing every girl to the girl in the past. It sucks... I don't know if I will ever get a gf.
Not just to have one but I mean, I don't think I can ever find a girl that can woo me the way the other girl did.
Anyone else have something similar? =\
I don't think I have a "playa" gene. It's just.. I donno... =\
 
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United States20667 Posts
Oh, definitely.
Almost the exact same with me. Just can't put my heart into it.
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
Why don't I have a girlfriend? I think because I am socially inadequate. Thanks internet.
+ Show Spoiler +
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Starcraft is my girlfriend
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Crippling self esteem, and being fat. Woohoo!
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I "dated" a ton of girls in high school, probably like 2-3 per year, although it was more like hooking up for a few months and then moving on. Since I've been in college I haven't dated any girls or even actively tried to get a girlfriend. For me, it just seems to not be a priority. I see plenty of hot chicks and I flirt plenty in classes, but I never take it to the next level or ask anyone out, because I just don't seem to care right now in my life. I don't know why this is. I don't feel unsatisfied or unhappy, I feel perfectly fine. I work out, I try to maintain a good body image and be attractive to girls, I just don't feel any compulsion or desire to actively pursue any kind of relationship.
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You don't compare girls with the one from your past, but with the one in your head, roughly based on the one from the past.
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Man I understand completely what you're talking about, I'm in the exact same position as you. One sided love -> no serious feelings for anyone else even after you've "moved on" (if such a thing is possible).
The part that sucks the most is when I try to force myself into something I always end up running away from it after a short while and hurting the girl that's interested in me. I'm no player either and I hate hurting people, it sucks.
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On February 18 2009 20:20 jjun212 wrote:
I blame this on myself comparing every girl to the girl in the past. It sucks... I don't know if I will ever get a gf.
I kinda have been in a situation like this. Around 4 years ago when my gf broke with me I was very sad. I tried to date a few girls and I felt like you describe, comparing them all to the first girl. But for me it only lasted a few weeks. Once I realized what I am doing and how it's in fact crippling my relations with people I just decided not to do it. To force my brain not to compare the girls. So in some time this feeling disappeared. I guess one blowjob on a party and 2-3 ecstasy pills also helped me immensely.
But I feel for you, dude, I really do.
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I actually feel the same Noobs, although my lack of interested in a relationship is self induced at the moment. A few years ago I would have said a lack of self confidence and a lack of game. These days, I honestly don't have the time, at least for another 5-6 months. Over the last year I have been really actively getting involved in fitness and sports which turned from a hobby to an obsession, so whatever time I am not spending at work or asleep I am spending at the gym or playing golf.
As a result of all the activity, healthy living and exercise I have gotten pretty fit and toned which has dramatically increased my self confidence, along with more of zero commitment social life, I have really improved my social skills.
So I basically just go out drinking every other Fri/Sat night and try to hook up with someone. At no point have I felt the desire to start a relationship though. Working 6 days a week at the moment, spending all my free time at the gym leaves me Sundays which is my chillaxation time. I honestly wouldn't know where to fit it in.
I don't know anything about love, but I do miss the feeling of being smitten over someone. When you can't wait to see them, talk to them, or them having the ability to cheer up your shitty day merely by calling you and saying "hi". I don't know what that is, but I have only ever felt it a couple of times in my life.
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On February 18 2009 21:05 Energies wrote:
I don't know anything about love, but I do miss the feeling of being smitten over someone. When you can't wait to see them, talk to them, or them having the ability to cheer up your shitty day merely by calling you and saying "hi". I don't know what that is, but I have only ever felt it a couple of times in my life.
You sir, seem to know more about love than you openly admit here. A beautiful description of love. Thank you!
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On February 18 2009 20:57 Navane wrote:
You don't compare girls with the one from your past, but with the one in your head, roughly based on the one from the past.
ding ding. and once you realize the girl from the past isnt the one in your head, and no girl you will ever meet can compare to the one in your head.. it becomes easier..
at least, til that girl from the past comes back every few months and reminds you >_<
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because I've much rather fuck and forget.
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Belgium8305 Posts
damn.. how did you know i don't have a gf
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
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On February 18 2009 20:31 Racenilatr wrote:
Starcraft is my girlfriend
mine is my computer
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at some point, you gotta get back on the saddle and try again
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On February 18 2009 21:05 Energies wrote:
I don't know anything about love, but I do miss the feeling of being smitten over someone. When you can't wait to see them, talk to them, or them having the ability to cheer up your shitty day merely by calling you and saying "hi". I don't know what that is, but I have only ever felt it a couple of times in my life.
I am feeling exactly this
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Welcome to the age of Internets. The information superhighway, where chicks are megabytes streaming onto your HDD through your torrent client. Forget troublesome exchange of bodily fluids -- humanity has evolved beyond that, and we have the Pentagon to thank for it.
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EPT
