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My view on parenting... - Page 2

Blogs > YPang
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sprawlers
Profile Joined June 2007
Norway439 Posts
January 17 2009 03:45 GMT
#21
wow.. that is so riddiculous.. 7 hours on your freetime and you are 17? Never heard of anyone working close to that much over here. Those who study "a lot" work 1 or 2 hours a day, the majority doesn't do more than maybe 7 hours a year, not including the last month before exams. Oh well we generally perform poorly on international tests too though, guess it has a price to be chiiill.
ams1
Profile Joined January 2007
United States2 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-17 03:54:09
January 17 2009 03:46 GMT
#22
"i want you to be a doctor so you dont have to worry about getting laid off".

That is not necessarily true (indirectly)... Do some research about the current state of medicine. It is not exactly in shambles, but it is not even close to the glory days of the past when cardiothoracic surgeons made millions performing CABGs (just an example). For starters, you can start with the current state of primary care... This post may not help you understand what it is like currently in the world of medicine and that is because I don't even know where to begin.

By no means am I trying to discourage you from pursuing the path to becoming a physician. I'm just saying be careful of the stuff you parents feed you about being a doctor. I think I can safely say, asian parents (unless they are physicians employed in the states) are incredibly ignorant about the current state of medicine. Having that said, no one really knows what the future holds for medicine (you can probably say that about other occupations as well). For example, anesthegiology was one of the easiest to match into for residency and looked down upon in medicine but now... it's one of the most difficult to match into. Needless to say, it is a lucrative field in medicine and the hours and lifestyle are friendlier than most of the fields in medicine.

Edit: Okay, I realized that was a bad example. What I really was trying to hit home here was, medicine isn't doing so hot right now. Now some may argue that the grass is greener on the other side, but after investing 4 years of medical school, x number of years of residency (depends on which residency) and fellowship (if you choose to), an amazing amount of debt, crappy pay as resident and/or fellow... well, I hope you get the point. But because there is so much government intervention and politics involved in medicine right now, how medicine (in general) will do a few years from now, no one really knows. You better know this is your calling.
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
January 17 2009 03:51 GMT
#23
I actually don't want to be a physician, to be honest going through all that medical school and missing out on a HUGE part of my 20-35 yearhood to me is just not worth to be super rich in my 40's... I already feel like i missed a lot of my teenage life, and i really hoped that it wouldn't be that way.

To be honest i have no idea what im interested in as of now, i enjoy science especially chemistry/biology, but going to school for that long don't appeal to me, and makes me lose interest in that job...
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
ams1
Profile Joined January 2007
United States2 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-17 04:01:21
January 17 2009 04:00 GMT
#24
Well, I mean you still have a lot of time to decide. That's what college is for I guess. Sorry to come off as condescending. I've just been hearing a lot of people lately who want to pursue a path in the field of medicine lately because it is a stable and lucrative occupation. Must be due to the current economy but it is not entirely true.
TheFlashyOne
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada450 Posts
January 17 2009 04:03 GMT
#25
dude...if your parents are correctly assuming ( i hope) that you won't transform yourself into a thug life gangsta flashing triad gang signs and robbin' people left and right, then i suppose the sole purpose of their half-ass attempt at monitoring you is to force you to get high marks. (half-ass because lets face it...no one can be totally monitored into studying all day...you're not always home..and when you are , you can pretend that you're studying while in fact you're honing your Starcraft skills, just close your door..or use alt-tab)

So everything must be revolving around marks. Yet you dont mention them at all in your OP. If you do get high grades, what can your parents say? Also..talk to your parents..not your friends..confront the source of the problem and ask them concretely how high they want you to score and you'll agree with them whether it's realistic or not. You wont score necessarily higher if you study 7 to 12 hours a day. Especially in high school. You'll be braindead by then and wont feel like learning anything more. ..what you need to do is to study your ass off in a reasonable and well-structured schedule. Work Hard, Play hard, keep a balance.

P.S. being a doctor is the worst way to

A. Make lots of money
B. Be happy
C. Have time freedom in your life.
Don't Spend your Life Dreaming, Live your Dream
ShaperofDreams
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2492 Posts
January 17 2009 04:04 GMT
#26
Ypang, I can give you the opposite story since i am 17 years old, do very little studying, and have always had a lot of freedom from my parents. I think that a strict childhood is not a must-have for success, I have fucked up my grades and my academic life multiple times, but i honestly have no regrets. i am going into fine arts (visual arts and literature) in unniversity, and my parents (who are also artistic) don't mind at all that i am going into such a disregarded field, my theory is that if you try hard you can be successful in anything. I have wished that my parents would disipline me more sometimes, when i was unsure of my future (i am still a little unsure) but i think that it all comes down to the will of the person in the end. If you are pursueing something you do not want to do, you can not be satisfied, you can only satisfy other people. However, since most people do not know what they want to do, it is a good thing for their parents to guide them into a safe field, if you find a passion in something, do not be afraid to drop what you are doing and transfer into a different program. I have no regrets about my past, i have done crazy things, stupid things, and very fun things as well, and i have no regrets about my future because i have faith that doing what i want will make me successful, however, i also live in Vancouver, Canada and there is a higher than average number of job opportunities, i do not know the situation of where you live, but the most important thing is your work ethic, if you study 7 hours a day to become a doctor and find another passion, switch! because if you study 7 hours a day for anything you will be successful at it. Right now i have a sub-par work ethic but i am picking up and growing up i guess, i will be able to go to post-secondary education, but i cannot say what i will do after that.
Bitches don't know about my overlord. FUCK OFF ALDARIS I HAVE ENOUGH PYLONS. My Balls are as smooth as Eggs.
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
January 17 2009 04:12 GMT
#27
On January 17 2009 13:03 TheFlashyOne wrote:
dude...if your parents are correctly assuming ( i hope) that you won't transform yourself into a thug life gangsta flashing triad gang signs and robbin' people left and right, then i suppose the sole purpose of their half-ass attempt at monitoring you is to force you to get high marks. (half-ass because lets face it...no one can be totally monitored into studying all day...you're not always home..and when you are , you can pretend that you're studying while in fact you're honing your Starcraft skills, just close your door..or use alt-tab)

So everything must be revolving around marks. Yet you dont mention them at all in your OP. If you do get high grades, what can your parents say? Also..talk to your parents..not your friends..confront the source of the problem and ask them concretely how high they want you to score and you'll agree with them whether it's realistic or not. You wont score necessarily higher if you study 7 to 12 hours a day. Especially in high school. You'll be braindead by then and wont feel like learning anything more. ..what you need to do is to study your ass off in a reasonable and well-structured schedule. Work Hard, Play hard, keep a balance.

P.S. being a doctor is the worst way to

A. Make lots of money
B. Be happy
C. Have time freedom in your life.


Lol, you actually hit me right on the nail, i do play starcraft whenever their not home, and the reason behind that is obviously i can't play it when they are home. However my grades are not as high as my parents would like them to be, i'm satisfied with it though. I usually get a little over 50% worth of A's.

But meh, you have no idea how hard it is to convince asian parents of something, my parents ( prob shouldn't generalize a whole nation) are very narrow minded and won't take new suggestions unless they've been exposed to it for a LOONG time. I do study though only when i feel like it, i feel that all my parent's efforts in forcing me to study is not working, and i still do w/e i feel like basically. All they've done is limited the things that i can do in my free time ( some of them are hanging with friends and running track/cross country).
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
January 17 2009 05:26 GMT
#28
OMFG YANG IM NOT EVEN GOING TO READ YOUR WORTHLESS BULLSHIT. I have better things to do in my time. Like fuck your mother.....I'll leave a map of hawaii on her jaw. It fits well.
ya had ya shot kid!
Ilvy
Profile Joined September 2002
Germany2445 Posts
January 17 2009 12:14 GMT
#29
On January 17 2009 14:26 Kennelie wrote:
OMFG YANG IM NOT EVEN GOING TO READ YOUR WORTHLESS BULLSHIT. I have better things to do in my time. Like fuck your mother.....I'll leave a map of hawaii on her jaw. It fits well.


seems like you are a propper example where you could see parents failed to teach respect.

Times changed a lot and it becaame more hard to find a perfect way to educate your kids. These days kids expect more freedom, the risk to get into drugs increased and ppl fall much faster into stupid things.
Maybe i am just lucky but until now i do not have any problems with my sons, they follow the few rules we have and we have a very good relationship.
One deal is "No drugs or heavy alc and smoking until 18 and we pay the driverslicense", worked for oldest, lets see what the rest does.
Anyway, i am happy to have male only since when i look at my friends girls it seem they have more trouble to make them following rules :D, but every person is different and there is no general way how to grow perfect successfull humans
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
January 17 2009 12:34 GMT
#30
On January 17 2009 21:14 Ilvy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2009 14:26 Kennelie wrote:
OMFG YANG IM NOT EVEN GOING TO READ YOUR WORTHLESS BULLSHIT. I have better things to do in my time. Like fuck your mother.....I'll leave a map of hawaii on her jaw. It fits well.


seems like you are a propper example where you could see parents failed to teach respect.

Times changed a lot and it becaame more hard to find a perfect way to educate your kids. These days kids expect more freedom, the risk to get into drugs increased and ppl fall much faster into stupid things.
Maybe i am just lucky but until now i do not have any problems with my sons, they follow the few rules we have and we have a very good relationship.
One deal is "No drugs or heavy alc and smoking until 18 and we pay the driverslicense", worked for oldest, lets see what the rest does.
Anyway, i am happy to have male only since when i look at my friends girls it seem they have more trouble to make them following rules :D, but every person is different and there is no general way how to grow perfect successfull humans
exactly right
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Ilikestarcraft
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Korea (South)17743 Posts
January 17 2009 16:27 GMT
#31
On January 17 2009 10:43 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2009 10:32 YPang wrote:
Basically how this relates is that, if a kid has always gotten a lot of freedom while he lived under their parent's roof, it won't be much different once he gains complete freedom after he moves out. However if a guy like me has super strict parents, and once i am free i feel excellent. There is no upside if there is no downside, you can't feel good if you never felt bad.


Be careful when you get your freedom. These are usually the people who can't handle alcohol, or drugs, or boundryless life in general. Baby steps

Thats excatly what i was thinking
ils
"Nana is a goddess. Or at very least, Nana is my goddess." - KazeHydra
Vivi57
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States6599 Posts
January 18 2009 07:44 GMT
#32
On January 17 2009 13:12 YPang wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 17 2009 13:03 TheFlashyOne wrote:
dude...if your parents are correctly assuming ( i hope) that you won't transform yourself into a thug life gangsta flashing triad gang signs and robbin' people left and right, then i suppose the sole purpose of their half-ass attempt at monitoring you is to force you to get high marks. (half-ass because lets face it...no one can be totally monitored into studying all day...you're not always home..and when you are , you can pretend that you're studying while in fact you're honing your Starcraft skills, just close your door..or use alt-tab)

So everything must be revolving around marks. Yet you dont mention them at all in your OP. If you do get high grades, what can your parents say? Also..talk to your parents..not your friends..confront the source of the problem and ask them concretely how high they want you to score and you'll agree with them whether it's realistic or not. You wont score necessarily higher if you study 7 to 12 hours a day. Especially in high school. You'll be braindead by then and wont feel like learning anything more. ..what you need to do is to study your ass off in a reasonable and well-structured schedule. Work Hard, Play hard, keep a balance.

P.S. being a doctor is the worst way to

A. Make lots of money
B. Be happy
C. Have time freedom in your life.


Lol, you actually hit me right on the nail, i do play starcraft whenever their not home, and the reason behind that is obviously i can't play it when they are home. However my grades are not as high as my parents would like them to be, i'm satisfied with it though. I usually get a little over 50% worth of A's.

But meh, you have no idea how hard it is to convince asian parents of something, my parents ( prob shouldn't generalize a whole nation) are very narrow minded and won't take new suggestions unless they've been exposed to it for a LOONG time. I do study though only when i feel like it, i feel that all my parent's efforts in forcing me to study is not working, and i still do w/e i feel like basically. All they've done is limited the things that i can do in my free time ( some of them are hanging with friends and running track/cross country).

Honestly, this is the exact problem with a strict parenting style. The kids grow up and live with the mindset, "how can I get away with this" and "will I get yelled at for doing this?" With that mindset, you never learn how to actually live and manage responsibility. Those are the kids who fail out of college quickly. They do what they've always done. "Will I get yelled at for skipping class?" Answer: no. In their experience this yields the best case result so it is the right decision.

Honestly, that attitude teaches kids nothing about life, just how to cheat the system and not get yelled at. Their primary goal in highschool isn't to be successful, it's to not get yelled at.
Flash hwaiting! Nal_rA forever!
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
January 18 2009 08:05 GMT
#33
I dunno if this will make you feel better, but, looking back, I wish that my parents had been a bit more strict with me, especially when was a teenager since I basically wasted all my time then.
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
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