Hi, this is my first blog ever and being intoxicated as I am I've decided to write about alcohol.
Not some fancy stuff like "red or white wine goes better with dish this or that", just how to drink alcohol with your friends (options for solo drinking not included) or a bunch of random people, how to start drinking and general tips on doing so.
I am no expert! I have only like 11 years of experience with drinking alcohol. I've never even tried to be nice while doing so (ie my goal was to get wasted most of the time etc.), I've never drunk with my family (that means getting wasted along with your parents and stuff like that) etc. (at least not intentionally)
I don't know much about wine as I hate it.
Rule #1 when drinking alcohol: DO NOT MIX (and if you do, do it wisely)
Explanation: Try not to mix different kinds of alcohol, if you're drinking beer - stick with it, if you're into wine - stick with it or things that are relative to wine and so on.
Mixing wisely: If you are going to mix alcohol remember this one thing: light -> heavy (which means if you're drinking beer you can proceed to dring vodka but not the other way around).
Why? If you make a transition from lighter stuff (less % of alc in beverage) to more heavy one, your stomach will handle it better and side effects of drinking won't be so harsh (which is true for 99% people).
If you go the other way around or (god forbid) mix the stuff completely (ex: beer, vodka, wine, beer, champagne) you can expect serious stomach issues (vomiting, stomachaches), getting drunk way earlier than you wanted to, killer hangover.
Rule #2 when drinking alcohol: Bubbles are the silent killer!
Sparkling (with bubbles) alcohol gets easier into your bloodstream thus having its effects faster/easier on you.
While beer is ok due to low alcohol quantities, stuff like champagne can really own you fast, especially when mixed with other things.
Getting started (for newbie drinkers):
1. Know your limits - use a couple of first times (3-4) to try different things and try to evaluate at which point you're getting tipsy/drunk/wasted.
2. Find your beverage - just like with food, there are many tastes in alcohol. Be it beer, wine or stronger stuff. You have to know what you like, what gets you drunk faster etc.
Beer - the king of social drinking
That's right, when you're out with friends, in a club, pub or whatever you can never go wrong with beer.
- you can drink many
- you don't have to drink it fast
- inexpensive (if you only grab a few, the cost of beer when you want to get wasted can be ridiculous)
- makes you piss a lot
Wine - it sucks
Just my opinion.
Try not to drink more than 3 bottles during a single evening.
Drinks - ummm...
They look cool.
They cost more than they're worth.
They're good for girls.
Now we're hitting the good stuff, I won't talk about whisky here or anything similar since I don't like them much, but I think a few words about drinking stronger stuff is in place.
- Shots are the best (one of the reasons I hate whisky and stuff)
- If you drink quality stuff, you don't have to worry about hangover
There's like 191489471892471 things I want to write down here and I know it all should look different but I'll leave it for tomorrow or sometime soon since I'm way to tired to continue this effort. Any suggestions/questions meanwhile will be appreciated and I'll be sure to include as much as I can here.
UPDATE: Ok, let's give it a fresh start since I'm in a better form today. I will leave the previously written stuff as a curio.
Yet another disclaimer:
Anything I'm going to write down now will be directed at the majority of drinkers/wannabe drinkers, there are people who react differently to alcohol and I just won't cover all the possible cases because it would take too much space.
Do not get mad at me or this blog if some things aren't working for you, like I've already mentioned, people reactions to alcohol might vary, also there are better and worse days for drinking (dependant on the mood, people you're with, place you're at etc.) and better and worse beverages.
I think I should start with
1. Levels of intoxication:
Basically, when you're drinking alcohol and don't stop, you will go through several stages of intoxication. They could be most easily be described as:
3. Intoxicated (drunk)
There of course may be additional sub-stages (like very tipsy, slightly drunk etc.) but this general four stated above should suffice for this blog.
Let's get into more detail about them:
We all know what does it mean, it is irrelevant for this blog thus I'll just skip it.
Alcohol effects are not instant! It needs some time to get into your bloodstream and work its way on you. If you don't know if you're Tipsy od Drunk just give it 15-30 minutes without drinking alcohol and you should find out.
This is the very beginning stage of intoxication, usually you get here after 2-3 beers/drinks/shots and the alcohol begins its work on you.
- your humor goes up
- your courage goes up a bit (you're more likely to attempt feats you wouldn't do sober - like talking to a girl you always liked but you were too shy to do so etc.)
- you begin to talk more
- you are more open (talking about the things you normally wouldn't etc.)
- there are no real unwanted side effects yet
Now this is the place you really want to be, just let it go and have fun
Usually you'll get here after 4-5 beers/4 drinks/4-5 shots.
- your humor goes way up
- your courage goes way up (punch this big dude in the face? Perform a sleazy striptease on the table? Why not?)
- you begin to talk a lot more
- you are very open (will reveal secrets to anyone etc.)
- you're having a time of your life!
Common side effects (apart from mentioned above) include:
- your coordination may be flawed
- you may feel a bit dizzy at times
Now this is a place where you DON'T want to be
You know you're transitioning from Drunk -> Wasted by noticing the side effects (there are really no positive effects of being wasted, unless you drink to forget).
Common side effects include:
- extreme dizziness and disorientation
- split vision (seeing multiple things where there should be one, floating vision etc.)
- "slow mo" (why is everything around you happening so fast?)
- mumbling (you think you're talking fine, but people will have hard time understanding you)
2. Some traps when drinking alcohol:
Alcohol makes many tricks on your mind, it is good to know them (even though you can't/don't want to fight them in many cases).
The silent killer
"The greatest trick of Satan was to convince everyone he didn't exist, and he disappeared", the same is with alcohol. Like it was mentioned before, it needs some time to "kick in" so it's hard to judge how intoxicated you really are and you may transition to the wasted state before you even know it.
The best way to fight it is to make a break from drinking from time to time and switch to coke/juice or any other non-alcoholic beverage to give yourself some time for judgement.
What was also mentioned before: beware of the sparkling alcohols, they may taste good, you may feel great and then BAM! you're barely crawling on all fours, vomiting your insides out everywhere, shitting yourself etc.
Worth mentioning: strong beverages that you drink in shots (vodka, tequila etc.) follow all the rules of alcohol mentioned above, they also don't have an instant effect on you and because of the high quantity/alcohol ratio transitions to higher levels of intoxication may happen rapidly.
The mixing problem
Try not to mix different kinds/strengths of alcohol, vomiting and rapid intoxication level transitions assured.
If you do however mix, follow this few simple rules:
- it's a one way road, the schools may vary but going weakest -> strongest or strongest -> weakest should prevent the cataclysm
- if you follow one of the above roads there is no turning back! Can't go weakest -> strongest and then back
- if you're drinking flat (no bubbles) alcohols avoid mixing in any sparkling ones
Example of a very bad mixing scenario:
vodka -> beer -> vodka -> wine -> beer
Weak strong will
Here we are, the greatest mindtrick alcohol pulls on you. There are people who know when to stop drinking, I'm not such a person on 99% occasions, neither is 90% of the people who drink.
When you drink and you reach the drunk stage you'll just want to keep 'em coming, you're feeling great, you have the cash, your friends are still here, why then not get another beer?
No matter how much cash you bring with you, you'll most likely spend it all, if you can't spend it all alone, you'll order alcohol for your friends, if you don't have enough, they'll order for you.
That's the way this world works, accept it, learn to live with it.
3. The day after:
Now is the time for a downside of alcohol drinking: hangovers. They're a nightmare.
- lightofobia (dunno how to better describe it, bright light just hurts)
- cold sweat
- heart stampede
- any loud noises will feel like someone would hammer you on the head
- stuff like that ^_^
Note: from my experience beer/wine/drinks/champagne create monstrous hangovers while vodka gives you only a minor one if any.
Note to smokers: if you smoke you're bound to have worse hangovers, also this most precious first cigarette of the day can make you feel like dying (even if you've fought of a hangover and you're filling fine, then you smoke one and it all gets back at you only 10x stronger).
But don't despair, uncle Manit0u has some remedies up his sleeve to relieve you of most of those bad things!
Before and during drinking
- fat food: fat creates a defensive matrix around your stomach and much less alcohol gets into your bloodstream thus letting you drink more with less side effects, fighting hangovers becomes easier too (funny note: if you drink a glass of olive oil/frying oil or similar stuff before drinking you can pour alcohol into yourself and almost not get drunk, good trick to impress people if you can swallow a glass of oil of course)
- movement: eating and moving (dancing in a club for example) will ease the ill effects of alcohol on you while still letting you retain the positive ones
- non-alcohol: yes, making a pause now and then to take a swig of ice-cold juice or something will make you feel a lot better
After drinking but before going to sleep
Many people in replies here mentioned that drinking 0,5-1 litre of non-alcoholic beverage before sleep will give you less of a hangover or no hangover at all.
That is true (because most bad things hangover creates are the effects of dehydration caused by alcohol intake), unfortunately when you're drunk you never remember to do that and you end up having this hangover anyway.
Eat something and get a good sleep, that will help.
After waking up (OMFG! Call the priest, I'm dying!)
Drink, drink, drink. That's right, go and grab some fresh juice, water or something similar (soda and coffe are not very good right now).
Do it the polish way: drink one shot (I know, I know, even thinking about alcohol makes you sick now but trust me, if you force yourself and drink this one shot - or a light beer if you prefer - you'll automatically feel much better).
Take a dump: it'll stink as hell but will make you feel better.
Eat something (fat, remember?), chicken soup is perfect in this situations.
Drink, drink, drink. Added for emphasis.
If you're still feeling awful - go back to sleep and repeat.
I think that should cover the basics. I'll be sure to check out the responses and update this post with necessary stuff.