I am posting here because i am pretty desparate right now. Life for me has probably never been this low before. I am posting here cause I have seen some people post stuff like this on here and it seems they have some positive feed back so hopefully i will get some decent responses because every thing im about to discuss is 100% true from the bottum of my heart. Well my first problem not a major one but still brings me down thinking about it is work. about 2 years ago i started my own construction company (ambitious right?) well ever since i started things i have been struggling for money soo bad its not even funny. Every job i do 100% of the money i make goes to bills i haven't had a dollar to my name to purchase any thing for the past 2 years. It has sucked but i have been able to cope with it. Also my next major problem is a while ago i started hangin with the wrong people and got mixed up in drugs. I started using prescription pain killers and some times herion. I ended up getting hooked i guess. I am currently trying to stop but i have had a great deal of trouble stopping and trying to get off drugs is EXTREAMLY depressing especially that shit. on a side note my car doesn't work and my work van has a busted wind shild that i juat got pulled over for and if i don't get it fixed i get in trouble... ( i don't got the money). Now for the other worst part.. I discovered not to long ago that one of my supposed best friends has been seeing my girl friend behind my back. A girl i dated for 7 Years... I had plans to marry this girl...
I am so fucking bummed out i don't know what to do. Im 24 years old, broke, stuggling with drugs, just lost the person who i always went to when times were down. I don't know what the fuck im going to do... I didn't wanna make this too long cause people get bored reading other people problems. Ever since all this happened i have stoped playing starcraft, stopped working out, every thing has gone down the drain... I no longer have any motivation. im sure i probably have some spelling and grammar errors but im too fuckin bumed to read over this shit now. if ya could plz no " well i have it worse" stories. I know many other people have it worse but right now in my life i have reached an all time low and i don't think things could ever get any worse....
How do you have no money but then you say you are hooked on drugs? don't you need money for those drugs?
Problem solved there. Go to rehab.
About the girl, fuck her. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
PS- part of a good rehab is no female 'friends' for the first year of recovery anyways. Because the bad beats and tilts that girls put on you leads to relapse.
On January 02 2009 21:47 CharlieMurphy wrote: How do you have no money but then you say you are hooked on drugs? don't you need money for those drugs?
Problem solved there. Go to rehab.
About the girl, fuck her. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
PS- part of a good rehab is no female 'friends' for the first year of recovery anyways. Because the bad beats and tilts that girls put on you leads to relapse.
PPS- your life sounds better than mine, read my blog.
im on a treatment plan but its 75$ a doctor visit and 200$ a month for medication i don't have insurance
On January 02 2009 21:47 CharlieMurphy wrote: How do you have no money but then you say you are hooked on drugs? don't you need money for those drugs?
Problem solved there. Go to rehab.
About the girl, fuck her. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
PS- part of a good rehab is no female 'friends' for the first year of recovery anyways. Because the bad beats and tilts that girls put on you leads to relapse.
PPS- your life sounds better than mine, read my blog.
im on a treatment plan but its 75$ a doctor visit and 200$ a month for medication i don't have insurance
There has to be a way for you to get help via government, it is in the best interest of them to do so. AA meetings are free if nothing else.
200 a month for medication? That's pretty expensive :s
DDx Major Depressive Episode//Bereavement Disorder.
Suggest: Commence SSRI therapy. Imovane/Quetiapine for sleep. Discontinue drug use - seek community drug support services if available. CATT (crisis team input) contact PRN. Seek social supports. Respite if available, co-ordinate with supports. Eliminate social/financial stressors as able, though this may not always be possible.
You picked a hell of a time to start a construction company (2006), and its not your fault that the housing market collapsed.
Money is the reason all this happened to you. Women always look for security (they don't actually care about you) and when you had to work 24/7 she thought less of you. Money is also probably the reason you got mixed up with drugs, to escape your problems.
The good news is that now you will have a chance to get rid of the dead weight in your life (that girl, and that friend), and now maybe you can start over with a clearer perspective on life, if you can make it through your current situation.
Just quit using the heroin, you can do it cold turkey it's not as hard as movies like trainspotting make it out to be. You'll be a little under the weather for 3 days or so, a little feverish maybe, but after that you should be just fine. The only difficult thing is finding enough motivation to quit, but if the heroin is costing you a lot of money and you don't have any, you should try to quit.
On January 02 2009 21:47 CharlieMurphy wrote: How do you have no money but then you say you are hooked on drugs? don't you need money for those drugs?
Problem solved there. Go to rehab.
About the girl, fuck her. "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
PS- part of a good rehab is no female 'friends' for the first year of recovery anyways. Because the bad beats and tilts that girls put on you leads to relapse.
Book yourself in a rehab center. The easiest way to reduce your depressive symptoms is a combination of antidepressants (Depending on how severe your depression is) and cognitive therapy. Even if you don't book yourself in a rehab center today, BUY BORROW or STEAL "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns. You will learn how and why you feel hopeless, and how to stop feeling hopeless or helpless quickly, without resorting to drugs. It's a no nonsense, nonbullshit, nonhyped practical book. The techniques in the book are deceptively simple but they are supported by clinical evidence to work as well as drugs within a few weeks. So get that book today and read it, if you don't do anything else.
I wish that I could tell you that I had similar situations before, but mine were somewhat different. No drugs, but gf and work/money problems. The only thing that helped me out was knowing that I did have at least a couple of good friends there to support me. You need to find some support and stability, let go of the drugs and things will probably fall back into place. As for construction are you putting any bids in for government contracts for state agencies where you live? They will pay 200k for a new sidewalk out of stupidity....
well, you're not even close to hitting bottom, "Ryan," but if it helps motivate your rehab, go ahead and keep believing that you have. Depression has a funny way of making things seem worse than they are, killing motivation and ambition along the way. In starcraft terms, you might scout your opponent's build, and know how to react to it, but you'll refuse to react to it appropriately because you assume your opponent will just scout you and counter build what you're doing, so why even try...
You'll find yourself in a lot of catch 22s until you find a way to talk yourself out of that mode of thinking. Just don't tolerate it from yourself. Rehab will help with the drug addictions, for the depression, force yourself to recognize that everyday life doesn't have any hard-catch 22s and most problems have very simple solutions as long as you're willing to consider them. Good luck and stuff.
Hang in there man. Don't let the small problems scale up, they just seems worse then they are because of your situation. Focus on the big things, get off the drugs, make your stance regarding your girlfriend. That you have been struggling for money because of your company isn't your fault, be proud that you've managed to run your own company despite these times. In a few years the economy will go up again and we'll be fine. Stay strong, don't let them beat you .
I know that it sucks when all the problems seem to collapse on your head all at the same time. From what you've posted I'd say that you'll have to get a grip on your drug problem first. Doing heroin might make you feel good when you use it, but it will only make your situation worse; health and money-wise. You say that you've started some form of rehab, which shows that you have the will to change and that you took the first steps in the right direction. What you have to do now is stay strong and keep going on.
In terms of money; yeah it's tough at the moment, looking at the economical situation, but in the long run things will improve again. And you've lead a company for two years which proves that you are not stupid and able to organize so will be able to better your situation for sure. Hmm and the girl problem. It's always tough when you've been dating someone for such a long time and then have to find out that you've been cheated on. The person that is supposed to have your back and be your safety net... But like CharlieMurphy pointed out, there are plenty of fish in the sea. So don't give up.
i would try anti depressants before sitting around and thinking "god" is going to do something. Counseling and rehab can be good for someone like you as well.
As far as your financial situation, try to cut out things that you don't absolutely need for survival from your expenses (ie heroin), make a STRICT budget, and FORCE yourself to stick to it. I know it seems right now that you cant stop this downward spiral, but once you stop spending the money you cant spend, it'll start going upwards again-. I work for an engineering firm, and have been forced to act in a similar fashion lately with this slowing of the construction industry.
As for the drugs, I also recently quit drinking in November, due in part to the cost, and mainly the way it was destroying every aspect of my life. I drank 15-20 beers EVERY single night for probably the past year, and 12-15 a night the year before that. Although heroin is obviously a MUCH harder drug then alcohol, and it's potential damaging affects are far greater during usage, the withdrawal process is not as severe in symptoms, so once you start to clean up, you WILL actually feel better every day. A doctor will help you set up AA meetings and whatnot as well & probably put you on medication for the first 2 week period to get you through the worst phase. Once clean, the best thing for you to do, is to do things you enjoy, whether it be starcraft, just goin for walks, or excericising.... all these things will help you greatly through recovery... trust me...after 2 months I'm finally starting to feel more normal again. Essentially, go back to the basics of what you did prior to the situation you find yourself in currently. Do the things that used to provide happiness and excitement in your life all over again. And most importantly, talk to people close to you about how you're feeling, getting it out is probably the hardest aspect, but it'll be a real life saver.
As far as the women factor goes man.... you're 24 years old. There's always one waiting around the corner, as soon as you stop looking for them & focus on correcting your current lifestyle, a new one will pop up.
On January 02 2009 22:35 fight_or_flight wrote: Women always look for security (they don't actually care about you) and when you had to work 24/7 she thought less of you..
I read your post. But none of the responses (unfortunately, this forum has a lot of immature kids these days).
My name is Joe, I'm 26. We are about the same age. Let me say firstly, that I think you are pretty fucking awesome for being so entrepreneurial in starting your own business! You've got some balls, and are a worthy person, at the very least.
Let's talk about the woman situation first.
I tell you what man, I relate 110%. When I was 23, I had to write-off my closest friend, because he tried to fuck around with my high school sweetheart. The fact is, if you have ever loved a particular girl, she is hallowed ground. Off limits. Every guy knows this deep down; it's built-in.. but sometimes true colors reveal themselves. If your "friend" hits her up regardless of that, he is your enemy, not your friend. Blow him off.
Secondly, please don't do anything rash... I've sent you a PM with my cell phone number. Please give me a call, I'd really like to chat with you more in-person.
i also wanted to add that everyone keeps say screw this girl... thats alot easier said then done... i mean i have been with the girl since i was 17 im 24 now. It is my first real relationship. I guess that makes things harder since i have not been in alot of relationships. I honestly had come to a point in my life where i thought i was ready to get married. i had made my mind up and i told her. I said as soon as i get my finances in order im gunna bye you the best ring i can get and we can get married and move in together. the thing is she was agreed and told me she wanted too. Ya just gotta understand when all you here is "hey your girl of 7 years was seein your best friend behind your back" its easy to just say ohh froget about her.. The way i feel i can't imagine being with another girl cause i am so used the being the with girl. Plus my best friend screwed me over... a guy who gets more girls then fuckin brad pitt... I also think that some of my other friends knew about it and chose not to tell me and i just feel totally betrayed and i don't feel like i can go to my friends for help. Luckly thought i still got my rent and TeamLiquid, and once again thanks for the kind comments im acctually kinda glad i posted
Plus my best friend screwed me over... a guy who gets more girls then fuckin brad pitt... I also think that some of my other friends knew about it and chose not to tell me and i just feel totally
Stop this kind of thinking! Stop thinking about the predicament altogether and focus only on solutions. There are several helpful ones here and I would, as already suggested, encourage you to tackle the drug problem first. There is always help to be had with this but you must try to have some self restraint and ensure the help you get is not wasted (for example, I know of people who are getting the medication that weens them off of heroine for free, and then use all of that to get high or sell it to buy more).
Don't act about anything with this girl and your friend for now. Completely ignore them and try not to respond to any attempts to contact you because you are not in a position to make any decisions you may regret, although I strongly advise to remember how she made you feel now when you are through this and it is time to deal with these things.
You must cover your drug problem first - your girlfriend and mate can go on standby until your head is cleared.
Money problems. Everyone has them, especially now - just get by as best you can and stop thinking about how much it costs you. If you can't stop this negative thinking when you are not busy (keep working, it can help take you mind off it, but perhaps mix the scenery up a bit if possible) then get a self help book to read at night or something. I can't really help you with the money thing as I myself get into money trouble sometimes but because I put absolutely no value on money and have a hard time understanding desire for it.
With your drugs gone and your mind off of negative things (i.e. make a fresh start) your head will be clear and your other problems will seem petty or easily solved. The money problems might mean you can't afford the lifestyle you grew up thinking you'd have, but hey life is pretty OK without it if you have your health and people who love you.
Do you have family who can support you? Any other friends? Perhaps even your job can be put off for a while if you can get work elsewhere (although this is big risk and I would only advise doing something like this if you were in absolute dire need of a change of surroundings). I would also not advise spending a lot of time alone with yourself - this would result in more time to think about everything going wrong and make you perceive matters worse (just like when you're a kid and it's all fun and games at the sleepover until you are on your own at night and miss your mummy ).
This may sound lame and useless. But instead of anti-depressants, i say do some gardening. Do some gardening around the house. Nothing is more fulfilling than seeing your plants grow after a few weeks.
I have nfi how drugs affect one, I am 22 but have never taken any drugs in my life, I get high enough on oxygen as it is so I dont need cheats. So try fill that up with something else instead, like gardening. Something to do with nature.
Smell fresh soil, fresh plants fuck i wish i lived in a farm, urban life is fucked.
Heartbreaking story :-/ I wish you the best of luck, and get back to working out. Thats the one thing thats always made me feel better about myself, I don't know why, but everytime I come home frome the gym, I always feel better about myself, regardless of how much life sucks.
Hey HatchetWound. I was in a similar situation a year ago. I felt completely depressed and had no motivation to do anything. I stopped caring about the things that were important to me (school, friends) and developed a addiction to get away from my sadness as well.
But now I feel much better. I am enjoying life, everyday when I wake up I feel like a new person. I am still battling my depression, but its a fight I know I will win. I hope the following advice will help you:
1. Quit your addiction to drugs. This is the first step to becoming better. When I was addicted, I used it as a distraction to get away from reality. It wasn't until I stopped that I realized I needed help. Whether you do it cold turkey or go through rehab is up to you. But this is the first stop, and the most important one. If you have the strength to do this, everything else is easy.
2. Seek professional help if possible. I know money is tight for you, but if you can spare it, find a nice therapist to talk to every week or so. It works wonders just having somebody sit there and listen to you. It dosen't even matter if you take his or her advice, its all about getting everything off your chest. If you are suffering from major depression, you will be given a chance to get on anti depressants. I suggest you take these if you are willing, they do help. I know a lot of people will say therapy is a bunch of bs, thats what I thought too before I actually tried it. It will be different for everyone, but for me, therapy and medication helped a ton.
3. Discover your calling. Is there something you've always wanted to do but never had the chance? Some hobby or interest you've kept to yourself, never really had a chance to develop because you spent all your time working, or going to school? Its time to find it again, and become obsessed with it. Take the energy from your old addiction and transform it into an healthy addiction. For me, this was music. I've always loved music, must have it around me all day, can't drive without it, can't go a day without listening to it. I don't know what the equivalent is for you, but all I know is that it HAS to be something you are very passionant about. It has to be instrinsic too, this passion can't be 100% motivated by money or fame. It is something you do to make yourself happy, regardless of what anyone else thinks. If you can grab on to it, you can reinvent yourself and have a new outlook on life.
Those are the 3 big steps I took, and I am become healthier everyday. The only thing I can't really help you on is girl in your life. I've never been in a relationship like that, so I can't really comment. The only thing I will say is that you will eventually meet new and interesting people once you become healthier, and you might also reunite yourself with those family and friends you thought you had lost as well. So just hang in there HatchetWound, you have a great community at TL and we will support you.
Stop the fucking drugs man. I would not blame your gf for dumping you or cheating on you if you started to fucking take h dude. I tried lots of drugs, too and even snorted h once and my gf told me if I ever took h again she would dump me and I totally approved of that because I had no intention to take it again and if i would get addicted i would want her to leave me alone to not get her into this shit
Girls are shit - always remember this - they're in it for themselves, what they can get out of it. If someone offers a better deal than you it's not about asking themselves "what kind of moral character would I have if I don't stay faithful to my boyfriend" but "is this what's best for me"?
You can easily get this book off Torrents, it's called The Game by Neil Strauss if you read if it doesn't exactly immediately help you with your situation but at least you'll understand why your Brad Pitt friend gets to fuck the girl. The fact that he already gets a shit load of pussy is all the more reason he'd get to fuck your girl, not a reason why he shouldn't (as you were saying).
As for money, well usually if you go into a Church and tell someone about your problems, especially a relatively smaller tight knit community Church and not a mega-Church in the city, you'll probably find someone who will be willing to give you some form of financial assistance (whether it be employment or helping you with your accounts) and be there for you until you get out of it.
Its when times get rough....when you are at the lowest of lows. Its only when you lose everything, hit rock bottom, that is where you can find the most emotion and inspiration to get back on your feet. Trust me, you will get back on your feet, you want to, and you will.
Hey man, I will only touch on the girl part of things, since that's where I can relate. When everybody says to forget about the girl and move on, it is good advice, but unfortunately it's incredibly hard advice to follow. I have been in several multi year relationships with girls, and when it's over, you can feel like you just want to crawl up in a ball in the bathroom and not move for a week. It's really hard to do things like work, or hang out with friends, or anything really, because all you can do is think about the girl constantly, and when you do you have this horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach like you are going to puke, you're so upset.
I will be honest with you man, there are hard times ahead. the good news is that there are also good times ahead. When you are in a relationship for that long, learning to live without that person in your life is like withdrawl. It can take 2 - 4 weeks before you can even start to function normally again, and those are some hard weeks man. Even after that, you will miss her and think about her a lot, but at least you will be able to get through the day without feeling like shit.
Then after a couple months (as long as you break off contact with her) something magical happens. It's the basis for that age old saying that time heals all wounds, which sounds really cliche and cheesy, but it's pretty cool when you actually experience it. All of a sudden you'll stop hurting inside all the time, and when you look back and remember how bad you felt, you'll wonder how you could have ever let the situation get you so down. You'll see thing so much more clearly, and realize all the things you still have to look forward to in life. You'll feel much better.
It's happened to me so many times, that I can now see it for what it is. As guys, our emotional and mental state can be completely controlled by our hormones, and it can just totally destroy our ability to think properly for extended periods of time.
The only advice I can give you, and this is important, don't talk to her. Don't drunk dial her and ask her why she did it, and how she could do it, and why with your friend, and how long it's been going on, and who else knew about it, etc etc etc. The answers to these questions won't help you, you'll find them out later anyway, and talking to her occasionally will make this process a never ending one. The sooner you break off all contact with her, the sooner you'll recover from your depression.
Try to focus on the other things in your life that make you happy. For me it was always video games, basketball, other sports, playing my cello, and programming. For you it could be other things.
Man this is why I love Starcraft players. You would never get this kind of response on a CAL league forum. I feel like the serious Starcraft players are manner as hell (the majority) and you gotta love that. Sorry for your troubles by the way, hopefully you have gained some insight and things will start to work things out one way or the other.
I can relate to the girl thing though bro, and honestly, I know its hard, but thats a really difficult thing to work through, needless to say you need some time away from it all I'd say. If its at all possible take a vacation, and consider methadone treatments...... Anyway dude best of luck with life and with the business. This shit economy sucks, but in the end its just money. No one is going to kill you if you cant pay your bills, whereas it sucks to fail as a business owner, you are a true baller for making that leap, the most important thing is your health though, and stressing about the rest of it all is null and void and this point.
EPT
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