EPT-Mike Shinoda
When the word Legend comes to mind, what do you think of? To me a legend is someone or something to be remembered, something that goes beyond the normal, something that can do the seemingly impossible. But not just that, someone who can pull it off with that flare that cannot be replicated.
I am a Legend
+ Show Spoiler [Disclaimer] +
If you don't want to read the entire thing, I recommend reading the spoiler at the bottom first, then decide.
Over the last year I have developed an ego, and rightfully so. I have an uncanny knack for being able to get myself in some of the most ridiculous situations imaginable and somehow end up better off for it. I can talk my way out of virtually any situation. With some luck or thinking ahead of time, I could probably avoid these terrible situations, however why bother when I can talk my way out of it? The rush is also pretty awesome.
But come on, who wants to read something about the time I made a smart decision and avoided a potentially bad situation? No one.
So it starts off simple, I have a girlfriend, she is adorable. We look awesome together. She is also possibly one of the horniest people I have ever met. So naturally we are going to have sex during some fucked up times in some fucked up locations. Welcome to my Halloween.
So today I come home from school and me her are supposed to hang out together, the thing is we are not allowed at my house and we are not allowed at her house. To put it simply without much detail, me and her parents have had problems and it's just an annoying situation, her dad is the biggest faggot I have ever met, the douchebag threatens to have me arrested for statutory rape on a daily fucking basis. His daughter is 16, I am 18. she's nearly 17. He's a prick.
So basically, it's such a shitty Idea to have sex in public but since I am me and can do whatever I want because in my world consequences don't exist. So I picked her up and we went to my house because no one is home, finally for a change we get to actually have sex in a house, cars are fun, but seriously, lately I have been getting paranoid about it, ever since the first time a cop caught us anyway.
So later that day we go to meet up with some of our idiot friends who never have shit planned out and waste our time; so we are in my car waiting for them and they are taking forever, and while they are taking so long I think of the GREATEST LOCATION NO ONE WOULD EVER CHECK!!! to go have sex in. This plan is foolproof, but right as I come up with this and we decide to leave. My other idiot friends come out and decide to embark on a 40 minute car ride that is completely pointless. I end up getting stuck with one of them in my car so we couldn't go to my super secret epic noonewilleverlookthereeverin1millionyears hiding spot.
After I finally drop my friend off me and her head to this awesome spot which is conveniently located right behind a school! But I thought I was more clever here for a change, this school had an odd back path that lead into something like woods, so I thought just reverse down that path and we are completely hidden, no one would ever check here.
So we get to our awesome spot and I actually brag about how great of an idea it was directly to her, and how no one would ever look back here. So we are in the front seat and start having sex with me on top and her in the reclined chair (It's what I find the most comfortable position in a car) about 15 minutes into this all of a sudden BOOM, the fucking car lights up and I shout "FUCKING FUCK, FUCK. NOT AGAIN" I fly off of her, my ass must of been mooning the cop through my entire transfer from the passenger seat to my seat considering how bright his light was. Thankfully I was wearing sweat pants and she was wearing her costume from the day, which was this fucking AWESOME referee outfit with a skirt, so she didn't even need to get undressed. She just took her underwear off and it was great. Naturally, against my better instincts I choose to do it in a car. Purely because it's Halloween and having sex in a car on Halloween is a new tradition I plan on having, since this is the second year running of me doing that.
So I fly back into my seat pull my pants back up in just around 8 seconds, and she just pulls her shorts back on and now we wait, we wait to find out how this cop is going to be.
He comes up and the conversation goes a little like tihs
TimCop: "You seriously didn't think we would check here?"
Timmy: "You know for a minute there, I almost did."
TimCop: "I'm required to ask this" *looks to my girlfriend* "Do you want to be here?"
Timmer: "Uhh, yeah?"
At this point, I thought we were in the clear, the cop seemed kind of nice and didn't seem like he was going to harass us much if at all. When he asks for ID, I tell him how I haven't had it for around 2 weeks since my wallet got stolen, and the new ID should be in the mail soon.
Cop is not amused. He makes my girlfriend get out of the car and go to his, he separates and starts interrogating each of us. He asked me what school she went to and I told him that we went to BLANKSville South High School. After that he made us write our phone numbers, names, and addresses on a piece of paper for him. He then comes over and is asking me what our relationship is and what school she goes to and all this other crap about her. I am assuming this is all to figure out if we are actually going out or if it's just some random fuck thing. She is 16 so technically this is illegal. I asked him if I could get out and talk to him for a minute, in a polite way. He tells me no. I was not expecting that, so I explain to him our lovely situation where we are going out and her parents minor issue. He just walked away.
Here I am a little concerned for a change, he seemed nice and reasonable, but now this wasn't looking good. He goes back over and talks to her after I give him the paper with my info on it. He then comes back over and says in a no longer friendly attitude,
TimCop: "What would you say if I told you I was going to call your parents?"
Timmy: "Uhh, honestly, my parents expect this stuff from me, I just don't want you calling her parents because it would mess things up between me and her."
He just walks away again, this is odd. But I think my little attempt at a guilt trip worked on him. Since he now goes over to her and asks her a question and sends her back to the car.
He walks over to me and says one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard from a cop before.
Cop: "You know, I was about to fuck you guys over before you told me you go to South, FUCKING GO VIKING!"
and he just walks away leaving me hilariously confused. This was the oddest experience of my life, and then she tells me what he asked her.
He apparently asked her again if she wanted to be there, then he went on with his interrogation of the 2 of us, which I now presume was to scare us. Then he just went up to her and just simply asked "So what do you think I should do?"
To which she responds "I think you should let us go and not call our parents!" and he apparently just said "OKAY!" and sent her back to the car.
My conclusion on this whole event. This cop was epic, in retrospect, I think he must of enjoyed every second of messing with us while making sure it wasn't rape and we were going out. That cop is officially a G in my book.
Also I find it interesting the only good thing that came out of going to my High School is the fact that it saved me from getting in a lot of shit.
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+ Show Spoiler [Teaser :)] +
So I am aware this isn't that Legendary of a story, I just wanted to share my Halloween day with everyone who cared to read it, however a little teaser for the next story I am about to write, it's actually going to be more of a question/poll about something. I'm just going to say this, I live a very very interesting and insane life.
Out of all the crazy shit I have run into over my life, and the Absurd situations I have found myself in. This one takes the cake by FAR as the most fucked up strange one EVER.
Out of all the crazy shit I have run into over my life, and the Absurd situations I have found myself in. This one takes the cake by FAR as the most fucked up strange one EVER.
Until next time
