that means, 1) I can't pay my tuition 2) I can't pay my rent or bills 3) I can only afford one more tank of gas (which will last me another week) and 4) I have no money to buy textbooks.
this leads me to my next point:
I'm broke, and I school just started last week, and I've got to read three chapters of my International Law class by Monday, don't have the textbook - and can't afford it ($70). You can maybe guess what happens from there. I thought it would be a good idea steal the book.
I've stolen a few things in my life, some candy here and there, a book once, and a shirt once - I guess most everyone has stolen stuff at least once in their lives. Needless to say, I felt like shit every time I've done it, but this time I actually did it because I am broke as fuck as opposed to being a dumb kid.
I walked into the book store this afternoon and immediately I got a bad feeling, not many people were in there, employees all around, etc. I thought to myself "just turn around and leave it's not worth it." But, being the retard that I am, I proceed to find a place where there's nobody around, slip the book in my bag, purchase a few notebooks and a pen, and leave.
I figure everything is going smoothly, I'm out of the bookstore and walking in a hallway by the food court when two guys come up to me. One of them flashes his badge and says I need to come with him.
Long story short, they take me up to the super secret office shit of the bookstore write me up, get my statement, and tell me that the dean will handle it, etc.
So I feel like shit right now, not really because I fear the punishment... I'm a pretty good student with good standing (3.8 gpa and involved in school activities and shit) so I'm fairly certain that I'll just get a slap on the wrist... its not as if I robbed a bank or anything. But, I just can't stop myself from feeling really terrible as if all the guilt from stuff I had previously stolen built up and subconsciously I wanted to get caught so I walked right into a trap essentially - went through with it even though I KNEW it would be a bad idea.