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Active: 709 users

Really bad pick-up lines

Blogs > teh.pwnerer
Post a Reply
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teh.pwnerer
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada110 Posts
August 05 2008 05:07 GMT
#1
Let's get some of these going.

-"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

-A man goes up to a girl, grabs her arm, and whispers to her, "Let's not turn this rape into a homicide."

OK, your turn.

*****
Mass Dark Archons FTW
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
August 05 2008 05:10 GMT
#2
This isn't going to suck itself.

Hey! I like fat chicks! Wanna go out?!
RIP Aaliyah
crabapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States397 Posts
August 05 2008 05:10 GMT
#3
a good pickup line (for girls)

i lost my teddy bear, can i sleep you with tonight?


ownnnn
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
August 05 2008 05:16 GMT
#4
lmao
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
SnowFantasy
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
4173 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 05:19:52
August 05 2008 05:19 GMT
#5
If you're a Harry Potter fan..

Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.

I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

o and hi heavonearth.
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
August 05 2008 05:21 GMT
#6
Hey want to go out? then + Show Spoiler +
brb gotta shit


omfg this one SUCKS + Show Spoiler +
Hey look, a shooting star!", all the while "following" the star with your finger until it lands around their shoulders.


LOLLLL Is there a mirror in your pants?+ Show Spoiler +
Because I can see myself in them


Is your dad a chicken farmer? + Show Spoiler +
because you really know how to raise a cock!


Nice shoes! + Show Spoiler +
wanna fuck?


Your daddy must of been a drug dealer cause you're dope.

How do you like your eggs: + Show Spoiler +
scrambled, poached or fertilized?





Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
SiZ.FaNtAsY
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)1497 Posts
August 05 2008 05:21 GMT
#7
What has 142 teeths and can withstand the Hulk?

My Zipper.
Karma is a bitch
StrikeFLOW
Profile Joined July 2008
United States369 Posts
August 05 2008 05:22 GMT
#8
I lost my number, can I have yours?
"Life is a dream from which we all must wake before we can dream again"
Night[Mare
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Mexico4793 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 05:27:00
August 05 2008 05:25 GMT
#9
nvm
Teamliquidian townie
Rayzorblade
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States1172 Posts
August 05 2008 05:25 GMT
#10
"Hi. Do you speak English?"
- me over 5 years ago, to my now-fiance.
BottleAbuser
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Korea (South)1888 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 05:29:07
August 05 2008 05:27 GMT
#11
If you refuse sex with me, can you live with the possibility of having denied the world an Einstein or Beethoven?!
Compilers are like boyfriends, you miss a period and they go crazy on you.
Ozarugold
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
2716 Posts
August 05 2008 05:30 GMT
#12
"Could I Wham my Oingo Boingo in your Velvet Underground?"
this is my quote.
Mooga
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States575 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 05:34:33
August 05 2008 05:33 GMT
#13
You: "The CIA is trying to steal my penis... I need to find a place to hide it."
Her: "How can I help?"
Krohm
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Canada1857 Posts
August 05 2008 05:36 GMT
#14
That chicken farmer joke just killed me. I'm so using that.
Not bad for a cat toy.
SnowFantasy
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
4173 Posts
August 05 2008 05:36 GMT
#15
Are you a pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful.
Do you wanna battle? 'Cuz my balls are at the ready!
My love for you burns like a Charizard's tail.
If I were a Nidoking, you would be my Nidoqueen.
If I were a Milktank, I'd use ATTRACT on you.
Is that a Sudowoodo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I'd like to ride you like a HORSEA.
When I look at you, my Metapod can't get any harder.
You remind me of Pokemon, I just want to Pikachu.
Do you wanna play my Poke Flute?
When I'm around you, I am like a Geodude, as hard as a rock!
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
August 05 2008 05:37 GMT
#16
loool @ pokemon pickup lines
terranmetal
Profile Joined May 2007
Canada153 Posts
August 05 2008 05:41 GMT
#17
Can I dip my frankfurther in your honeypot?
I play on BW west.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
August 05 2008 05:42 GMT
#18
That shirt is very becoming on you, and if I were on you, I'd be cumming too!

*proceed to giggle nerdily*
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Evilmonkey.
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States1628 Posts
August 05 2008 05:44 GMT
#19
Legs is the word of the day. What say you and me go back to my place and spread the word?
WWBD- What would Boxer do?
JohnColtrane
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Australia4813 Posts
August 05 2008 05:48 GMT
#20
hahahaha the pokemon ones are so bad lol, especially the sudowoodo one

mooga i saw that one on a picture not too long ago, it was good
HEY MEYT
powa
Profile Joined July 2008
United States58 Posts
August 05 2008 05:58 GMT
#21
so you go up to the girl then say

you look like a bird watcher (whip out dick) would you take this for a swallow?
crabapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States397 Posts
August 05 2008 06:03 GMT
#22
omg where di u get the pokemon ones lol.
Scorpion
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States1974 Posts
August 05 2008 06:03 GMT
#23
On August 05 2008 14:58 powa wrote:
so you go up to the girl then say

you look like a bird watcher (whip out dick) would you take this for a swallow?



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mango @ U.S.East!
conCentrate9
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States438 Posts
August 05 2008 06:03 GMT
#24
Are you Irish?? 'Cause my pants are Dublin!!
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
August 05 2008 06:29 GMT
#25
Have you got a bat?

Cause I wanna hit that.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
XCetron
Profile Joined November 2006
5226 Posts
August 05 2008 06:30 GMT
#26
rofl pokemon, some of the other ones are gold as well
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
August 05 2008 06:32 GMT
#27
Have you got a map? Cause I'm lost in your eyes.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
Saracen
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States5139 Posts
August 05 2008 06:57 GMT
#28
On August 05 2008 14:42 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
That shirt is very becoming on you, and if I were on you, I'd be cumming too!

*proceed to giggle nerdily*

lol
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
August 05 2008 07:30 GMT
#29
I'm good at math. U+I=69

I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

This one is kinda unrelated but..
Q. why does laura bush always go on top?
A. because bush can only fuck up
Mikilatov
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States3897 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 08:20:02
August 05 2008 08:19 GMT
#30
"This one time I made A- on ICCUP."
"Wanna fuck?"

Works for me.

Not not really. In fact, I'm a shitty D/D- player and I cry my lonely self to sleep every night. =(

Nah that was a lie too, but fuck it.
♥ I used to lasso the shit out of your tournaments =( ♥ | Much is my hero. | zizi yO~ | Be Nice, TL.
vhallee
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
899 Posts
August 05 2008 09:03 GMT
#31
some of the best i remember seeing written on the net:

I'm not trying to impress you, but...I'm Batman.

Walk in a bar to a bunch of women with your schlong hanging out your fly:
'Hey, whatcha think of my new shoes?'

Let's not turn this rape into a murder.

If I could rearrange the alphabet would you sleep with me?

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

You are lucky, I decided to go for the ugly ones early tonight.

IF you were a tree and I was a squirrel, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

if none of this work, use the emergency line: "I eat pussy."
Marijuana causes amnesia and other things I don't remember.
tracer
Profile Joined March 2008
Korea (South)693 Posts
August 05 2008 09:23 GMT
#32
"Hey, you've got something on your face."
"Oh, really? What is it?"
"Beauty."
jingXD
Profile Joined May 2007
United States283 Posts
August 05 2008 09:30 GMT
#33
Does this taste like GHB to you?
DaasEuGen
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Germany35 Posts
August 05 2008 09:44 GMT
#34
"Baby, are you a Dragoon? Because you make my tank siege."
Superiorwolf
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States5509 Posts
August 05 2008 09:45 GMT
#35
There's been lots of threads like this... http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=56823

"Have you ever had sex with a machine? 'Cuz that's what it's like with me.

'Cuz I'm a sex machine."
Check out my stream at www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=315053 and follow me on Twitter @EGSuppy! :)
teh.pwnerer
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada110 Posts
August 05 2008 16:14 GMT
#36
On August 05 2008 18:44 DaasEuGen wrote:
"Baby, are you a Dragoon? Because you make my tank siege."


That is gold, more SC related pick-up lines please!
Mass Dark Archons FTW
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
August 05 2008 18:17 GMT
#37
Hey baby I'll morph your larvae
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-05 19:00:31
August 05 2008 18:56 GMT
#38
On August 05 2008 14:07 teh.pwnerer wrote:
-A man goes up to a girl, grabs her arm, and whispers to her, "Let's not turn this rape into a homicide."



this is HILARIOUS


lol, tracer that was hilarious too

many good ones here
Mikilatov
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States3897 Posts
August 05 2008 21:04 GMT
#39
On August 06 2008 01:14 teh.pwnerer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2008 18:44 DaasEuGen wrote:
"Baby, are you a Dragoon? Because you make my tank siege."


That is gold, more SC related pick-up lines please!


"Now I know I have an STD... But I'd really like to Infest your Command Center."

"Baby I'd like to play on your Lost Temple."

"Trust me, my Timing Push is never premature."

♥ I used to lasso the shit out of your tournaments =( ♥ | Much is my hero. | zizi yO~ | Be Nice, TL.
teh.pwnerer
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada110 Posts
August 05 2008 21:48 GMT
#40
"I'd like to penetrate your defenses with a zergling rush. And by defenses I mean your ass, and by zergling rush I mean my penis."

More SC pick-up lines plz
Mass Dark Archons FTW
semioldguy
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States7488 Posts
August 05 2008 22:10 GMT
#41
"Arrr, you must be buried treasure, 'cuz I'm diggin' your chest!"
Moderator
Orome
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Switzerland11984 Posts
August 05 2008 23:33 GMT
#42
Do you like flowers?
+ Show Spoiler +
good, cause I've got a sack full of semen


a friend of mine (not a very close one lol) loves that and uses it on every girl he wants to sex, it's actually worked a few times too.

On August 05 2008 14:58 powa wrote:
so you go up to the girl then say

you look like a bird watcher (whip out dick) would you take this for a swallow?


god ahahaha, pity those only work in English.

On a purely personal note, I'd like to show Yellow the beauty of infinitely repeating Starcraft 2 bunkers. -Boxer
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
August 05 2008 23:43 GMT
#43
I shoot scarabs, not blanks.

Are you a zergling, because I'm stimmed!

We should morph and make a twilight archon!

You must be a row of siege tanks, Cuz I'd drag mine to you anyday.

Have you seen this yamato cannon?

This shockwave will be more than EMP.

You must have a lurker and a burrowed zergling, because I detect a big and a little hole.

Feel free to drop tanks on my nat anyday.


shit i hate myself T_T
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
Steelflight-Rx
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1389 Posts
August 06 2008 00:46 GMT
#44
On August 06 2008 08:43 Caller wrote:

You must be a row of siege tanks, Cuz I'd drag mine to you anyday.

wtf ur supposed to be putting bad pick up lines, not awesome ones.
yubee wrote: you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life.
teh.pwnerer
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada110 Posts
August 06 2008 00:56 GMT
#45
On August 06 2008 08:43 Caller wrote:
I shoot scarabs, not blanks.

Are you a zergling, because I'm stimmed!

We should morph and make a twilight archon!

You must be a row of siege tanks, Cuz I'd drag mine to you anyday.

Have you seen this yamato cannon?

This shockwave will be more than EMP.

You must have a lurker and a burrowed zergling, because I detect a big and a little hole.

Feel free to drop tanks on my nat anyday.


shit i hate myself T_T


Don't hate yourself for being awesome.

Now...to find a korean chick...
Mass Dark Archons FTW
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
August 06 2008 01:26 GMT
#46
On August 06 2008 09:46 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 06 2008 08:43 Caller wrote:

You must be a row of siege tanks, Cuz I'd drag mine to you anyday.

wtf ur supposed to be putting bad pick up lines, not awesome ones.


ahhaha
Moderator
drug_vict1m
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
844 Posts
August 06 2008 20:48 GMT
#47
On August 05 2008 18:30 jingXD wrote:
Does this taste like GHB to you?

haha
One must feel chaos within, to give birth to a dancing star.
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