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Poem #3

Blogs > ZaplinG
Post a Reply
ZaplinG
Profile Blog Joined February 2005
United States3818 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-04-19 19:49:30
April 19 2008 17:47 GMT
#1
I wrote this last night when I was blitzed. I looked at it again this morning and I still like it, so here it is. I think it's not completely finished yet, but it's pretty close.


Smile, Birdy

I dont know why I want to try,
I want to sigh, I want to fly,
I want to cry, I said goodbye.
We were a lie and then we tried,
To reach the sky, I was so high.
It's here I saw a birdy sing,
He sang as me, he sang for spring.
I still want to try to reach the sky,
And sing together and everything.
You made me fly, you made me sigh,
You sang and brought me everything.
The little birdy wants to die,
He was so happy,
Birdy,
Without knowing why,
Little birdy...

Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free
hymn
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Bulgaria832 Posts
April 19 2008 19:27 GMT
#2
On April 20 2008 02:47 ZaplinG wrote:
Here I saw a little birdy sing,
He sang for me, he sang for spring,

If I understand correctly, the birdy here represents a person, presumably a girl. And later you say that the birdy brought you everything. The you go with this:

On April 20 2008 02:47 ZaplinG wrote:
The little birdy wants to die
He was so happy,

So now it seems the birdy aka girl wants to die. But I think what you mean was that you wanted to die.
So this looks like a contradiction if I am getting everything right. And if I am, you might want to fix it somehow.

Anyways, it's nice. Sad but still kinda moved me.
azk he is the north american player but the titan he is the french stars
Xeofreestyler
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Belgium6772 Posts
April 19 2008 19:44 GMT
#3
Perhaps, hymn. Perhaps.

But we should look at the possibility of the bird being the phallic symbol.
Graphics
ZaplinG
Profile Blog Joined February 2005
United States3818 Posts
April 19 2008 19:50 GMT
#4
haha, i assure you it is not a phallic symbol

I changed some stuff around to make it clearer. Thanks for the input Hymn.
Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free
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