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Around 8:15 last night, my derriere was attacked by a car. I had almost finished crossing the intersection when a gray sedan took a left directly into me. I rode on its windshield for about six meters before getting thrown as it slowed.
I lay on my stomach across two lanes; I had no feeling in my ass and thought I was paralyzed. Cars stopped all around, people screamed, and one guy told me to stay still. I was engulfed by a sudden paranoia that told me, in spite of the stopped traffic, that another car would come and finish the job by running over my legs. I forced myself to my feet. My lower back screamed at me, but I could walk.
After some time spent getting tested, and irradiated at the ER, I learned that I had suffered no fractures. That and two Vicodins (on an empty stomach, that’s a dosage fit for livestock) left me quite content. My left buttock and the region just above it were royally bruised, but no permanent harm was inflicted. I just won’t be able to sit or bend over comfortably for a while.
All things considered, I’m lucky as hell. If I were a bit thinner, I’d have fractured my pelvis; if the car had hit me two inches to the right, I would be paralyzed from the waist down. Another ten miles per hour, and TeamLiquid would need a new source of bad poetry.
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Lol that sucks man, at least youre ok.
Here's my story (which thankfully, i had written down on another forums oi dont have to retype it.)
anyway, since this abot getting hit by cars and i have no desire to work at all today, ill add in a story. one night, me and my brother got into a big brawl, which ended with me breaking his nose. needless to say, even though he was a douche and that's why it happened, i felt bad cuz afterall, he is my brother.
the next day was a half day (i was still in high school then) and i went over my friends house near my old place. we lived right on the side of the mountain, so there's paths, two old castles, and two quarries (which have since been built over by gay developers...we apparently dont like open space here). anyway, we hiked up into the quarry and met some friends. kids go up there all the time to play paintball, drink, blaze, burn or blow up shit... just do normal dumb high school shit.
so some of my friends were blazing and me and my other buddy were blowing shit up. all of the sudden at the top of the quarry, we see two black dudes screaming at us. theyre security gaurds at a building a couple thousand feet away from the top of the quarry (which is liek 100ft above us) and we figure they wouldnt know of our rope that we used to get down this little chasm. so we do what any self respecting teenager does in the face of authority: tell them to fuck themselves.
Sure enough, 5 minuttes later, we have two angry large blackmen who found their way down to groundlevel chasing us. we run out the side of the quarry (it's like a horseshoe, with one side having no wall, which leads to the base of the mountain.) and head to the street below. we get there and decide we should cross the st and go hide out in quickchek. i look real quick (my view was obstructed by a car parked illegally on the corner) and i go... and get absolutely destroyed by an old steel buick going 45mph.
he ended up just barely hitting me, only gettinga piece of my calf (leaving a huge bruise there), but it was enough to send me over the hood, where my shoulder landed squarely, popping it a few inches outta place. my body followed and my head and arm hit the windshield, which i would have been thru if not for my arm. i land in the other side of the street on my head and almost get hit by a second car.
the funny part is, im so juiced on adrenaline now, i get up despite my arm and yell HOLY SHIT but it comes out like HOWRY SHAAYT cuz my brain is so jumbled. i run back to the sidewalk and my two friends have giant WTF =O faces on, while the one kid who had a bunch of weed is running for his life down the street. i start lauhging, thinking im fine. i go to stretch to show that i can move alright, then my arm literally gets stuck above my head.
cops and whatnot come and im alying there as paramedics take car of me. then i see the two black dudes walking around and miraculously dont see us. an ambulence comes nad they put me in and take me to St. Joe's, which is in the hood by me. i had to keep my arm striaght up above me and of course, the driver hit eveyr fucking pothole on the way, which hurt like hell. at the hospital, they start to drug me up and i get all light headed. they go to add another sedative and i hear my mom, YOURE GOING TO GIVE HIM HOW MUCH? one of the doctors had a needle full of something and added an extra zero that basically would have killed me. that was pretty cool. last thing i remember is having my shoulder popped in by three big ass doctors.
4 hours later, im let go and go over to my friends to tell him im fine. i have no shirt and my arm is in a sling and it's the middle of dec. and snowing. im running around outside and hitting people with snowballs cuz im still so drugged up. pretty funny stuff, untl the next day when it wore off. my shoulder still is pretty fuckedu p to this day. karma is a bitch.
i think the best part of this was that i got fired from my job for getting hit by a car. i worked at pathmark as the cart guy (hey... i needed money). because i was in the hospital, i had my brother call to say i wasnt coming in. my 350lbs fat black cunt of a boss told him that ifi i dndt show up, id lose my job. once of the first things i did when i got out of the hospital was go there to tell her to go fuck herself. she lost her job a few weeks later. fucking cunt.
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sooo many paragraphs 
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this happened to me too like 3 weeks ago. I got hit in the legs ( cause im pretty tall ) and i rode on his windshield for a couple of miles as well. I didn't go to the hospital tho cause I felt no farm luckily. One thing was broken tho, my graphing calculator. Should've taken his license and sued him for that T_T
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rofl a couple of miles
LOL felt no farm
LMAO broken CALCULATOR
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woah close call there buddy. Glad you're all-right (^_^)
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Good to hear you are okay xD
I've been hit by a car twice, and one time I hit a car. Luckily no permanent injuries.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
pics of your purple ass or it didnt happen!
(glad you're together in one piece mate)
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On November 28 2007 23:36 Hawk wrote:
the funny part is, im so juiced on adrenaline now, i get up despite my arm and yell HOLY SHIT but it comes out like HOWRY SHAAYT cuz my brain is so jumbled.
LMFAO
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They irradiate things in real life?
What does real life irradiatation consist of - -;
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On November 29 2007 01:02 Bub wrote:
woah close call there buddy. Glad you're all-right (^_^)
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On November 29 2007 02:27 SuperJongMan wrote:
They irradiate things in real life?
What does real life irradiatation consist of - -;
I was thinking that too.
actually more like, how is he still alive after being irradiated?
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On November 29 2007 03:00 XCetron wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2007 02:27 SuperJongMan wrote:
They irradiate things in real life?
What does real life irradiatation consist of - -; I was thinking that too. actually more like, how is he still alive after being irradiated?
He probably has hitpoints like an ultralisk and thus can survive irradiate
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On November 28 2007 23:59 KrAzYfoOL wrote:sooo many paragraphs
It's a good story tho ;]
On November 29 2007 02:11 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:Show nested quote +On November 28 2007 23:36 Hawk wrote:
the funny part is, im so juiced on adrenaline now, i get up despite my arm and yell HOLY SHIT but it comes out like HOWRY SHAAYT cuz my brain is so jumbled.
LMFAO
=p
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Glad you're ok defenestrate
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...and TeamLiquid would need a new source of good poetry.
Fixed. Glad you made it through in one piece. 
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Good thing you're okay. Good story for the kids, yes?
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Cayman Islands24199 Posts
hawk your story was awesome
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Damn that sounds really scary.. that's the kinda thing that you say "oh it'll never happen to me"
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EPT
