Age 30 is a special age. It's a reminder that I am no longer 20s, and that "uncle" can really be applied to me.
A few years of work experience under the belt, still with a hint of naiveness. A turning point. I hope this blog can give some guidance for someone who's similar to me.
I have been an indecisive person throughout my entire life.
Making choices have always been a pain for me, how can I make any choice if I don't have any ability to make sure my choice will bring the result I want? Or not knowing what other choices would have brought forth? And giving up what other choices I don't even know of?
Nothing says more than my painful romance path, I have been on the side of: - Ambiguous relationship for a few years - A love that is obvious on surface but never gonna work - Dumping GF - Being dumped - Fall in love with another girl while in relationship - Almost engaged - In a relationship before fully moved on from the past
But nowadays, I feel like I finally grasped life and the proof of that, is that I am with the girl I truly love.
A girl that I have always loved since primary school. A girl who I was in ambiguous relationship for a few years and I walked away. A girl who even though I have not seen her for years, still caused me to doubt the engagement with the then girlfriend.
However the point I want to get across is: Uncertainty is part of our lives.
Just like starcraft 2. because of fog of war you never can truly know all the information. But also just like starcraft 2, if you don't do anything, the choices are made for you.
You HAVE to do your best, to see through your choices, to be as direct as you can because otherwise you are adding the uncertainty to not just others around you, but also will affect your choice's outcome.
Sometimes it seems there are only good choices. Sometimes there are no good choices.
If it seems all the choices will make you regret, then the least you can do, is make the choice that is truly from your heart. At least it's from the heart.
And remember, there's no right choice, no one truly knows what will happen, everyone just tries their best to do what they predict will happen. So why not take things on your own hand?
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Age 30 is a special age.
10, 20, 30, 40 etc ain't special. we've adopted a base 10 counting system so some people treat these #s as special. its just a #.
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Nothing says more than my painful romance path, I have been on the side of: - Ambiguous relationship for a few years - A love that is obvious on surface but never gonna work - Dumping GF - Being dumped - Fall in love with another girl while in relationship - Almost engaged - In a relationship before fully moved on from the past
i'm 31 ... when i go out with childless women aged 31 to 37 i feel like i'm on a job interview. I can hear the clock ticking with each probing question...
" a date is a job interview that lasts all night", Jerry Seinfeld.
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Nothing says more than my painful romance path, I have been on the side of: - Ambiguous relationship for a few years - A love that is obvious on surface but never gonna work - Dumping GF - Being dumped - Fall in love with another girl while in relationship - Almost engaged - In a relationship before fully moved on from the past
i'm 31 ... when i go out with childless women aged 31 to 37 i feel like i'm on a job interview. I can hear the clock ticking with each probing question...
Just settle for single moms, they're as easy as fats but without the juck-factor.
Unless you want a relationship, but then obviously you have to put in the 'interview' work. But I think that's fine. The kind of mutually nurturing relationships where each drives the other to be better are considerably more satisfying than casual Tinder dates.
On May 28 2019 03:59 Dangermousecatdog wrote: Well done Jimmyjraynor, you managed to take my advice and stopped calling women as females, but as women. Well done!
no, i also call women ... females. if you want to find a reason to get offended though... have fun. Its great having guys pick through every word i type in here. It makes me feel important.
On May 28 2019 03:59 Dangermousecatdog wrote: See how your creep factor is decreased by a substantial amount?
this is a forum board... communication in RL and on a forum board are different.
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Nothing says more than my painful romance path, I have been on the side of: - Ambiguous relationship for a few years - A love that is obvious on surface but never gonna work - Dumping GF - Being dumped - Fall in love with another girl while in relationship - Almost engaged - In a relationship before fully moved on from the past
i'm 31 ... when i go out with childless women aged 31 to 37 i feel like i'm on a job interview. I can hear the clock ticking with each probing question...
On May 28 2019 01:18 JimmyJRaynor wrote: it was great going to the beach and meeting girls when i was 25. light-hearted, silly, stupid FUN.
now i get questions like ... "where do you see yourself in 5 years?".
i feel like asking back... " are you from HR? .. is this an HR question? or are you in R&D or IT ?"
If you like going to the beach and meeting girls....then go do that, no? I'm at basically the same place as you and haven't noticed this issue at all. Sure, some women do get ticking clocks in their 30s, but usually you can either avoid those or just make it clear you're not interested in children, if you aren't.
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Age 30 is a special age.
10, 20, 30, 40 etc ain't special. we've adopted a base 10 counting system so some people treat these #s as special. its just a #.
On May 25 2019 22:31 ETisME wrote: Nothing says more than my painful romance path, I have been on the side of: - Ambiguous relationship for a few years - A love that is obvious on surface but never gonna work - Dumping GF - Being dumped - Fall in love with another girl while in relationship - Almost engaged - In a relationship before fully moved on from the past
i'm 31 ... when i go out with childless women aged 31 to 37 i feel like i'm on a job interview. I can hear the clock ticking with each probing question...
On May 30 2019 08:46 L_Master wrote: If you like going to the beach and meeting girls....then go do that, no? I'm at basically the same place as you and haven't noticed this issue at all
welp, global warming has really stalled here. June starts in 2 days and its fucking freezing.
In any event, its not that big a deal... which is why I included Mr. "Show About Nothing" doing a comedy bit about it. Things start off fun during the first meeting. Then I get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" questions during a 2nd meeting after we've only known each other a handful of hours. At least, its transparent and direct.
On May 30 2019 08:46 L_Master wrote: If you like going to the beach and meeting girls....then go do that, no? I'm at basically the same place as you and haven't noticed this issue at all
welp, global warming has really stalled here. June starts in 2 days and its fucking freezing.
In any event, its not that big a deal... which is why I included Mr. "Show About Nothing" doing a comedy bit about it. Things start off fun during the first meeting. Then I get the "where do you see yourself in 5 years" questions during a 2nd meeting after we've only known each other a handful of hours. At least, its transparent and direct.
Hmm. Second date I'm usually having sex or similar. Perhaps you're coming off as being a very relationship guy. It feels to me like women often see you certain ways. If they see you more as sexual, they are often okay to keep the fun vibe and have sex relatively on. If I act like a relationship, provider guy I get all kinds of three date rule stuff, buy me dinner, where do you see yourself stuff. If I act a little more like a sexual guy playing the field I don't get any of that.
If I do get those kinds of questions I just deflect them something like "Woah, slow down there cowboy. Let's save the life plans till at least the fourth date" or "You're cute! Do you always move this fast " or something similar. Then change the topic. Rarely, a woman will stick to it. If they come back again, I deflect once more but firmer. If they come back a third time, I tell them I'm not interested and walk them out and/or leave depending on where we are.
On May 30 2019 14:29 JimmyJRaynor wrote: i'm not that worried about it. the solution is to stick with women under 26.
I'm just saying that's unnecessary. There are nice things about dating older women.
What you suggest definitely works, no question. Just....don't get married to one or expect lasting relationships from them, especially for women that are U23/college age. They can be fun, but getting seriously involved almost always ends bad.
its specifically childless, never previously married women over 30 where i've noticed the trend of a 1st in person meeting turning into a job interview .... in general older women are fine.
On June 28 2019 21:40 JimmyJRaynor wrote: its specifically childless, never previously married women over 30 where i've noticed the trend of a 1st in person meeting turning into a job interview .... in general older women are fine.
Fair. Would agree with this in the general case. There is definitely something to be said about thinking about that biological clock.
EPT
" or something similar. Then change the topic. Rarely, a woman will stick to it. If they come back again, I deflect once more but firmer. If they come back a third time, I tell them I'm not interested and walk them out and/or leave depending on where we are. 
