Your impression / feedback needed! Art Tutorial

I'd prolly cut the start/showing off part, either completely or down to max 5 pictures with 5 seconds each minimum. People who are watching your videos know that you are a good artist, you don't need to show that. Also your pictures need some time to breathe. Consider showing the actual pictures and not the videos.
I'd definitely cut out the motivational speech from your talent vs practice video, it lacks a clear ending, your speech pattern is different and it doesn't really serve a purpose here.
I'd probably develop some sheets that show the idea as a diagram like the one at 2:55 and have them in the background for 10 seconds+ while you explain your patreon community idea.
The last 2 minutes are mostly good. I'd probably slow down the video of the young man at the end and show only that, I think it's a good recruitment poster and atm you end the video with a 3/4 finished picture of a young woman who doesn't look into the camera (which is also at the top of your patreon page that you show before).

This will not be the only video regarding what I'm trying to do and is really NOT targeting people who are my core fans. Ppl that knows me either support me or they don't and they already know what I can do. The video really aims at people who don't know what I do, or what patreon is. I have to wow them first before they even consider anything. Cuz otherwise of course it would be, who the f r u and why are you qualified. So it goes like this:

1) I want to make more content / tutorial for you
2) this is what I can do / why I'm qualified
3) This is how it can be done (Through patreon) + motivational stuff
4) example of lesson plan for those who wants details + benefits for those who don't care about learning
5) thanks / bye
(not sure how I can make that even more simpler or to the point)

With out the showing off stuff at beginning (in older version i have placed it later on), ppl are mostly gone in the first 5 to 10 sec. Why would they be staying to watch me pitch patreon, i'm just a stranger. Once they are wowed, suddenly they are more interested staying and hear what I'm gonna say. A lot of people here know what I do, but you have to think like a stranger. If i get straight to the point but with nothing to back it up, ppl also go straight for the exit. What are you passionate about? Lets say free running. Imagine you see a vid like this: some random guy comes on, says he wants to make tutorials , then get straight to the point of HOW and where to sign up... are you gonna even consider be a part of it? I mean he did get straight to the point. But it would be a failure since he didn't demonstrate why he is qualified. If he comes out , says he wants to teach, and start doing some crazy shit that impresses you, now you might stick around and hear the pitch some more. And you want me to remove that showoff part?

The motivational stuff basically says everyone can do it and that most drawing is a SKILL (it's in the full vid and maybe i can add some text on screen to enforce that). To not include that and just say F-it to ppl who don't believe they have the talent to draw is precisely the myth that need to be addressed. It's a market that's not served. A land of people who have no shoes and I know for a fact you can convince someone who thinks they can never do it, that they CAN drawing in under 1 hour. (my rec is about 20min, not first time teaching)

The out of place slower speech pattern and the giant excerpt text on the screen is exactly what could help separate the clip out from the main video. So consider the out of place a good thing since I specifically says: a clip from another video is coming up regarding talent vs practice. It also provides a change of pace / rest. It is important to tell people that you don't need a rare extra 6th finger on each hand to learn the piano in a land where a lot of people have that misconception..especially when you are trying to do a piano tutorial thing. Most people who reaches that point of video are already hooked to the video.

speed...the speed imagery is meant to dazzle as a group, its not hard to follow in that sense nor do they contain too much info. You mentioned yourself the attention span is short. Regarding the "showing off part", people will get the idea, and can't look away...if they want to see the slow version i mentioned a lot more is in my channel. Then from there the video goes straight to the screen of patreon, then to the lessons sample structure. The only info is what I want to do, showing a bunch of fun stuff, then the how. Where is the info overload in that?

Now the few slides of lesson plan does go by fast but they are also a group. People who are interested in learning and want a closer look, I assume I don't have to say there is a pause button and treat them like idiots. Plus polling have shown about 50% of viewers just cares about entertainment stuff, 40% cares about learning. People who are truly interested in how the tutorial would work would care enough to pause or rewind. But those who don't, they are more casual, and not gonna stay to read something they don't want, since when that happens, they don't fast forward, they leave. Hence that part goes by fast, it's enough for casual ppl to get the idea: okay the tutorial part is structured.

So as a group almost all essential narration is connected to the visual. When I talk about what I do, i'm showing what I can do. When I talk about patreon, there is the URL. When I talk about lessons, there is the plan structure. When i talk about rewards, there are the rewards in visual form.

Here are the interesting facts, some you mentioned. All data from YT, buzzfeed and patreon collected over god knows how many samples.
1) The faster speech + things change on screen (to a point of course but my vid is no where near the point of diminishing effect) the more primary demographics (below 35) and average to young demo, especially kids, stay on the video. (kids actually have a lot of purchase power since they ask their parents for stuff). Those fast paced video are also more re-watched, If it's enticing and fast. this has the added benefit of high retention rate and view time which are two of the most important video ranking algorithm variables.

2) if your vid doesn't hook or get someone interested in the first 3 to 5 sec, good bye. they are gone. we know this.
3) if at any point in your video, audience gets bored for more than 3 to 5 sec, good bye, they are gone. But if the brain is constantly getting stimulated, they generally stay. This is a world where everyone trained their mind to handle info coming at them from 10 different directions all day. Like you said, people on average have no attention span, no one meditates So I do get straight to the point. I immediately said what I want to do, show why I can do it, then followed by the how.

Now TL has a very specific demographic and I have tested this with other demographics. To quote a 10 yr old " I like the most the part about Talent vs Practice that he explains that I can help you to get better even though you may not be the best. " (man her grammar is worse than mine) Did I mention kids are also the largest group online that generates the most activity and SPENDS A LOT (well their parents but you know what I mean)

Btw this is not me putting the whole video together in a hurry. It is designed to: State my intention, showing my capability to meet my intention and immediately get ppl hooked, then introduce Patreon. Tutorial and reward info are provided at their places as main incentives. It should be fairly logical. The end picture links to something familiar they will see. The whole video begins and ends portrait wise, with two of my most viral videos.

I think the things I mentioned makes sense, and not only this video is able to hold the attention from 9 year olds to 30 year olds, it is able to hold the attention of complete strangers which is the most important part. Yeah I have done polling, and testing, and talked with my marketing friends and web process design friends (some of whom earns near 1M per year, not saying this makes their ideas surely better, but just showing they are not stupid either and knows the business)

In the end would this work well? who the f knows, even everyone admits you don't know anything for sure online these days. For all I know eventually I find out everything Archeon said is the best method. But this at least start from some where. And like I said, it's not the only video I will make on the subject. I can make slower ones to further explain to people who want detail on patreon, or the lesson plans. I would make super short, faster vid for instagram etc.

But really thanks for the feedback, of course I want them to be blunt...otherwise it is kinda useless. I think the big misunderstanding is you assumed the video is for my core viewers, which is not the case at all. For that I just need 1 screen with my Patreon URL. The video is aimed at the much larger untapped people as a kind of support + subscription service, u know, people that if you don't get their attention and interest the 1st time, they are gone. Showing off and the motivation truth are therefore a lot more important. (that motivation video is also one of my highest rated video )

Had this been 2 years ago where I can reach all my subscribers, I can make anything and it would work. Now days it's much tougher so i expect slow start. But one has to give it a shot and hopefully as i release more content the momentum will build. cheers.

00:00 – 00:26
Right in the begining, I would feel better having a half a second to a second more on the drawing of the lighted stick right before changing screen, right after you say “That can entertain and ignite your own potential”. I think a slight pause in your speech will come handy too as you start speaking again in a very short span of time and that alone was a bit of a challenge to digest quick enough, not to mention that on top of that there’s a text on the screen ("shamelessly showing stuff") that I have to read as well which makes it harder for me. I would appreciate a half-second to a second more on the text screen just so I can read it in a more calm manner and have time to smile since it is a funny remark.

The screens then shows Emma Watson as 1st pick (nice 1st pick in general I think), then the next woman, then the 3rd drawing feels fine speedwise.
However it becomes too quick again from 00:19 to 00:25 as the next 4 drawings (Digital art one girl included – she is 7th) change too quick and you speed up a little bit your speech. I would appreciate a second or two more here because the drawings + speech + text on top of the drawing is kind of a challenge. Please consider that the first time I watched it I struggled with the fast-pacedness to only feel great when I could just watch and enjoy the work without having to listen and multitask. It felt like a calm after the storm.

From 00:26 up to 1:15 feels a nice moment to digest the information and enjoy your previous work. I think you show a good mixture of your drawings so a wide range of people can hook up.
I really like how you present things afterwards. Consider though that this specific phrase of yours: “Stumbling around in the dark, with random disconnected videos. At best you lose a lot of your precious time” left me with the impression that later on you will offer something that resembled a structured model/approach to teaching that helps the individual level up in a certain way by presenting some prepared lessons/“steps” to climb or something. But then again if somebody wants such an approach I guess he/she can just request it.

I think when you say specifically “Polls, streams, livechat” around the 2:10 mark it shouldn’t be as quick saying it in order for the information to be more digestible since it seems an important part of the teaching process.

At 2:20 when the text “Drawing is a SKILL” appears on screen alongside you saying that “Drawing is a skill” is a very good way to add importance to what you say and to breed confidence in the viewer that he/she can achieve it as well.

The elephant at 2:25 and the mountains, the Phelps comparison alongside everything you say – very nicely done imo because it makes me laugh at the elephant at first and then be even more confident that I can learn to be even as good as you.

03:04-03:07 – I would appreciate half a second to a second more here as I think the information you speak is important but since I try to read the “dreams” message on screen simultaneously, it is hard for me to hear what you said and I can miss on that.

03:20 – 03:30 “As my patreon you have access to additional EXCLUSIVE rewards like…” I think you stress in your speech a bit more on “additional” alongside “exclusive” so someone don’t get confused if he will be taught to learn or just give you money just to paint.

03:31-03:32 – I think if someone is interested in learning drawing you should have a half second-second more on the “tweaks of your artwork” thing as might seem intriguing for the learner.
03:33 – Since the ‘tweak your artwork’ came off too quick, I feel I would appreciate a half second-second more on the ‘and whatever else we can think of’ to appreciate the security that the learner and you might come up with something nice for him to learn.