EPTI've been meaning to write you for a while now, but everything has been so busy!
Life is going great- I don't think I've ever been happier. Josie is going to be turning 9 in a couple of weeks. You'd be so proud of her. She's making straight-A's in school, and is also learning to play the violin. She's got a long ways to go, but she did manage to play "Jingle Bells" in front of the whole school at their Christmas Show. When we come visit, I will make sure she brings her violin with her so she can play for you. Andrea and I are both doing well too. She's still teaching 3rd grade, and I'm still selling cars.
I think about you and Grandpa every day. I hope you know that I haven't forgot about what y'all did for me- letting me move in with you those last couple of years of high school probably saved my life. After Mom and Dad divorced, I was a complete wreck. But, you loved me through all of it.
Aunt Diana told me that you begged Grandpa to not kick me out of the house after graduation. I want you to know that you (or Grandpa) shouldn't feel bad about that. I knew the consequences of my choices before I made them. In truth, I think it was the best thing for me. Thank you for loving me enough to make the hard choices.
We tried to come visit you this past Sunday, but the weather was awful. They had a Tornado come through Rowlett the night before. Sunday we started to head your way, but the rain was so bad we could barely see to drive. So, we decided to wait until New Years day.
We were half way there when we got the phone call from Dad that you had passed away. January 1st, 12:15pm. On the one hand, I'm glad that you aren't having to battle your Alzheimers anymore. At the same time, my heart is broken.
I'd give anything to have you there on those steps again- smiling and waving as we get out of the truck. I'd run up and hug you so tight and think twice before I let go. Before I let you go, I want you to know how I'm going to remember you:
-Remember when I was a kid, maybe 3 or 4? Y'all were still living in that house in Sadler. I'd sit in your lap in that old orange recliner, and we'd rock and sing hymns together. I'd always ask you to sing "When the Roll is Called up Yonder" and when that was over you'd ask which one I wanted to sing next.
-I remember sitting with you in church and I'd hold your hand. I remember the sound of your voice singing hymn after hymn. I remember how proud you were when you got to introduce me as your grandson to all the little old ladies in the church.
-I know you didn't like it, but I always got such a laugh when I'd put my cold hands on your face after I'd been outside on a cold winter day.
-Most of all I will remember the hugs. The way it felt to wrap my arms around you. I miss this the most.
I'm so sorry I didn't come to visit you more the last few years. I should have been there with you. You were so good to me, and I let the busyness of life be an excuse to not visit. I hope you will forgive me.
At your graveside, Uncle Daniel played your favorite song on the guitar and sang too. I'll never understand how he was able to get through those songs by himself like that, but he did. You would have loved it.
Grandpa cried. None of us has ever seen him cry before, but he did. He's going to be ok though. You shouldn't worry about him to much. Everyone has agreed to come visit him whether he wants us to or not! I can't go back and visit you the way I should have, but I promise you I'm going to do better about that with Grandpa.
I've been trying so hard to be strong and not break down. I've fought it for so long that my body aches all over, but I just can't seem to let it all out. I hope I can cry it all out soon.
Well, I guess this is goodbye. Please know that you are loved and missed by so many.
I love you.
Josh
<3 
