On August 28 2015 16:09 Qwyn wrote:
Welcome back state-side, Torte. I hope you can find a nice and stable job and and settle in well. I wouldn't worry overly much about abrasive American attitudes, though I bet the culture shock is going to be very, very real. But people are people, and you're a people person

. I've enjoyed seeing you around TL in the past couple years, you've always been a strong and consistent poster and a presence in the scene. It's amazing seeing different community members remain grounded while I'm still lurking, and slowly growing up. Your voice and opinions are read and appreciated.

Your descriptions of eSport and social media are spot on. It feels all too petty, in a way. IMO what it reflects are the growing pains of a infant industry...shades of professionalism are always the last thing to emerge, but they're there, in varying degrees. In the background.

My experience with SC2 as a student mirrors your own in DotA. Lack of structure is killer. I tried hard to improve with varying degrees of structure / success, and ultimately it killed my enjoyment of the game. Being a silent watcher of LOTV, there's a lot which I agree and disagree with in the design direction, but it feels worthless to post about it. My thoughts about what I'd like SC to be are hardcore...they run so far against standing norms and the current direction of LOTV that detailing them feels like a waste of time. In the back of my mind, I recognize that I'm burnt out. Even if the game were to be designed exactly as I desire, I likely won't bother diving into it again.

All games are starting to feel that way to me, now. I break apart the structure...the plot and pacing...the core mechanics...and in the end I get this wishy-washy feeling of sameness in my gut. I've come to interpret that as meaning my time with video games has come to an end. So I play the occasional puzzle game, and have otherwise stopped playing the games I used to play.

I guess that just means it's time to find another hobby to occupy my time

I'll be in the States in the middle of September and then a complete relocation at the end of September. Yeah, I enjoy the neutral courtesy of Europeans and general acceptance of cultural diversity and such. Not sure how it'll be like in America, but I know things move much faster and there's an overreach to be helpful and involved.

I really appreciate the kind words. I'm actually slowly posting less and less on Reddit because it does get pretty cynical pretty fast and the negativity burns me out when I just don't want to deal with it. We've been here for like 5 years now and I actually can't remember another community where I felt a part of, even if it's less so than before. What are you doing these days that you think is "grown up"?

It does feel petty and I never realized how it might be growing pains in an infant industry.

Whenever I think of RTS, I think about the fun I had in Age of Empires over the challenge I had in StarCraft II. In StarCraft, I never felt like I had a "base", but just an armory to build more units. Maybe because I played Zerg I don't feel that way but when I think of Age of Empires, I think about an unexplored random map where I have to send my villagers to go and, with risk, collect resources, strategize how to build my walls and what units to build towards. Maybe I should switch to Terran or something, I don't know. Maybe I'm burnt out, but I always liked cooperative games over the isolating nature of 1 vs. 1 where I have to accept the mistakes and flaws are mine. Too much truth for me haha.

I actually feel like that a lot about games. A lot of games start to feel dull and if they don't have the right "grab" for me from the get-go, I uninstall. I think it's because games have too much emphasis on your life right now and not so much that you grew out of it. When I'm working, I want to play games all day, but when I have all this free time, the games depress me more than create enjoyment. I recently finished Batman: Arkham Knight and it was honestly the best game I played in 2015; it did everything right and I had a lot of fun, a rarity these days (for singleplayer games).

Keep playing games, but also try a new hobby! Doesn't hurt to have more :D

On August 28 2015 02:14 Otolia wrote:
Damn I thought you were still in Berlin. Shows how much out of the loop I've been since the end of 2013.

Good luck to you man !

Nah, if you're not religiously following the blog or my Twitter, you would never know I relocated/started a new job.

Thanks a lot, I appreciate that. I hope you are doing good, I still remember your suggestions of Berlin restaurants!

adwodon

United Kingdom592 Posts

August 29 2015 07:07 GMT

#22

I'd love to give the states a go but I know I wouldn't fit into the work culture there. It's one of the reasons I left London and empathise with those Danes. My time is my time, work can only disturb that if its absolutely necessary, which thankfully with my job (software engineer) is basically never. I don't think its necessarily bad to love work and want to do it all the time, but to me I like to read, upgrade my flat and just generally relax and have a good time, having that disturbed by work would piss me off no end and I enjoy my job. I guess a lot of Americans have that protestant 'work brings you closer to god' background so feel like they define themselves in some sense by their job. I really don't and the only people I know who do are Doctors (alas I know a lot of them), probably because the job is so demanding they don't have time to develop a life outside of it.

I hear you about games, used to play a lot but these days its hard to find the desire, I sit down, crack on the PS4 and just flick through games unable to decide what to play, despite still needing to finish The Witcher 3 and fuck knows how many indie titles. I can't say it bothers me, I'd like to be able to use my time a bit more effectively though, rather than flicking through uncertain just do something else but considering I read a fair bit and listen to audiobooks in the car and go to the gym / climb the only thing I want to do more of is play drums and pick up drawing again.

Did you play the other Batman games? Arkham Asylum was my favourite game of last generation and while City was good, it was just a less focused version of the same game, with a few minor refinements, I felt like it lost more than it gained and Knight looks similar in that regard, Maybe I'll pick it up one day but I think MGS5, Dark Souls 3 and LotV (probably just the singleplayer) are higher on my list and I kind of want to pick up Until Dawn as it looks like fun and I've heard good (but not great) things.

Torte de Lini

Germany38463 Posts

August 29 2015 08:23 GMT

#23

On August 29 2015 16:07 adwodon wrote:
I'd love to give the states a go but I know I wouldn't fit into the work culture there. It's one of the reasons I left London and empathise with those Danes. My time is my time, work can only disturb that if its absolutely necessary, which thankfully with my job (software engineer) is basically never. I don't think its necessarily bad to love work and want to do it all the time, but to me I like to read, upgrade my flat and just generally relax and have a good time, having that disturbed by work would piss me off no end and I enjoy my job. I guess a lot of Americans have that protestant 'work brings you closer to god' background so feel like they define themselves in some sense by their job. I really don't and the only people I know who do are Doctors (alas I know a lot of them), probably because the job is so demanding they don't have time to develop a life outside of it.

I hear you about games, used to play a lot but these days its hard to find the desire, I sit down, crack on the PS4 and just flick through games unable to decide what to play, despite still needing to finish The Witcher 3 and fuck knows how many indie titles. I can't say it bothers me, I'd like to be able to use my time a bit more effectively though, rather than flicking through uncertain just do something else but considering I read a fair bit and listen to audiobooks in the car and go to the gym / climb the only thing I want to do more of is play drums and pick up drawing again.

Did you play the other Batman games? Arkham Asylum was my favourite game of last generation and while City was good, it was just a less focused version of the same game, with a few minor refinements, I felt like it lost more than it gained and Knight looks similar in that regard, Maybe I'll pick it up one day but I think MGS5, Dark Souls 3 and LotV (probably just the singleplayer) are higher on my list and I kind of want to pick up Until Dawn as it looks like fun and I've heard good (but not great) things.

Yeah, work culture is something I'm fearful of as well. With EU, I feel like we work out of pride of our position while in the US; they dangle a higher-paying (or position) job in hopes of motivating you. I'm sure that's just a blanket generalization, but I've experienced in first-hand twice and it was incredibly annoying because they can easily flip that to a negative.

With most jobs, at least in esports, the expectations are: Long hours, multiple responsibilities and roles, creative input. But that could be more of a start-up mentality than an esport one. Not sure about the God bit for US, I think it's more of just doing everything you can and not just "what I'm paid to do".

I hear you on the productivity, I'd like to write again and do more than just guides, but I usually can't bring myself to do it. Same with the gym, learn a new language. 6 years ago, I would just do it. Now, not so much. What kind of audiobooks do you listen to?

I played all of them, but didn't finish Arkham Origins. I felt City was the best minus when you swap to Catwoman or something. But Arkham Knight kept a lot of the good in City and expanded it. Some of it is mindless and some of the missions are weak in plot, but I still enjoyed it. I've never played Metal Gear Solid and I wish I did or at least played the old ones. I'm waiting on No Man's Sky and might pick up Rocket League.