• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 17:38
CEST 23:38
KST 06:38
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall9HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16Code S RO4 & Finals Preview: herO, Rogue, Classic, GuMiho0TL Team Map Contest #5: Presented by Monster Energy6
Community News
Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL58Weekly Cups (June 23-29): Reynor in world title form?13FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event19Esports World Cup 2025 - Final Player Roster16Weekly Cups (June 16-22): Clem strikes back1
StarCraft 2
General
Program: SC2 / XSplit / OBS Scene Switcher Statistics for vetoed/disliked maps The SCII GOAT: A statistical Evaluation Weekly Cups (June 23-29): Reynor in world title form? PiG Sty Festival #5: Playoffs Preview + Groups Recap
Tourneys
FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series Korean Starcraft League Week 77 Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) [GSL 2025] Code S: Season 2 - Semi Finals & Finals
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 480 Moths to the Flame Mutation # 479 Worn Out Welcome Mutation # 478 Instant Karma Mutation # 477 Slow and Steady
Brood War
General
SC uni coach streams logging into betting site Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL BGH Mineral Boosts Tutorial Video Player “Jedi” cheat on CSL Replays question
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL20] Grand Finals - Sunday 20:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0 [BSL20] GosuLeague RO16 - Tue & Wed 20:00+CET
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers I am doing this better than progamers do.
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile What do you want from future RTS games? Beyond All Reason
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine The Games Industry And ATVI
Fan Clubs
SKT1 Classic Fan Club! Maru Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NHL Playoffs 2024
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Blogs
Culture Clash in Video Games…
TrAiDoS
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
Blog #2
tankgirl
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Trip to the Zoo
micronesia
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 512 users

For my friend

Blogs > Skrelt
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Skrelt
Profile Joined November 2010
Netherlands306 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-08-18 17:24:45
August 16 2015 13:34 GMT
#1
Some time ago a dear friend of mine passed away. Long story short, he had cancer. I told him to write a diary or book but like the stubborn prick he was he always told me he never did. A few days after he passed away his sister contacted me and she found some notes on his laptop. In these notes he mentions things that helped him in these rough times. At first his family didn’t want the story to get posted online (the reason why I think it should will get clear once you read his story). But I left it at that at first. But a few days ago my mother was diagnosed with the same type of cancer. Spending so much time with her, and her telling so much things I never know about moments she experienced it became clear to me people should tell their life story’s so I went back to his family and confronted them with it. They made me promise that I didn’t use his real name or any information that would lead back to him because they want to mourn their loss in peace. And that i can respect. But I am able to share his story now. Slightly edited cause some things are not relevant here (aka pain, illness etc.). And he mentions his own name sometimes in here, I have replaced it with Jack. Which is a name he really hated so the last thing I do form him is to get that fucker back for not telling me the truth about his writing. So here is Jack’s story:



I find it strange that I have accepted that my days are coming to an end so soon... I always thought that would be the hardest thing about dying. Losing everything you worked for your entire life. My parents always taught me I should work hard and get a job with which you can make a lot of money so you can do the things you always wanted to do, like buying a fancy car, big house, lots of holidays to far away lands, but no matter how hard you work, always be fair. I love my parents, but I think they raised me wrong, because with all the money they had there still was no cure for me. I worked so hard only to learn that I can be happy without money as well.

I don’t even miss the old times, which is what I found most strange at all, except for the part of me having cancer of course xD. I wasn’t a typical gamer, hell, I wasn’t even a gamer at all in the first place. I played football (not handegg you bloody Americans!!). Which is big here in the Netherlands. A lot of people admired me cause I was an attacking midfielder for my club and on top of that I was the captain! I had a good body and the girls knew.... My ex Jacky was the goddamn best looking girl you will ever see. Also when I finished my school I could combine my lifestyle of sports and a nice girlfriend with a good job, finally buying a house of my own. But that is when shit happened. In that summer I was relaxing at the beach when suddenly my legs didn’t move while playing beach football. I just didn’t know what was happening to me, I started to cry but I couldn’t feel the pain, it felt so surreal, I just didn’t have the power to move myself from the spot on which I stood, but apparently I fell down, I have no fucking clue what happened but the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance going to the hospital.

The next few days were a blur for me. I just had so much pain that they gave me so much medication I couldn’t feel a thing. But to be honest, staying awake then is the hardest thing you will ever do xD. They did a few tests and a week after that the news was out: I had cancer. Yes, I, Jack, the man who had it all in the palms of his hand, money, people who envied him, girls, had fucking cancer.

A few days after I could leave the hospital. The cancer was located in my spine and some organs. Long story short, there is nothing they could do for me. But I actually felt fine physically at that point. I was scared shitless because I was diagnosed with cancer. A type of cancer that will take my life rather sooner than later, but how on this goddamn earth could my body feel fine? Time remaining: 1 to 2 years.

A few days passed while I just lay down on bed watching TV and a lot of people dropping by and calling to ask how I felt. I realized I only had 6 months left to do the things I wanted to do cause after that I probably wouldn’t be able to walk.... like ever again. I felt a lot of comfort in having people around me from my football squad, friends and family. So I made a list of things I would like to do and started working on it! I worked my entire life why would I stop now? I wanted to keep playing soccer as much as possible, drive a nice car, go on a holiday with my lovely soon to be ex-girlfriend and visit some major football games. But dear lord, the list couldn’t be a bigger miss.

Almost all the people who I considered friends at that time, from my squad or school, started treating me like I was made of glass. They looked at me with pity. They didn’t challenge my calls as a captain anymore, they never engaged me in a duel of some friendly fighting like we used to do. Okay I was ill but I wasn’t dead for Christ's sake. I've got 6 good months of life left but the only things you guys see is a walking corpse. But that wasn’t even the worst I had to endure, it was my lovely ex Jacky. Every time we made love after that I felt like she wasn’t there. Every time I looked in her eyes the only thing I could see was worry and despair of being with me. When I told her if she still felt the same way as she did before she told me things have changed, that it wasn’t the cancer, I think she said more after that point but I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The girl I loved, with which I wanted to spend the rest of my life, left me. Just like that, during the time I needed her most.

2 months have passed since I was diagnosed with cancer and I broke with all my friends and family other than my parents and my sister. I really hope I never see these fucking sons of goats again. Which in my case is fortunate because I don’t have long left to live anyway. My ex Jacky now has a relationship with the new captain of my former soccer squad. Bunch of idiots. I didn’t matter anymore. The only respect I had was when I was the best player and with that being gone, I did not matter anymore. And on top of that, my ex-girlfriend is fucking the new captain... It wasn’t the cancer... Yea right. My family was just as bad. They all stopped by to tell me how much they would miss me. I mean, my funeral pyre is at least 4 months away, can’t you just address me as Jack, make a bad joke or just punch me on the shoulder like you guys used to do? And not even once had they told me they hoped I would recover or feel any better, no THEY felt bad. Needless to say I told everyone to go fuck themselves, I raged, I fucking broke my foot kicking the shit out of the faggot who stole my ex and I never felt as bad as I did at that moment. I had no friends, no family which would support me, my parents are always busy with their work, nothing to live for and 4 months left. Suicide seemed a better option by the minute.

That’s when I discovered the things that helped me get through this difficult period of time: a good friend and online gaming. I had this slightly odd friend at school waaaaaay back, named skrelt. Everyone always found him strange. He only did the things in school he wanted to do, listened to the music he wanted to listen to (have you ever seen an 8-year-old listen to Queen, Sabbath and Iron Maiden? His dad didn’t even like Maiden or Sabbath!) but I always tried to be as nice as possible to people and so I did that to skrelt as well. He always found some time to help me repair my computer/laptop and we sometimes went out and just talked for hours while drinking some cola. He doesn’t like beer for some strange ultra gay reason. But off all the people in the world I never expected him to be at my doorstep when I felt most miserable. I never came to his birthdays even though he did invite me, never invited him to mine because he wasn’t one of the cool kids, although he knew I didn’t invite him because my friends and girlfriend thought he was weird. When he found out he came over to my house and had a chat with my sister. When she told him I just sat in my room, stopped football and basically everything social I had, he came back later that day with a laptop. This person, who I didn’t even consider a friend, GAVE ME A FUCKING LAPTOP. When I asked him why, he just answered: so you can play video games of course lol.

It took me 3 days before I touched the thing, I just felt miserable but every day skrelt would call once or twice to ask if I would join him in a game of Starcraft 2. The 3rd time I gave in. I played some CoD and Fifa before, and of course I know what SC2 was but never ever did I play that game. So I was surprised when I booted the laptop it was already installed. That guy BOUGHT ME FUCKING SC2. I just couldn’t comprehend the act of selflessness of that fucker.

And then the best thing ever happened to me. I have never felt any better in my life. A week after I started playing SC2 I 4-gated this zerg (4-gate is a protoss build order that used to be considered OP). And when I was on the brink of victory, you know what happened? The guy called me a faggot... He called me a faggot... I couldn’t believe what I saw. I am dying of cancer, and here is this random internet person just calling me a faggot, a cheap fucking gay cheesing faggot. I am not gay but I would have kissed that person. For the first time since it was known I had cancer someone acted like I was a normal person. And you random stranger, I wanted to thank you. You saved my life! At least for a while!

I had something to do in life again, becoming better at Starcraft 2! With my newfound powers but no sense for strategy in this game, skrelt suggested I should watch a person called Day[9]. Ladies and fucking gentlepeople, this person should be president.

Day[9] became one of my best friends without him knowing it. He meant so much for me. I learned so much from him. The next 3 months he would be my coach to the diamond league in SC2! But not just for SC2, he also shines his light on what it is to be a gamer, to just enjoy the things that you love. He is the reason why the relationship with my parents and sister was restored while I am still alive, for which I am eternally grateful. And his story about kittens and ninja stars helped me a lot these difficult times. Just to be happy with the things I have and that I should not be focused on the bad things in life but just BE positive, no matter what. I don’t know if you ever read this Day[9] but you are a hero amongst men, I salute you.

And of course Incontrol and idra. Dear lord did they crush some nerds on their streams. The talk shows of SC2 with ItmeJP and nony. I laughed my spine out. Always when I watched State of the Game you people put a smile on my face.

One year has gone past and and I am still going strong. Although I can’t move my fingers as fast as I used to or walk. Silver league is still within my reach! The cancer did progress a lot. But you know what, the cool thing about gaming: it doesn’t matter how good you are, on every level people call you a faggot.

Had to stop sc2. Couldn’t move my left hand well enough over the keyboard to use my hotkeys well enough, and I couldn’t bear Day[9] seeing me play without hotkeys! Switched over to DotA 2, or Cyka2 as a lot of people call it. Spent some good time with skrelt just goofing around. And watching The International.

I basically just lived behind my laptop the last months. I can’t walk, I can barely eat. I lost all muscle I ever had. So it was a good change of pace to get out of the house with skrelt. We went to the beach where it happened. The first sign of my cancer. I didn’t know if I wanted to go but now I am here I feel at peace. I realized that the things I lost “because” of cancer where things I could do without my entire life. But the things I have gained while I have cancer, a real friend and a family who supports me no matter what I do, are the things that make these last few month worth living. It is good to see skrelt finally drink a fucking beer as well although I had to force him! His argument of driving a wheelchair was judged invalid! Although it did rain and the faggot left me standing in the rain, it is good to be treated like a normal person again. I also sneaked in a beer myself! Just standing there on the beach with my friend in the rain was the best thing he could ever do. Never have I found rain this peaceful. A sight to see, the sea when it is raining. I cried. Never in this entire time did I shed a tear but there. And I know that fucker saw me cry, although he never commented on it. Just said it was a good day for rain. I had finally found peace in my life, and whenever death would come, I could shake his hand and welcome him. BUT NOT BEFORE ANOTHER GAME OF DOTA!

2 years have passed. I feel a lot of pain. But also a lot of comfort. I limit myself to watching streams of iceiceice, singsing, admiral bulldog and notail when they are online. I almost can’t move anymore, typing takes an immense amount of effort so these streams from them are always nice to watch. I think it is my time soon. I never thought I would feel good enough the past few months to write something but I found a bit of energy. Realized my life would be meaningless just working another job and making money like my parents did. My cancer saved their marriage. We got closer as a family. After I passed away they are going to spend all their time helping people like myself. And thanks to that dipshit who keeps visiting me here in the hospital I know that the people that truly care about me are here.



After writing this he passed away 7 days later. At the age of 25. I had to translate the stuff because he wrote it in Dutch(Nederlands) and in the later stages of his cancer he talks allot about the pain and his relation ship with girls and a lot of personal stuff which i am not going to share. I believe he wanted Day[9], Incontrol, idra, ItmeJP, Nony, Singsing, Notaill, Bulldog and iceiceice and all the other streamers and casters to know what it meant for him to watch the content they brought out and helped him in his final years and moments of his life. He slept a lot the last few months/weeks but always he fell asleep to content of em, dota2 or sc2. I hope this will reach them as I have no phone number or email address to tell them: thank you. I hope this helps people who are sick all over the world to grab their illness by the throat and smack it down like my friend did. He lost the battle for sure, but he died a happy man.

I want to thank everyone for reading this. It means allot to his family who are moved by what everyone has to say and that they took the time to write something back. Even the celebrity's.

Dear Sir, It is raining today, and today is just as good, be well my friend.

+ Show Spoiler +
In replay to nony and some other people who mentioned it aswell, he wrote down that he is fine with people reading what he wrote down, he just feels kinda silly writing a diary. it is considered a bit of a pussy thing to do in holland for a guy. that is why he kept it a secret.

+ Show Spoiler +
Thanks to SirIlliterate who was the best grammar nazi today
The Wolfpack - Metalband from the Netherlands
hoby2000
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States918 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-08-16 14:19:07
August 16 2015 14:18 GMT
#2
Dude, that was an excellent read. I loved the irony of him feeling normal because someone called him a faggot. I understand how people might think that's weird, but it's awesome to see how something that can bring me so much anger can bring someone else happiness.

That was really inspiring. Thank you for your effort to obtain this and share it

Also thank you Jack for being an inspiration!
A lesson without pain is meaningless for nothing can be gained without giving something in return.
kellymilkies
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Singapore1393 Posts
August 16 2015 15:09 GMT
#3
RIP Jack. Thank you for sharing his story Skrelt
Be the change you wish to see in the world ^-^V //
Bigtony
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1606 Posts
August 16 2015 15:19 GMT
#4
Rest in peace, faggot.
Push 2 Harder
Yemaka
Profile Joined May 2012
Denmark44 Posts
August 16 2015 15:33 GMT
#5
Well If that don't bring a tear out, few things will.. RIP jack and thank you for reminding how you need to teasure the real things in life.
"If Kim david nerf toss I kill murder him" Mc.
BananaShakee
Profile Joined January 2013
Netherlands2 Posts
August 16 2015 15:35 GMT
#6
Rust in vrede, faggot

User was warned for this post
Get money, Fuck bitches.
jume
Profile Joined February 2014
Germany25 Posts
August 16 2015 15:40 GMT
#7
Thanks for sharing this story and being a "real" friend to Jack.
hyptonic
Profile Joined June 2011
2155 Posts
August 16 2015 15:57 GMT
#8
You're a good person Skrelt, should be an inspiration to all.
bosshdt
Profile Joined April 2015
Afghanistan98 Posts
August 16 2015 15:58 GMT
#9
U are the good friend he is talking about Skrelt. Yes.
People are disgusting & family also in times of need u will know ur true friends.
cheers.
General_Eddy
Profile Joined August 2015
1 Post
August 16 2015 16:12 GMT
#10
Skrelt thankyou for sharing this emotional read.

I found it very inspiring and just wanna say my prayers go out to Jack!

Just shows one day you can have it all, and the next it can come crashing down. Those you love, keep close for your time might be near, or perhaps theirs.

Rest in peace.
LA_Morello
Profile Joined July 2011
Brazil143 Posts
August 16 2015 16:34 GMT
#11
That was a good read, thanks.
grumpyone
Profile Joined January 2011
48 Posts
August 16 2015 16:51 GMT
#12
Very intense and amazing story. Thanks for sharing it.
Tenrou12
Profile Joined August 2015
1 Post
August 16 2015 16:51 GMT
#13
My dad died by cancer a few months ago, and i am litterally crying at this.
I hope all the people mentioned in the "blog/whatever" read this, as this is the highest possible praise any streamer/content creator could EVER get. Your friend sounds like such a sincere and real person - and someone the world will surely miss.
Mindreko
Profile Joined June 2011
Australia5 Posts
August 16 2015 16:54 GMT
#14
Great read, thank you man. Gaming truly brings people together! RIP to your friend.
iMrising
Profile Blog Joined March 2012
United States1099 Posts
August 16 2015 17:09 GMT
#15
On August 17 2015 00:35 BananaShakee wrote:
Rust in vrede, faggot

Quality first post.
Im glad you posted. Thank you for sharing your story.
$O$ | soO
FlaShFTW
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States10141 Posts
August 16 2015 17:21 GMT
#16
Not gonna lie I laughed when he felt happy someone called him a faggot. A really great read. Cancer is a bitch :c

Rest in peace your friend.
Writer#1 KT and FlaSh Fanboy || Woo Jung Ho Never Forget || Teamliquid Political Decision Desk
TL+ Member
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
August 16 2015 17:28 GMT
#17
Thank you for sharing! I'm glad Jack found his peace.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
ArchDC
Profile Joined May 2011
Malaysia1996 Posts
August 16 2015 17:37 GMT
#18
Thanks for sharing.
tissue
Profile Joined April 2009
Malaysia441 Posts
August 16 2015 17:40 GMT
#19
You did what some people aspire to do all their lives, to make a significant difference in one person's life.
gneGne
Profile Joined June 2007
Netherlands697 Posts
August 16 2015 17:52 GMT
#20
Gecondoleerd met je verlies Skrelt, al is het een aantal(?) jaren geleden gebeurd. Er is niks mooiers dan echte vriendschap.

User was warned for this post
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 12h 22m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
JuggernautJason125
ProTech81
StarCraft: Brood War
firebathero 243
Rock 38
NaDa 19
LancerX 17
Dota 2
LuMiX1
League of Legends
Grubby3751
Dendi1563
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu509
Khaldor266
Other Games
summit1g8577
FrodaN2420
fl0m980
Mlord623
RotterdaM334
Sick71
Organizations
Other Games
EGCTV1063
BasetradeTV43
StarCraft 2
angryscii 32
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 24 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH280
• StrangeGG 68
• davetesta32
• musti20045 27
• tFFMrPink 20
• OhrlRock 3
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• LaughNgamezSOOP
StarCraft: Brood War
• Pr0nogo 5
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21139
• Ler142
League of Legends
• Doublelift4210
• Jankos2586
Other Games
• imaqtpie1102
• WagamamaTV570
• Shiphtur304
Upcoming Events
RSL Revival
12h 22m
Clem vs Classic
SHIN vs Cure
FEL
14h 22m
WardiTV European League
14h 22m
BSL: ProLeague
20h 22m
Dewalt vs Bonyth
Replay Cast
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
WardiTV European League
2 days
The PondCast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
RSL Revival
4 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
5 days
RSL Revival
5 days
FEL
5 days
RSL Revival
6 days
FEL
6 days
FEL
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

BSL 2v2 Season 3
HSC XXVII
Heroes 10 EU

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
BSL Season 20
Acropolis #3
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
CSL 17: 2025 SUMMER
Copa Latinoamericana 4
Championship of Russia 2025
RSL Revival: Season 1
Murky Cup #2
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters
CCT Season 2 Global Finals
IEM Melbourne 2025

Upcoming

2025 ACS Season 2: Qualifier
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
2025 ACS Season 2
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
K-Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
SEL Season 2 Championship
FEL Cracov 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.