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I love Esports, probably too much. I've always been a fairly obsessive person and ever since I started gaming I've always been obsessed with being the best at it. The idea of being one of the best at something I enjoy is a driving force behind most of my decisions as a gamer and it's this reason that Esports are ruining gaming for me.
Take for example the games I enjoy vs the games I force myself to play. I love Counterstrike and recently I'm also enjoying Heroes of the storm. However, I don't really enjoy socialising with other people outside of in game chats/in game voice so my brain uses the logic that even if I got good at these games I could never compete because I don't really see myself wanting to get to know 4 random people. For this reason I force myself to play games like Hearthstone, which is kind of fun but I don't really enjoy it, because it's a solo competitive game.
This terrible logic that I need to play and act in games based on the idea that I might be pro some day keeps me from ever really playing one game and enjoying or joining one scene which sucks and overall ruins my gaming experience. I'm constantly jumping from game to game, playing for a day then thinking "Oh I would be better served playing this game" then just doing this cycle over and over.
I'm not really sure what I can do at this point or how I can get over this idea that esports is something that's ever going to matter in my daily life but I can recognize that it's important.
  
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Estonia4644 Posts
So basically you are ruining gaming for yourself, instead of ESPORTS doing so.
You identify plenty of reasons why you are not or won't be the best, so you know what you should fix or if that is not possible, move on.
So I guess that is the plan, either fix some of those issues, or move on.
Blaming ESPORTS on anything in your case is ridiculous, you've got yourself to work on before that is even an issue.
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All the solutions lie with you, and not extraneously.
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You do not enjoy solo competitive games, you do not enjoy meeting people or socialising. That is not terrible logic, that is a procrastination strategy.
You know what, even if you are not pro material.
Doesn't mean that esports can't be a big part of your life, or even that you can't be a big part of esports.
From casters, organizers, managers, trainers, journalists to administration, direction, camera work, translating there are plenty of places to be part of the bigger picture without being in the center of it. But in that case, socialise. You gonna die someday, stop wasting time.
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On January 26 2015 03:48 fusefuse wrote:
So basically you are ruining gaming for yourself, instead of ESPORTS doing so.
You identify plenty of reasons why you are not or won't be the best, so you know what you should fix or if that is not possible, move on.
So I guess that is the plan, either fix some of those issues, or move on.
Blaming ESPORTS on anything in your case is ridiculous, you've got yourself to work on before that is even an issue.
I wasn't blaming esports directly even though I can see how my post comes off that way, yes this is a personal issue and entirely a problem brought on by my mindset.
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Don't blame eSports. Blame the Patriarchy.
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Lalalaland34503 Posts
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Estonia4644 Posts
On January 26 2015 03:51 Esoterikk wrote:
I wasn't blaming esports directly even though I can see how my post comes off that way, yes this is a personal issue and entirely a problem brought on by my mindset.
Well you kind of did, it says so right in the title
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On January 26 2015 04:07 Firebolt145 wrote:
It's all nina's fault.
I admit it. 
I want to apologize to all the fan, next time I got for da knockout.
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Let the idea go that you 'might become pro someday'. With a mindset like that it is never going to happen. Im not saying you should switch your mindset to I will become pro. its probably never going to happen and who cares, just enjoy playing the games you like playing. Btw, being competitive at a game doesnt have to have anything to do with becoming pro. You can enjoy being competitive at something too, even when you know youll never even come near the pro scene. Bottom line is, stop putting so much pressure on yourself and decide on what you enjoy doing, and what you dont.
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Hong Kong9178 Posts
not having more opportunities to partake in roscoe's chicken n waffles is something I firmly place all blame upon esports.
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things can matter in your daily life without you having to rank yourself within it. Not being a pro doesn't mean you can't enjoy a great game of SCII whether you are playing or spectating. What matters is the enjoyment you draw from them, not what you could be drawing from them in a different present.
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I love Esports, probably too much. I've always been a fairly obsessive person and ever since I started gaming I've always been obsessed with being the best at it. The idea of being one of the best at something I enjoy is a driving force behind most of my decisions as a gamer and it's this reason that Esports are ruining gaming for me.
Take for example the games I enjoy vs the games I force myself to play. I love Counterstrike and recently I'm also enjoying Heroes of the storm. However, I don't really enjoy socialising with other people outside of in game chats/in game voice so my brain uses the logic that even if I got good at these games I could never compete because I don't really see myself wanting to get to know 4 random people. For this reason I force myself to play games like Hearthstone, which is kind of fun but I don't really enjoy it, because it's a solo competitive game.
This terrible logic that I need to play [...... ]
One paragraph, 3 repetitions of the same word
1 loving something too much
2 obsessive
3 obsessed
Followed by:
4 Forcing oneself
5 "my brain" uses the logic
6 terrible logic
Goodness. According to you:
You're obsessed.
Your brain is out of your control.
You logic (brain) is terrible.
Even your ID is "esoteric"
And yet you think that something external is the problem.
Please wake up from your delusion and take some responsibility. Find help if you need to.
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I wouldn't consider playing multiplayer games "e-sports" just because they are games that are commonly played as such. It sounds like a mentality issue or the fact you aren't the person who really enjoys multiplayer games and that's perfectly fine. You don't have to force yourself to enjoy an e-sport game no matter how much you want to get into it, there are people who haven't touched SC2 in months or barely play Brood War yet still follow the games earnestly and enjoy spectating more than playing. I would suggest you take a break from playing the games, maybe stick with playing some single player ones or only watch for a while and see if you still enjoy them.
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I read the title and decided that there are some things that don't deserve to be thought about. Overthinking things is an issue a lot of people have. This would be an example, in my opinion.
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EPT
