EPTWell, here is my next installment of the Jamie blog series.
So just for those who were not familiar, I met Jamie in high school at an end-of-marching-band gathering, where we became close, then I got in an altercation with her boyfriend, and we didn't talk for a while. Then we both went off to college...and when we came back, last time, she revealed that she still had feelings for me, and we almost had sex but her brother came home just as it was about to happen. [For more details consult my previous blog].
One would think that in the ensuing seven months that I would have sealed the deal by now...and...well...you'll find out ;D. But you know how Murphy's law states that "anything that can go wrong, will?" Well, you're about to hear how fucking true that rule is. Fuck you, Murphy.
So both of us were really eager when we came back from college for the summer. She was going to be in Korea for the month of the summer, but we had a week before she had to depart. I saw her the day after she arrived, and she said that she wanted to have an eventful day building up to "the moment." So I took her to the movies [we watched the Fault in Our Stars...though we didn't really "watch" it that much if you know what I mean], and then we ate some food, cruised around town for a bit...and then...
"So, Jamie..."
"So, Randy..." [my alias for the story, that is not my real name]
I looked at her awkwardly.
She blushed, but leaned onto me.
"Are you excited?" She asks. "It'll be my first time."
"Yeah, same here." I said, my heart racing.
Then, I realized I should probably think this through.
"So where is this gonna happen?"
And then we realized that we had a problem. Because there were people at my house, there were people at her house, I didn't want to do it in my car because I had to drive my family to downtown LA tomorrow, and it would be super awkward. Jamie's car could not be accessed without tipping off her family. Ehhh....
We decided to go buy condoms first. Okay, I have been in some fucking awkward ass situations, but holy fuck was that awkward...especially since one of my buddies from high school was working the register that night. He looked at me, then at Jamie, and his eyebrows disappeared into his hair. I got out of that one alive though.
So we make it to my car, it's around 9:00pm, and it's starting to get pretty breezy. Now we could have done it outdoors, but we could've gotten sick, and I really didn't want that. So we went to a motel...but it turns out that all the ones in our hometown required us to be anywhere between 21 and 25...and we were neither LOL. The bathroom at the park was being occupied by some people smokin' dank. So we kept driving around, looking for places to do it. She really wanted it to be something special...and I really tried to make it "special" too LOL. I asked her about the beach, and she just looked at me funny. So that was out of the question. I called up a bunch of my homies, but none of them were able to provide me with such a place.
Man, I hadn't thought about how difficult it was to secure a place of relative security and privacy for like an hour or so.
At this point it's like 10:30pm. I obviously didn't know my hometown well enough, since I wasn't able to come up with anywhere to go. So we decided to go to our old high school...since it was going to be deserted right? The only problem was, there were like no lights at night for the parts where we were going, and most of the campus was outdoors, so there would be a slight wind, but meh. Also, we picked the darker parts because if we stayed in the light, we risked being spotted by the stray wanderer.
So I took her to the second story buildings, and we went to the second floor, which was in full view of the apartment complex next to the school, but we "reasoned" that it would be too dark for anyone to see or hear anything.
She looked me in the eyes, and I looked at her, and I felt this incredible rush of emotion. I was taken over by it, and we just started making out. She like straight up launches herself at me and I hit the [brick] wall and slid down, and she climbed onto of me, smothering her face into mine. Thank goodness it was summer, so it was somewhat warm as my shirt came off. She tried to pull my pants down, but sitting in the cold concrete was fucking uncomfortable, so I had to like put my jacket [poor jacket, it'll be needing a wash T_T] under me and all that stuff. Then she like puts her hands in that general area and I'm getting really erotic since no one really touches me there ever [except people trying to kick, but that hasn't happened that much recently]...then I get a phone call from my mother.
God dammit, I'm not answering this shit. I squelch my phone and Jamie continues doing her thing.
She calls again. Fuck. I answer.
"Mom, I'm kind of busy at the moment."
"Oh. Well, tonight's your turn to do the dishes, don't forget." [Except in Chinese]
"Okay, I'll do it, bye."
[Mother hangs up]
So then we get back to doing our thing, and I have her pants pulled down, and I'm literally fondling her everywhere and she's gently moaning when all of a sudden -
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Yelled some cranky old lady. "THIS IS PUBLIC PROPERTY, GO FIND A ROOM!"
And I couldn't see for a moment as she shined a flashlight on our faces, with both of us like half naked and I straight up, with one of the loudest voices ever commanded, screamed "FUCK" like bone-rattling enough to wake up all of the children in the apartment complex, and I pulled Jamie up, we quickly dressed as that stupid old bitch said "Gerald, hun, call the police!" and it took me a few seconds to pick up the condoms scattered on the floor [I'm kind of a klutz when my energy level is raised to such extremes] and then we straight up booked it down the hall.
Apparently the security guard [they had one? wtf] caught wind of what was happening and yelled at us to stop, but both of us [I was holding her hand, how romantic :3] like booked it, and I gave her a boost over the gate, but there was no time to climb it myself. So I ran down to the other end, I did a corner wall jump thing [you run at a wall and use it to bounce you on top of the other] and I like straight up flip over it because I was so adrenalized I forgot it wasn't a fence [there was no hole for my hand to pivot on] and I straight up flipped into the bush. I get up outta there, in a LOT of pain, since I knew the fatass security guy chasing me wouldn't be able to climb the fence. Jamie was waiting for me at my car and we book it out of there.
After that little episode, Jamie didn't really feel like it anymore...so I took her home. She kissed me on the cheek and said, "next time, definitely."
So we didn't see each other for like five days since plans with family and friends and stuff kept us apart. But when we did...
...it seemed like the status of our relationship was the first thing on her mind. I didn't know if I was ready to commit to a long term thing...I mean she'd be gone for most of the summer, and I'd be gone later on, and then we'd both be in school...far, far away from each other...
Don't get me wrong, I really, really, really, really liked her. I loved everything about her...but I didn't know if I loved her yet. But she definitely was one of my best friends at this point, and I had a habit of falling in love with them. But the last time that that happened...it wasn't too pretty. So I was really afraid...I didn't want to lose my best friend, but I also really wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I wanted to show her, through romantic interaction, what I felt for her, and I wanted to connect with her on that deeper level.
Yet the fear of being hurt was really getting to me.
"Will you be my boyfriend?" She asked, super cutely.
"Sure, kind of...let's be an item for the summer." I said, very reluctantly. "Then we'll see how things go as school starts."
She looked somewhat disappointed, and I told her my concerns.
"I won't hurt you the way she did." She said.
Holy fuck it seems for me the "gender roles" [I'm pretty progressive about that; I've always been more or less gender neutral but in the eyes of my friends...] have always been reversed, at least by societal standards.
I looked at her and smiled. Then I kissed her.
Though we were going to do it that night, we ended up failing again, but it wasn't really for an exciting reason. She forgot to pack. Fuck.
So then she goes to Korea for a month and we like Skype and stuff, and I must say, the idea of being in a relationship again was kind of scary after that last one, but there wasn't really anything that was different - Jamie and I were still pretty friendly with each other, though we were a bit more flirty [which is saying something, since our behavior was already very flirty] than usual. Aside from that though, everything was the same. I liked this kind of relationship.
She gets back, but couldn't hang with me because other plans before I went on a roadtrip with some old bros. When I got back, I began preparing for the Putnam [The insanely hard/awesome mathematics competition], and I was pretty intense about it. But there was some strange dynamic shift in our relationship; she started coming over again like she used to, and we'd hang out, but it wasn't that sexual anymore. The subject just wouldn't come up, and I was too scared to ask; I just hoped that it would happen on its down, but when we hung out, we just didn't have any of those really intimate moments that would lead to it. And she stopped asking me for it for some reason.
When I looked at Jamie when she wasn't looking at me, it seemed like something was troubling her.
The day before she left for school, I asked her about it.
"Is something troubling you?"
And then some really weird arguing which led to the outburst -
"Why don't you want to have sex with me?" She asked.
Believe me, I was shocked.
"What...of course I want to!" I said, flabbergasted.
"Why haven't you asked then? Ever since I came back from Korea I've been waiting for you to take some initiative and ask! Do you not like me?" [This is paraphrased; I don't remember the exact words]
"Wai...wha...of course I like you! I'm your boyfriend!" [I sounded so fucking stupid in my head. I'd watched wayyyy too many movies.] "And I really want to have sex with you!" [Holy fuck]
"You do?"
"Yes, but I've been too scared to ask..."
"Well..."
"Jamie, do you want to make love?" I said. It sounded way more impressive in my head, and then...
I burst out. Laughing. Like a fucking idiot.
"What's wrong, Randy?"
"Nothing, I just can't believe I said that, that sounded so dumb." Which was true, but of course she didn't believe me.
And then some other arguing ensued...and then we just sat there quietly, at the park, not looking at each other.
"Jamie, can we please, before you go? I won't see you for a while."
"Do you really mean that?"
I looked her dead in the eye and said, "yes."
"...I don't know. I need some time to think."
So then we went to the mall, and we bought some clothes, but she was pretty quiet the whole time. Then she left. For college.
We kept up Skyping each other, and fall quarter was pretty easy, so there was time for me to serenade her with covers while she was like drowning under her workload LOL. I really did miss her though.
And then, after what seemed like forever, she came back for winter break.
This is where I must depart; winter break in itself was a fucking adventure worthy of its own blog. I hope this was enough for the time being; it's getting pretty late and I'm too tired to recount winter break ya bish LOL.
Boy do I have something in store for ya.
