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East Gorteau22261 Posts
Explaining competitive instinct to someone that does not have one is as difficult as explaining a color to a blind person. Throughout my competitive career (11 years long next week), I have always to some extent been defined by a desire to improve and to win rather than having fun. This isn't to say that fun doesn't interest me - anyone who knows you will tell you that I love having fun even in the most unsuitable situations - but I definitely have a drive fuelled by the competition (both the victories and the agonizing defeats) more so than just the simple joy of participation.
In a little more than 24 hours, I'll swim my first race at this year's short course national championship. I will do so after a year of character-defining tragedies and personal achievements. I don't talk about it much for fear of burdening others with my problems, but this year has at different points been both the most horrible and chaotic time in my life and the first time I've fekt like I've accomplished something meaningful and palpable. This place has helped me in many ways, by providing an outlet for my writing and my emotions, for offering a place for me to talk to people I wouldn't otherwise have met or known about things we all love, and for giving me a chance to pay that back by burying myself in absurd loads of work. Frustrating, fun, nauseating, exciting.
But on the note of competition, it's hard to explain why I would willingly sign up for the full gauntlet of the most demanding races in swimming after months of periodically debilitating spinal issues and therefore sub-par training. It doesn't make much sense to be excited at the prospect of performing no better than I've deserved, far below what I want, but that is still so. There's a quiet and profound sense of excitement, of expectation, that fuels me. This will be my first national championship swam with no expectations placed upon me and no requirements set rather than my self-imposed law of always doing everything that can be done.
Paradoxically, the void of expectation tells me that I could not have been given a better opportunity. If I crash and burn then I will have lost, undoubtedly, but I will not be hounded by disappointment or haunted by broken dreams. There are no demands, no set criteria I have to meet. This gives me freedom, the perfect stage for surpassing reasonable boundaries. Obstacles - be they the death of a friend or a challenge within sport - are things to be overcome. Steps to climb on the infinite stairway that life can feel like, a constant struggle upwards. I have faced these challenges head-on all year, and what better time to do it again than now?
On a more emotional note, thank you. If you read this or have read anything else I've written this year, if you've said a kind word, id you've offered advice, if you've cheered loudly alongside me, thank you.
Zeyna, this is for you.
 
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All I can say is Good Luck dude! Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask for. I hope you far excede your expecations.
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Best of luck! Challenge brings out the raw animal in us competitive spirit types. Keep finding them.
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TLADT24920 Posts
Good writing. As mentioned, this is what freedom is and this is when you can excel. With no boundaries for you due to the various reasons you listed, going further than your own expectations will bring much joy. Best of luck!
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
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On November 18 2014 11:35 lichter wrote:
dont drown pls
I think that one of the requirements for this sort of competition is to be able to swim. So, he should be okay.
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SoCal, USA3955 Posts
Good luck Zeal! 
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Good luck dude!!! There's no competition but against yourself, constantly improving your own boundaries. I loved reading your blog and will keep my eye out for future entries. Keep up the good work!!
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As a fellow swimmer myself, I wish upon you the best of luck.
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Nice writeup, hope it goes well ! Swarm forest swim!
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Best of luck
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Australia450 Posts
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This blog is fantastic... But it is even better if you read it while listening to 'Eye of the Tiger,' just saying... 
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United States15275 Posts
Kick some ass for us.
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United States1225 Posts
Already messaged you to tell you, but good luck! You can do this man. We're all pulling for ya. :D
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28093 Posts
As an ex-college level athlete as well I can understand your competitive nature
GL with your race. Hopefully you are happy with your performance!
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your Country52797 Posts
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Austria24422 Posts
I'll be disappointed if you don't give a shoutout to TL in your victory speech
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GL & HF Zealously ! Make Life proud ! ;-p
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Make sure you shave your balls before swimming; it makes you more aerodynamic.
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4713 Posts
Good luck Zealously. When I look back at that blog you wrote of your friend dying, remembering the pain I felt in those words, it delights me to see that it hasn't broken you. Instead of letting the tragedies pull you down you've kept going. Good luck friend, make yourself proud!
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As a fellow swimmer, good luck! I know it's hard to explain what motivates you to swim, just get out there and do it :D
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Good luck
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GL! When you're swimming, just think of Life winning Blizzcon and you're sure to win.
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On November 19 2014 00:34 vult wrote:
GL! When you're swimming, just think of Life winning Blizzcon and you're sure to win.
It's harder to swim with an erection, I'm not sure if that's a good idea for him
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Russian Federation1016 Posts
Good luck! May you swim the same way Life performed at BlizzCon!
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Fiddler's Green42661 Posts
![[image loading]](http://www.stephentaylor.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/tidal-wave.jpg)
Roll em over harder than MKC did last night
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"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" - Dory
Words of wisdom from Pixar to follow in swimming and life. Good luck Vic.
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good luck, you can do it!:D
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United States219 Posts
Gogo Zeal!
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Blazinghand
United States25555 Posts
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Good luck and enjoy the experience!
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Godspeed
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Lorning
Belgica34432 Posts
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Estonia4644 Posts
Pls promise to show good races and i will cheer for you
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Bisutopia19299 Posts
I'm color blind so I can really relate to your first paragraph. Anyway, good luck and remember to cheese your opponents by jumping into the water before standard timing.
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Netherlands6190 Posts
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So how did it go Zealously ?
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Since he's from the Grand Line he should've won easily.
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Canada16217 Posts
gl man!
edit: kinda late woops D:
hope you did well
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I used to swim too!
So I feel a special swell of TL pride in wishing you luck! Go get 'em Zealously!
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EPT
