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The Calm Before the Storm

Blogs > Zealously
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Zealously
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
East Gorteau22261 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-11-18 01:39:13
November 18 2014 01:37 GMT
#1
Explaining competitive instinct to someone that does not have one is as difficult as explaining a color to a blind person. Throughout my competitive career (11 years long next week), I have always to some extent been defined by a desire to improve and to win rather than having fun. This isn't to say that fun doesn't interest me - anyone who knows you will tell you that I love having fun even in the most unsuitable situations - but I definitely have a drive fuelled by the competition (both the victories and the agonizing defeats) more so than just the simple joy of participation.

In a little more than 24 hours, I'll swim my first race at this year's short course national championship. I will do so after a year of character-defining tragedies and personal achievements. I don't talk about it much for fear of burdening others with my problems, but this year has at different points been both the most horrible and chaotic time in my life and the first time I've fekt like I've accomplished something meaningful and palpable. This place has helped me in many ways, by providing an outlet for my writing and my emotions, for offering a place for me to talk to people I wouldn't otherwise have met or known about things we all love, and for giving me a chance to pay that back by burying myself in absurd loads of work. Frustrating, fun, nauseating, exciting.

But on the note of competition, it's hard to explain why I would willingly sign up for the full gauntlet of the most demanding races in swimming after months of periodically debilitating spinal issues and therefore sub-par training. It doesn't make much sense to be excited at the prospect of performing no better than I've deserved, far below what I want, but that is still so. There's a quiet and profound sense of excitement, of expectation, that fuels me. This will be my first national championship swam with no expectations placed upon me and no requirements set rather than my self-imposed law of always doing everything that can be done.

Paradoxically, the void of expectation tells me that I could not have been given a better opportunity. If I crash and burn then I will have lost, undoubtedly, but I will not be hounded by disappointment or haunted by broken dreams. There are no demands, no set criteria I have to meet. This gives me freedom, the perfect stage for surpassing reasonable boundaries. Obstacles - be they the death of a friend or a challenge within sport - are things to be overcome. Steps to climb on the infinite stairway that life can feel like, a constant struggle upwards. I have faced these challenges head-on all year, and what better time to do it again than now?




On a more emotional note, thank you. If you read this or have read anything else I've written this year, if you've said a kind word, id you've offered advice, if you've cheered loudly alongside me, thank you.

Zeyna, this is for you.

****
AdministratorBreak the chains
SetGuitarsToKill
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
Canada28396 Posts
November 18 2014 01:55 GMT
#2
All I can say is Good Luck dude! Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask for. I hope you far excede your expecations.
Community News"As long as you have a warp prism you can't be bad at harassment" - Maru | @SetGuitars2Kill
Danglars
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States12133 Posts
November 18 2014 02:03 GMT
#3
Best of luck! Challenge brings out the raw animal in us competitive spirit types. Keep finding them.
Great armies come from happy zealots, and happy zealots come from California!
TL+ Member
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
November 18 2014 02:28 GMT
#4
Good writing. As mentioned, this is what freedom is and this is when you can excel. With no boundaries for you due to the various reasons you listed, going further than your own expectations will bring much joy. Best of luck!
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
November 18 2014 02:35 GMT
#5
dont drown pls
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Just_a_Moth
Profile Joined March 2012
Canada1966 Posts
November 18 2014 02:55 GMT
#6
On November 18 2014 11:35 lichter wrote:
dont drown pls

I think that one of the requirements for this sort of competition is to be able to swim. So, he should be okay.
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
November 18 2014 02:56 GMT
#7
Best of luck!
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
shiroiusagi
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
SoCal, USA3955 Posts
November 18 2014 02:59 GMT
#8
Good luck Zeal!
Graphics@shiroiusagi_ | shiroiusagi.net
Kronen
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States732 Posts
November 18 2014 03:00 GMT
#9
Good luck dude!!! There's no competition but against yourself, constantly improving your own boundaries. I loved reading your blog and will keep my eye out for future entries. Keep up the good work!!
JamesT
Profile Blog Joined October 2014
United States681 Posts
November 18 2014 03:43 GMT
#10
As a fellow swimmer myself, I wish upon you the best of luck.
How are you doing today?
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10705 Posts
November 18 2014 03:49 GMT
#11
Nice writeup, hope it goes well ! Swarm forest swim!
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
Liquid`Nazgul
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
22427 Posts
November 18 2014 04:06 GMT
#12
Best of luck
Administrator
WinterWoes
Profile Joined July 2012
Australia450 Posts
November 18 2014 04:48 GMT
#13
Good luck!
Moderator
Krystal
Profile Joined April 2012
New Zealand67 Posts
November 18 2014 05:59 GMT
#14
This blog is fantastic... But it is even better if you read it while listening to 'Eye of the Tiger,' just saying...
"There are two things in life: Things I understand and Things Wizards must have done."
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
November 18 2014 06:02 GMT
#15
Kick some ass for us.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
OtherWorld
Profile Blog Joined October 2013
France17333 Posts
November 18 2014 06:39 GMT
#16
Good luck (:
Used Sigs - New Sigs - Cheap Sigs - Buy the Best Cheap Sig near You at www.cheapsigforsale.com
peanuts
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States1225 Posts
November 18 2014 06:54 GMT
#17
Already messaged you to tell you, but good luck! You can do this man. We're all pulling for ya. :D
Writer"My greatest skill is my enjoyment of the game" - Grubby | @TL_Peanuts
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28100 Posts
November 18 2014 07:05 GMT
#18
As an ex-college level athlete as well I can understand your competitive nature

GL with your race. Hopefully you are happy with your performance!

Administrator
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52797 Posts
November 18 2014 07:35 GMT
#19
Good luck Zealously!
Moderatorshe/her
TL+ Member
Olli
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Austria24422 Posts
November 18 2014 07:53 GMT
#20
I'll be disappointed if you don't give a shoutout to TL in your victory speech
Administrator"Declaring anything a disaster because aLive popped up out of nowhere is just downright silly."
LoneYoShi
Profile Blog Joined June 2014
France1348 Posts
November 18 2014 07:59 GMT
#21
GL & HF Zealously ! Make Life proud ! ;-p
Serejai
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
6007 Posts
November 18 2014 13:07 GMT
#22
Make sure you shave your balls before swimming; it makes you more aerodynamic.
I HAVE 5 TOAST POINTS
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
November 18 2014 13:11 GMT
#23
Good luck Zealously. When I look back at that blog you wrote of your friend dying, remembering the pain I felt in those words, it delights me to see that it hasn't broken you. Instead of letting the tragedies pull you down you've kept going. Good luck friend, make yourself proud!
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
smashlloyd20
Profile Joined October 2012
251 Posts
November 18 2014 13:22 GMT
#24
As a fellow swimmer, good luck! I know it's hard to explain what motivates you to swim, just get out there and do it :D
AWalker9
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
United Kingdom7229 Posts
November 18 2014 14:50 GMT
#25
Good luck
soOjwa has returned to smite all that stand in his way
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
November 18 2014 15:34 GMT
#26
GL! When you're swimming, just think of Life winning Blizzcon and you're sure to win.
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
SetGuitarsToKill
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
Canada28396 Posts
November 18 2014 15:39 GMT
#27
On November 19 2014 00:34 vult wrote:
GL! When you're swimming, just think of Life winning Blizzcon and you're sure to win.


It's harder to swim with an erection, I'm not sure if that's a good idea for him
Community News"As long as you have a warp prism you can't be bad at harassment" - Maru | @SetGuitars2Kill
IAmWithStupid
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Russian Federation1016 Posts
November 18 2014 17:10 GMT
#28
Good luck! May you swim the same way Life performed at BlizzCon!
Insert wise words here
stuchiu
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Fiddler's Green42661 Posts
November 18 2014 17:49 GMT
#29
[image loading]

Roll em over harder than MKC did last night
Moderator
PhoenixVoid
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada32747 Posts
November 18 2014 18:42 GMT
#30
"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" - Dory

Words of wisdom from Pixar to follow in swimming and life. Good luck Vic.
I'm afraid of demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutants
sabas123
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Netherlands3122 Posts
November 18 2014 20:05 GMT
#31
good luck, you can do it!:D
The harder it becomes, the more you should focus on the basics.
Meru
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
United States219 Posts
November 18 2014 21:29 GMT
#32
Gogo Zeal!
Graphics"Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek happiness."
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25559 Posts
November 18 2014 23:20 GMT
#33
good luck!
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
RHWY
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Ireland43 Posts
November 18 2014 23:32 GMT
#34
Good luck and enjoy the experience!
@es_performance @LiquidTLO @LiquidRet
spritzz
Profile Joined November 2009
Canada331 Posts
November 19 2014 01:44 GMT
#35
Good luck! Fighting!
zugzug
tili
Profile Joined July 2012
United States1332 Posts
November 19 2014 03:54 GMT
#36
Godspeed
Lorning *
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Belgica34432 Posts
November 19 2014 08:22 GMT
#37
Good luck
Community News
TL+ Member
fusefuse
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Estonia4644 Posts
November 19 2014 12:06 GMT
#38
Pls promise to show good races and i will cheer for you
Liquipedia@jkursk
Wintex
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Norway16838 Posts
November 19 2014 13:31 GMT
#39
Z fighting!
The Bomber boy
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19332 Posts
November 19 2014 14:36 GMT
#40
I'm color blind so I can really relate to your first paragraph. Anyway, good luck and remember to cheese your opponents by jumping into the water before standard timing.
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6192 Posts
November 19 2014 15:48 GMT
#41
Good luck Zealously!
<3
LoneYoShi
Profile Blog Joined June 2014
France1348 Posts
November 19 2014 17:05 GMT
#42
So how did it go Zealously ?
HolydaKing
Profile Joined February 2010
21254 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-11-19 17:21:22
November 19 2014 17:20 GMT
#43
Since he's from the Grand Line he should've won easily.
NovemberstOrm
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Canada16217 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-11-21 02:51:42
November 21 2014 02:50 GMT
#44
gl man!

edit: kinda late woops D:

hope you did well
Moderatorlickypiddy
Kommatiazo
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States579 Posts
November 21 2014 05:10 GMT
#45
I used to swim too!

So I feel a special swell of TL pride in wishing you luck! Go get 'em Zealously!
"You must enemy don't know, and very good micro" - Bosstoss #Wet4Ret
tili
Profile Joined July 2012
United States1332 Posts
November 21 2014 21:17 GMT
#46
How was it?!
SetGuitarsToKill
Profile Blog Joined December 2013
Canada28396 Posts
November 22 2014 22:50 GMT
#47
So... how'd it go?
Community News"As long as you have a warp prism you can't be bad at harassment" - Maru | @SetGuitars2Kill
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