EPTIf you are unfamiliar with my story, please reference the following blogs I wrote in the past:
First
Second
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I get quite a bit out of telling my story and offering advice. I try to help people on fitness forums, math forums, and in my every day job. My hope is to give realistic hope, to offer advice that has worked for me, and to give perspective.
If you are depressed, lonely, or need someone, there is absolutely no shame in seeking help.
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My life has been interesting since those last blogs. My gym life has evolved. My personal life has evolved and my career has evolved as well.
The job I referenced in the previous blog, the one with better security, turned out to be a huge bust. I didn't believe in what they were doing. That is a really big part of happiness. A mentor I once had said to me, if you don't believe in what you are doing, really believe in it, then what is the point of going to work?
These words now echoed in my head each day. What I was doing felt morally wrong, this wasn't a business I wanted to be a part of. I had thought the job looked so good when I originally accepted the offer, but I was just blinded by the pay.
So I quit, and put time and effort into finding something I did truly believe in. I eventually found something that looked really good to me, in education. I took a massive pay cut. But I believe in this. I think I can really help better other people's lives in my current job. No scare tactic marketing, no praying on the elderly, just doing everything in my power to help student success.
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At the gym, I have really gotten into Powerlifting. I've been training now for 2 years in the big three. I had my first competition 7 months ago, and I have another one coming up in a few weeks.
In my first year of training I used SL5x5, and then Madcow. That got me to a 1000lb total in competition at 175lbs. This was a big milestone for me at my age. 8 cycles of a 5/3/1 Full body 3 day variation with more squats, joker sets, and some down sets. And I am looking to break a 1100 at 181 in this meet coming up. At my age, I am really proud of what I can do with a barbell.
My advice about never breaking the chain has followed me this whole time. I have never missed a workout. Ever. When I travel for work, I spend time calling gyms, and planning so I don't miss a workout. In addition, I think 700+ day streak of logging what I eat in MyFitnessPal deserves a mention.
I've done quite a range of things in terms of fitness, prior to this... p90x, Insanity, running, rowing, my own shit weight routine that I created and thought was a gift from God, Bro-splits, bodyweight routines, etc.
I don't regret any of those things. It is the path which brought me to where I am today.
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I did end up marrying that girl. I've let go of a lot of the anger and contempt that I had for my ex. Reflecting upon my first marriage, I wasn't exactly perfect.
Being with someone takes work and sacrifice. Someone once told me, that if you don't feel like you are doing more than 50% of the work in the household you are not doing enough.
Everything I have said in the past about working, working really hard applies more so to relationships than anything else. If you live with someone, and you care about that person, evaluate what you are contributing. Think about all the things that need to be done for a working household, Laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, yard work, child care, pets, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, taking the trash to the dump, house maintenance, financial management, etc.
Yeah, it sucks, you lose time you could spend pursuing a hobby, or playing, or something fun, but if you want a happy wife, a happy home, a good relationship you have to work for it. It is just like a job, if you want big rewards, a bigger paycheck , a bigger office, more responsibility you have to put in the effort and work required. If you want a better relationship, you have to work, really work hard at it.
We have been trying now to have kids, perhaps more long term ill effects of my prior drug use are now coming back to bite me. If only I was so lucky to escape my past with just memory loss. It appears that may not be the case. There are other options for us, like adoption, that we have talked extensively about. We shall see.
Such is life. I am excited to see where I will be in another two years. It is funny how much we change over time. What is dramatically important to us at one point in time might seem cringe worthy in a matter of months.
Good luck everyone.
