EPTGoogle Translate that shit
Apparently a homeless person now turned mega billionare had created this restaurant only a couple of years ago. Le beurre d'arachide et la maison de la gelée, or translated into American, means the home of the PB and J. “Finding this place is a real bitch” , I told my gf as we walked down alleyways in the middle of the city, following the line of people, who we could only assume were heading to the same destination. As we rounded the corner, Le beurre d'arachide et la maison de la gelée, came into sight.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/PxuBLwW.jpg)
the smell of shit mixed with the fresh scent of wonder bread that had never been refrigerated. The small shop offered “excellent facilities” and a wide assortment of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The shop’s motto was “Faster Than Shitting On A Squatty Potty...”
Whats a squatty potty, I asked the man behind the counter?
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/x1obm0B.jpg)
“you, you, you, don’t, don’t, Know what fuckin Squatty potty is? Its only the answer to life’s greatest question. How do I spend less time on the potty” He yelled at me with a gleam in his eye that could only mean he was on cocaine.
He ran outside and dragged me through a door, and then another door, and then another door. As he opened the door, I saw a monster.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/379KPPS.jpg)
Come to try my squatty potty have you?!? She asked as she licked a smidge of jelly off her lips. My heart started beating and utilizing all my strength as a man, I grabbed my GF’s hand and ran out of there as fast as I could. I could hear his maniac laughter “YOU’LL BE BACK, HAHAHAHAHHA”
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Right now, I’m sitting on my desk, warning the world of the danger that is Le beurre d'arachide et la maison de la gelée. Yes I’m writing a yelp review. 1/5 stars. While the PB&J was moist and delishus, this place is an abomination for shitters who sit.”
Real Reviews of Squatty potties
+ Show Spoiler +
Do you take your phone, iPad or Kindle with you to help fill the time while making a deposit in the porcelain bank? The Squatty Potty, when used correctly, basically makes it impossible to get anything done. When your posture for dropping a payload is similar to your dog's, it's bombs away in a whole lot less time than when you sit like the Thinker. Don't use the Squatty Potty if you want to do some business before you finish your business. You'll be done before your app finishes loading.
This makes going number 2... number 1!
I'm writing this a month after the previous review. The grandchild with "past" constipation problems told me that the stool works too well. As he says; "The stool works too well, grandma. My poops are so big they clog the toilet." I can only laugh at a child's wonderful response.
I feel 30 lbs lighter everyday... no more stubborn stools!
