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United States15536 Posts
If there is a single piece of media that defined my youth, it’s Harry Potter. While the larger (and far more shameful) number of Dragonlance novels scattered around my parent’s house might appear to be competition, no other childhood obsession of mine truly reached the same heights as Rowling’s magnum opus. In many ways, I grew up with Harry Potter. When I was still young enough for 11 to be a faraway dream, the possibility of a friendly giant with a Hogwarts letter never strayed far from my thoughts. When Cedric perished and Voldemort returned, I was just old enough to understand the magnitude of the plot twist and just young enough to gasp aloud. The final book in the series arrived about a month after my high school graduation, and it was far more of a transition to “adulthood” than a diploma could ever be.* I’ve read some of the books in the series more than a dozen times and none fewer than five. To say I’m a fan is a bit of an understatement.
* Not that I’m an adult or anything.
I’ve done a lot of growing up since Harry’s adventure concluded. I’ve read better (if not more entertaining) books, consumed more compelling media, and invested myself in far more interests than wands and owls. My tastes are a bit more discerning and my ability to critically assess the creative endeavors I consume has grown exponentially. So since J.K. Rowling decided to reveal a bit more of Harry’s adult life to the eternally-growing throng of Potter devotees, it was time for me to dive back into Harry Potter to see what I missed as a kid who didn’t want anything more than to be a secret wizard. Turns out there’s a ton of content in the stories (mostly comedic) that only hindsight, age, and a sick sense of humor could uncover.
This is a spoiler-filled, barely-edited torrent of consciousness. If you haven’t read Harry Potter yet, you’ve been warned.
Harry’s pre-wizarding life with the Dursleys suggests that England is in dire need of child care reform. I remember that my younger self believed that “the cupboard beneath the stairs” could be workable, if not optimal, but now I’m aghast at Harry’s ability to survive his literal prison. If I didn’t know that Dumbledore was fairly evil, I’d wonder how he slept at night after dropping Harry with the worst Muggles ever. I’m not always sure about which story elements were planned by Rowling in advance (which will become abundantly clear as I write these), but the enchantment that hides Harry from Voldemort while living with the Dursleys seems rather apologetic. Almost as if it's her way of admitting that no sane person would give Harry to the Dursleys unless it were better than the only alternative, which is murdering a child. On the other hand, I’m ceaselessly amused by the fact that the Dursleys continue to send Christmas presents to Harry. They’re not content with forgetting him entirely and choose instead to pay for postage on a perpetual “fuck you."
It’s also far more apparent as an adult how traumatized Harry should be. Dead parents, abusive relatives, and the constant threat of murder is just the beginning. Imagine how much fun it must be to share emotions, memories, and abilities with your literal mortal enemy. If that’s not a perfect recipe for years of magical therapy, I don’t know what is. Really, Harry should be given points for getting out of bed in the morning, much less saving the wizarding world no less than seven times.
In spite of Harry’s clear trauma, I identified with him a lot as a young nerd. Out of place, magically ignorant, aspiring to an incredible/impossible destiny… J.K. Rowling certainly knew how to write for her target audience. There’s just one problem: Harry was a wizard jock. He spends most of his time playing Quidditch, his athleticism makes him incredibly popular, and he manipulates his actual nerdy friends into finishing his homework so he can soldier on as the sports hero. He’s only a touch of realism away from giving Neville swirlies and stuffing the Creevey brothers into vanishing cabinets. The real nerd (also the real star of the series) is Hermione, who is the only person properly grateful for the gift of going to fucking wizard school. Who the hell would cut class or complain about homework if that “work” meant learning how to do magic? An asshole, that’s who. Harry. Is. An asshole. A jock asshole.
Of course, Harry looks amazing in comparison to Malfoy, even after Harry’s mediocrity is established. The fact that Malfoy is super racist and it never fully registered with me stands as a testament to my childhood naiveté. Harry’s feud with him notwithstanding, how is it that no one beat the shit out of Malfoy as soon as he walked in the door? All he’d have to do is say “Mudblood” to the wrong person once and he’d get the shit beat out of him or worse. I can’t even imagine what the magical wedgie for Hogwarts' biggest first-year jerk would be like. Furthermore, does Hogwarts have no penalties for intolerant language? No? I suppose the school’s mishandling of this issue isn’t surprising considering it harbors the Slytherins, all of whom (at least in Harry’s year) are douchey, stupid, or some mix of the two. It’s a perpetual mystery to me why the obviously evil students are allowed to attend Hogwarts in the first place, much less how they manage to advance from year to year, much less how they won the House Cup for seven years running before Harry showed up. Even if the Gryffindors managed to fuck it up by being the idiots they tend to be, Ravenclaw should be winning the majority of points with correct answers in class alone.
Here’s a game for returning Potter fans: whenever Harry talks to or about Ginny, replace her name with “his future wife.” The same thing can be done for Ginny in regards to Harry and when Ron or Hermione talk to or about each other. Relax! The feelings of nausea (especially when they’re still 11/12) are perfectly normal! The hardcore version of this is to end every sentence featuring a future casualty with “But it really didn’t matter because they’ll be dead in # books.”
The first two books also reveal the first bits of incontrovertible evidence that all wizards are absolute morons. Hermione and sometimes Dumbledore are the only exceptions to this rule because every other magician is irredeemably stupid. Take the Sorcerer’s Stone for example. IT WAS STOLEN BY A BUNCH OF ELEVEN YEAR OLDS. How could they possibly think an actual adult wizard would be stopped by their traps if the pre-teen students don’t have a problem with them? How many millions of other ways could a goddamn wizard keep something safe? Option one: YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT INVISIBLE. Useless. Also, who hires Gilderoy Lockhart? The man obviously has no credentials whatsoever and certainly didn’t pass any kind of practical exam. Then again, I suppose it doesn’t matter because it’s not like any of these wand-toting maniacs have teaching degrees. I suppose headmasters just vaguely hope that they have a competent staff or there goes the future of wizardkind. The standout example from the first two books is the “mystery” of the basilisk that apparently only Hermione could decipher. The number of clues was staggering, so how did Dumbledore, much less the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, manage to forget the only monster in the magical world that can cause Petrification, evoke fear in spiders, provide a reason for strangled roosters, and traipse around as a giant Slytherin mascot? WHAT ARE YOU WIZARDS DOING WITH YOUR MAGIC?
Finally, why did nobody tell me that Diagon Alley was diagonally? Or that Knockturn Alley was nocturnally?
Because I’m supposed to be smart enough to figure it out myself?
…
Shut up.
*grumbles*
*opens Prisoner of Azkaban*
You can read this silly rant and quite a few others at the N3rd Dimension.
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United Kingdom10443 Posts
You are having the problem of trying to compare all the books in the same perspective.
Philosophers Stone and Chamber of secrets are very much aimed at younger readers.
The later books are aimed at Teenagers and Adults.
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United Kingdom10443 Posts
Also my biggest problem is I have no idea how many students there are at hogwarts.
So for my calculations using Harry's year.
We have 8 in Gryfindor which makes roughly 30 students / year.
Which makes 210 students in total...bit small for a giant fucking castle.
That totally ruins the magic of Quidditch games for me which I imagine to have a giant crowd. But 200 students is like nothing.
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United States15536 Posts
On July 17 2014 02:01 KelsierSC wrote:
You are having the problem of trying to compare all the books in the same perspective.
Philosophers Stone and Chamber of secrets are very much aimed at younger readers.
The later books are aimed at Teenagers and Adults.
I know. But it's fun to do it this way. 
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It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4.
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As another human who has spent a significant amount of my life reading these books I can really appreciate your opinions. Many of these things have been something to ponder or laugh about over and over with friends. Especially the stuff about how stupid everyone is, like WTF Dumbledore. Excellent read.
I was about to turn 11 when the first book got released in the states... Talk about day dreams. I spent SO MUCH of that summer wishing that I wouldn't be heading back to boring elementary school, but to exciting, British, magical Hogwarts. Sometimes I'd fantasize about attending the awesome American version that must exist. Like Hogwarts, but with more FREEDOM and barbeques, and less Voldemort. Who picks their mascot to be a hog? Much less a hog with warts? America would have Bald Eagle Wings, or something else as fantastically patriotic and glorious.
5/5 Going to start re-reading them again tonight I think :D
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United States15536 Posts
On July 17 2014 03:11 SixStrings wrote:
It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4.
WOW I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.
I can't wait for that now. 
On July 17 2014 03:27 Kommatiazo wrote:
As another human who has spent a significant amount of my life reading these books I can really appreciate your opinions. Many of these things have been something to ponder or laugh about over and over with friends. Especially the stuff about how stupid everyone is, like WTF Dumbledore. Excellent read.
I was about to turn 11 when the first book got released in the states... Talk about day dreams. I spent SO MUCH of that summer wishing that I wouldn't be heading back to boring elementary school, but to exciting, British, magical Hogwarts. Sometimes I'd fantasize about attending the awesome American version that must exist. Like Hogwarts, but with more FREEDOM and barbeques, and less Voldemort. Who picks their mascot to be a hog? Much less a hog with warts? America would have Bald Eagle Wings, or something else as fantastically patriotic and glorious.
5/5 Going to start re-reading them again tonight I think :D
Glad to hear it.
Two topics that didn't make this (because it was already super long): 1) JK Rowling HATES fat people (most of them are Dursleys or otherwise evil); 2) Gilderoy Lockhart's fate was HORRIFYING and yet everyone was like "lol"
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Finally, why did nobody tell me that Diagon Alley was diagonally? Or that Knockturn Alley was nocturnally?
:O
Every time I crack open HP, I'm just astounded at how good Rowling is at storytelling. It blows my mind how she manages it. There are lots of things I don't like about the series, but boy, can she tell a yarn, and tell it well.
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I enjoyed the read! I also grew up with Harry Potter, having been near the same age as him in all the books. Recently my GF got the books on audio and I find it is a great way to pass any driving around or traffic.
About living with the Dursleys, I guess I never thought about why he had to live there, but I found the explanation about protection in his family's blood to be a good reason why he had to stay there and suffer the Dursleys.
I also found it really funny why the students would complain so much about learning how to do fucking magic and would rather skip class and complain about shit, but then I guess Rowling wanted to mirror school life for her audience and even though we aren't learning magic, it always amazed me in college how many people didn't go to class or do homework when you are paying a lot for your education, and what you get out of it can make a big impact on being able to live comfortable and follow your dreams for the rest of your life.
Im glad you touched on how dumb a lot of the adults or other characters tended to be. For example, where I currently am in the Order of the Phoenix, Harry and Ron are just back at Hogwarts and are complaining about the 12 inches of parchment they have to write for Snape about the use of some stone or another in potions, and all they are doing is bitching about how they dont know what its uses are and that Hermione won't let them copy her homework. Seriously assholes?!?! of course you don't know what it is because either 1) you don't pay attention or seem to remember much at all from class and 2) you haven't even tried to look it up or do any research whatsoever. And I feel so bad for you that Hermione won't let you copy all her homework so you can ride her coattails and barely do any work for your 7 years at school...
It is pretty entertaining going back over some of the plot points and characters as an adult, picking out so much that was missed reading through a child's eyes
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On July 17 2014 04:58 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +Finally, why did nobody tell me that Diagon Alley was diagonally? Or that Knockturn Alley was nocturnally? :O Every time I crack open HP, I'm just astounded at how good Rowling is at storytelling. It blows my mind how she manages it. There are lots of things I don't like about the series, but boy, can she tell a yarn, and tell it well.
Also, +1 to both this post and the one it is quoting, I cant believe I never noticed :O
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On July 17 2014 03:11 SixStrings wrote:
It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4.
Carlsen said "we want to stop Harry Potter, JK can do 3 more books with us" right before HP5 came out. JK was not happy about it. Maybe due to this, JK was a bit confused to tell the rest of the story in 3 books.
I dislike HP7 because 90% of the story happened outside of Hogwarts. HP6 is my favourite book but worst movie -.-
Edit: I think P should do a poll about favourite book, movie and person.
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The land of freedom23126 Posts
On July 17 2014 05:24 Dingodile wrote:Show nested quote +On July 17 2014 03:11 SixStrings wrote:
It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4. Carlsen said "we want to stop Harry Potter, JK can do 3 more books with us" right before HP5 came out. JK was not happy about it. Maybe due to this, JK was a bit confused to tell the rest of the story in 3 books. I dislike HP7 because 90% of the story happened outside of Hogwarts. HP6 is my favourite book but worst movie -.- Edit: I think P should do a poll about favourite book, movie and person.
Dunno, HBP was probably worst from seven, imo. Probably because of translation, but i dunno, it's such mess, especially after OoP.
Somewhere on GoF level. I remember reading Goblet of Fire first time, when there were almost no computers in Moscow (2003 iirc) and therefore, no internet so mom brought me roughly translated book, printed on tons of A4. I was laughing out loud reading because of translations, still one of the worst memories from childhood :D
My favourite though...probably, seventh, really. The feels.
Anyway, i'm glad that someone is passionate about HP. When everything ended at 13.07.2011 i was crying like a kid in cinema, while some retarded fat girl was laughing. I was ready to punch her.
Since then, i'm going hard in role-play schools/games about Potteriana, no regrets. Have tons of homeworks for Hogwarts's subjects, guess, could use that time to study harder in university but oh well.
Also i told to myself that i will love only gingerhead girl after falling in love with Ginny's character at some point. Happy that it's real. (;
Favourite person...hard to really say, can i say Lupin probably? I wish, that Rowling could include more stories from James, Sirius, Lupin, Snape and Pettigrew Hogwarts's life into books. And from new generation, i always enjoyed Ron and Weasley twins, damn, it's hard. Love everyone but Malfoy, Parkinson, Ambridge and some more. ;/
Pottermore blows though.
Also, i enjoyed the games. Quidditch is probably the best thing i've ever played in my childhood and i still can't finish HP7p2 because i suck and can't find last Deathly Hallows symbol in burning Hogwarts. Back to PlayStation 1, i recall Chamber of Secrets being fucking scary for childs, i barely finished.
On July 17 2014 06:29 vult wrote:
I feel the same way about the series. I remember my 3rd grade teacher reading Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone aloud to us over a period of about 2 months and just falling in love with it. The first few books, though obviously aimed towards children and adolescents, are a great gateway into the novel world for kids to use, and I know for sure that these books will be a core part of how I teach my children someday about literature and imagination.
My favorite books are tied between Goblet of Fire and Half-Blood Prince. For some reason, even though most people I have talked to about the series say it is terrible, I loved GoF for the Triwizard Tournament alone, and Cedric Diggery vs. HP vs. the World was such a good concept when I first read it as a young lad. And, of course, HBP is fucking EPIC and so well written that I still read chapters from it from time to time as if it is a standalone novel.
Favorite movie is probably Prisoner of Azkaban, because Sirius Black. Worst movie is probably Chamber for me for no particular reason (all the movies are exceptional).
Favorite characters are Ron and Luna. Ron for being the weird, shy partner to the protagonist who finally come into his own, and Luna for being strange as hell and a delightful character, both in the books and on screen. They both remind me of myself in a way, sort of disjointed and awkward and unconventional.
Ron always reminded me of Sam but with 5 brothers and sister :D
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I feel the same way about the series. I remember my 3rd grade teacher reading Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone aloud to us over a period of about 2 months and just falling in love with it. The first few books, though obviously aimed towards children and adolescents, are a great gateway into the novel world for kids to use, and I know for sure that these books will be a core part of how I teach my children someday about literature and imagination.
My favorite books are tied between Goblet of Fire and Half-Blood Prince. For some reason, even though most people I have talked to about the series say it is terrible, I loved GoF for the Triwizard Tournament alone, and Cedric Diggery vs. HP vs. the World was such a good concept when I first read it as a young lad. And, of course, HBP is fucking EPIC and so well written that I still read chapters from it from time to time as if it is a standalone novel.
Favorite movie is probably Prisoner of Azkaban, because Sirius Black. Worst movie is probably Chamber for me for no particular reason (all the movies are exceptional).
Favorite characters are Ron and Luna. Ron for being the weird, shy partner to the protagonist who finally come into his own, and Luna for being strange as hell and a delightful character, both in the books and on screen. They both remind me of myself in a way, sort of disjointed and awkward and unconventional.
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I thought the 3rd book was the worst of the first 4 because nothing actually led up to the climax. The first two are masterpieces of narrative arc, but the first 150 pages of PoA is just exposition before the main event just happens.
The 4th book (GoF) is my favorite. It seems to be like the first 2 except much more intricate.
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My favorite is Snape. I disliked him at first book but then I like him better and better and was very sad at 7th book. I love his many "4eyes - talk" with Harry Potter. I like Snapes charisma/aura, very disliked if you see him first time and does not look a helpful/powerful guy like Gilderoy Lockhart but eminently respectable and essential for/to everyone who are closer to him.
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On July 17 2014 03:11 SixStrings wrote:
It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4.
JKR only came up with the concept of the three hallows after the fourth book. Unfortunately, she didn't have the series properly mapped out from the start.
Also, the point of the labyrinth in the first novel isn't to keep people out. It's a bait for Quirrell to draw out Voldemort.
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On July 17 2014 02:05 KelsierSC wrote:
Also my biggest problem is I have no idea how many students there are at hogwarts.
So for my calculations using Harry's year.
We have 8 in Gryfindor which makes roughly 30 students / year.
Which makes 210 students in total...bit small for a giant fucking castle.
That totally ruins the magic of Quidditch games for me which I imagine to have a giant crowd. But 200 students is like nothing.
JKR can't count, she thinks there are between 600 and 1000 students at Hogwarts, despite creating only 40 students in Harry's year, and only showing us about 20 of them. She also thinks there are only 3000 wizards in GB, despite wizards living until ~150 years and there being 600 students in Hogwarts. And generally, the entire time line she created is a mess and can't be made consistent no matter how you look at it.
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United States15536 Posts
On July 17 2014 22:28 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On July 17 2014 03:11 SixStrings wrote:
It's rather apparent that JK Rowling didn't have a clue where the story was going.
It's pretty apparent that books 1-4 were just stories almost isolated from each other, whereas she sat down and finished the story before she wrote 5-7. Which is why I found 5-7 much more enjoyable than the first four books, even when I was younger.
For instance, after having read Deathly Hallows, and especially the deathly hallows part of Deathly Hallows, it makes no sense that Moody was able to see Harry hidden under his invisibility cloak in book 4. JKR only came up with the concept of the three hallows after the fourth book. Unfortunately, she didn't have the series properly mapped out from the start. Also, the point of the labyrinth in the first novel isn't to keep people out. It's a bait for Quirrell to draw out Voldemort.
Wow I'd never thought of it this way either. Damn.
"We'll catch Voldemort. IF SOME OF THE 11 YEAR OLDS ARE COLLATERAL DAMAGE, SO BE IT."
Yeah... that's something Dumbledore would totally say.
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On July 17 2014 04:58 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +Finally, why did nobody tell me that Diagon Alley was diagonally? Or that Knockturn Alley was nocturnally? :O Every time I crack open HP, I'm just astounded at how good Rowling is at storytelling. It blows my mind how she manages it. There are lots of things I don't like about the series, but boy, can she tell a yarn, and tell it well.
This is a great explanation of how I feel about Harry Potter. Granted I never got truly caught up in the books as a kid.
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So it's satire of people who look too seriously as adults for flaws in the text and disregard children's importance and metaphor? I haven't and will likely not re-read it. I did watch the movie for HP2 and noticed how the appeal of Harry is a sort of appeal to the romance of Victorian ideals and to naive egotism, like + Show Spoiler +"wow!!! h-h-harry POTTER! your natural gifts! your fame!
I was part of that group who kind of grew up with it too. Good timez
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EPT
