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Ever since my academic pursuits have went full-out, with me investing all of my precious time into crafting myself into the best student I could possibly ever be, I have always had the goal of getting into a prestigious university. Stanford. Harvard. MIT. You name it.
I was doing really well in school up until 9th grade, where, I fucked up. I got an around about 2.9 or 3.0 gpa on a 4.0 scale in the IB programme. From there on I was in a rage of fury, and that tough passion inspired me to do better, landing me a 98% average sophomore year and 93% during the junior year, all while taking fairly tough courses. I never intended this blog to be me basically bragging, but I understand that my dreams of getting into the amazing schools like Stanford, MIT, Harvard, UCLA, are all basically gone. UCLA, I feel like I might have a SLIGHT chance, because of it's holistic approach to candidates and the fact that I sugercoated the grade 9 fuck up with leader of a club, lots of volunteering, stuff like that. Other than that, I feel like what I've lived for, what I always dreamed for, is all gone. I feel like a walking bag of wasted potential, a guy who slacked off and didn't give a shit about school in freshman year. I got lazy, was getting used to highschool, tried to fit in with the 'cool kids', and wounded up screwing over my perfect plans for the future.
I'm going to be going face-to-face with other candidates, and these people are probably those that DID give a shit about grade 9, and didn't mess up like I did. Now I feel like I won't get in anywhere excellent. I feel like yes, I may get in somewhere 'good', or 'great', but the feeling of excellence and superiority will most likely be gone forever since I won't be able to attend any of the schools I listed above.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like a huge burden is set on my fucking shoulders, the fact that I fucked up one year, and that my future will suffer because of it. Everyone won't be proud, because I'm expected to achieve 'excellence'.
I feel like utter shit writing this man... SERIOUSLY, just that one year? Do the adcoms SERIOUSLY see your grade 9 grades, and check them out, and evaluate your character based on those grades??? Come on! They mean jack shit! I hope this isn't true for schools even like UCLA, which is no Harvard or Stanford, but is the closest to excellent or awesome I'll ever get to, if I get in... :/
Has anyone ever felt like this? Any words of advice, knowledge, or insight? I'd appreciate it.
  
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I have always had the goal of getting into a prestigious university. Stanford. Harvard. MIT.
College is what you make of it. I know countless people who went to any Top 100 college and gained a ton of insight and knowledge and are better prepared than a few of my ivy league friends who just jerked off for four years (of course, I have some ivy league friends who took the experience seriously and succeeded greatly as well).
Don't be so devastated if you don't get into a top top tier university. It's actually not the end of the world. What's more important is to own whatever college you do end up going to.
Don't kill yourself over the past; look towards the future and be motivated and determined to succeed in the future (and enjoy yourself in college too!).
Best of luck 
EDIT: To directly answer one of your questions: yes, college admissions do look at your 9th grade GPA (along with a ton of other things though, so relax a bit... just perform better in your upcoming classes).
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my advice? dont feel shitty about some grade and dont care to much what university you gonna go too.
just enjoy your time and make the most out of it, dont worry what other thinks.
a system which puts that much pressure on people due to one grade is a bad system which should be replaced anyway
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It's that constant feeling in your head of, "hey, you fucked up! you'll never get to an amazing university! you'll go to a "normal" university, like all the other "average, normal" people!".
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On July 06 2014 09:44 ill_mind wrote:
It's that constant feeling in your head of, "hey, you fucked up! you'll never get to an amazing university! you'll go to a "normal" university, like all the other "average, normal" people!".
I understand where your worrying is coming from, but you'll find out in college that you didn't need to worry When you get to college, you'll realize that you're no longer the smartest person in the class, regardless of what university you go to. Plenty of incredibly intelligent and unique students go to non-ivy colleges, and you can have a wonderful (or a shitty) educational and social life at any college.
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United States889 Posts
While I respect your goal, it's not all it's cracked up to be. You get a second chance, I think, depending on what you want to do. So if you're looking at graduate school, you'll definitely get a second chance.
I went to the University of Iowa. A good school, not a great school, but I'm in a doctorate program at Northwestern University now, which is reaching a tad bit higher than undergrad was. I took a class a while back where we had to disclose where we went for undergrad on a sign up sheet passed around the room. I glanced over it, and there were several Harvards, a Berkeley, an MIT, an Oxford, etc. And I proudly signed University of Iowa. Who cares, you know? We're all in the same place now, and there's no shame about it.
If you plan on continuing on (and that's a fairly big if, but by no means out of the question depending on your goals/field) then you're not out yet. Just work really hard in undergrad and seize every opportunity and you can make it there.
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On July 06 2014 09:44 ill_mind wrote:
It's that constant feeling in your head of, "hey, you fucked up! you'll never get to an amazing university! you'll go to a "normal" university, like all the other "average, normal" people!".
Amazing university does not equal amazing person.
When I was applying for graduate schools my professor told me this:
"If you are amazing, the name of the school does not matter. You will be recognized no matter what and you will be able to go wherever you want afterwards."
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I'd suggest you read Malcolm Gladwell's "David and Goliath" as there's a great section in there about the myths and mystique of top-tier vs middle-tier universities and their students' success ratios.
It's also just a great read in general! :-D
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I am planning on continuing on. I'd like to work really hard in undergrad, but college seems so much harder than highschool. I always found highschool quite easy, in terms of paper writing, exams, etc, and I heard there are very few cases of excellence in subjects, and most people get 60s and 70s.
I'm still thinking of applying to UCLA though. It's a holistic admission process, and it's not a huge Ivy league like Harvard, nor is it something top-tier UC like UC Berkeley. I feel as though my extracurriculars, participation in olympiads pertaining to my areas of interest (math, science) and other non-academic stuff may push me through. Sure, MIT and Harvard may be no-no's for me right now, but I might give UCLA a shot. Does anyone here have experience with UCLA? It's at the same time both a challenging school to get to, but something that seems somewhat reachable.
Edit: Also, thank you for the responses everyone.
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You're not majorly boned. Regardless of what happens, it sounds like you'll go to a decent university.
And as long as you go to some university for undergrad, you're likely not shut out of whatever aspirations you have for the future (unless it's heavily prestige-centric but those occupations are pretty rare e.g., academia). You'll need to do well in undergrad and it'll take more legwork, but you can overcome whatever advantage you might've had at an ivy school with sheer determination. The greatest economic advantage of an ivy over a non-ivy is the network. So don't just be reliant on your career office, but do your own networking.
And don't let the prestige stick to your brain. There are plenty of idiots who go to top schools. And there are a lot of bright kids at your state universities as well. Try not to put a good pedigree on a pedestal.
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Grade nine grades don't matter as much as other grades and they are not even a factor in Stanford's admissions. Consider your GPA to be better than it is since it pleases admissions people to see an improvement in your grades from year to year.
Also UCLA is probably less holistic than other universities (especially those you listed) because it is limited in the extent it can practice certain admissions practices. It's just easier overall, to boot: look at its admissions statistics.
Here's what I learned about MIT, going through the process myself: they want a certain class. Yes they want the kids who got gold-medals at the IMO, and the kids that won the Intel and Siemens fairs, but they don't care much about scores and grades as long as they are good enough; the majority of students there aren't actually that impressive numerically. You can verify this yourself by looking at their admissions statistics. I don't want to go on a cynical tirade about why that's how they run their admissions, but that is just how they do it. If you can emphasize something about yourself that would fit in with their "culture" you will have an easier time getting in. It sounds like you have around a 3.7 GPA or something so just don't sweat it.
I had the same attitude as you for a while (top X or bust!) and guess what? You get over it. I go to a somewhat "prestigious" school, though not one of the ones that I had wanted (I wanted MIT or Harvard too) the most. Yes, it stung to see that I was rejected from Caltech, MIT, Princeton, and others, and it stung when I didn't make it off the Harvard waitlist. But considering all the people I know and where they are going to college, I have to say that going to a higher ranked college doesn't mean jack shit when it comes to how smart you are. One of the smartest guys I know is going to the University of Kentucky. The girl I know going to Harvard isn't even very smart and has a horrible personality. Plus, it's undergrad. Unless you plan on going into consulting or finance, it probably doesn't matter that much anyway.
Protip: before you apply anywhere look for a school's net price calculator. Since you say you're from Canada, UCLA probably isn't that great of an idea since they won't give you much financial aid, and they don't have merit scholarships afaik.
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You're looking for Status of the school, not the actual education you can get out of it. So, the first issue you have is that some part of you wants the Status before the Fit, Utility or Cost of the school is taken into consideration.
Though the next highly important issue is: What do you plan to get a Degree in & what do you plan to do? If you're going into Engineering, that's a BIG difference from, say, Humanities. A school with a "good, well-regarded" program in the field you're studying is actually more important.
Side bar: if you come from a family with a good amount of money, and the Status of where you get in is actually important to all of you, then realize what you're actually up to. It will hurt your actual education in the process, however. (No one makes a strong argument that most of the top schools have the best undergraduate education in the country, anymore. They're good, but the best? No. What they are is the most exclusive with the best students. Schools in the middle of the Top 50 are likely the best actual "schools" for the sake of the education.)
Next, you've likely been sold on a steady diet of "School -> College -> Degree -> Job -> Success". He's a bit of Wisdom: it doesn't work that way. Your "success" is built off your Self-control and your Skill set. Then, how you can sell that skill set. School & Grades are hoop-jumping competitions. You have to be thinking about looking past that, which means actually learning skills from your classes and having work experience in the actual area you want to work in.
If you're looking at a field that requires Graduate School, that's actually the school that matters. But each field, for which is "best", is different and takes even further research. Which is a slightly different topic.
So, it's really about what you want to "do", the reasons for it and where you want to go. That's a much better way to select a school. Both my brother & I took this approach to college. Brother went to one of the best engineering schools in the country (and makes a lot of money for his effort), while I went to one of the top 20 Private Colleges (at least in the year I applied, those ranks popping around a lot) and spent most of my free time talking 1 on 1 with my professors. (This was a *really* important point for me) The approach of finding the school that works for *you* is far more valuable, considering the MONSTROUS COST ASSOCIATED WITH COLLEGE. This is likely the 2nd most expensive investment you'll ever make (a single family home being the other) in your LIFE. Put some thought into the utility of the school for your own ends, not the name-tag that comes with it.
And if you do go to UCLA, which is a good school, work hard to be at the top of your class. Learn deeply of what is important for your field of study. *That* is where the value comes from. Showing up? No.
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I guess you guys are right. It's just that to be honest, I have no idea where I want to go, or what I want to do. My passions are playing SC2, coding, doing graphic design, that sort of stuff, but I have no idea how those can intertwine since I love them all pretty equally. I don't know what direction to go or what to do.
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The College Admissions process has created a generation of the most boring people imaginable.
No offense to the OP.
For the record, I applied to MIT, Rice, and Princeton and, despite easily being the most impressive candidate in two top 100 high schools, I didn't get into any of them while classmates parlayed their sob stories into Harvard and Rice admissions. (Yes, I'm bitter. Hey, it's not my fault that they won't grade on a curve and fail my other classmates in English!) I went to Texas, fucked up a lot and learned unimaginably more than I thought possible. One advantage of going to a slightly less prestigious school is you can get out of the mainstream bubble a little bit. I mean, good luck getting anywhere at Harvard if you don't like fellating Marx and Rawls.
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On July 06 2014 11:13 ill_mind wrote:
I guess you guys are right. It's just that to be honest, I have no idea where I want to go, or what I want to do. My passions are playing SC2, coding, doing graphic design, that sort of stuff, but I have no idea how those can intertwine since I love them all pretty equally. I don't know what direction to go or what to do.
One of the nice things about freshman year of college is that you have time to explore novel courses. Take a coding or graphic design course, but indulge yourself in other interesting classes too
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Unless you're planning to attend a business school and hobnob with the scions of the super-wealthy, the name of the school is far far less important than you think. If you have any idea what you're interested in studying you can find many schools that offer excellent programs that won't put you into a lifetime of crushing debt. Student loans are worse than herpes, be very very careful with them because you will pay them and many/most have borderline criminal interest rates.
Qualifiers aside, most college admission folks are looking for students who will be successful at their school and make their student body more dynamic and interesting. Potential to be a big donating alum is always another plus. Your 9th grade grades don't mean shit. Like at all. They will not be why you don't get into the school of your choice if you don't. Admission offices will, if the rest of your application is good enough, see your grades as someone who understands what they need to do to succeed at a university. Who is unlikely to go full Animal House and fail out on them. If you can write a decent essay, they will want you.
The idea that you need to do good all the time in school so you can get to a good college so that you can get a good job so that you can live a happy life is pure bullshit. You can find a school that provides the necessary paperwork for the next stage in your life, just choose carefully. (I recommend considering the weather, It was cold as fuck at Penn State. no bueno.)
You'll be fine.
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It's also much more important with WHOM you study than WHERE you study. A recommendation from a professor is worth much more than merely a degree. This is particularly true if you plan on going into higher education.
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On July 06 2014 11:14 Jerubaal wrote:
The College Admissions process has created a generation of the most boring people imaginable.
No offense to the OP.
For the record, I applied to MIT, Rice, and Princeton and, despite easily being the most impressive candidate in two top 100 high schools, I didn't get into any of them while classmates parlayed their sob stories into Harvard and Rice admissions.
Bro you better switch to a low sodium diet x.x
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What you have isn't a success/failure issue; what you have is an identity issue. By wrapping up your identity in the school that you go to, you're just ripping yourself apart. You are valuable because of who you are as a person; don't let yourself get sucked up into accepting the cold values this society tries to place on you, and don't shortchange yourself: not going to an Ivy League school doesn't suddenly make you less smart. There are millions of happy and successful people; there are thousands of people that attended an Ivy League school.
And just because, I'll share a bit from my own life too. See, I actually identify a lot with what you're saying here. I felt very similar a lot of times this past year. Academics has always been "my thing", so to speak. I've always done really well in school, and, like you, my goal was to get into a Princeton, Stanford, MIT etc. I applied (gosh, after all that, I didn't want to write another for months lol). I got rejected at all the top schools and now I'm going to a state public school. That hit me hard. I thought the exact same as you, "I'm going to school with all the normal, average kids" (I'm embarrassed to say I thought this, but I did, ok). I was used to always succeeding in schol, and now, suddenly, I felt like a failure. I was tempted then (and still am somewhat) to shift goals and do everything I can as an undergrad so I can go to a top graduate school. But at some point, you just realize that that's all just BS. I'm not going to let an external institution dictate my life. It's fine as a goal but as an obsession, it'll just make my life miserable, for no other reason than that I'm too proud to accept a perceived "failure". It's not failure; where I'm going now is opportunity, and I'd say the same for any place I go. That's what living is, and I'll gladly take this adventure because, at face value, not wrapped up in silly comparisons, it's actually quite quite amazing.
Just my thoughts. tl;dr Re-assess your values
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On July 06 2014 13:18 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On July 06 2014 11:14 Jerubaal wrote:
The College Admissions process has created a generation of the most boring people imaginable.
No offense to the OP.
For the record, I applied to MIT, Rice, and Princeton and, despite easily being the most impressive candidate in two top 100 high schools, I didn't get into any of them while classmates parlayed their sob stories into Harvard and Rice admissions. Bro you better switch to a low sodium diet x.x
The only salt I consume are the tears of my enemies.
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EPT
