Hey bro, i cant help with the first part, but as far as the anxiety goes, i too have experienced anxiety attacks. I know how you feel as far as that goes. I know its scary, and like you said it really does help to have someone by your side. Like you my mother was that person for me, and it really made me appreciate her and i realized i had taken her for granite. The first time it happened she stayed up with me all night talking about stuff until i fell asleep. I went to the hospital only to find out i was fine.

That was 2 years ago and i have been fine ever since. As you mentioned, acceptance is pretty important, and ive found so is laughing. My experiences have made me appreciate a good laugh so much more, not being afraid to laugh at myself has also helped me a great deal. Im sure it seems like the journey is long, but just take it a day at a time, and before you know it a month will pass, than a year and so on. Hope this helps bro, get well

Amestir

Netherlands2126 Posts

May 16 2014 11:32 GMT

#142

All the best Chad!

Waterflow

Sweden1550 Posts

May 16 2014 11:43 GMT

#143

Wow what a nightmare. Really felt for you while reading that.

Those nurses (the ones who did not give a F about you) needs to get fired and replaced with compassionate nurses instead. I hope you recover fully! gl

Alak

Sweden380 Posts

May 16 2014 11:55 GMT

#144

Get well soon, and continue to stay on top of your health situation! Your health is the foundation from which all your other joys/hobbies spring and it's worth taking care of. Hoping for a full recovery!

Anacreor

Netherlands291 Posts

May 16 2014 11:56 GMT

#145

Man, that is a horrible experience.. Hope you get well soon, all the best from the Netherlands!

alullabyofpain

22 Posts

May 16 2014 12:25 GMT

#146

Hey man I hope you feel better!! Chron disease is really delicate condition I hope you take care well and take this time away to heal your eye and rest your heart, I will pray for you best I can do ^-^ dont forget to update us! and get well

FrankBennedetto

3 Posts

May 16 2014 12:27 GMT

#147

Jeez fuck. Hope you get well soon and grow stronger from this. All the best for you!

scotch4789

United States42 Posts

May 16 2014 12:54 GMT

#148

That's terrible to hear Minigun! My father was recently in the hospital (for something much less serious) but he was mostly ignored while my mother wasn't there (thankfully she was able to be there most of the time). Its pretty awful that it goes down that way. Anyways, get well soon man!

Penev

28503 Posts

May 16 2014 12:59 GMT

#149

Holy crap, that's some serious shit.. O.O
I hope you feel better soon and get everything sorted out.

Noobity

United States871 Posts

May 16 2014 13:29 GMT

#150

Sucks, dude. I wish you didn't have to go through that but it seems you learned a lot from it, so at least there's that?

Get well soon, dude.

ETisME

12530 Posts

May 16 2014 13:37 GMT

#151

I will be watching your stream for sure.
Take very good care of yourself and speed recovery!

FFW_Rude

France10201 Posts

May 16 2014 13:39 GMT

#152

That blog touched me really hard. It was horrible to read.

Starcraft don't matter, your life does. We as a community can't help you and i'm sorry for this. You could run an empty stream i would be on it 24H/7 if it would help you financially or supportively.

I wish you all the best, the luck and whatever you need.

I strongly believe somewhere that TL is a family and that when we watch starcraft it's like we watching our children. I wish we could take care of our children better. I really hope you are going to get better.

Stay strong, Stay sharp and fuck starcraft, so no more excuse of not playing a game, we don't care. We care about your health. Get just well.

Sorry if it's not making good sense. It was an emotional response.

Topdoller

United Kingdom3860 Posts

May 16 2014 14:12 GMT

#153

Life is too short, get well and worry about everything else later. All the best Chad

ChriS-X

Malaysia1374 Posts

May 16 2014 14:16 GMT

#154

i don't believe that any progamer would willingly miss any game of this importance, and in your case, its fully understandable. please don't feel the need to apologise, as everyone else here has already mentioned, since there are legitimate circumstances which prevented you from showing up. get well soon, and i hope to see you challenging for wcs again in the near future

Onegu

United States9699 Posts

May 16 2014 14:38 GMT

#155

I wish you the best. Going to write a blog about this with a bit more of my thoughts on the state of hospitals.

cmgillett

United States335 Posts

May 16 2014 14:48 GMT

#156

horrible to hear you've had to go through this stuff. Chronic diseases are a really hard thing to come to grasps with.. And I wish you the best with that. I'm sure your stream will be just fine and your viewers will be loyal. Looking forward to the next time you're in good enough condition to fire it up. Thanks for sharing your struggles and letting people into your life.

diggs413

1 Post

May 16 2014 14:51 GMT

#157

Chad, I hope all the best for you! You have been and will continue to be my favorite streamer. Whenever you're up for it I'll be tuning in! Love you man! Get well soon! =D

29 fps

United States5724 Posts

May 16 2014 15:02 GMT

#158

those are some terrible nurses... i've had surgery before, too, so i (kinda) know how shitty it is (even worse when the nurses are terrible). get well soon

shell

Portugal2722 Posts

May 16 2014 15:04 GMT

#159

fuck that's harsh!

hope you get better soon!

GL

Douillos

France3195 Posts

May 16 2014 15:32 GMT

#160

On May 16 2014 02:02 ROOTMinigun wrote:

I'm also a little worried about this feeling/pressure i have on my eye, I'm not sure if it's dryness or what. I've been to 3 eye drs, and they all say my eye is "healthy" but something isn't right, and nausea and lightheartedness are accompanying it. I'm afraid it's not going to get figured out, and that's where the majority of my anxiety attacks are coming from. I see a neurologist soon, and if he doesn't have any ideas either I don't know what I am going to do. I'm starting to think it's all in my head and I'm crazy, but it can't be....

Hi Minigun,

Don't know If you are going to read this, but I went through a similar phase: I went through a whole month of having the feeling of being slightly drunk, like if I was just a bit dizzy. This caused nausea and I always felt my eyes were dry and tired.
I get sinus infections really often, mostly because my nose was broken more times than I can count, so I thought it was that. I went to see one of the best doctors in that domain, specialized in the internal ear, which I though was affected by a sinus infection. I wont go into the whole psychological thing, but thanks to spending time on the internet, taking my temperature 10 times a day, I basically though I had aids or cancer or whatever. This got worse when no one could understand what I had, and I had a shit load of tests done.

Turns out It was indeed coming from my eyes: Spending 10-12 hours a day on the computer (work + play), isn't very good for the eye... As you spend long hours at the same focus distance, the muscle of your eyes get weaker, and It gets more complicated for them to focus at different distances. I don't actually know how this is called in English, but basically you need to go through eye re-education (painless and Easy) to get those eyes back into shape.

There is a pretty easy test to see if you have a problem like that: place your finger at like 10-15 cm from your eyes and then move it slowly all around so that your eyes do a complete circle. If there is a spot where your vision goes double (for me it was top right) then you know what your problem is.

Dunno if this helps but I went through a lot of anxiety before someone told me what was up ....

Good luck with the rest!