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Lost a Part of Myself

Blogs > Chill
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Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
March 08 2014 06:09 GMT
#1
I just went through a personal moment and thought I should get it down here.

I was cleaning my house to make space for my wife and came across my WWI and Blizzcon bags. WWI was the "World Wide Invitational" held in Paris in 2008. I only attended Blizzcon 2008 and 2009.

Anyway, at these nerdy conventions, they always give you a loot bag. It's filled with a lot of advertisements, some figurines, etc. To be honest, I never really cared about that stuff so it has literally sat in my closet for 5 years. I was saving it thinking it might have some resale value in 2010. That came and went and it's just been sitting ever since.

I lined it up to be thrown out and thought I should go through it just to see what's in there just before I throw it out. As I said, there was a lot of ads and garbage, but there was so much nostalgia. There was a Team Liquid business card that Kennigit had printed for me. There was a cigarette lighter phone charger that I had accidentally taken from Haji. There was a card with the Korean players names that we had used to get everyone to chant "1 2 3 ___ Fighting!" before the matches. So I rounded up all the cool stuff and kept it in the WWI backpack and tosses the remainder.

That's when nostalgia hit me hard. I know I was never competitively good at Brood War, but I was much more a player than a fan. I know the majority of the staff here watched all the big events daily, but I rarely watched Starcraft. I just loved to play it. Playing Brood War really was a huge part of my life. I think I played Starcraft and loved playing Starcraft much more than anyone on this site realized. When that world began to cross with the real world, it was exciting times. It led to meeting tons of great people, travelling to France, US, Japan, and Korea. It gave many opportunities I never would have had otherwise. And it led to the TSL, which was the culmination of this journey for me.

Through it all, I still loved playing Brood War. I'm not sure Starcraft 2 could have ever lived up the expectations Brood War set for it in my eyes, so it quickly became evident that it felt flat to me. The life Starcraft 2 injected into this community was amazing, and it brought so many people into the RTS genre. But that day will always be a little bit sad for me when Brood War was definitely gone. It's clear to me nothing will ever fill that Brood War gaming hole.

So as I was cleaning out my house, I just felt like finally "Chill" is gone, and it left me sad. It was a good run and things change. It made me thankful for the mementos people have left me that will always remind me of those times. I've kept as much as I could and I hope one day I can show them to my children to explain those good ol' times to them.

I've still got the pony shirt we all signed in Paris.
I've still got the signed Sea cheerful I was supposed to give to Fakesteve (sorry Steve)
I've still got the note FireBlast! left on my fridge when he left Calgary.
I've still got my CJ keyboard bag and my team shirts.

I'm starting to realize as I get older and my memory fades, it's important to surround yourself with things that remind you who you are.

PS I'm still upset I didn't get to meet Zileas at the TL dinner

****
Moderator
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
March 08 2014 06:21 GMT
#2
Chill! <3

My biggest regret is not going out-of-my-way to attend live events during BW's heyday, but it's very cool that you were able to do so much. I can only imagine how much harder you notalgia'ed though since you lived through everything, and hell, MADE BW history yourself with the TSL. I understand exactly what you mean about SC2, and in all fairness, it probably never had a chance for some of us.

Anyways, cool read.

And wtf WHEN DID YOU GET MARRIED?!?
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
Superiorwolf
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States5509 Posts
March 08 2014 06:59 GMT
#3
Chill although you've moved on for the most part, it's still awesome that you've got some of those things to always remember the good times in Starcraft! So even if it's a small part of your life now you haven't completely lost it Plus, don't ever forget when you beat Salv in the TL vs SC2GG match on Andromeda! :D I hope Starcraft will always have a special place in your heart
Check out my stream at www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=315053 and follow me on Twitter @EGSuppy! :)
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
March 08 2014 07:13 GMT
#4
This was really hard to read for me. I'm really young, but I always dread the day that I walk into my attic/storage room and find my old mouse and keyboard and just question where did the time go.
User was warned for too many mimes.
iamho
Profile Joined June 2009
United States3347 Posts
March 08 2014 07:15 GMT
#5
I really enjoyed your showmatch vs combat-ex, it was what prompted me to switch from watching progaming exclusively to playing BW myself. Its weird to think that its been 5 years since then, and so much has changed in everyone's lives.
Stratos
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Czech Republic6104 Posts
March 08 2014 07:26 GMT
#6
On March 08 2014 15:09 Chill wrote:
But that day will always be a little bit sad for me when Brood War was definitely gone.

the things I keep learning from bw veterans..
En Taro Violet
intrigue
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
March 08 2014 07:35 GMT
#7
=]
Moderatorhttps://soundcloud.com/castlesmusic/sets/oak
Badjas
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Netherlands2038 Posts
March 08 2014 07:40 GMT
#8
And you don't have kids yet hmm? ... ;-)

I know you as the Starcraft strategy section lord and ruler. In that sense you were the most renowned back then. But "internet stardom" or fame in general has a short shelf life for happiness.

It must've been cool to travel around. I didn't do that stuff. Am I safe in that I can't lose that part of myself? Nah, gotta take risks bro
I <3 the internet, I <3 you
RebirthOfLeGenD
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
USA5860 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-08 08:30:40
March 08 2014 08:29 GMT
#9
You know I was just sitting here reminiscing about BW with a friend, going over how competitive me and another friend became in 2v2 during the PGTour/early ICCup days and I miss the hell out of what that was to me as a kid/teenager. So much great memories,. Then I hop on TL and this is what I see. But I must thank you Chill. Some of the last great memories I have of BW were listening to you and Day9 cast the TSL2. You guys were awesome and I was really happy that you actually casted the grand final. In retrospect, it felt like such an exciting and fulfilling ending to the BW era for me. It is just sad though knowing that I will never be able to truly relive those glory days so to speak. My good friends I used to BW with now have other things which occupy their time, so the odds of us ever all playing together is a bit slim. But at least I made some really good friends and I will never forget the impact this game and community had on my development as a person, from some little twerp named Monkeyspanker who tried to get you to webcam with his mom, to whatever the hell I am now.
Be a man, Become a Legend. TL Mafia Forum Ask for access!!
ETisME
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
12387 Posts
March 08 2014 08:40 GMT
#10
one day it is going to happen to me too, except with me, it will be SC2.
"This too shall pass"
其疾如风,其徐如林,侵掠如火,不动如山,难知如阴,动如雷震。
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
March 08 2014 08:52 GMT
#11
Well congratulations on the married part.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
March 08 2014 09:13 GMT
#12
When I gave away my CJ and WeMade team shirts in 2012 for the TL secret santa thing, I realized, like you, that things have come to an end.
NeThZOR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa7387 Posts
March 08 2014 09:21 GMT
#13
This is so sad T_T I hate it when nostalgia hits that hard
SuperNova - 2015 | SKT1 fan for years | Dear, FlaSh, PartinG, Soulkey, Naniwa
Birdie
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
New Zealand4438 Posts
March 08 2014 09:59 GMT
#14
BW still here, come play some games
Red classic | A butterfly dreamed he was Zhuangzi | 4.5k, heading to 5k as support!
ZoW
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States3983 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-08 10:43:39
March 08 2014 10:42 GMT
#15
thanks for the memories
the courage to be a lazy bum
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
March 08 2014 11:05 GMT
#16
I really wish I was able to go to some of the big BW events in person a number of years ago when the scene the still huge and I was streaming and posting 125+ posts a week. It feels wrong to say that I would have enjoyed it so much more back then than I would now, but it's true and I know it. I feel like if I were to go now, even to an SC2 event, that it would just remind me of BW nostalgia and make me a little depressed.

I can't imagine how that feeling is for those who registered on TL before me and started getting into it all before I ever even knew it existed. I can't imagine the sorrows of the nostalgia being intensified more than I already feel after barely experiencing the adventure that was BW.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
March 08 2014 11:50 GMT
#17
i still love this
[image loading]
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
Monsen
Profile Joined December 2002
Germany2548 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-03-08 12:00:17
March 08 2014 11:57 GMT
#18
Absolutely can relate. I don't think I've ever been as emotional (about anything not women related at least) as I was at the final OSL. Those games were so epic + Show Spoiler +
Dat jangbang ><
and I knew nothing would ever even come close to that. I guess the loss I felt illustrated the magnitude of the awesomeness that I was able to witness for so many years.
11 years and counting- TL #680
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
March 08 2014 12:13 GMT
#19
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Man, time sure does fly.
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
don_kyuhote
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
3006 Posts
March 08 2014 13:57 GMT
#20
One of the 1st youtube BW "tutorial" video that I watched when I got into BW in the Summer of 2008.
I laughed so hard when you went "yaya...ya" and someone types "shut up"
Good times.


For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
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