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So some time ago (around a year and a half I think) I had an unpleasant experience with a Heinz ketchup bottle, where it took me like an hour of hard work to get that motherfucker open.
Many of you rebuked me for being uncultured and foolish, not to know that you had to unscrew the lid and remove the seal. Of course I knew these things.
I haven't bought Heinz ketchup since then because of the trauma, but recently I ended my boycott and bought another bottle (from the very same store actually). This bottle was actually quite easy to unscrew, further proving that I am not some idiot, the first bottle was defective or had been welded shut by some angry grocery store employee.
On a related note, I've had another problem recently with things that are too tight. The cold knob of the shower where I'm living has some kind of defect that causes it to be tighter than Satan's asshole in the morning (how's that for syntactic ambiguity?). Yesterday I literally could not turn it on for the life of me. The hot water in this place is HOT water, so showering without the cold is out of the question. I ended up splashing myself a bit and washing my hair in the sink like a hobo.
I talked with one of my housemates and he has the same problem, so it's not just me.
Today I had the same thing happen, but I put on my thinking cap and wore one of my winter gloves which has good grip. This worked quite well, I will probably start bringing a glove with me to the shower every morning.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
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On January 31 2014 02:26 intrigue wrote:
you live a blessed life
Yeah right. Just think of me, naked but for a winter glove and a proverbial thinking cap, struggling with all my might to unscrew a shower knob, and you'll realize how unblessed my life is. The rest of my day is easy after what it takes to have a shower.
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You live the hardest life ever
I hate not being able to unscrew stuff. maybe you just had sweaty palms and couldnt grip?
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
I hate mayonnaise because this one time I made my own and I put salt instead of sugar
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On January 31 2014 02:47 PassiveAce wrote:
You live the hardest life ever
I hate not being able to unscrew stuff. maybe you just had sweaty palms and couldnt grip?
Nah it's winter my hands are dry as hell. Yesterday I basically bruised my hands trying to unscrew it. The gloves help with grip but also protect my precious hands.
On January 31 2014 03:07 lichter wrote:
I hate mayonnaise because this one time I made my own and I put salt instead of sugar
Surely mayonnaise does have salt in it? But the amount of sugar would be way too much for salt.
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On January 31 2014 03:07 lichter wrote:
I hate mayonnaise because this one time I made my own and I put salt instead of sugar
Ugh. I'm going to be grossed out for the rest of the day now.
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Don´t turn off the shower so tightly.
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If you need to turn off the shower so tightly the gasket could probably use a replacement - takes 2 minutes.
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I'm not turning it off tightly. It's possible that housemate #2 is, he's a bit weird.
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I couldn't resist reading this blog. I just don't know.
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if i cant unscrew food stuff, i just punch a whole into it and then the low pressure is gone from it.
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Man, your ketchup post was gold. I sent it round to my friends so they could laugh at your stupidity.
It may have been on super tight but as this is the internet, i'm going to assume you are weak and have sweaty hands.
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On January 31 2014 21:27 Shottaz wrote:
Man, your ketchup post was gold. I sent it round to my friends so they could laugh at your stupidity.
It may have been on super tight but as this is the internet, i'm going to assume you are weak and have sweaty hands.
Well I am a scrawny dude. Weak may be accurate but my hands are not sweaty.
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this if the first time i will have said "first world problems" and not meant it sarcastically
first world problems man they're a bitch especially that shower... bathing is like the number one priority of western civilization
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On February 01 2014 01:01 DeepElemBlues wrote:
this if the first time i will have said "first world problems" and not meant it sarcastically
first world problems man they're a bitch especially that shower... bathing is like the number one priority of western civilization
The worst is it feels like a stupid problem, but that doesn't make it less real. I'm just standing there thinking "I can't shower because the knob is stuck? Is this real life?" And then washing my hair in a tiny sink way too small for my head is just supremely pathetic.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
hey man, wanted to check in and see how you're doing. i know you've been through some dark shit and i want you to know you can always talk to us if you have something you need to get off your chest, okay? we're here for you. hope you're holding up alright. it's a tough world but you have friends. good luck buddy
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