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Yeah this is a vent blog so if you dont want to hear a random rant then gtfo.
My first surgeon looked like a scammer but i wanted to go ahead with her anyway cuz I could take sitting around literally doing nothing. Luckily my mom (after days of arguing) told me to hold up. She thought of going to my family doctor and he just sent me to a close by specialist, who was very VERY nice to us unlike the first bitch. The surgeon was also very nice (fucking first surgeon is a bitch.) Never ever go to the Brampton eyeMD centre in Ontario Canada. Never.
They gave me a surgery date of oct 5, but then I discolated my shoulder (my moronic self thought it would be a good idea to fight my friend, and I lost control (like usual) and pushed through a should lock last year and dislocated my shoulder, but my dumass never went to a docotr after it healed. Two months agoI pushed off my bed and the same muscle ripped cuz it was never fully healed, so I had to get the surgery postponed to jan 17 of 2014 and i spent the last two months doing shoulder excerices to prevent frozen shoulder. I kept getting dizzy all the time so I would lose count after like 2 and over do it, so my mom suggested I use crayons to count instead. I lost sometimes cuz its hard to keep putting the crayons away cuz my eyes fucking wobble around like a chameleon. but my should is better now, but then I had to get a pre-op check up and it has to be a month before the surgery max, I go there and he asks me my height and weight and takes my blood pressure (which is 120/80 and thats fine I guess). I do this 2 weeks ago cuz the secretary said he would go on vacation, but it turns out he is still here and I called the surgeons place for something else and asked anyway if the early check up was alright, but she said it might not be ok cuz its too early. I cant get a hold of the hospital, and tommorow is the last day the docs going to be here. I was supposed to go friday but we dont have a car and its all icy and my moms back pains keep getting worse, so we couldnt go. If my mom doesnt feel better and the ice doesnt clear up, I might have to postpone my surgery again and I cant take waiting around.
All I do all dy is sit, do maybe 5 mins of should excercies (but it takes me half an hour cuz I keep spacing out) listen to the sae few game themes and kpop songs. TV sucks, all the characters are fucking retards and i can tell bad acting/editing/shots so it just pisses me off. I re watched dbz but even then that pissed me off.. god why are tv and movies so fucking stupid. I wouldnt even need this vent blog if they were actually any good. The only thing Im doing is cancelling ad block on TL and keeping streams open on mobile when I can, mostly for their music... atleast im helping something. btw im not reading TL at all, just open random pages to get the ads in.
everyday i just wander off to how if I didnt have this stupid thing i would have been a normal child to raise, my mom could have focused on divorcing and I would be hanging out with friends.
I have no friends, cant work, cant excerice, cant play an instrument, cant do anything literally. my mom and my bro dont like me, but my mom cooks and cleans with w.e strength she has. Of course they wouldnt like me, I sadi id pull them out and but I dont talk to them for a year cuuz im ashamed of my failing and then they randomly find out i flunked out of school. I have a history of letting people down. Im literally a little sht. Iv ruined every chance i had for a good life cuz of my fuking eyes. I tried learning programming in middle school and then I had to quit it and thn a year later the iphone comes out... I tried getting good at bw (but I was crap like I was crap at everything else cuz of my fuking eyes) and then i year after i quit sc2 comes out and esports is huge....
I have no idea wats gonna happen to me, when my surgery is going to happen, and of course my dad is adding a million tons to my burdon.
The only thing keepin me going is me wandering off to a future of a normal life cuz iv heard from both surgeons and an optomitrist that my problem is that of a muscle imbalance and not cuz my brain cant control my eyes. Maybe i can finally become independant, pull my mom and my bro out of our ghetto lifestyle and be the person i wanna be.
EDIT: oh yeah my houes is on sell notice cuz my dad wont accept full time jobs even though they are like 100k/yr jobs. ....
fml
UPDATE: Well I just got a hold of somebody, and they said it was ok cuz Im pretty healthy and my phsical wasnt really that big of a deal. She said if anyone was giving a problem I can say "Niki" said it was ok. Im gonna call her a few hours from now from my gmail phone and speak in a high pitched voice and ask for niki see what happens.
  
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That was tough to read and I'm confused as to what thing you have besides recurrent shoulder injuries. I take it you have some sort of issue with your shoulders...
Lots of typos and strange spelling, and for some reason you use the word "should" to shorten the word "shoulder" and that's just a weird, weird thing to do.
Good luck though.
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sorry about the spelling. I cant really go through it cuz it causes migrains. I typed this with my eyes half closed.
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It seems like you have some tough circumstances, perhaps you should focus on what you can do well. If what you say is true about your eyes then the last thing you should be doing is spending a lot of time watching computer/TV screens. Sure sometimes it is good for leisure but it seems as an outsider that there is an overwhelming feeling of lethargy and hopelessness.
Exercise is great to boost your mood and additionally it is good for your health. If you have as much free time as you say you do, perhaps a hobby/sport might help spend some time being active. I know perhaps this sounds pretentious but I know for many people that a bit of sport/exercise can really change their perspective.
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lol man i already tried getting active. its hard to be active when you cant even walk without tripping but I appreciate your suggestion
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On December 23 2013 09:47 WikidSik wrote:
lol man i already tried getting active. its hard to be active when you cant even walk without tripping but I appreciate your suggestion
It is hard to know all of your circumstances and I know this is a vent blog but I imagine a blog like this has a number of purposes
1.) To vent (obviously)
2.) To get suggestions
3.) To get sympathy
Like I said I would try to focus on what you can do, not what you can't. It doesn't sound like what your doing is working well for you, you should try changing some things.
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I always thought vent was a great service. I used it in WoW and never had any issues. The best part was that I never had to pay for it, someone in the guild always did. I guess they really wanted the officer title. I would think Vent is still a great service to handle 30+ people in the same voice chat.
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BigFan: Thanks thats exactly what I wanted lol jeez i never thought id end up wanting a soothing type speech. im 20. I tried picking up a guitar but I cant strum for more than a few seconds without getting head aches so yeah. My mom just sees it has her duty to help me out, she would burst atleast a few times a day saying things like "well you also blew money" and stuff like that when I would give suggestions.
I have exotropic conversion insufficiency. So my eyes cant maintain convergence, so one of them just flies out and feels like they are gonna be pulled out of my eye socket, and then the other one starts to feel like its doing the same. It flies out about every few seconds. The only way im able to read your reply is by underline the words with the mouse and taking lots and lots of breaks (cuz im spacing out cuz of the pain)
Spacemonkeyy: Yes I wanted sympathy cuz right now it feels like everyone is just spitting on me.
HeeroFX: lol that cheered me up a bit.
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The main thing I got out of this is how big of a dick his dad supposedly is? Wtf dad?
EDIT: The best thing to do, if your eyes aren't going so hot, is drawing/art. You literally draw our your anger and rage in lines and dots, and eventually, they beging to take shape and you can visualize that frustration. You can't play an instrument, and I wouldn't recommend learning one as of yet with your eyes like they are, BUT, if you can get yourself mandolin/banjo those are fairly easy to learn and can be bought on the cheap, the harp is a bit harder to find cheap and less easy to learn, but less looked down upon in pop culture. If you can, you can write out your feelings in poetry or composition without opening your eyes and that only takes imagination and some creativity.
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docvoc: hey the art idea was a great idea. Ill try when im really really annoyed.
Pandemona: Well I just got a hold of somebody, and they said it was ok cuz Im pretty healthy and my phsical wasnt really that big of a deal. She said if anyone was giving a problem I can say "Niki" said it was ok. Im gonna call her a few hours from now from my gmail phone and speak in a high pitced voice and ask for niki see what happens.
In General thanks for a replies, it really helped to lift me a little.
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On December 24 2013 00:55 WikidSik wrote:
docvoc: hey the art idea was a great idea. Ill try when im really really annoyed.
Pandemona: Well I just got a hold of somebody, and they said it was ok cuz Im pretty healthy and my phsical wasnt really that big of a deal. She said if anyone was giving a problem I can say "Niki" said it was ok. Im gonna call her a few hours from now from my gmail phone and speak in a high pitced voice and ask for niki see what happens.
In General thanks for a replies, it really helped to lift me a little.
Why would you antagonize someone who seems like she is genuinely trying to help you?
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On December 25 2013 11:04 MysteryMeat1 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2013 00:55 WikidSik wrote:
docvoc: hey the art idea was a great idea. Ill try when im really really annoyed.
Pandemona: Well I just got a hold of somebody, and they said it was ok cuz Im pretty healthy and my phsical wasnt really that big of a deal. She said if anyone was giving a problem I can say "Niki" said it was ok. Im gonna call her a few hours from now from my gmail phone and speak in a high pitced voice and ask for niki see what happens.
In General thanks for a replies, it really helped to lift me a little. Why would you antagonize someone who seems like she is genuinely trying to help you?
yeah lol i changed my mind on that one. i was just being paranoid
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EPT
