EPT
The success of The Avengers gave every member of the titular supergroup a new lease on life. The charm and fun that oozed from the film reinvigorated fans, exciting them for a bevy of sequels in spite of their underwhelming predecessors. Hell, I was even ready for another Hulk movie, but I understand why Marvel might be reluctant to touch that cursed IP. Iron Man 3 exceeded even my post-Avengers expectations when RDJ and company created a movie that not only purged the foul aftertaste of Iron Man 2 but approached (and possibly surpassed) the first Iron Man in quality. On the other hand, Thor: The Dark World still left me skeptical. The first Thor was of little worth and the concurrently running Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was turning out to be wholly underwhelming. Yet there’s no way I’ll miss a Marvel movie with Christopher Eccelston and Idris Elba, so I trotted to the movies this weekend to check it out.
I thoroughly enjoyed Thor: The Dark World. It’s no Oscar winner, but it cut out most of the first film’s boredom and annoyance, leaving an over-the-top, badassery-stuffed, fun-filled adventure all the way through. Here are my bests, worsts, and awesomests of the shockingly good Thor 2.
Prepare for spoilers all ye who enter here.
The Bests
- Natalie Portman Does Something! – I genuinely could not tell you why Natalie Portman was in Thor. She brought nothing to the table as Jane Foster in the first movie except for being the vapid love interest of the big blonde god thing. It was lame and one of the bigger reasons I wasn’t thrilled about the first movie. If there’s going to be a “love interest,” they should be a full-fledged character too and participate in the plot itself. Thor: The Dark World corrects this deficiency by actually giving Natalie Portman things to do. Not only does Jane get a few good lines throughout the film, she actually contributes during the final battle by controlling the dimension-shifting portals with SCIENCE to help Thor take down the apocalypse-wielding Malekith. Her performance still sounds somewhat forced, but at least she got in on the action this time around.
- More Like “Friends of Thor” – Nothing is more telling about this franchise than the fact that the first scene after the opening title sequence features Loki instead of Thor. One of the biggest problems of the original Thor was simply that Thor is boring. He fights for justice, he loves Jane, and he hits baddies with a hammer. However, next to Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, and the rest of the Avengers crew, Thor transformed into an amusing counterpoint to the more interesting heroes. The creators of The Dark World must have taken notice of this and decided to play to the Asgardian’s strengths by sticking a companion to him in basically every scene. Sif, Jane, Eric, Heimdall, Odin: Thor’s interactions with these characters make his story far more compelling, though none perform this role so well as Loki. While Tom Hiddleston (by comparison) can carry a scene on his own, he also elevates Thor to far greater heights, which is why I loved the amount of screen time they shared.
- Repent Destruction – A personal annoyance of mine in recent action and superhero movies is the overabundance of wanton destruction. Most actions movies these days conclude with the destruction of a major city and the carnage is rarely narratively motivated enough to convince viewers that it’s not simply a reason to show off the special effects budget. As “realistic” as futuristic explosions may be, this trend is starting to become too accurate a mirror of the world’s own tragedies. Iron Man 3, Man of Steel, and Star Trek Into Darkness all featured scenes of mass destruction that were just too real on top of being barely necessary. Thor: The Dark World, on the other hand, avoided that cringe-worthy “realism” by way of the Asgardian setting and the world-leaping in the final battle. Sure, Greenwich took a bit of a beating, but it was no where near as visceral and frightening as in other films. Good on you Thor 2… good on you.
- Endings Worth Remembering – It’s a little too obvious to be a “twist,” but make no mistake: Thor: The Dark World’s ending will make you want to see the next installment in the franchise. Even if you saw it coming a mile away, it barely diminishes the awesomeness of the final reveal. Thor 3‘s going to be fun.
- Less Earth, More Awesome – The funny part about Thor (the original) was that the first half’s Asgardian segments were great and set a fun tone for the rest of the film. Then Thor landed on Earth and things got shitty. By shifting the setting to be almost entirely away from Earth, Thor: The Dark World stuck to what the franchise does best: cool visuals of alien places and people. Asgard looked absolutely incredible once again, as did their inhabitants and technologies. The Dark Elves were even cooler with their creepy masked foot soldiers and badass evil weaponry (holy shit the singularity grenades were terrifying). Even the scenes on Earth were so weird and otherworldly that they avoided the mundane pitfalls of the first film.
The Worsts
- Natalie Portman Still Doesn’t Do Enough – Despite her integral role at the end of the film, Natalie Portman still spends the first half of the film prone. After the Aether infests her, Jane Foster is either in a waking nightmare of the Aether’s destructive powers or she’s approaching faint at the thought of capture or tragedy. Or she’s kissing Chris Hemsworth. It’s sad that she ends up as more of a plot device than a character when, in theory, she should be a big deal throughout the story. In general, female characters should get more to do in these movies than provide romantic tension (implied or direct) with the hero. It sucks. Luckily there is something in Thor 2 to scratch that equality itch which I’ll mention later.
- Stop Copying Lord of the Rings – Dear Every Science Fiction and Fantasy Movie. If you’re considering writing an explanation of an ancient conflict that is narrated as said conflict plays out at the beginning of a movie, STOP AND DON’T DO IT. I know that Fellowship of the Ring started that way and made a bajillion dollars but that doesn’t mean that you need to do it too. Yes, the Asgardian victory over the Dark Elves was pretty to watch, but it was also completely unnecessary. Especially since Anthony Hopkins explains everything you need to know about them about 45 minutes (maybe less) into the film. Hell, leaving the Aether infestation or the powers of the Kursed or even the Dark Elf homeworld to be revealed to the audience when it was revealed to the characters would have made those moments much more effective. Wouldn’t the massive Dark Elf spaceship be more intimidating if you had never seen it before? I certainly think so, which is why these expository sequences are a sickness that must be stopped.
- Wasting Talent – I happen to know that Christopher Eccelston is awesome. So when he plays a one-dimensional, rarely-speaking villain like Malekith, I just get sad. I’m sure it’s difficult to create a nuanced and interesting enemy when you also have to juggle the Loki and Jane side stories, but I wish Eccelston got to do more in The Dark World. I didn’t get enough of him as 9 so I was really hoping to see him be more awesome in this movie. Oh well. Your loss, Marvel.
- Pseudoscience – Now I’m really nitpicking but the way science is treated in the Thor franchise is silly as all hell. Yes, the world has superheroes so I need to significantly suspend my disbelief, but Jane’s and Eric’s practices and experiments are distractingly obtuse. It’s partially Natalie Portman’s fault because Jane Foster doesn’t seem remotely adept or clever enough to be an academic of any kind, but we should also stop pretending that carrying around a smartphone with graphs on it or plugging weird metal poles into the ground makes you a scientist. Tony Stark seems like a damn scientist, so why can’t we get the dilettantes in Thor to follow his example?
- “Ancient Seals” – IF SOMETHING IS TERRIBLE AND EVIL AND NEEDS TO BE SEALED FOR ALL ETERNITY, DON’T PUT IT SOME PLACE THAT SOMEONE NAMED “JANE” COULD GET TO IT. You know what would’ve solved that problem? Actually burying the damn rock instead of putting it in the largest hall in Moria.
The Awesomests
- Heimdall Kills A Spaceship – By running fast enough to catch up to it, climbing a bridge to get to its level, and then stabbing it with his knives. Not with the giant sword he wields. With knives. Yeah. Badass.
- Frigga – I was prepared to write the scene with Malekith threatening Frigga off as another ridiculous affront to the women of the film. But then, instead of caving to his evil evilness, Rene Russo whipped out a sword and beat his ass to the ground. Seriously, she strikes the first blow and I was all “And then he’s going to actually try and she’ll be no match for him like in EVERY movie,” BUT NO. He tries to fight back but she’s all “No FUCK you” and absolutely reams him before shoving a sword under his throat. If she were slightly more ruthless she could’ve slit his Drow neck open and there would have been no impending universal doom. Unfortunately she hesitated just enough (I blame queenly righteousness) to get her killed by the Kursed Elf before she could end Malekith for good. Though the scene concluded with the “death of a female character that spurs the male protagonists to action” trope, Frigga was as awesome as possible before her demise. And it was beautiful.
- Demon Ice Puppy – That thing is adorable. It’s also funny, considering how it trampled onto the scene. God I hope that the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. crossover episode is about it.
- Put Chris O’Dowd, Jaimie Alexander, and Kat Jennings in Everything – This movie’s minor cast members were some of my favorite parts of the whole film. I’ve loved Chris O’Dowd since The I.T. Crowd and goddamn if the man doesn’t manage to be adorable and amusing in every thing in which he’s cast. Jaimie Alexander doesn’t get much screen time as the sword-wielding Sif, but when she’s battle-ready she is damn scary. Could someone please make her the lead of a film about a female superhero? She’d be great. Finally, most of the movie’s best lines come from Jane Foster’s kooky assistant Darcy. Kat Jennings’ whole character is a genuine delight. Why couldn’t she have been Jane Foster?
- God Bless Cap – Thank you Marvel crossovers for allowing Chris Evans to walk around like a dope in the halls of Asgard for 10 seconds. That’s why I see these movies.
You can see the real name of this review and read a lot more silly rants about nerdy stuff at the N3rd Dimension.
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