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So yesterday I found an active season train ticket with a phone number and a heart on the back. Figured I'd send a text asking her if she wanted it back. Indecisive as females are, she kept changing the date as to how to pick it up and our conversation became annoyingly long. I was deciding I would collect a hug as a reward and perhaps something more lasting, assuming she wasn't a landwhale. So we finally arrange a time and place and the slut comes in a car with her boyfriend... And doesn't even step out of the car. Hopeless beta as I am, I could not even ask her to get out of the car and give me a hug while her boyfriend was watching. She probably brought him for safety. All she did say was "I'm sorry I do not have any money to reward you with" and "Thank you" while I muttered "No problem" as her boyfriend swiftly drove away. Fuck. Even those baby steps are too great for me. I'm stuck with the same kind of emotions as after an incident 3 years ago.
A beautiful but obnoxious girl who worked in a small cafe shop randomly asks me to stay and hold her company as she closes the store when I was buying some protein post workout. She said I was a bit weird for not saying anything at the cashier and she wanted to help me be more social. She wanted to "cure" me. Of course I realized that the slut had as many problems as myself, but I went along with it, for curiosity if nothing else. We hang around for an hour or two and although I already felt uncomfortable with the situation she decides to invite me to her place on a whim. I was pretty apathetic at this point but became more and more terrified as we made our way to her apartment. She suddenly asked me whether I was gay, then a small chat about bullying in school and how it shaped us.
I become disgusted with myself even while writing this, because as soon as my bubble bursts and I'm in unknown water with human beings (mostly females) I do not know - my brain freezes and can't concentrate on anything but how I appear in the minds of the others. The situation doesn't improve by failure to conjure a proper sentence in a situation like this. So you can imagine how pathetic and lost I felt being in her apartment playing Guitar Hero and drinking some beer with her alien friends. They went out clubbing after a while, awkwardly bidding farewell as they obviously didn't want me around any longer. But it was a beneficial learning experience right? Wrong. The reward is merely self loathing and regression to an infantile stage where I my insides start wailing if mother's comforting tit is absent.
Another time on a cruise, a really cute short blond haired girl asks me if I want to come back up to dance while my legs were busy trying to navigate down the stairs to my room. We had been exchanging glances all night long and since I was not man enough to take initiative I guess she felt obliged to. I dance as if I'm Jesus on crack and a random black girl who disagrees with my technique tries to teach me how to dance more casually. She engages in the stereotypical crotch dance from MTV hip hop music videos with me to a couple of beats until then my little blonde haired angel jealously looks in my general direction and I try to friendly disengage the displeased orcish brute and get back to her. We share a pretty romantic time together while gazing upon the black ocean and the starry sky. I ask for her number (I can actually do this when I'm very drunk, believe it or not), we talk about philosophy and music and go back to our respective cabins. Sexual intercourse was difficult due to her sharing room with her mother, but it was the only time in my life where such a progression would feel natural.
On the next day when I sober up we meet up and I tense up not knowing how to hold a proper conversation with a pretty girl. We just sit around and say nothing, a bit awkward for the most part but as I was exhausted from lack of sleep and hung over I didn't even feel like trying too much.
We part ways telling each other to keep in touch, I message her a few times during the next week with stupid small talk. She replies pretty short and dismissive a few times but seeing as I was madly in love I didn't want to take the signals and kept on composing guitar songs in her name. After a while she stops completely followed by a long reply that basically sums up that she isn't looking for a (distance) relationship but doesn't want to 'hurt my feelings'. I just said that I didn't care, that I don't want a girlfriend anyway and that she was just misinterpreting me. Probably could see through the idiotic and blatant lie. She still hurts so much. Probably because it was one of the closest encounters I had to grasping mutual love. And she was such a gentle and sensitive being, so far from all the sluts I encounter daily.
I can recollect painful memories on and on but you get the point. I don't make any progress with females and the sexual frustration is slowly eating my insides. Fuck.
 
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Stopped reading at "i would collect a hug"
You are a real fucking weirdo shauni.
Read further, stopped at "the slut arrived with her boyfriend" what the living fuck is wrong with you? o.O Someone lost a season train ticket. That automatically means its a hot young single woman who wants your dick? She came to collect her train ticket dude.
2nd edit: I understand at this point its a huge troll, with the black stereotyping and mummy issues. In fact i knew that when i clicked on the shauni blog but i like to give benefit of the doubt. Whether this is a joke or not, you need to think about what is coming out of your mouth (read: fingers) before saying it and probably seek some form of counselling.
Stop calling every girl who talks to you a slut. Dem cashier girls amirite?
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Even though this is most probably a troll post, it's still creepy as f**k.
Well played Shauni
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On November 11 2013 09:24 NeThZOR wrote:
Sluts everywhere lol.
Only a slut if you don't sleep with Shauni, otherwise you're an angel.
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What the fuck a "hug". Man I don't want to make you feel self conscious but try to take a step back and try to imagine what people think when you randomly ask for a hug from a stranger.
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Hong Kong9148 Posts
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Don't ever find one of my sister's season train tickets...
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I thoroughly enjoyed this and most of the readers here are socially inept so your tone is likely misunderstood.
They're all sluts, and the slut should have given you a hug.
If any of what you say is true, this is a matter of self confidence, silence with girls is awkward for you. Once you are comfortable with yourself, being around women is no different to anyone else, only the attraction makes things fun.
Keep working on it, try make conversation not because you think conversation with a girl would increase your chances, but because you want to be a guy who can hold a decent conversation. Basically talking to a girl is an opportunity to practice a skill you want to accomplish for yourself, not for the outcome of hooking up with her (bonus)z
Practice makes perfect and rejection is a part of the fun
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can you hook up with riku please
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This is like a whole new level of awkward.
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United Kingdom14103 Posts
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I used to be you. Not to insult you - I'm not comparing our intelligence, but I know exactly how you feel. Years after I was through with it all I came to realize that I should have probably payed for a prostitute just to get used to the process. You lose that fear of failure that way (at least I assume you would). You know damn well you are many times smarter than people currently banging these chicks, so the issue is not your inability to hold a conversation, but confidence that w/e you say will be accepted and appreciated enough for you to not worry.
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One advice that is hard to accept - just tell them you are very inexperienced with dating but you would love to try. Something like that. You will get an honest answer and you won't get into an awkward situation. Looking for that one "understanding" girl could take a lifetime, so just stop pretending that you know what you are doing for a change, see what happens. It really is a good approach.
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On November 11 2013 13:40 usedtocare wrote:
You know damn well you are many times smarter than people currently banging these chicks
Lol what. IP check for shauni plz :-D
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Sorry to hear about your troubles. Keep on trying, because the right girl for you is out there. Sometimes you might not see it at first glance. One great way to know if you are sexually compatible with someone is through pheromones. People naturally release pheromones, and if you are aroused through the scent of a particular person's pheromones, it indicates that you have high sexual compatibility with them. Keep on collecting hugs as rewards because it is a great way to get close enough to someone to ingest their pheromones. Otherwise, you can pick up people's pheromones by nasal inhalation of their articles of clothing, such as their jacket. Don't give up, and keep us updated!
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On November 11 2013 14:02 Capped wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2013 13:40 usedtocare wrote:
You know damn well you are many times smarter than people currently banging these chicks Lol what. IP check for shauni plz :-D
Sad.
You are obviously good at reading people, I hope you choose a compatible career path.
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You seem very focused on what you can get from women. Shift focus onto what you can give. When you give, then you will receive.
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On November 11 2013 14:24 Chairman Ray wrote:
Sorry to hear about your troubles. Keep on trying, because the right girl for you is out there. Sometimes you might not see it at first glance. One great way to know if you are sexually compatible with someone is through pheromones. People naturally release pheromones, and if you are aroused through the scent of a particular person's pheromones, it indicates that you have high sexual compatibility with them. Keep on collecting hugs as rewards because it is a great way to get close enough to someone to ingest their pheromones. Otherwise, you can pick up people's pheromones by nasal inhalation of their articles of clothing, such as their jacket. Don't give up, and keep us updated!
rofl you guys are too much
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EPT
