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Blogs > Kenpachi
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Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
July 30 2013 00:08 GMT
#1
There comes a time every so often that I feel like doing absolutely nothing. It feels like I'm fading away, everything is pointless and I just want to curl into a ball. I think it's a severe case of boredom but this is reoccuring and although it doesn't last for more than a week or a few days, it happens and I just feel unproductive and dead. Maybe it's loneliness? I remember reading that extroverts get exhausted from being alone and I honestly think I'm an extroverted dude (or share that trait atleast where I tire). I feel guilty when I try to enjoy my time so I think it's also a sense of being lazy. I really don't know, I'm just thinking about it and I want the feeling to go away for good and that is all. Could be fatigue, I don't know.

*
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
wanghis
Profile Joined July 2011
United States320 Posts
July 30 2013 00:18 GMT
#2
have you tried jerking it?
是那种想到他每天训练14个小时好辛苦就很心疼就想给他揉揉肩煲煲汤的那种爱
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
July 30 2013 00:20 GMT
#3
How do you feel guilty when you enjoy your time? Is it that you want to accomplish something more productive?
Drizzt3
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States189 Posts
July 30 2013 00:51 GMT
#4
That actually sounds alot like depression dude to be honest
"Before my time is done I will look down at your corpse and smile."-Brad Pitt (Achilles)
sLideSC2
Profile Joined July 2012
United States225 Posts
July 30 2013 00:55 GMT
#5
hey alot of us feel like that. you aren't alone,
https://twitter.com/sLideSC2 | (NA)sLide.635 | coL_Sasqautch ~ coL_QXC ~ coL_TriMaster
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
July 30 2013 01:02 GMT
#6
On July 30 2013 09:20 Chairman Ray wrote:
How do you feel guilty when you enjoy your time? Is it that you want to accomplish something more productive?

Possibly, I guess it's the idea that i could be doing something else but I don't really want to do anything.

On July 30 2013 09:51 Drizzt3 wrote:
That actually sounds alot like depression dude to be honest

I don't think I'm under depression, this is something that occurs sporadically in a way.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
July 30 2013 01:08 GMT
#7
Just because you've got "depression" doesn't mean you're depressed 24/7. He's pretty accurate in his suggestion. Take it from someone with depression

don't tell TL, tell a therapist or someone who can actually help you do something about it.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
Burrfoot
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
United States1176 Posts
July 30 2013 01:19 GMT
#8
Get addicted to and subscribe to a MMO! Depression solver + diabetes in one!
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/Davlok-1847/career
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
July 30 2013 01:29 GMT
#9
On July 30 2013 10:08 Torenhire wrote:
Just because you've got "depression" doesn't mean you're depressed 24/7. He's pretty accurate in his suggestion. Take it from someone with depression

don't tell TL, tell a therapist or someone who can actually help you do something about it.

lol i didn't self-diagnose myself with depression when i made this blog, I just wanted to vent something people might be able to give me advice for.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
MarklarMarklarr
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Fiji226 Posts
July 30 2013 01:31 GMT
#10
That is the time when you are supposed to trip on LSD or smoke copious amounts of weed(sativa). At least that helps me.
Hello there
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 30 2013 01:34 GMT
#11
On July 30 2013 10:29 Kenpachi wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 30 2013 10:08 Torenhire wrote:
Just because you've got "depression" doesn't mean you're depressed 24/7. He's pretty accurate in his suggestion. Take it from someone with depression

don't tell TL, tell a therapist or someone who can actually help you do something about it.

lol i didn't self-diagnose myself with depression when i made this blog, I just wanted to vent something people might be able to give me advice for.

why don't you treat it as something that has symptoms similar to depression?
PhoenixVoid
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada32740 Posts
July 30 2013 01:40 GMT
#12
I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor, but the symptoms resemble depression, and I know a few close friends who are afflicted with the condition, and they all retold me how they felt the same. Try reaching out to a medical expert or a therapist for some help, because languishing in bed or playing video games and doing drugs aren't going to solve anything. Of course it may be just a case of the blues, but as a fellow TL'er, I hope you find some help.
I'm afraid of demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutants
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
July 30 2013 01:43 GMT
#13
On July 30 2013 10:19 Burrfoot wrote:
Get addicted to and subscribe to a MMO! Depression solver + diabetes in one!


lol worst advice ever.
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10341 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 02:02:39
July 30 2013 02:02 GMT
#14
Your first problem is attempting to arbitrarily label yourself as an extrovert. There must be more to you than this kind of self-identification
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
babylon
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
8765 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 02:02:45
July 30 2013 02:02 GMT
#15
Pick up a creative hobby (e.g. writing, drawing, painting, origami, guitar, whatevs). It does wonders for that unproductive feeling.
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
July 30 2013 02:23 GMT
#16
On July 30 2013 11:02 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
Your first problem is attempting to arbitrarily label yourself as an extrovert. There must be more to you than this kind of self-identification

mph. I've been delving into what kind of person I truly am so things like the introversion extroversion thread in the General Forums really interested me. I actually got a 50/50 result there on the meyers briggs tests and stuff but I think I'd classify myself as an extrovert over an introvert solely because I prefer a larger group.

Other things I've learned? I'm fairly self-centered (self aware?), arrogant rather than confident (how fix), stubborn.. People say I generally look disinterested in whatever I do. I'm pretty optimistic and hopeful. I have terrible perception of other people. I'm usually wrong when it comes to understanding other people. I know I'm inexperienced when it comes to anything. I've been sheltered and I know I don't know that much. I tend to hang out with not just 1 group of friends but different groups.. I'm supposed to be pretty creative and I don't like claiming others work as my own. I am very prideful ... and more.. Is that the self identification you were looking for o_o..?
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10341 Posts
July 30 2013 02:46 GMT
#17
I don't know, I think life kind of sucks sometimes and basically the only thing you can do is something else you waste hours if not years wallowing in the overwhelming circumstances of your reality.
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32054 Posts
July 30 2013 03:46 GMT
#18
that's depression homie. consider talkign to a therapist if it bothers you enough to post a blog and it's been a thing for you for that long
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Staboteur
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada1873 Posts
July 30 2013 04:49 GMT
#19
On July 30 2013 11:23 Kenpachi wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 30 2013 11:02 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
Your first problem is attempting to arbitrarily label yourself as an extrovert. There must be more to you than this kind of self-identification

mph. I've been delving into what kind of person I truly am so things like the introversion extroversion thread in the General Forums really interested me. I actually got a 50/50 result there on the meyers briggs tests and stuff but I think I'd classify myself as an extrovert over an introvert solely because I prefer a larger group.

Other things I've learned? I'm fairly self-centered (self aware?), arrogant rather than confident (how fix), stubborn.. People say I generally look disinterested in whatever I do. I'm pretty optimistic and hopeful. I have terrible perception of other people. I'm usually wrong when it comes to understanding other people. I know I'm inexperienced when it comes to anything. I've been sheltered and I know I don't know that much. I tend to hang out with not just 1 group of friends but different groups.. I'm supposed to be pretty creative and I don't like claiming others work as my own. I am very prideful ... and more.. Is that the self identification you were looking for o_o..?


+ Show Spoiler +
I'm pretty optimistic and hopeful.


This, the ironic firefly floating in a cave of blackness.

...the not-overly-pretentious-and-cryptic translation to that is:

That's literally the only good thing you said about yourself. Otherwise, it's disinterested, terrible, wrong, inexperienced, sheltered, etc... And that's ironic, for reasons I hope are self-evident.

If I didn't suspect you were still a teenager I'd suggest that you and I go on a random excursion to Spain or Ireland or somewhere for a month and get some perspective on life... because I think you and I are partly in the same boat, where we've figured out enough of the life we've lived so far to be bored of it, and a massive and dangerous change of scenery and being surrounded by strangers would do us some good.

IN ANY CASE good luck, sir! If you care enough about yourself to ask total strangers for help and advice, I think you're a better person (and not as inexperienced or disinterested) than you think you are.
I'm actually Fleetfeet D:
XXXSmOke
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States1333 Posts
July 30 2013 05:04 GMT
#20
Have you ever played Magic the Gathering or any CCG?

I found that to be a great solution to the problem as it killed two birds with one stone, A new game to discover+ to play it you have to go to tournaments and be social.
Emperor? Boxer disapproves. He's building bunkers at your mom's house even as you're reading this.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 05:17:21
July 30 2013 05:14 GMT
#21
Try breaking up your "doing stuff" time, and your relaxation time. I know that if I feel like I'm just relaxing all the time, I think I should be productive instead -- so I don't want to relax. Just like you say, I feel guilty about playing video games or watching streams, or whatever else.

I regressed really hard earlier in the Summer when I didn't have a job, basically after applying for jobs I would play video games, then feel guilty about playing video games, then do nothing instead (real productive -_-). This pretty much continued for a month or so, to the point where I was barely cooking for my self, rarely cleaned anything, and just generally did very little and felt pretty shoddy.

Anyhow, for me personally I just need to keep busy so I can not worry about how I spend my free time. It takes time and experiences to learn about these kinds of things in life. Maybe try getting a job (if you don't have one) or volunteering for something you enjoy, it could be that you just need something to get yourself out of bed in the morning.

I'm sure it's my own pride, or youthful sense of indestructibility, but I don't really feel the need to go to a therapist for such issues as this. Again, I just think you need more stuff to do, but if it gets really bad or the issue persists you should probably seek professional help. The Summer can be pretty rough if you're not in regular contact with people, where as school pretty much forces you into socializing.

Edit: it's important to note that even if I'm not relaxing all the time, if I feel like I am, I get to thinking that I should just work more, which is why it's important for me to separate working and relaxing.
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
BisuEver
Profile Joined May 2010
United States247 Posts
July 30 2013 06:06 GMT
#22
On July 30 2013 09:18 wanghis wrote:
have you tried jerking it?

No
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/blog/10873775/pa-presents-diablo-iii-console-comic-by-katie-rice-9-13-2013
rad301
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Canada196 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 06:41:03
July 30 2013 06:32 GMT
#23
I'm hopefully going to save you years of hardship with this. I went through exactly what you are going through, and I have gone from hating myself for being unmotivated, to feeling awesome because I bust my ass and make shit happen, in a couple months.

I'm going assume that you aren't happy with yourself. You know that you are a reasonably intelligent human being capable of many things. You have pride in yourself because you've seen that you can coast through many things and still excel, but you just seem to piss your time away, unable to motivate yourself to really make shit happen. You may feel different from other people, because you don't enjoy a lot of the stupid pointless shit that people talk about and do. All of these things are true until you decide that you are so tired of being this way that you want to change.

Here's how to fix yourself. In broad strokes, you need to do two things:
-Decide who you want to become. This doesn't need to be too specific, but try your best. Things such as "I want financial independence", "I want to learn an instrument", "I want to be fit and healthy" are good general goals. If you are any bit as ambitious as I am, you'll shoot way higher.
-Start taking action towards becoming who you want to be. This requires you to motivate yourself, which is something I could right a fucking dissertation on. Instead watch this video, and do the things he says. If you don't want to take advice from a random old man in a suit with weird mannerisms, just google who Brian Tracy is. Imagine Tony Robbins, accept trying to appeal to rational business minded individuals, instead of...you get the picture probably. Anyways, I use the methods he mentions in this video and I guarantee they work. No, you don't have to buy his shit, he gives you all the info you need right there.

If you follow those steps, something funny will happen. You'll start to feel happy about yourself because you are being productive. Instead of saying things like "I can't seem to motivate myself", you'll say "I just fucking did, bitch." This creates a feedback loop, and in a while you'll actually feel like your goals are tangible. It doesn't matter that they may be years away, the knowledge that you are moving in the right direction will light a fire under your ass.

I want to mention something about the myers briggs. It will only hurt you, and it's fucking terrible. Before you think less of me, checkout my blog history and you'll find that I made a post about it back in 2010 asking people to take the test. I don't say that it's fucking terrible lightly. The thing is, if you start to identify with the things it tells you, it can severely hamper your progress. I was a stone cold "introvert" and I identified well with that label. I only had a few close friends in school, I didn't like big social gatherings, and I generally hated small talk of most kinds. Then I worked in sales for a year and a half and found out that the reason I was socially awkward, was that I avoided social interactions like the plague, and I identified myself as a fucking "introvert". I hope I didn't sound like too much of an asshole there. When you learn how destructive it is to think of yourself as anything other than who you really want to become, you see how destructive such a concept as a personality type is.

Gl hf bro, hope I at least gave you some food for thought.
"Winning shows us how hard we've trained, losing shows us we need to train harder."
MarlieChurphy
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States2063 Posts
July 30 2013 07:26 GMT
#24
Boredom is a symptom of depression. Start working out or at least going on walks and listening to some kind of useful podcast or audio book non fiction.
RIP SPOR 11/24/11 NEVAR FORGET
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
July 30 2013 08:38 GMT
#25
I'd say the best way is just to try out things. Sports, cycling, cooking, blog writing... Even cleaning up your house. Another important thing is not to make assumptions that something will suck for you even if you never did this before.

However, the best thing to learn is to stop trusting your own thoughts/feelings that much. Just because they are yours, doesn't make them as meaningful as most of people think. Plus, ultimately, they can be always overcome with actions you make.
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